each morning, for the next three days, we got part of our equipment. the quality of the leather goods was excellent, the arms were in first-rate order, the linen clean and of a kind to wear well. there were some details not up to the mark, the haversacks were only moderately good, most of the water-bottles leaked or smelt bad. bouillon, however, got me all i wanted in the way of new things, and it was, thanks to him too, that the battalion cobbler deigned to put nails into my boots.
in the afternoons my only idea was to "leg it."
in theory we were not allowed out until after five o'clock; but as a matter of fact our stripes over-awed the sentry, the sergeant in charge took care not to see us on condition, of course, that we should do as much for him sometime.
guillaumin stayed in billets for the first two days, hoping to make himself useful. i found him in a state of exasperation when i got back in the evening; they had made no use of him, nor of the men, for that matter.... oh yes, i beg your pardon! they had not stopped sweeping the yard all afternoon. then at four o'clock they had emptied a cartload of straw out on to it, and now it was dirtier than ever![pg 86] his obsession for the time being was this: what were they waiting for? why didn't they take us on the drill-ground? let them teach us our trade as soldiers. to think we were going to fight to-morrow!
through him i learnt that the text-books had lately been modified on several essential points. i enjoyed getting a rise out of him.
"oh, what does it matter! none of the officers have an inkling of it."
he got into a great state of mind. what a shame it was to have to see such valuable material wasted. we had no leaders.
"in the 22nd anyhow!"
we were agreed on that point.
who would have believed that our captain had not yet put in an appearance, though his arrival had been announced several times. the first lieutenant delafosse, a middle-aged man, cold and correct, confined himself to questions of administration. as for the others, henriot, whom we had come across on the first day, we soon placed as an elementary schoolteacher. yet another of them! rather a refined-looking man, but his accent left much to be desired. he taught, we heard, in a village near the meuse. he meant well no doubt, but was woefully lacking in authority and initiative. his two colleagues, descroix and humel, had soon monopolised him, and were hail-fellow-well-met with him. he made himself very pleasant and attentive to us, and was obviously anxious to make a good impression. when he had to give an order he seemed apologetic about it:
"i refer the matter to you ... you know all about that as well as i do!"
ravelli, the battalion sergeant-major, a good-look[pg 87]ing dog, who had been decorated, added his own failings to those indispensable to his calling! an insufferable bounder! stupid and pretentious; a real bad lot.... he grovelled to the officers and bullied the men shamefully. he did not quite dare to attack us openly, and we could see he appreciated our powers of retaliation. but the poor poilus in the ranks!
it was nothing but parades and roll-calls and inspections with this low-bred cur at their heels from morning till night, an endless stream of fatigues. the tactlessness of the man! the parisian groused. lamalou already refused flatly to obey him; and judsi made no bones about exclaiming, "the bloody beast, 'e'd better look out for 'isself w'en we get our ammunition."
such were our superior officers. the trio lacked breadth of mind. breton, the quartermaster-sergeant was acting company sergeant-major, as we had not a pukka one.
three more non-commissioned officers had now been added to the company. hourcade, a bank clerk in civil life, a dull dog, and meticulous to a fault. belloeil, a butcher from marais, with very high colouring,—a good sort, so obese that they had given up trying to clothe him. he declared his intention of staying behind as drill sergeant to the raw recruits. and lastly playoust. he was a character, this chartres fishmonger. a fine figure of a man, a rake with the gift of the gab, he was addicted to "talking big," and did not lack a sense of humour. his bragging amused me. a gay dog, he boasted that he accepted ... hospitality in town every night, but never two nights from the same hostess. he assured us that there was a large choice. where on[pg 88] earth?... why of course among the wives of the regulars who had left on the day of mobilisation.
guillaumin had not much taste for this class of bragging. nor i, for that matter, but i recognised in this popular cynicism a kindred spirit to my own. and then playoust made up to me and always liked to count me among his audience when he was playing the fool. it was no time before he had gained a singular hold over a certain set of our comrades. were we there to be bored? he organised "manilles" in which descroix and humel and hourcade took part from the beginning. quartermaster belloiel took a hand when wanted. guillaumin loathed cards. as to the others they were left out of it. i was never asked to make a fourth. but i saw that it was in my own interest to remain on good terms with the whole lot.... there did not seem to me very much difficulty about that; ... i had bought cigars to give away. i wasted a whole afternoon in this colourless society. playoust was in good form that day. we kept up a cross-fire of witticisms, he and i.... it was up to the others to do the laughing. everything went well!
i climbed down when guillaumin came to me that same evening much against his will—for he hated telling tales—to give me a friendly warning.
"you look out! they can't stand you!"
"no! is it as bad as all that?"
"quite. it's better that you should know about it."
"what do they object to about me?"
"the way you get out of things, and shirk the tiresome jobs. they can't stand that. directly your back was turned, just now, they exploded. a regular chorus! it's just the same every evening!"
[pg 89]
"descroix and humel?" i asked scornfully.
"and playoust too."
