when the original object-love, at first directed to the the more advanced stages of love displacement parent, has been successfully transferred to some more remote relative in the manner studied in the last chapter, the course of normal development now requires that a further transference should take place by means of a similarity or association of some kind between this latter relative and some other person totally unconnected by family relationship. in consequence it is often possible to trace in the selection of the object of love the influence of similarity, or of some other connecting link, between this object and the lover's sister, brother, cousin or other relative. here, however, the emancipation from the original object is carried too far for the underlying motive determining the direction of affection to be regarded as in any sense pathological or abnormal or as indicating an undue degree of fixation at an infantile stage of development; except in cases where this motive is so strong as to bring about the direction of love upon an object which is totally unsuitable, through the overlooking of defects which would otherwise be patent. rather is this act of transference, when free from any such exaggeration, to be looked upon as the final stage of the whole process of development we have been following and as an indication of the attainment of maturity as regards the direction of the love impulse.
the importance of the displacement here at work will be "falling in love" more readily grasped, if we bear in mind that it constitutes one of the principal factors in the normal and all-important process of "falling in love," and particularly of that most[103] striking but at the same time most mystifying aspect of that process which we call "love at first sight." love and its causes have ever raised the wonder and curiosity both of the plain man and of the philosopher, but, apart from more or less unsatisfactory theory and vague speculation, neither has been able to bring forward any explanation of the sudden over-powering attraction which a young man or woman, boy or girl, may feel for some one member of the opposite sex; one whose charms may appear to more unbiassed eyes to be but little if at all superior to those of others of the loved one's age and situation. thanks however to the work of the psycho-analytic school, psychology is at last beginning to cast a few rays of light upon the darkness which has hitherto surrounded this central problem of human life and feeling. freud, in a recent article[116] summarizing the results of psycho-analysis in this direction, has divided loves into two main two types of love:— types:—
(1) the narcissistic type,
(2) the dependence type.
in the first type the love is the result of a projection of the narcissistic type the lover's self on to some other person—the narcissistic love originally directed to the self being thus displaced on to the person of the loved one—through some process of identification or some strong associative link. love of this type is frequently manifested in ties of a homosexual nature, where the lover finds in one of his own sex a nearer copy of himself than would otherwise be possible. it is also manifested in some of the fervent affections of parents for their children, where the parents regard those whom they have produced as in a manner an extension of themselves (cp. below ch. xiv). and finally it is manifested in some connections of a normal heterosexual kind; a man for example finds and admires in his wife those feminine qualities which are present in himself but to which, so long as they are in himself, he is unable (owing to repression of the feminine side of his nature) to afford full recognition or appreciation; or a woman finds attractive in a man those qualities of boyishness and masculinity which she herself possessed in some degree before the time of puberty but which[104] she has since sacrificed to make way for a more pronounced development of her "womanly" characteristics.
in love of the second type the affection is more genuinely the dependence type and primarily "object-love." the lover is here attracted towards his object because he finds in it something that is essential to the fulfilment of his own bodily or mental needs. it is this love which, as we have seen, is under normal circumstances first aroused in connection with the parents (and especially the mother), by whom the first primitive requirements of the infant are fulfilled. it is this love too which, in its displaced form, we have seen to be so frequently directed on to brothers, sisters or other near relatives, and which, by a further process of displacement, in the course of normal development eventually flows on to persons unconnected with the lover by any bond of relationship. the repression, as a result of which this latter displacement has occurred, as a rule, brings it about that the associative links that connect the newer with the older love are not perceptible to the lover himself; the bond is an unconscious one. nevertheless, this bond is often sufficiently clear to any keen observer, whose eyes have once been opened to the fact of its existence. in other cases however it may be of a more obscure nature, so as to require a deeper study of the personality of the lover and of his psychological history (such as can often only be obtained by employment of the psycho-analytic method) before the nature of the association becomes apparent.
