they popped quickly together into bond street. a tall man like a sarjent stood graveley at the door of the shop mr. withersq led his love to, and this tall man pretended to be undoing the door of a motor car when he saw them stopping at the door, and offered selia his arm as if she was stepping out of her car and then led her up to the door as though she were someone although she had simply come on foot.
once inside a lordly person in evening dress came swimming up with joined hands and said “what, please?” with a low bow.
mr. withersq said very loud: “underthings” so this gentleman led them through beautiful saloons of costly goods until they got to that part.
57 a damzel with reddish hair gowned in trailing black satin and beads rose from a couch with a nice smile saying “what, please?” as mr. withersq told her. she then ran lightly up a few ladders and threw boxes down until he had chosen the kind of under things he craved from amongst these. there were garments of satin and silk and fleece all very refined and nice but mr. withersq chose his to be of peech pink as he thought that was rather fashenable and odd.
he then gave orders for his name and ￡sd in a little ring to be embroidered on all these and paying her some good few pounds proceeded to another apartment.
“come selia,” he cried, “we must quickly make ourselves chick.”
and so with a harty slap on the back he led her on towards the boot part of the shop.
“show me some shoes and boots of the best” cried he smiling fondly to the lady at the 58boots, “this is me and my young lady selia, we are to go in socierty and must dress the part as you doubtless no.”
so he bought a yellow pair with butons and a couple of black pairs of shoes and some white hairy ones and some red house shoes, and selia had some shiny black shoes with dimond buckles and some pale boots and some openwork boots up the sides and some high shiny boots and some fur boots for the bedroom and satin slippers of every hugh besides stockings to match and silk all the way up at that every time and very nice to feel.
then mr. withersq bought black coats both day and night with plad trouwsers for day and smooth black ones for nite and a sport suit with whiskers on it that smelt, with top hats fawn and black and a night hat that popped up and down with a snap.
selia then got
velvet hats
59lace hats
silk hats with stremers
lether hats
straw hats some with flowrs and fethers
bed hats of frills and bows
and all of these had its own privet box to be in and a lid that fitted it. while as to the robes that her loving harold streud on her no tongue could tell for there was a high stepped lady all to themselves that taurght them what to by and for when which is the worst to know and the things piled up like greased litning till all the persons in the shop left their jobs and all the people too and the boys that wizz the lifts up and down too and all followed and stared to see so rich a man prepar his fate. he topped it all by ordering gloves by boxfuls, a fan as curly as a ostrich and under attire by wisper for his sweet, which she went into a littel privet part to chose herself.
and they went out of that shop most 60exceeding grand dressed all in new things scruffing their shoes on the floor to take the shiny off, carrying parcels all eyes glaring upon them and left boxes and boxes full to come on by carter pattisen.
“taxi, sir?” asked the sarjent-looking man at the door bowing more low than at first.
“yes” gruntled mr. withersq as the strings of his parcels cut his fingers a bit and he was sore tired.
a taxi swam up to the edge of the path and the man opened the door of it and selia nipped in and sank down in its interiaw.
“where to?” said the driver, which made mr. withersq think twice before he spoke that time.
seeing his destress the sarjent-looking man wispered in his ear as a sugestion: “why not the grand palace my good sir, it is very sentral.”
so mr. withersq got to the point at last 61and ordered the taxi to go to the grand palace, which he did.
when they got there mr. withersq stumped into the hall as he had had an idear.
“trot me out the boss!” he cried to the trembling girl in the glass desk there and she ran for him.
when he came he was fat and red.
“i am the manager” he utered.
“so?” said mr. withersq knowing well that would make him feel small. “well i am mr. withersq, my unckle burt has left me many millions, i have my lady selia with me, i am the head poet of the land and i wish to rent your second and third floors all to myself one for me and one for her, as only the best will do for us.”
“you want two whole floors?” spat the red manager.
“i do” said mr. withersq.
“but what of those who are within the 62floors?” said the manager who was very afraid by now.
