"you'd better ask the old traffords down here for a few weeks. hampstead won't shoot, but he can hunt with the braeside harriers."
this was the answer made by lord persiflage to his wife when he was told by her of that divorce which had taken place at trafford park, and of the departure of lady frances for hendon. hampstead and lady frances were the old traffords. lord persiflage, too, was a conservative, but his politics were of a very different order from those entertained by his sister-in-law. he was, above all, a man of the world. he had been our ambassador at st. petersburg, and was now a member of the cabinet. he liked the good things of office, but had no idea of quarrelling with a radical because he was a radical. he cared very little as to the opinions of his guests, if they could make themselves either pleasant or useful. he looked upon his sister-in-law as an old fool, and had no idea of quarrelling with hampstead for her sake. if the girl persisted in making a bad match she must take the consequences. no great harm would come,—except to her. as to the evil done to his "order," that did not affect lord persiflage at all. he did not expect his order to endure for ever. all orders become worn out in time, and effete. he had no abhorrence for anybody; but he liked pleasant people; he liked to treat everything as a joke; and he liked the labours of his not unlaborious life to be minimised. having given his orders about the old traffords, as he called them in reference to the "darlings," he said nothing more on the subject. lady persiflage wrote a note to "dear fanny," conveying the invitation in three words, and received a reply to the effect that she and her brother would be at castle hautboy before the end of november. hampstead would perhaps bring a couple of horses, but he would put them up at the livery stables at penrith.
"how do you do, hampstead," said persiflage when he first met his guest before dinner on the day of the arrival. "you haven't got rid of everything yet?"
this question was supposed to refer to lord hampstead's revolutionary tendencies. "not quite so thoroughly as we hope to do soon."
"i always think it a great comfort that in our country the blackguards are so considerate. i must own that we do very little for them, and yet they never knock us over the head or shoot at us, as they do in russia and germany and france." then he passed on, having said quite enough for one conversation.
"so you've gone off to hendon to live with your brother?" said lady persiflage to her niece.
"yes; indeed," said lady fanny, blushing at the implied allusion to her low-born lover which was contained in this question.
but lady persiflage had no idea of saying a word about the lover, or of making herself in any way unpleasant. "i dare say it will be very comfortable for you both," she said; "but we thought you might be a little lonely till you got used to it, and therefore asked you to come down for a week or two. the house is full of people, and you will be sure to find some one that you know." not a word was said at castle hautboy as to those terrible things which had occurred in the trafford family.
young vivian was there, half, as he said, for ornament, but partly for pleasure and partly for business. "he likes to have a private secretary with him," he said to hampstead, "in order that people might think there is something to do. as a rule they never send anything down from the foreign office at this time of year. he always has a foreign minister or two in the house, or a few secretaries of legation, and that gives an air of business. nothing would offend or surprise him so much as if one of them were to say a word about affairs. nobody ever does, and therefore he is supposed to be the safest foreign minister that we've had in downing street since old ——'s time."
"well, hautboy." "well, hampstead." thus the two heirs greeted each other. "you'll come and shoot to-morrow?" asked the young host.
"i never shoot. i thought all the world knew that."
"the best cock-shooting in all england," said hautboy. "but we shan't come to that for the next month."
"cocks or hens, pheasants, grouse, or partridge, rabbits or hares, it's all one to me. i couldn't hit 'em if i would, and i wouldn't if i could."
"there is a great deal in the couldn't," said hautboy. "as for hunting, those braeside fellows go out two or three times a week. but it's a wretched sort of affair. they hunt hares or foxes just as they come, and they're always climbing up a ravine or tumbling down a precipice."
"i can climb and tumble as well as any one," said hampstead. so that question as to the future amusement of the guest was settled.
but the glory of the house of hauteville,—hauteville was the earl's family name,—at present shone most brightly in the person of the eldest daughter, lady amaldina. lady amaldina, who was as beautiful in colour, shape, and proportion as wax could make a venus, was engaged to marry the eldest son of the duke of merioneth. the marquis of llwddythlw was a young man about forty years of age, of great promise, who had never been known to do a foolish thing in his life, and his father was one of those half-dozen happy noblemen, each of whom is ordinarily reported to be the richest man in england. lady amaldina was not unnaturally proud of her high destiny, and as the alliance had already been advertised in all the newspapers, she was not unwilling to talk about it. lady frances was not exactly a cousin, but stood in the place of a cousin, and therefore was regarded as a good listener for all the details which had to be repeated. it might be that lady amaldina took special joy in having such a listener, because lady frances herself had placed her own hopes so low. that story as to the post office clerk was known to everybody at castle hautboy. lady persiflage ridiculed the idea of keeping such things secret. having so much to be proud of in regard to her own children, she thought that there should be no such secrets. if fanny trafford did intend to marry the post office clerk it would be better that all the world should know it beforehand. lady amaldina knew it, and was delighted at having a confidante whose views and prospects in life were so different from her own. "of course, dear, you have heard what is going to happen to me," she said, smiling.
