the boy discovered in london that day how much possession of a little money helps enjoyment. one does not want very much in london, but one does want some, and bobbie, with four or five shillings in his pocket, found delights that london millionaires can never encounter. two shillings and threepence of his fortune went to the purchase in city road of a hard felt hat. the proprietor of the shop urged him to purchase a silk hat, and the boy tried one on, laughing very much at his own reflection in the mirror, but there were several good reasons why he should not agree with the proprietor (“a silk hat,” argued the proprietor, “tells me that a man’s a gentleman”), of which one was that he remembered reading a reply to a correspondent in one of the newspapers at collingwood cottage, which stated that a silk hat was not “de rigueur” for the country or the seaside; a second that he did not possess more than half the amount required for the cheapest specimen. the bowler hat, however, brought great content. later in the day, finding himself in hyde park, he fastened his long frock-coat as well as the existing buttons would permit, and strolled down the row, lifting his hat now and again to no one with great courtesy. he became exceedingly wishful to find some person with whom he might talk. he was getting on rather well with a little six-year-old maid, and had made for her fair-haired doll a couch of grass near the achilles statue, and the little girl had told him that she had such a booful mamma and such a horrid large nurse and such a fearfully hard piano and such oceans of toys, when she and her doll were whisked away magically by the large nurse referred to, and bobbie spent two whole hours in searching for them with no success. out in knightsbridge a string of sandwich men walked along gloomily, bearing advertisements of a new piece at one of the west end theatres; it occurred to the boy that it would be rather a fine, lordly act to pay his shilling and go to a first-class play, just for all the world as though he lived in belgravia. the idea clipped his fancy, and despite the fact that after dinner at a cheap restaurant, whose proud boast was, “come in here, and you will never go anywhere else,” he found that he would only have just enough left to pay his fare to the nearest railway station to brenchley, he made up his mind to go to the theatre. he had a good wash at the cheap restaurant, and parted his hair in the middle, looking very closely to see if there existed a suspicion of down upon his upper lip. it was magnificent, this life of independence, but, obviously, there were drawbacks. for instance, you had not only to arrange for your meals, but you had also to pay them; this done, the fact remained that neither the quantity nor the quality proved so good as in the cottage homes. the boy foresaw (without troubling himself very much about it) that herein might be found a source of inconvenience. he packed the cornet very carefully in a borrowed newspaper; the cornet was slightly in the way, but he remembered that it belonged to the cottage homes, and he meant to return it there eventually. it was wrong to steal.
at the gallery door of the theatre that evening he found himself in a short queue, side by side with a thoughtful-looking youth, who carried on his arm an aged travelling rug. this youth talked very learnedly to bobbie about the new phases of the drama, bobbie listening with p. 63respect because it was a subject on which he felt himself to be not completely informed.
“convention,” said the thoughtful young man, covering both of his arms with the old travelling rug and edging nearer to the two ladies in front, “convention, my dear sir, is the curse of the modern drama. the drama is enwrapped with iron shackles, and it screams aloud—excuse me, madam, they’re pushing at the back—and it screams aloud, ‘release my bonds and give me liberty.’”
“i see,” said bobbie.
“what we want is to see the realities of life placed upon the stage,” went on the thoughtful youth, “not a transparent imitation. we require the stage to give up its great services to the threshing out of some of the world’s trying problems, and to—”
“best piece i ever see was at the britannia, ’oxton,” interrupted bobbie, “when i was a kid. there was a man in it and a woman, and you must understand—”
“got change for half a sovereign?” interrupted the thoughtful youth. “small silver will do.”
“this is all i ’ave,” said bobbie, showing the coins which were left to him, “besides the bob i’ve got in me hand.”
“ah,” said the youth regretfully. “that’s no use to me. put it back in your breast pocket—so. allow me. if you place your handkerchief over it in this way, you’ll find yourself quite safe from thieves.”
“i s’pose there are some about still.”
“town’s full of ’em,” said the other regretfully.
the narrow crowd made a movement, and the pairs closed up. a facetious man in the very front rapped twice at the doors, affecting to be the post.
“what’s to-night?” asked the youth suddenly. bobbie gave the information. “heavens!” exclaimed the youth, with great concern. “here am i wasting my time hanging about when i’ve got an engagement with a lady of title at a reunion.”
