the anonymous lettersdo not give dalliance too much the rein; the strongest oaths arestraw to the fire i'the blood.
the tempestas they left the drawing-room about midnight, julien found time tosay to his mistress: 'do not let us meet tonight, your husband has suspicions; i would swear that that long letter he was reading with such displeasure is an anonymous one.'
fortunately, julien locked himself into his room. madame de renalconceived the mad idea that this warning was simply a pretext for notcoming to see her. she lost her head absolutely, and at the usual hourcame to his door. julien, hearing a sound in the corridor, instantly blewout his lamp. someone was attempting to open his door; was it madamede renal, was it a jealous husband?
early the next morning, the cook, who took an interest in julien,brought him a book on the cover of which he read these words written initalian: guardate alia pagina 130.
julien shuddered at the imprudence, turned to page one hundred andthirty and found fastened to it with a pin the following letter written inhaste, bedewed with tears, and without the least attempt at spelling.
ordinarily madame de renal spelt quite well; he was moved by this detail and began to forget the frightful imprudence.
'so you would not let me in tonight? there are moments when i feelthat i have never seen into the depths of your heart. your look frightensme. i am afraid of you. great god! can it be, you have never loved me?
in that case, my husband can discover our love, and shut me up inlifelong imprisonment, in the country, apart from my children. perhapsgod wills it so. i shall soon die; but you will be a monster.
'do you not love me? are you tired of my follies, of my remorse, impious one? do you wish to ruin me? i give you an easy method. go, showthis letter to all verrieres, or rather show it to m. valenod alone. tell himthat i love you; but no, utter no such blasphemy; tell him that i adoreyou, that life only began for me on the day when i first saw you; that inthe wildest moments of my girlhood, i had never even dreamed of thehappiness that i owe to you; that i have sacrificed my life to you, that iam sacrificing my soul to you. you know that i am sacrificing far more.
'but what does he know of sacrifices, that man? tell him, tell him, tomake him angry, that i defy all evil-speakers, and that there is but onemisfortune in the world for me, that of beholding a change in the oneman who holds me to life. what a blessing for me to lose it, to offer it insacrifice, and to fear no longer for my children!
'doubt not, dear friend, if there be an anonymous letter, it comes fromthat odious being who, for the last six years, has pursued me with hisloud voice, with a list of the jumps his horse has taken, with his fatuityand with the endless enumeration of all his advantages.
'is there an anonymous letter? wicked one, that is what i wished todiscuss with you; but no, you were right. clasping you in my arms, forthe last time perhaps, i could never have discussed the matter calmly, asi do when i am alone. from this moment our happiness will not be soeasily secured. will that be an annoyance to you? yes, on the days whenyou have not received some amusing book from m. fouque. the sacrificeis made; tomorrow, whether there be an anonymous letter or not, i shalltell my husband that i have received an anonymous letter, that he mustinstantly offer you a large sum to accept another post, find some decentpretext, and send you back without delay to your family.
'alas, dear friend, we are going to be parted for a fortnight, perhaps amonth! but there, i do you justice, you will suffer as much as i. still, thisis the only way to counteract the effect of this anonymous letter; it is notthe first that my husband has received, and on my account too. alas!
how i have laughed at them!
'the whole purpose of my scheme is to make my husband think thatthe letter comes from m. valenod; i have no doubt that he is its author. ifyou leave the house, do not fail to go and establish yourself at verrieres.
i shall contrive that my husband conceives the idea of spending a fortnight there, to prove to the fools that there is no coolness between himand myself. once you are at verrieres, make friends with everyone, eventhe liberals. i know that all the ladies will run after you.
'do not go and quarrel with m. valenod, nor crop his ears, as you oncethreatened; on the contrary, show him every politeness. the essentialthing is that it should be known throughout verrieres that you are goingto valenod's, or to some other house, for the children's education.
'that is what my husband will never stand. should he resign himselfto it, well, at least you will be living in verrieres, and i shall see yousometimes. my children, who are so fond of you, will go to see you.
great god! i feel that i love my children more, because they love you.
what remorse! how is all this going to end? i am wandering … well,you understand what you must do; be gentle, polite, never contemptuous with these vulgar personages, i implore you on my knees: they are tobe the arbiters of our destiny. doubt not for a moment that my husbandin dealing with you will conform to whatever public opinion mayprescribe.
'it is you that are going to provide me with this anonymous letter; armyourself with patience and a pair of scissors. cut out of a book the wordsyou will see below; paste them together, with water-glue, on the sheet ofblue paper that i send you; it came to me from m. valenod. be preparedfor a search of your room; burn the pages of the book you mutilate. ifyou do not find the words ready made, have the patience to composethem letter by letter. to spare you trouble, i have cut the anonymous letter short. alas! if you no longer love me, as i fear, how long mine mustseem to you!
anonymous letter"madame,all your little goings on are known; but the persons to whose interestit is to check them have been warned. from a lingering affection foryourself, i beg you to detach yourself entirely from the little peasant. ifyou have the wisdom to do this, your husband will believe that thewarning he has received was misleading, and he will be left in his error.
bear in mind that i know your secret; tremble, unhappy woman; henceforward you must tread a straight path, driven by me."'as soon as you have finished pasting together the words that make upthis letter (do you recognise the governor's style in it?) come out of yourroom, i shall meet you about the house.
'i shall go to the village, and return with a troubled countenance; ishall indeed be greatly troubled. great god! what a risk i am running,and all because you thought you detected an anonymous letter. finally,with a woebegone face, i shall give my husband this letter, which will have been handed to me by a stranger. as for you, go for a walk in thedirection of the woods with the children, and do not return until dinnertime.
'from the rocks above, you can see the tower of the dovecote. if allgoes well, i shall place a white handkerchief there; if not, you will seenothing.
'ungrateful wretch, will not your heart find out some way of tellingme that you love me, before starting on this walk? whatever may befallme, be certain of one thing: i should not survive for a day a final parting.
ah! bad mother! these are two idle words that i have written, dear julien. i do not feel them; i can think only of you at this moment, i havewritten them only so as not to be blamed by you. now that i find myselfbrought to the point of losing you, what use is there in pretence? yes, letmy heart seem black as night to you, but let me not lie to the man whomi adore! i have been all too deceitful already in my life. go to, i forgiveyou if you love me no longer. i have not time to read my letter through.
it is a small thing in my eyes to pay with my life for the happy dayswhich i have spent in your arms. you know that they will cost me morethan life.'