"i have heard of your engagement with the son of the duke of merioneth, the man with the terrible welsh name."
"when you once know how to pronounce it it is the prettiest word that poetry ever produced!" then lady amaldina did pronounce her future name;—but nothing serviceable would be done for the reader if an attempt were made to write the sound which she produced. "i am not sure but what it was the name which first won my heart. i can sign it now quite easily without a mistake."
"it won't be long, i suppose, before you will have to do so always?"
"an age, my dear! the duke's affairs are of such a nature,—and llwddythlw is so constantly engaged in business, that i don't suppose it will take place for the next ten years. what with settlements, and entails, and parliament, and the rest of it, i shall be an old woman before i am,—led to the hymeneal altar."
"ten years!" said lady fanny.
"well, say ten months, which seems to be just as long."
"isn't he in a hurry?"
"oh, awfully; but what can he do, poor fellow? he is so placed that he cannot have his affairs arranged for him in half-an-hour, as other men can do. it is a great trouble having estates so large and interests so complicated! now there is one thing i particularly want to ask you."
"what is it?"
"about being one of the bridesmaids."
"one can hardly answer for ten years hence."
"that is nonsense, of course. i am determined to have no girl who has not a title. it isn't that i care about that kind of thing in the least, but the duke does. and then i think the list will sound more distinguished in the newspapers, if all the christian names are given with the lady before them. there are to be his three sisters, lady anne, lady antoinette, and lady anatolia;—then my two sisters, lady alphonsa and lady amelia. to be sure they are very young."
"they may be old enough according to what you say."
"yes, indeed. and then there will be lady arabella portroyal, and lady augusta gelashires. i have got the list written out somewhere, and there are to be just twenty."
"if the catalogue is finished there will hardly be room for me."
"the earl of knocknacoppul's daughter has sent me word that she must refuse, because her own marriage will take place first. she would have put it off, as she is only going to marry an irish baronet, and because she is dying to have her name down as one of the bevy, but he says that if she delays any longer he'll go on a shooting expedition to the rocky mountains, and then perhaps he might never come back. so there is a vacancy."
"i hardly like to make a promise so long beforehand. perhaps i might have a young man, and he might go off to the rocky mountains."
"that's just what made me not put down your name at first. of course you know we've heard about mr. roden?"
"i didn't know," said lady frances, blushing.
"oh dear, yes. everybody knows it. and i think it such a brave thing to do,—if you're really attached to him!"
"i should never marry any man without being attached to him," said lady frances.
"that's of course! but i mean romantically attached. i don't pretend to that kind of thing with llwddythlw. i don't think it necessary in a marriage of this kind. he is a great deal older than i am, and is bald. i suppose mr. roden is very, very handsome?"
"i have not thought much about that."
"i should have considered that one would want it for a marriage of that kind. i don't know whether after all it isn't the best thing to do. romance is so delicious!"
"but then it's delicious to be a duchess," said lady frances, with the slightest touch of irony.
"oh, no doubt! one has to look at it all round, and then to form a judgment. it went a great way with papa, i know, llwddythlw being such a good man of business. he has been in the household, and the queen will be sure to send a handsome present. i expect to have the grandest show of wedding presents that any girl has yet exhibited in england. ever so many people have asked mamma already as to what i should like best. mr. macwhapple said out plain that he would go to a hundred and fifty pounds. he is a scotch manufacturer, and has papa's interest in wigtonshire. i suppose you don't intend to do anything very grand in that way."
"i suppose not, as i don't know any scotch manufacturers. but my marriage, if i ever am married, is a thing so much of the future that i haven't even begun to think of my dress yet."
"i'll tell you a secret," said lady amaldina, whispering. "mine is already made, and i've tried it on."
"you might get ever so much stouter in ten years," said lady frances.
"that of course was joking. but we did think the marriage would come off last june, and as we were in paris in april the order was given. don't you tell anybody about that."
then it was settled that the name of lady frances should be put down on the list of bridesmaids, but put down in a doubtful manner,—as is done with other things of great importance.
a few days after lord hampstead's arrival a very great dinner-party was given at the castle, at which all the county round was invited. castle hautboy is situated near pooly bridge, just in the county of westmoreland, on an eminence, giving it a grand prospect over ulleswater, which is generally considered to be one of the cumberland lakes. therefore the gentry from the two counties were invited as far round as penrith, shap, bampton, and patterdale. the earl's property in that neighbourhood was scattered about through the two counties, and was looked after by a steward, or manager, who lived himself at penrith, and was supposed to be very efficacious in such duties. his name was crocker; and not only was he invited to the dinner, but also his son, who happened at the time to be enjoying the month's holiday which was allowed to him by the authorities of the office in london to which he was attached.
