mr. rosenbaum tells the boys more of his adventures.
mr. rosenbaum became a frequent visitor to the hoosier's rest, and generally greatly interested si and shorty with his stories of adventure.
"how did you happen to come into the army of the cumberland?" asked si. "i'd a-thought you'd staid where you knowed the country and the people."
"that was just the trouble," replied rosenbaum. "i got to know them very well, but they got to know me a confounded sight better. when i was in the clothing pizniss in st. louis i tried to have everybody know me. i advertised. i wanted to be a great big sunflower that everybody noticed. but when i got to be a spy i wanted to be a modest little violet that hid under the leaves, unt nobody saw. then every man what knew me become a danger, unt it got so that i shuddered every time that i see a limb running out from a tree, for i didn't know how soon i might be hung from it. i had some awful narrow escapes, i tell you.
"but what decided me to leave the country unt skip over de mississippi river was something that happened down in the boston mountains just before the battle of pea ridge. i was down there watching van dorn unt ben mccullough for general curtis, unt54 was getting along all right. i was still playing the old racket about buying up mexican silver dollars to buy ammunition. one night i was sitting at a campfire with two or three others, when a crowd of texans come up. they was just drunk enough to be devilish, unt had a rope with a noose on the end, which i noticed first thing. i had begun to keep a sharp lookout for such things. my flesh creeped when i saw them. i tried to think what had stirred them up all at once, but couldn't for my life recollect, for everything had been going on all right for several days. the man with the rope—a big, ugly brute, with red hair unt one eye—says:
"'you're a jew, ain't you?'
"'yes,' says i; 'i was born that way.'
"'well,' says he, 'we're going to hang you right off.' unt he put the noose around my neck unt began trying to throw the other end over a limb."
close call for rosenbaum. 54
"'what for?' i yelled, trying to pull the rope off my neck. 'i ain't done nothing.'
"'hain't eh?' said the man with one eye. 'you hook-nosed jews crucified our savior.'
"'why, you red-headed fool,' said i, catching hold of the rope with both hands, 'that happened more as 1,800 years ago. let me go.'
"'i don't care if it did,' said the one-eyed man, getting the end of the rope over the limb, 'we didn't hear about it till the chaplain told us this morning, unt then the boys said we'd kill every jew we come across. catch hold of the end here, bowers.'
"the other fellers around me laughed at the texans so that they finally agreed to let me go if i'd promise not to do it again, holler for jeff davis, unt treat all around. it was a fool thing, but it scared me worse'n anything else, unt i resolved to get out of there unt go where the people read their bibles unt the newspapers."
"how did you manage to keep gen. curtis posted as to the number of rebels in front of him?" asked si. "you couldn't always be running back and forth from one army to the other."
"o, that was easy enough. you see. general56 curtis was advancing, unt the rebels falling back most of the time. there was cabins every little ways along the road. all these have great big fireplaces, built of smooth rocks, which they pick up out of the creek unt wherever they can find them.
"i'd go into these houses unt talk with the people unt play with the children. i'd sit by the fire unt pick up a dead coal unt mark on these smooth rocks. sometimes i'd draw horses unt wagons unt men to amuse the children. sometimes i'd talk to the old folks about how long they'd been in the country, how many bears unt deers the man had killed, how far it was to the next place, how the roads run, unt so on, unt i'd make marks on the jam of the fireplace to help me understand.
"the next day our scouts would come in unt see the marks unt understand them just as well as if i'd wrote them a letter. i fixed it all up with them before i left camp. i kin draw very well with a piece of charcoal. i'd make pictures of men what would make the children unt old folks open their eyes. our scouts would understand which one meant ben mccullough, which one van dorn, which one pap price, unt so on. other marks would show which way each one was going unt how many men he hat with him. the rebels never dropt on to it, but they came so close to it once or twice that my hair stood on end."
"that curly mop of yours'd have a time standing on end," ventured shorty. "i should think it'd twist your neck off tryin' to."
"well, something gave me a queer feeling about the throat one day when i saw a rebel colonel stop57 unt look very hard at a long letter which i'd wrote this way on a rock.
"'who done that?' he asked.
"'this man here,' says the old woman, 'he done it while he was gassing with the old man unt fooling with the children. lot o' pesky nonsense, marking up de walls dat a-way.'
"'looks like very systematic nonsense,' said the colonel very stern unt sour. 'there may be something in it. did you do this?' said he, turning to me.
"'yes, sir,' said i, 'i have a bad habit of marking when i'm talking. i always done it, even when i was a child. my mother used to often slap me for spoiling the walls, but she could never break me of it.'
"'humph,' said he, not at all satisfied with my story, unt looking at the scratches harder than ever. 'who are you, unt what are you doing here?'
"i told him my story about buying mexican silver dollars, unt showed him a lot of the dollars i'd bought.
"'your story ain't reasonable,' said he. 'you haven't done bizniss enough to pay you for all the time you've spent around the army. i'll put you under guard till i can look into your case.'