the fact that in the personality of the loved object there the repression of the incestuous basis of affection, as shown in myth and legend often lies hidden, as it were, the buried image of a brother, sister, parent or other object of incestuous affection in the past, would seem to play an important part in the formation of a type of story of world-wide occurrence, of which the cupid-psyche myth and the lohengrin legend are perhaps the best known examples[117]. in these stories a marriage or love affair takes place between partners, one of whom is usually of mysterious (sometimes divine) origin and consents to enter upon the alliance only upon the condition that no question shall be asked as to his (or her) name, parentage or home; or upon the erection of some other prohibition, such as one which[105] forbids the use of vision or of speech (either generally or under specified circumstances); upon the infringement of which conditions the mysterious partner vanishes, leaving the remaining member of the pair to lament the loss that has been thus foolishly incurred through curiosity. here the prohibition would seem to be imposed with a view to concealing the fact that the union is based ultimately upon the foundation of an incestuous affection, or is itself incestuous in nature: a recognition of this fact would spoil the pleasure of the union by arousing the repressions connected with incestuous love and must therefore (as in the case of the marriage between ?dipus and jocasta in the ?dipus myth, where jocasta—in sophocles' play—strenuously opposes all efforts at investigation) be prevented by the most rigorous prohibitions, the breaking of which involves the permanent dissolution of the union.
among associations other than those of family relationship similarity as a basis of displacement by means of which the process of displacement is brought about, those depending on mental or physical similarity are probably the most important; of all the available methods of transference, they are too, in many respects, the easiest, most natural and the least liable to cause pathological aberrations of development. there can be little doubt, too, that the frequent occurrence of the displacement of the love impulse along these lines constitutes a factor of very considerable sociological and historical importance. the tendency to choose a mate resembling in some essential aspects—mental or physical—one's its biological significance own nearest relatives, must, for good or evil, act as a potent means of preserving the purity of individual types and of family, national or racial qualities; especially when, as may often happen, there is added to the influence of this factor that of the narcissistic element of love to which we have already referred. so long as the associative link which conditions the displacement is one that has some correspondence to reality, the closer the unconscious identification of the sexual partner of adult life with the object loved in infancy, the more likely will it be for this partner to possess hereditary qualities similar to those of the lover himself, and the greater therefore, in all probability, the resemblance of the ensuing offspring to their parents.
among the similarities of a less essential kind which may name assist in the process of displacement, those of name are apt to[106] play an important but subtle part and one that is very liable to be overlooked or where observed, ascribed to coincidence rather than (as it more often should be) to the operation of unconscious mental factors[118]. they are in some respects a source of danger, inasmuch as they are concerned with relatively superficial characteristics[119] which have little to do with the real nature of the person selected, thus making easy the choice of otherwise unsuitable objects of affection.
similarities with the parents as regards age often exercise age some influence in early years and in the early stages of displacement, but in later life are less operative than, in view of the intensity of the parent fixation in some individuals, might perhaps be expected. this is probably due, to a large extent at any rate, to the fact already referred to, that the unconscious parent love of adult life has as its object the image of the parents as they appeared to the child in infancy; these image-parents being therefore of a considerably younger age than that which the real parents have actually attained by the time the child has reached maturity.
[107]
the similarities as regards general or special circumstances may also on occasion be important in determining the direction of transference and in cases where the process of displacement has suffered an arrest at a comparatively early stage, may cause serious difficulties or restrictions in the choice of object.
thus it may happen that, just as the child's love activities falling in love with those who are already married or betrothed in relation to its earliest love object were impeded by the fact that this object was already bound by affection, law or both, to a third person (i. e. the parent of the same sex as that of the child), so in adult life the individual's choice may fall only on objects who are similarly not at liberty in the disposal of their affections[120]. there are indeed some men and women who can only fall in love with married or betrothed persons, and who are doomed therefore either to become dangerous enemies to the harmonious married life of others or else themselves to suffer successive repetitions of the unsuccessful love of their childhood[121]. marriage in such cases may bring no relief, because the object of their affection may cease to exercise attraction as soon as its possession is undisputed and unhindered. the widespread occurrence and intensity of the unconscious ideas underlying this kind of aberration is shown by the frequent treatment of the subject in legend and literature (cp. tristan and iseult, paolo and francesca, pelleas and melisande, don carlos and his step-mother, casandra and a host of other examples in which the expression and fulfilment of a great love are prevented by the fact that[108] one of the lovers is already married or affianced to a third person, usually a relative, and one who on analysis can easily be shown to represent the parent who stood in the way of the first love of the child.)[122].