“say you forgot all about it,” suggested bobbie.
“i would,” said the troubled youth confidentially, “only lady b.’s such a jealous woman. it’s as much as she’ll do to let me out of her sight.”
“well,” remarked bobbie, chaffingly, “if you will get mixed up with the fair sex, you must put up with the consequences.” the youth went off as the doors opened, and the short, eel-like crowd slipping in demurely, went up the stairs.
when they were all seated it appeared that there was plenty of room for everybody; indeed only the two front rows secured any patrons, and the programme girl at the back, looking down at the scantily filled benches, said something so bitter and satirical to the policeman on duty, that one of her hairpins fell out, and tripped down the steps of the silent gallery, quite startling the few demure people. the patrons spoke in whispers; when bobbie commenced to whistle, with a view of cheering them, they said “hush!” and frowned at him.
a few people strayed into the dress circle and into the stalls below; the gentlemen declining to buy programmes, and the ladies pinning their tweed caps to their petticoats. bobbie called out very loudly, “orders!” and the constable up at the back interrupted his conversation with the satirical programme girl to whisper a reproof. an important-looking gentleman in p. 64white waistcoat came into a box, and surveyed through his opera glasses the gallery with contemptuous air; bobbie, chafing under this deliberate inspection, and disregarding the indignant looks of his neighbours, said distinctly and repeatedly,—
“take off that—white—weskit. take off—that—white—weskit. take off—that—white—”
until the important gentleman had to retire defeated behind the hangings of the box. presently a small orchestra stumbled shyly in, with a conductor, who, having looked round and yawned openly at the house, led them through a sleepy waltz, that eventually induced bobbie to kick loudly at the wooden front of the gallery. the curtain went up to a few bars of a comic song, and then bobbie, hopeful of enjoyment, took off his frock-coat, and leaned forward expectantly.
the bills described the play as a highly diverting original comedy fantasy, which was so long a title that it might well have included some of the elements of truth; but, as it proved, did not. a smart young maid and a mild footman were discovered on the stage, and these dusting at nothing in the elaborate breakfast-room with great energy, explained to each other that master had not been home the previous night, that mistress had gone to meet her aunt at southampton, that this was a rum household, upon their word, and that they would be glad when they should have made enough money to take that little public-house on which they had set their hearts. nevertheless, the maid boxed the ears of the mild footman soundly when he attempted to kiss her, at which moment one of the many doors in the room opened, and a wild-eyed young man appeared in evening dress, his necktie awry, and a hunted, affrighted look on his face. the two servants having taken his hoarsely-whispered commands for breakfast and disappeared, the distraught-looking master, advancing to the footlights, told the nearly empty house the story of his trouble. taking advantage, it seemed, of his wife’s absence, he had been to a fancy dress ball the night before. there he had met an exceedingly handsome, opulent lady of south american extraction, who comported herself with great hauteur and coldness until a sudden alarm of “fire” took place; on the instant he had clung to her from sheer nervousness and she had dragged him safely from the place. arrived outside, the lady, to his amazement, declared him to be her preserver, disclosed her christian name as evangeline; swore never to leave him, but to confer upon him her hand in marriage, and when he attempted to fly, ran after him. the smart maid here interrupted, announcing, “a lady to see you, sir, and please mistress has arrived.” entrance of a veiled lady, who, as the young master took refuge under a table, went across and through a doorway; entrance at that instant of young wife; ingenious but inexact explanation of his appearance by the husband; sudden return of the strange lady, who, giving up the veil, cried, “my preserver!” the young husband cried, “my evangeline!” the young wife cried, “my aunt!” and—curtain on the first act.
“well,” said bobbie, looking around, “of all the dam silly plays—ello! ello! who’s pinched my oof?”
“what say, little boy?”