"he called to the sergeant of the guard, unt ordered him to take charge of me. the sergeant was that same dirty loafer. bob smiles, that i had the trouble with by wilson's creek. he kicked me unt pounded me, unt put me on my horse, with my hands tied behind me, unt my feet tied under the horse's belly. i was almost dead by night, when we reached headquarters. they gave me something to58 eat, unt i laid down on the floor of the cabin, wishing i was pontius pilate, so that i could crucify every man in the southern confedrisy, especially bob smiles. an hour or two later i heard bob smiles swearing again."
the spy in custody. 58
"'make out the names of all the prisoners i have,' he was saying, 'with where they belong unt the charges against them. i can't. do they take me for a counter-jumping clerk? i didn't come into the army to be a white-faced bookkeeper, i sprained59 my thumb the other day, unt i can't write even a httle bit. what am i to do?'
"that was all moonshine about his spraining his thumb. he vas ignorant as a jackass. if he had 40 thumbs he couldn't write even his own name so's anybody could read it.
"'i don't believe these's a man in a mile of here that can make out such a list,' he went on. they're all a set of hominy-eating blockheads. perhaps that hook-nosed jew might. he's the man. i'll make him do it, or break his swindling head.'
"he come in, kicked me, unt made me get up, unt then took me out unt set me down at a table, where he had paper, pen unt ink, unt ordered me to take down the names of the prisoners as he brought them up. he'd look over my shoulder as i wrote, as if he was reading what i set down, but i knowed that he couldn't make out a letter. i was tempted to write all sorts of things about him, but i didn't, for i was in enough trouble already. when i come to my own name, he said:
"'make de charge a spy, a thief, unt a dutch traitor to the southern confedrisy.'
"i just wrote: 'levi rosenbaum, memphis, tenn. merchant. no charge.'
"he scowled very wisely at it, unt pretended to read it, unt said:
"'it's lucky for you that you wrote it just as i told you. i'd 'a' broke every bone in your body if you hadn't.'
"i'd just got done when an officer come down from headquarters for it. he looked it over unt said:
"'who made this out?'
"'why, i made it out,' said bob smiles, bold as brass.
"'but who wrote it?" said de officer.
"'o, i sprained my thumb, so i couldn't write very well, unt i made a jew prisoner copy it,' said bob smiles.
"'it's the best writing i have seen,' said the officer. 'i want the man what wrote it to go with me to headquarters at once. i have some copying there to be done at once, unt not one of them corn-crackers that i have up there can write anything fit to read. bring that man out here unt i will take him with me."
"bob smiles hated to let me go, but he couldn't help himself, unt i went with the officer. i was so tired i could hardly move a step, unt i felt i could not write a word. but i seemed to see a chance at headquarters, unt i determined to make every effort to do something. they gave me a stiff horn of whisky unt set me to work. they wanted me to make out unt copy a consolidated report of the army.
"i almost forgot i was tired when i found out what they wanted, for i saw a chance to get something of great value. they'd been trying to make up a report from all sorts of scraps unt sheets of paper sent in from the different headquarters, unt they had spoiled a half-dozen big sheets of paper after they'd got them partly done. if i do say it myself, i can write better and faster and figure quicker than most any man you ever saw. those rebels thought they had got hold of a wonder—a61 lightning calculator unt lightning penman together.
"as fast as i could copy one paper, unt it would prove to be all right, i would fold it up unt stick it into a big yaller envelope. i also folded up the spoiled reports, unt stuck them in the envelope, saying that i wanted to get rid of them—put them where seeing them wouldn't bother me. i carefully slipped the envelope under the edge of a pile of papers near the edge of the table. i had another big yaller envelope that looked just like it lying in the middle of the table, into which i stuck papers that didn't amount to nothing. i was very slick about it, unt didn't let them see that i had two envelopes.
"it was past midnight when i got the consolidated report made out, unt the rebels was tickled to death with it. they'd never seen anything so well done before. they wanted a copy made to keep, unt i said i'd make one, though i was nearly dead for sleep. i really wasn't, for the excitement made me forget all about being tired.
"i was determined, before i slept, to have that yellow envelope, with all those papers, in general curtis's hands, though he was 40 miles away. how in the world i was going to do it i could not think, but i was going to do it, if i died a trying. the first thing was to get that envelope off the table into my clothes; the next, to get out of that cabin, away from bob smiles unt his guards, through the rebel lines, unt over the mountains to general curtis's camp. it was a dark, windy night, unt things were in confusion about the camp—just the kind of a time when62 anybody might kill a jew pedler, unt no questions would be asked.
"i had got the last copy finished, unt the officers was going over it. they had their heads together, not 18 inches from me, across the table. i had my fingers on the envelope, but i didn't dare slip it out, though my fingers itched. i was in hopes that they'd turn around, or do something that'd give me a chance.
"suddenly bob smiles opened the door wide, unt walked in, with a dispatch in his hand. the wind swept in, blew the candles out, unt sent de papers flying about the room. some went into the fire. the officers yelled unt swore at him, unt he shut the door, but i had the envelope in my breast-pocket.
"then to get away. how in the name of moses unt the ten commandments was i to do that?
"one of the officers said to bob smiles: 'take this man away unt take good care of him until to-morrow. we'll want him again. give him a good bed, unt plenty to eat, unt treat him well. we'll need him to-morrow.'