in a number of other cases stress is laid not so much on the desire for obstacles in the way of love the unfree condition of the loved object, but, more generally, on the barrier raised by the incestuous nature of the desired relationship. this factor will of course in the majority of cases merely add its force to those demanding previous marriage or betrothal to another as a necessary qualification of the loved object, but will sometimes manifest itself alone as a felt need for the occurrence of some sort of hindrance to the consummation of love, the lover being unable to derive full satisfaction from the union or to remain permanently attracted to his chosen object in the absence of such hindrance[123]. here it will usually be found that the loved object is unconsciously identified with the parent or with some other near relation.
in other cases the desire for some kind of obstacle may manifest itself in a tendency to keep secret the existence and the circumstances of the love. with persons subject to this tendency (which would seem to be found more especially among women) a love affair may lose a great part—or perhaps the whole—of its attractiveness as soon as it is made public and is openly admitted, as by the act of marriage.
since the thought of the sexual relations of the parents the rescue phantasy is, both on account of jealousy and on account of the repression of incestuous cravings, one that is usually extremely distasteful to the child, the latter often likes to imagine that the loved parent enters into such relations unwillingly and under compulsion. such a belief can arise most easily in a boy's mind as regards his mother: it then in its turn gives rise to the idea of rescuing the mother from the unwelcome[109] and tyrannical attentions of the father[124]; a phantasy which has found expression in the many stories and legends (of which that of andromeda and that of st. george are perhaps the most widely known examples) in which a distressed and beautiful maiden is delivered by a young knight or hero from the clutches of a tyrant, giant or monster[125]. this phantasy is sometimes found too in a sublimated form in which, for instance, great enthusiasm may be aroused by the effort to deliver a small or helpless race or nation from the dominion of a larger and more powerful people[126], or again by the struggle for the liberation of an oppressed section of a community from the tyranny of a ruling class[127].
the idea of rescue has too, as has recently been discovered, the symbolic meaning of the rescue a further symbolic meaning, which may be present to the unconscious[128]. to rescue means to save from death, i. e. to present with life, and thus comes to be equated with the notion of begetting or bringing to life. in this way the rescue of the mother may signify to the unconscious a begetting, i. e. a process of cohabitation with her, the boy thus putting himself in the place of his father and fulfilling in a symbolic manner his incestuous desires. as a further determinant of the rescue phantasy in this sense there is sometimes to be found an obscure notion of self-begetting—the creation of oneself without the co-operation of the parent of one's own sex, all obligation to and connection with this parent being thus repudiated. such a repudiation of the undesired parent may also find expression in the phantasy of rescuing this parent from death—an idea which is not infrequent in legend and folklore: the obligation that the child had incurred through the gift of[110] life by the parent being now cancelled by the incurring of a similar obligation on the part of the parent towards the child.
freud has drawn attention to the occurrence of a curious hatred and contempt of the mother for permitting the advances of the father case of displacement—not infrequent among men and of very considerable importance for subsequent sexual life—which seems to depend to some extent at any rate, upon an arrest in the unconscious at the stage of secondary mother hatred or contempt to which we referred on p. 59[129]. in such cases the mother is not pitied for having to suffer unwelcome advances from the father, but hated and despised for permitting or encouraging these advances. the father, being, according to the estimation of the child's unconscious, a partner altogether undesirable, one who would under no circumstances be preferred to the child himself by any woman of good taste, the mother is regarded as a person quite lacking in such taste, a woman who indeed might give herself to anybody (a view which of course also encourages the hope that she may some the mother regarded as a prostitute day give herself to the child). if this view should persist in the unconscious, the mother may come subsequently to be regarded as a sort of prostitute.
now although such a sequence of ideas in the unconscious may lead to contempt of the mother, it has not deprived her of her original power of attracting love and admiration; it the dissociation of sexual attractiveness and esteem leads rather to a mental splitting up of these original attractive attributes, the more purely and directly sexual ones being separated from the other characteristics in virtue of which she stands as an example of all that is morally desirable in womanhood. these two different aspects of the mother attributes are then in later life sought and found in different individuals—the sexual attributes in prostitutes or in women of inferior morality, education, intelligence or social station; the other attributes—objects of tender love and admiration—in women of a higher standing, towards whom however no physically sexual attraction can be felt.