“who’s took my money,” demanded the boy, his face white. he looked under the seat, but it had not fallen out of the pocket. “three or four bob i had and every penny’s gone.”
he turned savagely to the lady next him, “have you got it?”
p. 65so far from having bobbie’s money, it appeared that the lady herself had lost a purse which she had carried, for the better convenience of the thoughtful young man outside with the travelling rug, in a back pocket which everybody could get at but herself. bobbie, sick and depressed at his loss, sat through the rest of the play trying to think out a plan of action, arriving just before eleven at a decision. the husband of the lady who had been robbed of her purse became so elated and triumphant over the event (having, it seemed, always prophesied that this would happen, and being one not often successful in forecasts) that he gave bobbie sixpence, and bobbie, after groaning in an unearthly way at the close of the piece, went out and down the stairs into the bright, crowded, busy street, with this coin for only monetary possession.
charing cross station was filled with theatre patrons who, judging from their pleased faces, had been more fortunate than bobbie, and were now hastening to suburban homes. ladies in gossamer cloaks flew about excitedly in search of their platform; men in evening dress imperilled the catching of their last train by making frantic rushes to the refreshment bar. bobbie discovered that the last train to paddock wood had gone; discovered also the platform from which the tonbridge train (tonbridge being the next convenient station) started, and, taking advantage of a sudden rush at the barrier, slipped in between the people and was borne by them along the platform. there he found the train waiting; found the guard’s van of the train; found a corner in the van, and whilst the young guard collected the offertory from third-class passengers for whom he had found room in another class of carriage, bobbie secreted himself behind a big square wicker basket. the young guard whistled; the engine whistled, the doors banged to, the young guard jumped neatly into his brake, shouting good-night to the officials on the platform; the train went out across the bridge, and presently, after one or two stops, away into the dark country. the boy, crouching uncomfortably in ambuscade, consoled himself with anticipation. once in the duchess’s hotel comfort and he would not again separate. perhaps they would put him in a uniform and make him general commanding of the hall; he could see the hall lined with giant palms; polite waiters at the far end guarding entrance to an elaborately-furnished dining-room. there would be mirrors with (he felt sure of this) roses painted upon them. he could imagine all this; what he could not adequately picture was the elaborate hot breakfast which the duchess would cause to be prepared for him.
“and now,” said the young guard, entering the van from his compartment, “now for a struggle.”
bobbie, hiding low behind the square basket, trembled. he had some thought of giving himself up and throwing himself upon the mercy of the guard, but he decided to wait. he could hear the rustling of pages as the young guard standing under the roof lamp commenced in a loud voice to recite:—
“a signalman sat in his signal-box
a thinking of this and that,
when the eight-ten mail went rushing by,
and he started, for—”
the young guard made his way steadily through the verses, then closing the book, tried to recite them without assistance, and partly succeeded, partly failed.
p. 66“i shall be no more better perfect by thursday,” said the young guard hopelessly, “than my old lamp.”
at tonbridge, when the train stopped—the hour being now near upon one—bobbie, who had been dozing under the effects of the guard’s recital, warily bestirred himself. he waited until the guard had stepped out, and then, by rushing into the centre compartment of the van, he just managed to elude the porters who had thrown open the doors to clear out parcels. bobbie jumped down from the off side of the brake on to the ballast, and intuitively made his way down the line. he had to reach the next station, paddock wood, and then the course would be clear; in all he guessed there was about a ten miles walk before him, and, by refraining from hurry, this ought to take him through the night. he walked carefully away from the station into the black night by the side of the lines, but not so carefully as to avoid an occasional stumble over iron rods connecting the points. by good chance he chose the line which would take him to paddock wood, and he made his way stolidly in the darkness along the straight rails, the cornet in his tail pocket knocking at his ankles. looking back he saw the red and green lights of the junction that he had left; looking forward he saw nothing. now and again he struck a match for the sake of company, and then for a moment he caught sight of the four shining rails and the tall gaunt telegraph posts; resting at one or two of these posts, he had a talk with them, and listened to their ceaseless humming. he was not afraid yet, because a spirit of adventure was in the air; he knew several boys at the homes who would have shrieked with terror to find themselves alone like this on a black night in a lonely country with which they were not acquainted. the dead silence was just beginning to terrify him when far ahead he saw two small white eyes. they came nearer and nearer and larger and larger. the boy became nervous. he stopped and stumbled down into the dry ditch that ran along by the side of the railway; the two white eyes came upon him with a hissing sound, bobbie put his hands over his face and held his breath. a fierce tumultuous rush past; a flash of light. bobbie venturing to remove his hands after a full minute, saw that the engine, out alone at a time of night when all respectable engines should have been abed, was a distance off, its rear light showing redly.
he felt shaken by this, but he made his way doggedly along the loose ballasted walk, through the dark, still night, trying not to think of what he was doing; nevertheless, he still counted the gaunt telegraph posts, and told each of them its number. he had been walking, he thought, about an hour and a half, when he saw specks of coloured lights in the distance, and he knew that he was nearing a station. from thence he would have to branch off to the right.