"really! you don't say so!"
"he most of all!"
this gave me something to think about, when all the time i'd been looking on him as an ally!... i thanked guillaumin for drawing my attention to it.
"you may be sure i stood up for you," he added.
as if i should ever have doubted it!
i examined my conscience; there was no doubt that i had been to blame on several occasions!
thereupon i altered my plan of attack!
the next day playoust happened to be on guard. he was obviously frightfully cut up at having to fail a particularly lovely lady. i offered to take his place. he accepted casually.
"i'll do the same for you sometime, old boy!"
"right you are!"
in the morning i had already suggested taking charge of a fatigue party of some sort. descroix had exclaimed:
"nonsense, it can't be true! dreher who never stirs a foot."
"it's about time he took his turn," said humel.
never mind! i quite thought i should succeed in disarming them partially.
at the same time i judged it expedient to tighten the bonds between us, the four old pupils. i busied myself about it without much success.
frémont was the pleasant comrade he had always been. but in voice and gesture and outlook he still retained a certain something which was extraordinarily infantile, and rather took one aback. he was extremely young in mind too. a doctor of sci[pg 90]ence at the age of twenty-three and an honours man he took no interest in anything outside his speciality. he was particularly unresponsive on the subjects of art and philosophy which i was particularly fond of discussing.
besides he was living in a dream. though present at every parade, he deserved every time—as guillaumin threatened him, with a laugh—to be reported as absent.
"oh, these young husbands!"
he waited until the regulation time to go out, but then he lost no time in getting through the gate. his wife had come to fetch him, and they went off arm in arm. one met nobody but them in town, all evening. why couldn't they shut themselves up? i knew they had hired a room. yes, guillaumin explained to me, but they did not have the use of it till eight o'clock. poor lovers! the fact remains that their idyl, in a fair way to become the talk of the whole regiment, got on my nerves!
as for de valpic, it must be admitted that he was rather an eccentric being. his manners were perfection. on coming into contact with him one felt that he was unusually cultured, not to say, erudite. he would embark on a discussion with great gusto ... but it would suddenly come to a premature close. he used to pretend to give way suddenly before your arguments. i say pretend because you felt that he had others in reserve. was it the disdain of a great gentleman for our bourgeois dialectics? the supposition warred with his entire absence of side. but i had nevertheless to adhere to it. he so carefully avoided all attempts to force his intimacy. it was impossible to persuade him to take a meal with us.[pg 91] and yet he could hardly be called a sybarite when he dined at the best hotel in the place. he professed to be on a special diet. was he ill? perhaps. as a matter of fact he did not look very robust.... i questioned him discreetly. he reddened and got out of it by answering vaguely:
"digestion!..."
what is certain is that he was of a particularly lazy disposition. his least busy day he spent stretched out at full length, his head leaning against his valise, his legs in a rug which he had brought; quite idle, with his eyes open. this attitude drew upon him, besides playoust's quips, the animosity of the company sergeant-major who, sticking his nose in at the door, would call him slyly:
"halloa there! de valpic! as you're doing nothing!"
guillaumin continued to be my only intimate companion. i did not tell any one but him of my discovery of a hay-loft looking over the principal's garden. he soon got in the habit of coming there often to join me. it became our headquarters.
i now succeeded in persuading him to go about the town with me. we hardly left each other's side. in the evening he accompanied me to the door of the hotel where i had been able to find a room, and he went back to sleep on the straw. i had thought of asking him to share my bed; but how embarrassing for both of us! he would no doubt have refused.
f—— seemed quite commonplace. i had seen it look pretty much the same each time the division assembled for man?uvres.
there was the same stream of red trousers rolling through the streets at all hours, besieging the "pubs,"[pg 92] and rifling the grocers' shops and bazaars, the shopkeepers' one idea being to exploit the reservists whose pockets were usually well-lined. the windows decked with bunting suggested the idea of an eve of the fourteenth of july, or of a visit from the president.
the atmosphere was as calm as possible. those who had expected riots, or a revolution! i only remember one incident. the report spread one afternoon that a spy had been discovered and arrested at the station.... in five minutes a crowd was shouting in front of the police-station where the transgressor, or transgressors—they talked now of three or four!—had been taken and put under arrest. policemen were guarding the door. we waited for half an hour amid the growing feverishness. when they came out there was an outcry and a rush.... the shameful fury of crowds!... i caught sight of the two poor wretches, a man and a woman, little puny, terrified creatures. a motor took them away. they were both cowering under the menace of raised walking-sticks.
the sight had irritated me. it was easy to say spies! i thought of our compatriots, caught unawares in germany. it might have happened to me. i was there at the time of the agadir trouble. i teased guillaumin who had been as bad as the rest. he admitted that he had been in the wrong, but it was too much for him. the bosches. the filthy bosches!
the lead had been heaved and soundings taken. all these people hid the sacred passion beneath their calm exterior. they were right. this nation had risen to butcher us. between them and us a war of extermination was beginning....
and i could so easily have forgotten it!