this dissociation of purely sexual attraction from tenderness, esteem and the other components of fully developed love, is, the importance of this dissociation if we take account of its presence in minor as well as in major degrees, of such frequent occurrence, that it has been[111] regarded by some as a normal feature of the sex impulse in the human male. it is at the same time a feature which cannot but be productive of harm in a monogamous society, so that if freud's explanation of its origin should prove to be one that is at all generally valid, this aberrant process of development must be regarded as one that entails very serious consequences of an ethical and sociological as well as of a psychological nature, and one therefore to whose incidence, genesis, growth and history a little further consideration may perhaps not unprofitably be devoted here.
the dissociation between the more purely sexual constituents influences in later life which are liable to reinforce it of love and the elements of esteem, reverence and tenderness which is originally brought about in the manner indicated by freud, probably owes much of its prevalence and importance in later life to the fact that, once established, it is very apt to be strengthened and maintained by certain of the conditions under which the development of a youth's sexual knowledge is liable to occur. among the most important of these conditions are the two following:
(1) the first actual experience of acute sensory pleasure of masturbation a sexual kind about the time of puberty is very frequently associated with the act of masturbation, which in its turn is often accompanied by visual phantasies in which the r?le of sexual partner is played by women or girls known to the boy. as masturbation itself is usually carried on in the face of considerable psychic opposition, being looked upon as sordid, disgusting or injurious to health, there is not unnaturally a reluctance to bring into connection with this manifestation of the sexual impulse any woman or girl who is sincerely and profoundly loved, esteemed or honoured; those introduced into the masturbation phantasies being therefore such who, while not devoid of superficial sexual attractiveness, nevertheless display some real or supposed inferiority (as regards beauty, virtue, social standing or what not), as a result of which they make no appeal to the boy's sense of higher moral values. through frequent repetition of this process, women of an inferior type come to be firmly associated with the more directly sexual aspects of love, from which women who are looked upon with tenderness or veneration are correspondingly dissociated, lest these dear objects of affection should be sullied[112] by being brought into contact with what the boy regards as dishonourable, lewd or filthy[130].
(2) at a later stage of development the original dissociation prostitution thus reinforced is frequently still further strengthened by the association (in thought or deed or both) of sexual practices with prostitutes—a class of women whom the youth is himself prepared to condemn because of the already existing connection in his mind between inferiority and sex, and as regards whose condemnation from the moral point of view he, as a rule, finds ample corroboration in the opinions expressed or implied by those around him.
the moral degradation of the sexual object thus receives effect of the dissociation on marriage its final confirmation, and when later in marriage the young man endeavours to unite esteem and tenderness with sexual passion, he may find that the dissociation between these elements of love has grown too wide and fundamental to be overcome, so that one or other of these requisites of a complete and happy married life has necessarily to be sacrificed. as a result of this, a man may marry a woman whom he is prepared indeed to cherish, honour and esteem, but towards whom (for this very reason) he feels himself but little attracted in a purely sexual sense; in which case he will often be tempted after a while to seek a more complete degree of sexual satisfaction elsewhere. or else, should the directly sexual trends prevail, he may select a partner who is inferior to him in some important intellectual, moral or social respect, thus paving the way for a married life in which many of his more sublimated tendencies, desires and aspirations are doomed to suffer permanent lack of gratification[131].
there can be little doubt that women are, on the whole, the liability of women to a corresponding dissociation less liable to suffer from this kind of dissociation than are men. with women the directly sexual elements of love are more frequently aroused together with the elements of tenderness and esteem, than is the case with men. thus many women[113] experience sexual desire or gratification only in relation to men to whom they are bound also by feelings of deep affection, admiration or respect. this difference between the sexes is perhaps to some extent a constitutional one, the elements in question being by nature more intimately fused and integrated in one sex than in the other[132]. some part of the difference is however due, beyond all reasonable doubt, to environmental and educational factors.