“i’m getting on a fair treat,” he said, cheerfully.
at paddock wood, noise and commotion that were grateful after the silence of the walk. goods trains blundering about in sidings and excited men with lamps begging them to be reasonable, but the trucks of goods trains declining to listen to advice, and quarrelling and nudging and punching and shoving each other in a great state of ill-temper. engines, on the earnest appeal of the men with lamps, hurried to restore order, and the occasion being one demanding drastic remedy, half a dozen specially quarrelsome trucks were selected for punishment, a masterful engine drew them out on a middle line, and when one of the men with lamps had uncoupled p. 67them, the engine made a sudden rush and sent them all flying away into a distant siding where they could no longer interfere with the general order. something of quiet ensuing upon this, the engine-drivers drank hot tea out of tin cans, and the shunters with lamps made a hasty meal of thick bread and thick bacon—a meal interrupted by the arrival of a long, overgrown goods train, which insisted upon ridding itself of a dozen trucks, and went after a while with an exultant shriek at having got the best of somebody. bobbie stood away from all this, watching it with great delight. he had begun to feel sleepy. this awakened him.
he went out through the flat, silent, straggling village, and found, by climbing a finger-post and striking a match, the direction that he had to take for brenchley. there was a vague touch of lightness now in the starless sky; passing by the quick-set hedge, bordering a churchyard, he could see upright tombstones, dimly white, and the sight depressed the boy, for he knew that here were those whose memory to some was dear. the boy came to cross roads, and then found that his box of matches had disappeared through a hole in his frock-coat pocket. he sat down with his back against the post fixed in the grass triangle at the centre of the roads; before he had time to warn himself to keep awake, his eyes closed. he slept.
“now, then!” said a voice. “time all boys was out of bed.”
“it’s all right, mother,” said the boy sleepily. “i was just getting—”
he rubbed his eyes and looked around. instead of the neat room with its red-counterpaned beds, and the mother of collingwood cottage shaking his shoulder—broad daylight and the open country. the person who had awakened him was a uniformed man, with a straight-peaked cap which bore the figure of a horse.
“know where you are?” asked the uniformed man.
“just beginning to guess,” said the boy blinking.
“where you bound for?”
“what’s it got to do with you?” asked bobbie, yawning.
“it’s got all to do with me, as it happens. i’m the constable in charge of this district.”
“ho, yes!” said the boy incredulously. “where’s your ’elmet?”
“ah!” remarked the constable, with tolerance. “you’re town bred, i can see. what you got in your tail pocket?”
“cornet.”
“whose?”
“mine,” said the boy defiantly. “who’s did you think?”
“one minute,” said the constable sharply. “haven’t done with you yet, my lad. if that’s your cornet, and you’ve come by it honest, you can no doubt play a tune on it.”
“why should i play a tune to an amateur, ’alf-baked copper like you?”
“i’ve got you,” said the constable gleefully. “i’ve got you, my lad, on a piece of string. wandering about with no vis’ble means of subsistence; also in possession of property that he is unable to account for. i’ll borrow a dog-cart, and take you off to tonbridge.”
“give it a name, then,” said the boy sulkily.
“‘dreamt i dwelt in marble ’alls,’” suggested the constable.
bobbie played this, and the constable, much delighted, not only gave up all idea of the dog-cart and tonbridge, but asked for another verse.
“what time do you make it?” asked bobbie, wiping his lips.
p. 68he felt hungry; the thought of hot coffee and hot rolls, and broiled ham and eggs, waiting for him at the duchess’s magnificent hotel, made him anxious. the constable lifted a huge watch from his trousers pocket. “wants a quarter to six,” he said.
