events occurred with a rapidity that, in view of their importance, seemed to bobbie frankly indecorous. no sooner had he been placed between parallel iron bars in a police court than he was whisked from the iron bars, on the direction of a magistrate, who had a kindly manner with children; after a brief week at the workhouse, looked after by a burly inmate (known p. 38to colleagues by the satirical name of the slogger), bobbie found himself again carried off swiftly to the court, where, when a number of cases had been heard in which foreign gentlemen and foreign ladies told everything but the truth, bobbie was hurried in and directed to stand by the side of the dock, an order that annoyed him because this was clearly an attempt to treat him as though he were not a grown up and a perfect criminal. in the rooms adjoining the court he had seen bat miller, and bat miller had had opportunity of mentioning that he was the only one who would get put away, and that when he came out it would be his pleasurable duty to see that mrs. bat miller found herself repaid for all her trouble.
scarce had the boy taken up an attitude of “don’t care” at the side of the dock, and scarce had he commenced to prepare a short remark of defiance for the benefit of master ted sullivan, the shooting youth (whom he saw at the back of the court), when he found himself hustled out of the court by the public door; on kicking the gaoler protestingly in leaving, the gaoler boxed his ears, telling him that he would find somebody outside to teach him manners. outside, indeed, was an official from the workhouse, who re-conducted him to the huge building that threw out its wings in various directions at the back of ely place, and there they had no sooner arrived than bobbie, being now the charge and ward of the guardians, found himself added to a party of children made up of six boys and seven girls (nearly all of them younger than himself), who were carried away in charge of the slogger and a grim, silent comrade of the slogger, to a london station that bobbie knew, there to take train for the parish schools which wisdom, looking in some years before at a meeting of the guardians, had suggested. all this rapidity of action made the boy extremely sulky; when the slogger, in workhouse uniform, offered him a few choice flowers of advice culled from the spacious gardens of experience, in the shape of hints on the way of living in the world at the minimum of labour to yourself and the maximum of expense to other people, bobbie growled at the slogger’s well-meant counsel, and would have found the journey away into essex tedious but for the fact that he heard a woman in the next compartment remark that he possessed a bright little face. the compliment saved him from depression, and made him put his cap straight.
arrived at a country station, the small band of thin-faced children marched out into the roadway in charge of the two men. one of the youngest baby girls had just decided the moment to be opportune for wailing, when they happened on a scene that changed the attitude of everybody from the slogger down to the smallest boy in petticoats. the sight being new to bobbie, his interest and delight increased accordingly. the slogger seemed to have exercised enough energy at some period of his life to have obtained certain information, and was in consequence able to give the scene a title.
“a cirkiss!” said the slogger authoritatively.
a circus it was! not one of your cheap affairs, mind, of amateur monkeys and two dogs and a goat, but a real, complete, elaborate, efficient circus, with just now its best artistes out to give to the town bold advertisement of its coming performance that afternoon. four huge lumbering elephants strode along deliberately, men on their backs directing them with the touch of a stick; when an elephant lifted its trunk as though about to play something, the girls in the crowd that lined the village street shouted, “oh—ah!” affrightedly, and stepped back on the toes of people behind p. 39them. came, too, dainty white miniature horses, decorated with trappings and bells, and led by pages in such admirable costumes that it seemed almost a pity the wearers had not bethought themselves of shaving; handsome, proud, capering black horses ridden by sedate matrons in riding habits, who, being applauded by the lookers on, bowed graciously and touched their hats with their whips, but who, on the suggestion being loudly offered by bobbie (now scarlet with excitement) that they should turn a somersault, frowned and looked at the crowd with the air of offended empresses. piebald ponies, brown ponies, chestnut ponies and grey ponies, and, when you were tired of ponies, a gorgeous car with uniformed footmen walking soberly at its side, and high up in this car a lady with a trident and golden helmet and white robes, who gazed straight before her and sniffed a little, and once unfortunately gave a sneeze that sent the golden helmet a little awry, but who, despite these drawbacks (which, of course, were no reflection on her moral worth), looked a very fine and dignified figure of a woman.
“who’s she supposed to be?” asked bobbie.
“britannier,” said the slogger.