“tell them i will foot their bills” replyed mr. withersq “and ask no questions if they will get out.”
the red man turned pale now and ran away to do mr. withersquashes bequest, and mr. withersq went to fech selia and the band struck up in the hall amongst the parms and sweet flowers, and the girl in the glass desk bowed and so the pair proudly entered and went up the stares to their apartments, and those who had been in the rooms before went hurried down the back stairs, but it was no trouble to them as they knew that they had made on the bargen.
after they had gone to their two floors and settled down and sent for all their close, selia called down the stairs to her harold: “i say, squashy dear, lets go for a ride on a horse.”
“why yes” said mr. withersq, “that is a 63very smart thing to do indeed, i wonder we did not think of it before.”
so he rang the bell that was standing on a little tabel very handy in the passage, and a dear little boy with three rows of beady butons all up his coat came tripping to reply to it.
“go out and buy me some breeches” ordered mr. withersq “my dear little lad. and please get me two whips and a riding skirt for the lady. be quick back and you can keep the change.”
and he handed him a bag full of money.
off tripped the little lad and shortly returned with boxes from a nabouring shop. he had thoughtfully brought all that was the thing, riding boots and hats and whips and gloves for two, and a pair of breeches each, shaggy ones for mr. withersq and black for selia with a coat and skirt in one also to cover her up. they slipped into these things and tossing the remains of the money to the boy 64they went out and hired two horses and went for a ride in the park to get up an appetite for tea after all they had eaten at the majpottels. it joggled them up a bit on the horses as all they had ever rode before was at the fairs, still they stuck it and were stout of heart.
just as they were coming out of the park to go home a poleeceman stopt them.
“are you by way of being mr. withersquash?” he asked.
“yes,” said our hero without quaking for he knew he had done no rong, “what of it, eh?”
“a messej has just come from the palace that his dear magesty the king would like you to slip in to tea and see him, as he wants to see what sort of a new poet he has got.”
“oh, all right,” said mr. withersq, “will it do if we go as we are, and do you think i can take selia too?”
“i expect it will be all right” said the 65poleeceman. “his magesty is very kind and nice, i dont think he would mind much.”
so they rode on their horses down to the palace, and tied the reins on to those twisty rails in front of it, and the guards in the hairy hats nodded to them, and they went into the front yard and up to the door and then in, as they knew they were expected.
oh what an hour for mr. withersq and his selia to step at last on that envied spot.
“littel did i think when we set out that we should go so far nor do so well” uttered mr. withersq in a low tone from respect as they went inside. just then a junior admiral came stepping smartly to meet them.
“ha good day dear mr. withersq” said he with a grin.
“goodday indeed,” responded he. “let me interduce selia. shake hands selia!” which she did.
“pleased to meet you” said the admiral who 66was garbed in serge and brade of purest gold. he then went on “perhaps you’d like to tidy up a bit before you go in to tea?”
“if its not troubling you” said selia, who was a bit shattered in looks after the horse.
“certainly not” said the admiral kindly “we have a special place for that sort of thing. when visiters come in on the hop as you have they generally want a brush and washup by the time they arrive.”
“yes traveling does make one so fussely, does not it” cried selia in a boomy tone which caused the admiral to open wide his admiring eyes as he had no doubt thought she would be quite common and was glad to find it was not so after all.
“quite, quite” agreed he, adding “and i have sent to tell the guards at the gate to be sure and give your horses some water and straw for their tea so do not worry about them.”
67 “oh they are not ours thanks all the same” said mr. withersq. “still you might as well have a drink sent out to them if you dont mind, thanks.”
the admiral now led them to the place for the toilett and passed them on to the persons there. it was a very vast hall complete with shaving chairs with shavers in silk jackets who soon took mr. withersq and wrapped him up in cloths and gave him a good scrape and selia in turn went to a marbel tabel where one damsel tidyed her hair kindly and another gave her pouder and all those kinds of things and another polished her nails nicely with pinka and wiped her boots over with a velvet and when both were neat they returned to the admiral who was waiting because that is what he was for. so he looked them over and saw there was no hares on mr. withersquashes coat and everything as it should be.