“’appen to know a place up at brenchley called ‘the happy retreat’?”
“do i not.”
“rather fine hotel, isn’t it? one of the most important places of its kind in the district, eh?”
“of its kind,” said the constable, “yes.”
“do an extr’ordinary business there, don’t they?”
“most extr’ordinary.”
“which road do i take to get to it quickest?” the constable pointed with his stick. “i know the landlord and the landlady, and i want to get there for breakfast.”
“i could see you was well connected,” remarked the constable pleasantly, “by the fit of your coat. give my regards to ’em, and tell ’em from me that ten o’clock’s their time for closing, not ’alf-past.”
“right,” said bobbie.
“give us another verse of ‘dreamt i dwelt,’” begged the constable, “’fore you go.”
the country was already rousing itself, being a country that went to bed early, and able, therefore, to rise betimes. smoke puffed straight out of the chimneys stuck atop of the infrequent cottages; a grateful scent of boiling tea came from the open doors across the gardens of flowers to the roadway. conceited poultry strutted out to the gate and crowed; birds up in the trees whistled and chirruped ceaselessly; rooks flew about near a row of tall poplars trying their voices, voices which seemed rather hoarse and out of practice. at one place by the side of the roadway where the green border was spacious, gipsies in their yellow-painted van were bestirring themselves, and scantily-clothed, brown-skinned children affected to wash at the brook whilst their parents quarrelled loudly. the male parent broke off to call to bobbie, asking him if he wanted a lift to london. bobbie shook his head, and hurried on up the hill. a postman went by on his tricycle, reading the postcards entrusted to him as he went; at the diamond-patterned windows on the top floor of cottages, apple-cheeked, white-shouldered girls were doing their hair, holding a rope of it between their teeth and plaiting the rest. a tramp who had been sleeping in a barn slouched along, picking straws from his deplorable clothes and swearing softly to himself. men in thick, earth-covered boots came out of their houses to go to their work in the fields, and small babies waved hands to them from the protected doorways. bobbie noticed, away from the road, a small, dilapidated house with a vague, unintelligible sign-post, and anxious to arrive at the duchess’s hotel without error, he went to inquire. he pushed open the door; stepped in on the floor of uneven bricks. a lazy smell of stale beer pervaded the low-ceilinged passage; to the right was a room with a dirty table, dirtier by reason of sticky rings made by pots of beer. at the end of the table, smooth spaces caused by practice of the game of shove-halfpenny.
“shop!” called bobbie.
no answer! he went through the passage. it was a beer-house evidently; a few casks stood about and unwashed earthenware mugs lined p. 69the counter. dirt and untidiness everywhere. upstairs he heard a voice crooning, and he listened anxiously, for the song seemed familiar.
“you should see us in our landor when we’re drivin’ in the row,
you should ’ear us chaff the dukes and belted earls.
we’re daughters of nobility—”
“the duchess!” cried the boy.
the song stopped. a window of the room above opened and the duchess’s voice could be heard upbraiding mr. leigh.
“fat lot of good you do pottering about in the garden and pretendin’ you was born and bred in the country. wish to goodness we was back in ely place again.”
mr. leigh begged that the duchess would hold her row and let him get on with his scarlet runners in peace.
“peace?” cried the duchess, scornfully. “there’s a jolly sight too much peace about this dead and alive ’ole. i’m a woman used to a certain amount of seeciety.”
mr. leigh advised her to go downstairs and have a drop of beer and then get back to bed again.
“beer and bed,” complained the duchess with great contempt. “that’s about all there is in this place. i’d rather be bat miller and—”
“for goodness sake,” begged mr. leigh, “’ush.”
“shan’t ’ush,” declared the duchess, preparing to slam the window. “i shall tell everybody why we’re come ’ere and what you—”
mr. leigh, speaking for once with decision, said imperatively, “shut that winder and shut your mouth, or else i’ll come and do both.”
the duchess obeyed, and bobbie stood back as he heard her coming in slippered feet down the stairs. few of us look our best at six o’clock in the morning, and the duchess formed no exception. it was not easy to glance at her without a shudder.
the boy turned and hurried out. he ran swiftly, crying as he went, down the hill to the gipsies’ van.