“i know what you mean,” said bobbie.
the small girl who had attempted to cry, and now beamed, asked if the lady was related to the britannia, camden town, and found herself for her ignorance derided by the rest of the party.
“course not, you silly young silly,” replied bobbie. “britannia represents the country, and she’s the kind of mother of us all. ain’t she, slogger?”
“but s’pose you ain’t got a muvver?” said the small girl, thinking she had detected a flaw in the argument.
“why, that’s jest where she comes in useful,” declared bobbie. “ain’t it, slogger?”
“in a manner of speaking,” acknowledged the slogger, cautiously, “yes.”
the two camels went by awkwardly, and bobbie told the other children an amazing anecdote concerning them, invented on the spur of the moment; the performing dogs passed with ridiculous frills round their necks and an appealing look in their eyes that begged people not to laugh at them; more horses, with more haughty ladies; at the end of all the crowd fell in and followed the procession to the large canvas tent away on a triangle of spare land. as the party from hoxton continued their march along the road to their destination, they seemed altogether different from those children who had come down. bobbie sang. when they were clear of the town, two long pieces of string were seen far away in the broad dusty road. coming near, the first piece of string proved to be a long procession of scarlet tam o’ shanter capped girls; the second was found to be made up of bright round-faced expectant boys in serviceable suits, chosen in order to evade any appearance of a uniform.
“stop,” said the slogger once more, “and watch.”
“where are they going?” asked bobbie.
“why, to the cirkiss,” answered the slogger. “these are only the best of ’em, though. the others ’ave to stay behind.”
“they’d no business,” said the boy darkly, “to make no distinction.”
“take off your cap to the ladies in charge.”
“not me,” said bobbie.
p. 40“take it off, when i keep telling you,” ordered the slogger anxiously. “you’ll only get me and yourself into a row.”
“only this once, then,” said the boy.
the tam o’ shanter capped little women, as they marched by the new arrivals, seemed much amused at the odd appearance of certain of the new recruits.
“for two pins,” said bobbie threateningly, as he noted this attitude, “i’d punch all their bloomin’ ’eads.”
when the string of boys came the interest appeared more pronounced, and bobbie, too, looked anxiously to see the kind of men with whom he would in future live. he felt bound to confess that they were rather a smart set of youngsters marching along with a swing; good temper (for which the afternoon’s treat was partly responsible) written large on everyone’s face. one boy of the marching detachment, being distant from the two or three teachers who were in charge, asked the slogger satirically whether he would take a bit of slate pencil for the whole fourteen, and the slogger having no reply, bobbie threw a stone that hit the satirical boy on the leg, causing him to cry “wah!” the boys having passed, the small detachment from hoxton marched on again, and presently they saw away at the side of the road a long row of red-tiled houses going into fields and nursery gardens, and giving to the flat country a look of bright importance. the slogger spoke.
“there you are,” said the slogger, pointing. “there’s ’ome sweet ’ome for all you kiddies.”
the slogger pulled a bell at the closed gateway, and on the gate opening obediently, the slogger, with his silent colleague, entered the covered passage at the head of the fourteen youngsters. near the end of the covered passage, a genial uniformed man met them, and saying, “hullo! hullo! hullo!” took from the slogger a blue form, which appeared to be a kind of bill of lading, and checked the goods carefully; then a stout motherly woman bustled out of the house, which was the first, it seemed, of the many red-tiled houses that strolled away into the meadows, and asked, “have you wiped your boots, me dears?” and when they answered in a shy chorus, “yus!” bade them wipe them again, a precaution justified in view of the spotless floors and well-swept passages which they presently found inside. the slogger and his colleague had a glass of beer and some bread and cheese, and then the slogger said “good-bye and good luck!” his silent companion whispered with a mysterious air to bobbie, “long live enarchy!” and they went.
“and now,” said the uniformed gate-keeper, taking off his jacket, “now to bath one or two of you biggest boys. s’phia, pick out yours.”
the wife of the uniformed man selected the girls and three of the tiniest boys, and led them away to a separate bath-room.
“’alf a sec.,” said bobbie, protestingly. “i’ve had a good wash once this week.”
“once isn’t often,” remarked the uniformed man, opening the door of the bath-room. “you’ll find that you’ll not only have to wash regular, but you’ll get a proper bath twice a week, besides learning to swim.”