the reader may remember that a smart young man of this name sat at the same desk with george roden at the general post office. young crocker was specially delighted with the honour done him on this occasion. he not only knew that his fellow clerk's friend, lord hampstead, was at the castle, and his sister, lady frances, with him; but he also knew that george roden was engaged to marry that noble lady! had he heard this before he left london, he would probably have endeavoured to make some atonement for his insolence to roden; for he was in truth filled with a strong admiration for the man who had before him the possibility of such high prospects. but the news had only reached him since he had been in the north. now he thought that he might possibly find an opportunity of making known to lord hampstead his intimacy with roden, and of possibly saying a word—just uttering a hint—as to that future event.
it was long before he could find himself near enough to lord hampstead to address him. he had even refused to return home with his father, who did not like being very late on the road, saying that he had got a lift into town in another conveyance. this he did, with the prospect of having to walk six miles into penrith in his dress boots, solely with the object of saying a few words to roden's friend. at last he was successful.
"we have had what i call an extremely pleasant evening, my lord." it was thus he commenced; and hampstead, whose practice it was to be specially graceful to any one whom he chanced to meet but did not think to be a gentleman, replied very courteously that the evening had been pleasant.
"quite a thing to remember," continued crocker.
"perhaps one remembers the unpleasant things the longest," said hampstead, laughing.
"oh, no, my lord, not that. i always forget the unpleasant. that's what i call philosophy." then he broke away into the subject that was near his heart. "i wish our friend roden had been here, my lord."
"is he a friend of yours?"
"oh dear, yes;—most intimate. we sit in the same room at the post office. and at the same desk,—as thick as thieves, as the saying is. we often have a crack about your lordship."
"i have a great esteem for george roden. he and i are really friends. i know no one for whom i have a higher regard." this he said with an earnest voice, thinking himself bound to express his friendship more loudly than he would have done had the friend been in his own rank of life.
"that's just what i feel. roden is a man that will rise."
"i hope so."
"he'll be sure to get something good before long. they'll make him a surveyor, or chief clerk, or something of that kind. i'll back him to have ￡500 a year before any man in the office. there'll be a shindy about it, of course. there always is a shindy when a fellow is put up out of his turn. but he needn't care for that. they can laugh as win. eh, my lord!"
"he would be the last to wish an injustice to be done for his own good."
"we've got to take that as it comes, my lord. i won't say but what i should like to go up at once to a senior class over other men's heads. there isn't a chance of that, because i'm independent, and the seniors don't like me. old jerningham is always down upon me just for that reason. you ask roden, and he'll tell you the same thing,—my lord." then came a momentary break in the conversation, and lord hampstead was seizing advantage of it to escape. but crocker, who had taken enough wine to be bold, saw the attempt, and intercepted it. he was desirous of letting the lord know all that he knew. "roden is a happy dog, my lord."
"happy, i hope, though not a dog," said hampstead, trusting that he could retreat gracefully behind the joke.
"ha, ha, ha! the dog only meant what a lucky fellow he is. i have heard him speak in raptures of what is in store for him."
"what!"
"there's no happiness like married happiness; is there, my lord?"
"upon my word, i can't say. good night to you."
"i hope you will come and see me and roden at the office some of these days."
"good night, good night!" then the man did go. for a moment or two lord hampstead felt actually angry with his friend. could it be that roden should make so little of his sister's name as to talk about her to the post office clerks,—to so mean a fellow as this! and yet the man certainly knew the fact of the existing engagement. hampstead thought it impossible that it should have travelled beyond the limits of his own family. it was natural that roden should have told his mother; but unnatural,—so hampstead thought,—that his friend should have made his sister a subject of conversation to any one else. it was horrible to him that a stranger such as that should have spoken to him about his sister at all. but surely it was not possible that roden should have sinned after that fashion. he soon resolved that it was not possible. but how grievous a thing it was that a girl's name should be made so common in the mouths of men!
after that he sauntered into the smoking-room, where were congregated the young men who were staying in the house. "that's a kind of thing that happens only once a year," said hautboy, speaking to all the party; "but i cannot, for the life of me, see why it should happen at all."
"your governor finds that it succeeds in the county," said one.
"he polishes off a whole heap at one go," said another.
"it does help to keep a party together," said a third.
"and enables a lot of people to talk of dining at castle hautboy without lying," said a fourth.
"but why should a lot of people be enabled to say that they'd dined here?" asked hautboy. "i like to see my friends at dinner. what did you think about it, hampstead?"
"it's all according to hampstead's theories," said one.
"only he'd have had the tinkers and the tailors too," said another.
"and wouldn't have had the ladies and gentlemen," said a third.
"i would have had the tailors and tinkers," said hampstead, "and i would have had the ladies and gentlemen, too, if i could have got them to meet the tailors and tinkers;—but i would not have had that young man who got me out into the hall just now."
"why,—that was crocker, the post office clerk," said hautboy. "why shouldn't we have a post office clerk as well as some one else? nevertheless, crocker is a sad cad." in the mean time crocker was walking home to penrith in his dress boots.