of the three principal factors we have enumerated as liable to bring about a high degree of dissociation between sexual attraction and esteem in men, it seems probable that the first—that due to the child's contempt for the (otherwise) loved parent for yielding to the sexual advances of the hated parent—is almost if not quite as potent with women as with men. the subsequent reinforcement of the dissociation by the two remaining factors is however to a considerable extent inoperative with women. the influence of masturbation is in nearly all respects less marked in women than in men, partly perhaps because at the important age, at or about the time of puberty, the practice is less frequent with girls than with boys, but principally because for a variety of reasons it meets with less violent psychic opposition, arouses less violent moral conflicts and is to a much lesser extent liable to become the cause of self-contempt or self-reproach[133]. nor again is the[114] association of sexual activity with prostitution (although the act of prostitution itself may be regarded with considerable repulsion) so deeply ingrained in women as in men.
in spite, however, of the lesser operation of these factors in the case of women and in spite of any possible closer connection (through innate organization) of the elements of the love impulse which are liable to dissociation, it is nevertheless true that a very considerable number of women do suffer from some degree of this dissociation[134].
such women will often be attracted to two kinds of men—one manifestations of the dissociation in women of which (frequently physically inferior) may arouse sympathy, respect, devotion or tenderness, while the other (frequently of a morally, socially or intellectually inferior type, but often physically superior[135]) will alone be capable of arousing sexual desire. quite often the attraction to an inferior person is combined with the desire for clandestinity to which we referred above; the whole complex finding its most satisfying and appropriate expression in a furtive love affair of such a kind as to be contrary to the moral or social standards of the woman's upbringing and environment. it is obvious that the difficulties which bar the way to a completely successful marriage for such women are but little if at all inferior to those existing in the case of men who suffer from a corresponding condition of dissociation[136].
[115]
in a certain number of cases there is to be observed a combination of the prostitute and rescue phantasies combination of the original prostitute phantasy (the remoter consequences of which we have been here considering) with the rescue phantasy to which we referred above. such a combination of motives may give rise to the enthusiasm for "rescue work" as displayed by such persons as john storm in sir hall caine's novel "the christian" or, more generally, may bring about the desire to lead the prostitute, fallen or abandoned woman (mother substitute) to a better way of life (cp. hamlet and his mother)[137]. in women too this combination of motives may not infrequently be observed, manifesting itself most often as a desire to effect the regeneration of some drunkard, ne'er-do-well or criminal or of some class of men of this description; sometimes leading even to marriage with a person of this kind, with a view to the better attainment of this end (though in these cases the superior sexual attractiveness of such men is of course usually an additional—though not always a recognised—motive).
in still other cases again the intensely disagreeable feeling the desire for chastity that is associated with the idea of the mother giving herself to the father may lead to an overwhelming desire for the strictest previous chastity in any woman that may be selected as bride or sexual partner; the virginity of the later love serving as a recompense for the supposed impurity and faithlessness of the earlier object of affection, and to some extent no doubt (through the process of identification) bringing about—so far as the unconscious mind of the lover is concerned—a purification of this former object. such feelings as these, working in the unconscious, are probably among the most powerful factors which determine the behaviour of that not inconsiderable number of men whose affection and general[116] attitude towards a woman are completely changed by the merest suspicion that she has experienced sexual relationships with any but themselves, however great the extenuating circumstances connected with such relationships; who are utterly unable to entertain the idea of marriage with any such woman (cp. angel clare in thomas hardy's "tess of the d'urbervilles") or who in temporary or venal intercourse will go to much trouble or expense to secure a virgin for their partner[138].
the brief review which we have undertaken in this the importance of displacement in the love life chapter of the displacement of the love impulse from persons of the immediate family environment to objects selected from a wider circle, is sufficient to show that the whole nature and course of the love life of an individual is to a very large extent dependent on the way in which this displacement is achieved[139]. there is little doubt but that the further advance of psychological science will reveal more intimately the working of those mechanisms with which we have here been dealing, and of whose nature and importance we are now beginning to gain some rough preliminary understanding. in view of the desirability of a satisfactory direction of the love impulse, as well from the point of view of national and racial well-being as from that of individual happiness and family prosperity, it is to be expected that the further enlightenment which we may hope for on this subject, will be, both practically and theoretically, as important as any which the science of psychology will bring us.