“it’s carrying a ’obby to an excess,” growled bobby.
“go in!” ordered the man. “we’ll see to you first.”
“that be ’anged for a tale,” remarked the boy, doggedly.
for answer, bobby found himself shot swiftly into the bath-room.
p. 41“you begin to argue,” said the man, not unkindly, “and you’ll get into trouble: you do what you’re told, and you’ll find yourself as right as rain.”
this was the lesson that bobbie at first obstinately declined to learn. the cottage was the probationary cottage where all new comers stayed in quarantine for fourteen days, with every day a visit from the doctor; the restraint and the regularity and the cleanliness and the general order of the place were foes against which bobbie warred fiercely. he would have been more antagonistic at this stage, only that the doorkeeper’s wife was a good, burly soul, with a heart as large as her hand (both were easily moved), and when one day of the fortnight she saw bobbie comforting the small crying girl who had arrived with the detachment, by standing on his head and clapping his heels to a martial rhythm, in order that the child might be induced to change tears for laughter, and when on charging bobbie with being a good boy to thus divert the weeping young lady, he furiously denied the imputation, then the good woman determined that there was good in bobbie, and rewarded him with a special meat pasty that the boy could not, in justice to his appetite, refuse. furtively, too, he made admirable dolls from young turnips which had been brought in with others from the large gardens at the back, and had been cast aside; one of these—a staring damsel, with two peas for eyes, and a broad bean for a nose—so much endeared itself to the heart of the lachrymose little girl that, one evening, in an excess of emotion, she ate it, afterwards crying her little heart out with remorse.
“and now, young lancaster,” said the doorkeeper, looking in the bathroom at the end of a fortnight that seemed about two years, “now you’ll on with your clothes and come along o’ me to collingwood cottage.”
“very near time, too,” said bobbie, rubbing himself with the towel. “i’ve had enough of this blooming bath nonsense.”
“oh, no, you haven’t, my lad.”
“i feel,” grumbled the boy, “as though i never want to wash again. where’s my weskit, boss?”
“where’s your manners?” demanded the doorkeeper sharply.
“i don’t trouble about manners,” said bobbie; “people ’ave to take me as they find me. if they don’t like it, they can jolly well lump it.”
“they’ll lump you if you are not careful,” warned the doorkeeper. “rub your head again with the towel, and look sharp about it.”
“they’ll look silly if they come interferin’ ’long o’ me,” said bobbie, with the towel over his head. “i ain’t like a kid.”
“yes, you are,” said the man sagely. “not only have you got a great deal to learn, but, moreover, you’ve got a great deal to forget. and touching this bath business, that you seem to kick against so, p’raps you’ll be interested to hear that in collingwood you’ll have to wash just as regular as you’ve washed here, and you’ll get your two baths a week without fail.”
“go on!” said the boy, uneasily.
“i’m telling you the truth, my lad. your foster-parents ’ll see to that. your new father works in the carpenter’s shop, and he’s what you may call a hard man.”
“if he comes the hard business with me,” muttered the boy, truculently, “i’ll dam well show him.”
he was presently, after a kiss from the wife, which he received shamefacedly, conducted out into the broad, gravelled roadway dividing the two p. 42rows of red-roofed cottages; stop made at a clematis-covered house which bore its title over the doorway. there his new foster-mother appeared and eyed him critically, looked with great care at his head and eyes, and the hour being in school-time and the cottage therefore without family, she took him over the rooms, showing him with pride the prints from christmas numbers on the walls, the white-floored, white-tabled dining-room, the comfortable sitting-room with its illustrated weekly papers, and the kitchen and scullery, where everything shone so that mirrors would have been a superfluity; afterwards up the broad staircase to the dormitories, each with seven red-counterpaned beds, and a floor that gave promise of some day disappearing entirely under the attacks of scrubbing from two long boys on their knees.
“and some day,” said the foster-mother, generously, “if you grow up a good boy and become a half-timer, you shall be one of the two lads to stay at home and help me with the ’ouse work.”
“no great catch,” remarked bobbie, grimly.
“ah!” said the foster-mother, “you think so now; but you wait.”
“it’s gels’ work, not men’s.”
“we don’t ’ave girls in collingwood,” said his foster-mother.
“good job too.”
