“bessy,” said the elder girl, “i am dying to be alone with you for a moment.”
“well, you shall not die; that is, if being alone with me will save you.”
“i have so much to say to you. and if you have any true friendship in you, you also will have so much to say to me.”
miss garrow perhaps had no true friendship in her at that moment, for she would gladly have avoided saying anything, had that been possible. but in order to prove that she was not deficient in friendship, she gave her friend her hand.
“and now tell me everything about godfrey,” said isabella.
“dear bella, i have nothing to tell;—literally nothing.”
“that is nonsense. stop a moment, dear, and understand that i do not mean to offend you. it cannot be that you have nothing to tell, if you choose to tell it. you are not the girl to have accepted godfrey without loving him, nor is he the man to have asked you without loving you. when you write me word that you have changed your mind, as you might about a dress, of course i know you have not told me all. now i insist upon knowing it,—that is, if we are to be friends. i would not speak a word to godfrey till i had seen you, in order that i might hear your story first.”
“indeed, bella, there is no story to tell.”
“then i must ask him.”
“if you wish to play the part of a true friend to me, you will let the matter pass by and say nothing. you must understand that, circumstanced as we are, your brother’s visit here,—what i mean is, that it is very difficult for me to act and speak exactly as i should do, and a few unfortunate words spoken may make my position unendurable.”
“will you answer me one question?”
“i cannot tell. i think i will.”
“do you love him?” for a moment or two bessy remained silent, striving to arrange her words so that they should contain no falsehood, and yet betray no truth. “ah, i see you do,” continued miss holmes. “but of course you do. why else did you accept him?”
“i fancied that i did, as young ladies do sometimes fancy.”
“and will you say that you do not, now?” again bessy was silent, and then her friend rose from her seat. “i see it all,” she said. “what a pity it was that you both had not some friend like me by you at the time! but perhaps it may not be too late.”
i need not repeat at length all the protestations which upon this were poured forth with hot energy by poor bessy. she endeavoured to explain how great had been the difficulty of her position. this christmas visit had been arranged before that unhappy affair at liverpool had occurred. isabella’s visit had been partly one of business, it being necessary that certain money affairs should be arranged between her, her brother, and the major. “i determined,” said bessy, “not to let my feelings stand in the way; and hoped that things might settle down to their former friendly footing. i already fear that i have been wrong, but it will be ungenerous in you to punish me.” then she went on to say that if anybody attempted to interfere with her, she should at once go away to her mother’s sister, who lived at hexham, in northumberland.
then came the dance, and the hearts of kate and patty coverdale were at last happy. but here again poor bessy was made to understand how terribly difficult was this experiment of entertaining on a footing of friendship a lover with whom she had quarrelled only a month or two before. that she must as a necessity become the partner of godfrey holmes she had already calculated, and so much she was prepared to endure. her brothers would of course dance with the coverdale girls, and her father would of course stand up with isabella. there was no other possible arrangement, at any rate as a beginning.
she had schooled herself, too, as to the way in which she would speak to him on the occasion, and how she would remain mistress of herself and of her thoughts. but when the time came the difficulty was almost too much for her.
“you do not care much for dancing, if i remember?” said he.
“oh yes, i do. not as patty coverdale does. it’s a passion with her. but then i am older than patty coverdale.” after that he was silent for a minute or two.
“it seems so odd to me to be here again,” he said. it was odd;—she felt that it was odd. but he ought not to have said so.
“two years make a great difference. the boys have grown so much.”
“yes, and there are other things,” said he.
“bella was never here before; at least not with you.”
“no. but i did not exactly mean that. all that would not make the place so strange. but your mother seems altered to me. she used to be almost like my own mother.”
“i suppose she finds that you are a more formidable person as you grow older. it was all very well scolding you when you were a clerk in the bank, but it does not do to scold the manager. these are the penalties men pay for becoming great.”
“it is not my greatness that stands in my way, but—”
“then i’m sure i cannot say what it is. but patty will scold you if you do not mind the figure, though you were the whole board of directors packed into one. she won’t respect you if you neglect your present work.”
when bessy went to bed that night she began to feel that she had attempted too much. “mamma,” she said, “could i not make some excuse and go away to aunt mary?”
“what now?”