"'come on, you pork-hating jew,' said bob smiles crabbedly. 'i'll give you a mess of spare-ribs unt corn-dodgers for supper.'
"'you'll do nothing of the kind,' said the officer. 'i told you to treat him well, unt if you don't treat him well, i'll see about it. give him a bed in that house where de orderlies stay.'
"bob smiles grumbled unt swore at me, unt we vent out, but there was nothing to do but to obey orders. he give me a good place, unt some coffee unt bread, unt i lay down pretending to go to sleep.63
"i snored away like a good feller, unt presently i heard some one come in. i looked a little out the corner of my eye, unt see by the light of the fire that bob smiles was sneaking back. he watched me for a minute, unt then put his hand on me.
"i was scared as i never was, for i thought he vas after my precious yaller envelope. but i thought of my bowie knife, which i always carried out of sight in my bosom, unt resolved dat i vould stick it in his heart, if he tried to take away my papers. but i never moved. he felt over me until he come to de pocket where i had the silver dollars, unt then slipped his fingers in, unt pulled them out one by one, just as gently as if he vas smoothing the hair of a cat. i let him take them all, without moving a muscle. i was glad to haf him take them. i knowed that he was playing poker somewhere, unt had run out of cash, unt would take my money unt go back to his game.
"as soon as i heard his footsteps disappear in the distance, i got up unt sneaked down to where the headquarters horses were tied. i must get a fresh one, because my own vas played nearly out. he would never do to carry me over the rough roads i must ride before morning. but when i got there i saw a guard pacing up unt down in front of them. i had not counted on this, unt for a minit my heart stood still. there were no other horses anywheres around.
"i hesitated, looked up at headquarters, unt saw de lights still burning, unt made up my mind at once to risk everything on one desperate chance. i remembered that i had put in my envelope some64 blank sheets of paper, with headquarters, army of the frontier,' unt a rebel flag on dem. there was a big fire burning ofer to the right mit no one near. i went up in de shadow of a tree, where i could see by the firelight, took out one of the sheets of paper unt wrote on it an order to have a horse saddled for me at once. then i slipped back so that it would look as if i was coming straight from headquarters, unt walked up to the guard unt handed him the order. he couldn't read a word, but he recognized the heading on the paper, unt i told him the rest. he thought there was nothing for him to do but obey.
"while he was getting the horse i wrote out, by the fire, a pass for myself through the guards. i was in a hurry, you bet, unt it was all done mighty quick, unt i was on the horse's back unt started. i had lost all direction, but i knowed that i had to go generally to the northeast to get to general curtis. but i got confused again, unt found i was riding around unt around the camp without getting out at all. i even come up again near the big fire, just where i wrote out the pass.
"just then what should i hear but bob smiles's voice. he had lost all his money—all my money—at poker, unt was damning the fellers he had been playing with as cheats. he was not in a temper to meet, unt i knowed he would see me if i went by the big fire; but i was desperate, unt i stuck the spurs into my horse unt he shot ahead. i heard bob smiles yell:
"'there is that jew. where is he going? halt, there! stop him!'65
"i knowed that if i stopped now i would be hung sure. the only safety was to go as fast as i could. i dashed away, where, i didn't know. directly a guard halted me, but i showed him my pass, unt he let me go on. while he was looking at it i strained my ears, unt could hear horses galloping my way. i knowed it was bob smiles after me. my horse was a good one, unt i determined to get on the main road unt go as fast as i could. i could see by the campfires that i was now getting away from the army, unt i began to hope that i was going north. i kept my horse running.
"pretty soon the pickets halted me, but i didn't stop to answer them. i just bolted ahead. the chances of their shooting me wasn't as dreadful as of bob smiles catching me. they fired at me, but i galloped right through them, unt through a rain of bullets that they sent after me. i felt better then, for i was confident i was out in the open country, but i kept my horse on the run. it seemed to me that i went a hundred miles.
"just as the day was breaking in the east, i heard a voice, with a strong german accent call out the brush:
"'halt! who comes there?'
rosenbaum runs into sigel's pickets. 66
"i was so glad that i almost fainted, for i knowed that i'd reached general sigel's pickets. i couldn't get my lips to answer.
"there came a lot of shots, unt one of them struck my horse in the head, unt he fell in the road, throwing me over his head. the pickets run out unt picked me up. the german language sounded the sweetest i ever heard it.66
"as soon as i could make myself talk, i answered them in german, unt told them who i was. then they couldn't do enough for me. they helped me back to where they could get an ambulance, in which they sent me to headquarters, for i was top weak to ride or walk a step. i handed my yellow envelope to general curtis, got a dram of whisky to keep me up while i answered his questions, unt then went to67 sleep, unt slept through the whole battle of pea ridge.
"after the battle, general curtis wanted to know how much he ought to pay me, but i told him that all i wanted was to serve the country, unt i was already paid many times over, by helping him win a victory.
"but i concluded that there was too much bob smiles in that country for me, unt i had better leave for some parts where i was not likely to meet him. so i crossed the mississippi river, unt joined general rosecrans's headquarters."