“and so i expect my boys to give me all the help about the house that they can, you see. they’ll be back from school and the workshops presently, and then you’ll meet ’em all.”
“that’ll be a treat,” said the boy, satirically. “what’s your name?”
“you’ll call me ‘mother,’ and you’ll call my ’usband ’father.’”
“got some brawsted silly notions down ’ere,” he said.
“use a word like that again, my boy,” said his foster-mother, with severity, “and you’ll ’ave rice instead of meat for dinner.”
“like what?” asked the boy, astonished. the foster-mother spelt the word. “not say brawsted,” echoed bobbie, amazedly. “why, what can you say?”
limitations of speech afflicted bobbie sorely when the thirty boys trooped into collingwood from school and from work, jostling him as they took their places at the dinner-table. he had become so accustomed to the use of expressive words, here tabooed, that it was not easy for him to find effective substitutes. the boys aggravated him, too, by the excellence of their spirits; to look at them and to hear them talk, one would imagine this to be the brightest and cheeriest spot on earth; bobbie made up his mind to correct this want of balance by surly and (when opportunity should offer) aggressive behaviour. he sat at the table gloomily, and when the foster-father, who brought to the dining-room a scent of shavings, rallied him, making a mild joke upon his christian name (affecting to mistake bobbie for a city policeman), the boy declined to join in the laugh, and scowled persistently.
later, at the large school-house over the way, he found himself exposed to another ordeal, one that he decided in his small brain to be nothing more nor less than a studied insult, and this was an examination in spelling, reading, and arithmetic, from which he emerged with a self-abasement equalled by indignation against the young assistant teacher who had had to put questions to him. thanks to the care that he had always taken to evade education offered by the state, he found himself placed in a class at the end of the large school-room amongst boys who were all some years p. 43his junior; found himself, too, failing to jump difficulties which they cleared with comparative ease, and becoming in consequence the recipient of much satire. after a few weeks of consideration, he decided one morning, as he put his head under the shower-tap in the washing-room at collingwood—he had begun to conquer his disinclination for cleanliness—that he would show everybody he was not of the stuff that butts were made; that he would apply himself seriously to the acquirement of knowledge. this fact being made apparent, the young assistant found another target for his shafts of satire, and when one afternoon the question of 7 times 7 minus 9 was put to bobbie, and the class prepared to be exceedingly diverted at bobbie’s answer and was so diverted, not recognizing the fact that his answer proved absolutely correct, then the class had to be admonished for inappropriate hilarity, in terms that made bobbie’s little head swell with content. being advanced to the next of the three classes in the large school-room, he had maps to wrestle with, and felt for a time a grievance against his country because it had possessions in so many quarters of the globe.
late afternoon brought relief in the shape of drill on the large square space at the end of all the cottages and near to meadows; drill conducted by an upright ex-army man in braided uniform, who doubled the parts of a stern disciplinarian of a drill-master, and a genial distributor of goods as a storekeeper. on parade the drill-master was like a commander-in-chief (but less hampered than that official by secretaries of state for war and people); there came exercise with indian clubs to the music of a band of boys in uniform of blue with scarlet facings, so that at a distance you might think they belonged to the service, and who were sometimes so proud of their ability that they could scarcely play the brass instruments; real military drill with small wooden rifles, and once the awkwardness of the first few drillings passed, and once you became used to the drillmaster’s voice, it was capital sport, because you had only to give imagination rein and you were a grown-up lifeguardsman with an admirable chest, chin well up, six feet two inches in your boots, and all the ladies who lived downstairs in west end houses hard at work worshipping you. later, at five o’clock (the time being late autumn), you met the drill-sergeant again in the gymnasium, which was the swimming bath boarded over, and there you had the rarest games with parallel bars and the vaulting horse and horizontal bars, and goodness alone knew what. when all this had gone on for a few months bobbie found to his great satisfaction that in stretching out his right arm and then bringing his fist back towards the shoulder there appeared above the elbow a distinct, palpable, unmistakable, not to be denied, sign of thick muscle. saying his prayers that night on the reminder of the monitor of his room, he omitted the formula that he had been obliged to learn, and substituted special thanks for this development, asking that he might become a strong man, so that he could knock anybody down whenever that act should appear appropriate and desirable.
thus robert lancaster grew.