on he led them down passage after passage 68and through room after room, and he let them have a peep in to where the best of the m.p.’s were thinking out some new laws which interested them both very much. and in the next room they had a squint at a lot of generals very fierce of mustashe who were practising with swords and guns and keeping their peckers up until the next war in that way because if they dont they get livers and have to retire.
and next to them in another room were the sea lords, some of whom waved very friendly to the conductor of our little party, but they were not very busy at work as their time for swimming practise was over for that day, and they were having the half day off, so ideled the time with marveleous jig-saws and draufts and chesses and what not, very cosy in their nice room.
at last they came to a very grand high passage all lined with flags of conquered 69countries and a stuffed lion in a glass case on the left just before a door, which was the door of the room where the king and queen were, at which both selia and harold began to tremble not a little, for of all things they wanted to make a good impression.
“have a heart” cried the admiral kindly, “they will not eat you, and there is no fuss on purpose not to make you feel small as the king well nose that it is a bit queer for a poet like you coming to see him in his palace for the first time.”
at that he gave a respecful tap on the door and departed.
they entered meekly into a great room with slippery floor, and in the centre there was a tabel all heaped with flowers and set for about ten and smothered in sweet foods, and at this tabel sat the king and her dear magesty the queen was just pouring out tea. they had pushed back their thrones to seem more at 70home and sat on simpel chairs, and the princess and the princes were alas not there, so no doubt they were elsewhere on business.
“i am mr. withersq” said our hero as he went in, holding selia by the hand and making a courtly bow, “and this is my lady selia. we were out riding and only just knew you wanted us so we came strait on.”
“that’s all right” said the king, getting up to push two more chairs to the tabel for them. “we’re very glad to see you. excuse us having started but we didn’t know if you’d get here in time and we were dying for a cup of tea.”
“sit down, do,” said the queen nicely, because she guest they would not dare to sit unless told.
now selia found her tongue and said “it is so very good of you to let me come in too, it will be a great help to me, and i have 71always so wanted to see you, little dreaming i ever should when ma and i used to go to the pictures together and see you on the pathe.”
“really now?” said the queen passing down two more cups of tea for them, “very pleased to see you i’m sure at last. what is this they tell me about your young man’s having done so well at poetry?”
so selia told her all about how he came in for a good bit of money and how they set out to get on in the world, and how emilyon boom had turned up his nose, and how mr. withersq had got the prize as best poet, and how now if only she could make a hit too they hoped shortly to wed. and the queen listened very nicely and promised that emilyon boom should be punished and not allowed to write poems any more. all this time selia was getting plenty to eat too.
meantime the king and mr. withersq were having a nice chat.
72 “listen my dear” said the king to the queen, “my head poet is telling me that his young lady wants to make a hit and she is going to shew the world what she can do in the way of sport. now dont you think we might go and see her, because that will be a help if the people know we are going to be there, wont it? and i have taken a great liking to these young people, and should like to see them happily married.”
“certenly, certenly,” utered the queen most kindly patting selia’s hand for a moment so that was setled and after a bit they got up to go and happily remembered to go out through the door backwards and the king waved his hand kindly as they did so to say goodbye, but the queen was busy ringing the bell for a maid to clear.
“i hope he thought i was all right as a poet” mr. withersq said outside, “i suppose 73i shall often have to pop in and see him if he keeps me on.”
just then the king called “hi!” from inside the room so they peeked in again to see what it was.
“oh i say! i quite forgot your medel” he said, laufing a good bit, “here you are then and blessings on you.” it was a nice little medal like tiny leaves in gold which is what the head poet wears so as people know what he is altho’ you dont often see him. so they again bowed and waved goodbye and came out and went back along all the passages and so out into the yard and there the horses still were, looking a bit fed up with waiting so long. and as they strode up to them a very good thing happened, because a photo man from the newspapers came up and took their photos which is fame indeed.
“what luck” cried selia gayly as they rode 74away, “it was indeed a good idear to go to the poetry school was it not! see how you have got on!”
“yes, i think we are getting on all right” he replyed for of a truth he had learnt by now that it is only the first step that hurts.
