i must believe that the parents who fail, from carelessness or from “lack of ambition”—the holy sort, which is equivalent to consecration and diligence—to give the child the best possible preparation for a good work, will be held responsible for the failure that would have resulted if god had not stepped in with some special helps and prevented it.
love for god will cover a multitude of social sins; but those who are responsible for the sins will sometime have their reproach to bear. god does not like to have to cover sins; he only does it so as to keep things looking as tidy as possible, until they can be put entirely out of the way. covet the best gifts for your child, give him the best possible social habits, and then turn him over to god for work, and god will find rare service for him.
85
there are many teachings as to what constitutes good form at table. it would be impossible for the ordinary mortal so to acquaint himself with them as to become a “social success;” and this is far from our purpose. all we need care about is to see that the habits formed are free from anything offensive. society is kind to one who is not ambitious for social distinction,—one who has something to say that is worth hearing, who represents a principle, or some new thing the discussion of which may possibly furnish an agreeable diversion,—very much after the manner of the athenians in paul’s time; so that even if one does not “know all the ropes,” like one “to the manor born,” he will be received and heard, provided he does not blunder into the few things which good form has decreed that he must not do under any circumstances.
among these prohibited things are thrusting out the elbows from the side so as to 86 push his neighbor at table; resting the elbows on the table; and extending the legs under it so as to bring the feet in the way of those belonging to the guest opposite. if any guest does these things, he may be sure that there will be at least three people over whom the best and truest things that he can say will have very little influence.
the eyes of those who chance to glance his way will be seriously offended and quickly averted if he should take up even a half-slice of bread and bite into it. good form says that bread must be broken off in small bits, just when needed, not spread, but with a small lump of butter placed upon it (provided one uses butter), conveyed to the mouth with the thumb and finger of the left hand. you will be permitted to bite the piece in two once if you wish, but no more; that is, it must not be more than two “mouthfuls” to begin with. under no circumstances must anything, such as fruit-pits, 87 etc., be ejected from the mouth into a spoon, fork, or plate, but taken from the lips with the left thumb and finger, and placed on the plate. neither bread nor any refuse is ever to be placed on the cloth, but on the side-dishes provided; or, lacking these, on the one plate that is being used.
food should not be conveyed to the mouth with a knife, but with a fork, always excepting soup, and such sauce as must be handled with a spoon.
do teach your children not to thrust the point of the spoon into the mouth, but to take its contents with the lips from that part nearest the handle, without the least possible sound. teach them not to lift the spoon so full that it will drip; and as your boy grows up into mustaches he will need to learn how to take soup and sauce without defiling those manly ornaments, or else to let soup alone at the banquet. but you can teach him from 88 childhood to handle his napkin so deftly as to keep his lips clean, even after they have put on their thatch.
as to the napkin, by all means habituate the child to its use, even if it be nothing more than a square of old calico or flour-sacking, hemmed, or even unhemmed. he can learn on a piece of his mother’s old apron how to use the fine linen of the king’s banquet-hall, and do it so daintily that the apron and the mother who wore it down to napkin dimensions will confer honor on the king’s damask.
o my sister mothers in the many humbler homes of those who love our lord and are looking for his appearing, has it seemed to you that any of these things that i have written are trivial or burdensome, wholly outside the sphere of life in which you and your children will ever move? are you so overburdened with many cares that you feel, when the food is cooked and placed “anyhow,” 89 that your part is done; that the family may come “just as it happens” and eat, simply to satisfy hunger, as do the cattle in the field? have you thought that if you could but get through the day anyhow, your duty was done? still you must meet the certainties that are before you. your children must bear a part in the closing scenes of the world’s history,—ask yourself if there is not something for you in these things that i have written. they have been written with a most solemn sense of their importance. they are a part of the gospel message; they concern the work which some one now in training must do before the lord can come.
the knowledge of how to prepare and serve a hygienic dinner, as well as how to select suitable portions and decline others, at a worldly banquet, may be absolutely necessary to the winning of souls in the last call to the world.