“yes, mamma; now; to-morrow. i need not say that it will make me very unhappy to be away at such a time, but i begin to think that it will be better.”
“what will papa say?”
“you must tell him all.”
“and aunt mary must be told also. you would not like that. has he said anything?”
“no, nothing;—very little, that is. but bella has spoken to me. oh, mamma, i think we have been very wrong in this. that is, i have been wrong. i feel as though i should disgrace myself, and turn the whole party here into a misfortune.”
it would be dreadful, that telling of the story to her father and to her aunt, and such a necessity must, if possible, be avoided. should such a necessity actually come, the former task would, no doubt, be done by her mother, but that would not lighten the load materially. after a fortnight she would again meet her father, and would be forced to discuss it. “i will remain if it be possible,” she said; “but, mamma, if i wish to go, you will not stop me?” her mother promised that she would not stop her, but strongly advised her to stand her ground.
on the following morning, when she came down stairs before breakfast, she found frank standing in the hall with his gun, of which he was trying the lock. “it is not loaded, is it, frank?” said she.
“oh dear, no; no one thinks of loading now-a-days till he has got out of the house. directly after breakfast i am going across with godfrey to the back of greystock, to see after some moor-fowl. he asked me to go, and i couldn’t well refuse.”
“of course not. why should you?”
“it will be deuced hard work to make up the time. i was to have been up at four this morning, but that alarum went off and never woke me. however, i shall be able to do something to-night.”
“don’t make a slavery of your holidays, frank. what’s the good of having a new gun if you’re not to use it?”
“it’s not the new gun. i’m not such a child as that comes to. but, you see, godfrey is here, and one ought to be civil to him. i’ll tell you what i want you girls to do, bessy. you must come and meet us on our way home. come over in the boat and along the path to the patterdale road. we’ll be there under the hill about five.”
“and if you are not, we are to wait in the snow?”
“don’t make difficulties, bessy. i tell you we will be there. we are to go in the cart, and so shall have plenty of time.”
“and how do you know the other girls will go?”
“why, to tell you the truth, patty coverdale has promised. as for miss holmes, if she won’t, why you must leave her at home with mamma. but kate and patty can’t come without you.”
“your discretion has found that out, has it?”
“they say so. but you will come; won’t you, bessy? as for waiting, it’s all nonsense. of course you can walk on. but we’ll be at the stile by five. i’ve got my watch, you know.” and then bessy promised him. what would she not have done for him that was in her power to do?
“go! of course i’ll go,” said miss holmes. “i’m up to anything. i’d have gone with them this morning, and have taken a gun if they’d asked me. but, by-the-bye, i’d better not.”
“why not?” said patty, who was hardly yet without fear lest something should mar the expedition.
“what will three gentlemen do with four ladies?”
“oh, i forgot,” said patty innocently.
“i’m sure i don’t care,” said kate; “you may have harry if you like.”
“thank you for nothing,” said miss holmes. “i want one for myself. it’s all very well for you to make the offer, but what should i do if harry wouldn’t have me? there are two sides, you know, to every bargain.”
“i’m sure he isn’t anything to me,” said kate. “why, he’s not quite seventeen years old yet!”
“poor boy! what a shame to dispose of him so soon. we’ll let him off for a year or two; won’t we, miss coverdale? but as there seems by acknowledgment to be one beau with unappropriated services—”
“i’m sure i have appropriated nobody,” said patty, “and didn’t intend.”
“godfrey, then, is the only knight whose services are claimed,” said miss holmes, looking at bessy. bessy made no immediate answer with either her eyes or tongue; but when the coverdales were gone, she took her new friend to task.
“how can you fill those young girls’ heads with such nonsense?”
“nature has done that, my dear.”
“but nature should be trained; should it not? you will make them think that those foolish boys are in love with them.”
“the foolish boys, as you call them, will look after that themselves. it seems to me that the foolish boys know what they are about better than some of their elders.” and then, after a moment’s pause, she added, “as for my brother, i have no patience with him.”
“pray do not discuss your brother,” said bessy. “and, bella, unless you wish to drive me away, pray do not speak of him and me together as you did just now.”
“are you so bad as that,—that the slightest commonplace joke upsets you? would not his services be due to you as a matter of course? if you are so sore about it, you will betray your own secret.”
