even with modern conveniences, caesar could never have staged such a triumph, and in the face of world history-making, he wouldn't have reason to. olbu's visit to the earth was certainly a bigger deal for the archives than anything caesar ever did.
"no one can say you aren't a good sport," commended ralph rodkey of the interstate broadcasting network. "you had plenty of reason to be annoyed, especially when the mob tried to tear your clothes off. but, the people meant no harm; they just adore you."
olbu had learned english overnight and mastered it. he hardly had an accent: "i was a little disturbed, you might say."
"well, our people are hero worshippers," rodkey explained. "and you're certainly a hero, being the first man from off the earth to land on the earth, you might say. and then too, given an opportunity to celebrate, an earthman will take full advantage of the slightest excuse."
"rather barbaric," said olbu. "but then this is a barbaric planet."
"uh? oh, yes. just joking, of course. now we're about ready for our telecast with cecil burroughs, the greatest commentator in the business. you'll appear with one of our leading scientists."
"i hope he can understand the things i shall talk about."
"we may not know much about space flight, but we know a lot of things, my boy," said rodkey.
"you say you don't travel in space as yet?"
"no, and you're the first visitor from space we've had. you see, no planets of this solar system are inhabited by intelligent forms of life."
"you can say that again," said olbu.
"with the exception of the earth, of course." rodkey laughed. "we were very thrilled to have someone drop in on us."
"how strange!"
"in fact, many of our people figured that man was unique. they thought he couldn't exist anywhere but here."
"it would be nice if such were the case," said olbu. "but i'm afraid the galaxy is not so fortunate. many planets have men. some are more like men than others, if you understand what i mean. but they all have his chief faults and good points."
rodkey had arranged for the interview in the presidential suite of the claremont hotel and in the next room electricians were busy setting up the equipment. presently the door opened and a man of about 50, clean shaven and slightly bald, paused in the doorway. he looked at the confusion for a moment, hesitated as if he were checking an impulse to flee, then spotted rodkey through the bedroom door.
"dr. bruber!" exclaimed rodkey.
dr. alymir bruber beamed, extended his hand and strode forward.
he tripped over a cable, but caught himself on the doorframe with nothing worse than a bumped shoulder.
rodkey pumped his hand enthusiastically. "it's been a long time, doctor!" he said, slapping him on the shoulder. "remember, we met when i interviewed you on the nervous electron factor of your diatomic equivalent energy principle back in '96."
"oh," said bruber. "yes, i remember you well." he turned his head toward olbu. one glance would have convinced anyone that olbu was from space—or at least another planet. he had an unusually large head, small neck, skinny arms and legs and a pot belly. everyone knows that people from other planets have all of these things. the only thing wrong with olbu was that his eyes were just like anyone's eyes, a little slanted, perhaps, but not more so than the average oriental, and of course olbu had no feelers extending from his forehead. but those things weren't absolutely necessary in a man who looked the part, as olbu did.
"this must be our visitor!" once more dr. bruber extended his hand and this time he tripped over the rug, but rodkey was handy to catch him.
"my glasses," explained dr. bruber. "they're only bifocals, and i have trouble adjusting to middle distances."
"olbu," said rodkey, "allow me to present dr. bruber, the world's greatest living scientist."
dr. bruber laughed nervously and shook hands with olbu. "i'm afraid mr. rodkey is being extravagant. actually i'm not the greatest. only the greatest in my field. i'm second greatest in three others though."
"dr. bruber is too modest," said rodkey. "there's practically nothing that he doesn't know."
"no one knows nothing," said olbu.
dr. bruber blinked as he tried to figure that one out. it doubtless hinged on a lingual difference to start with and so he gave up.
"well, gentlemen," said rodkey, "our broadcast will start in thirty minutes. perhaps we can go over briefly what topics we should talk upon. you know we don't want to get into anything too deep for our viewers to understand, yet we don't want to be too trivial, you know. give them something interesting, i always say. then if we have any time left, we might touch on some topics that go a little beyond that."
"did you have a nice trip?" asked dr. bruber.
"it was beastly," said olbu. "thirty-two light years of space and not even an interesting meteor."
"we're on the verge of making an interplanetary flight here on earth," dr. bruber said. "the trouble is, no one that wants a flight has any money and those that have the money don't care about space flight."
"you're probably better off all around," said olbu.
"come now, gentlemen," said rodkey. "we can do better than that. you can cut loose with a few scientific terms now and then. it gives the interview an authentic flavor. ask olbu his opinion of the quantum jump, dr. bruber."
dr. bruber turned toward the director and blinked through his heavy glasses. "i'd rather ask our distinguished visitor why he came."
"yes, dr. bruber. please do," said olbu.
"all right. why did you come here?"
"we wanted to decide whether to wipe out the solar system or not."
