“all london is full of vagaries,
of bustle of splendour and show,
at every turn the scene varies,
whether near, or still further we go.
each lane has a character in it,
each street has its pauper and beau:
and such changes are making each minute,
scarce one from the other we know.
the in and out turnings of life,
few persons can well understand;
but in london the grand source of strife,
is of fortune to bear the command.
yet some who are high up to day,
acknowledged good sober and witty,
may to-morrow be down in decay,
in this great and magnanimous city.”
[203] “apropos,” said the hon. tom dashall, laying down the times newspaper after breakfast, “a fine opportunity is offered to us to day, for a peep at the citizens of london in their legislative assembly, a court of common council is announced for twelve o'clock, and i think i can promise you much of entertaining information, by paying a visit at guildhall and its vicinity. we have several times passed it with merely taking a view of its exterior, but the interior is equally deserving of attention, particularly at a period when it is graced by the personages and appendages which constitute its state and dignity. london is generally spoken of as the first commercial city in the known world, and its legislators, as a corporate body, becomes a sort of rallying post for all others in the kingdom. we have plenty of time before us, and may lounge a little as we march along to amuse or refresh ourselves at leisure.” “with all my heart,” said tallyho, “for i have heard much about the lord mayor, the sword bearer, and the common hunt, all in a bustle,—though i have never yet had an opportunity of seeing any of them.”
[204]"they are interesting subjects, i can assure you, so come along, we will take a view of these gogs and magogs of civic notoriety,” and thus saying, they were quickly on the road for the city. the morning being fine, they took their way down st. james's street, at the bottom of which their ears were attracted by the sounds of martial music approaching.
“we have nicked the time nicely indeed,” said dashall, “and may now enjoy a musical treat, before we proceed to the oratorical one. the guards in and about the palace, are relieved every morning about this time, for which purpose they are usually mustered at the horse-guards, in the park, where they are paraded in regular order, and then marched here. it forms a very pleasing sight for the cockney loungers, for those out of employ, and those who have little inclination to be employed; and you see the crowds that are hastening before them, in order to obtain admission to palace yard, before their arrival—let us join the throng; there is another detachment stationed there ready to receive them, and while they are relieving the men actually on duty, the two bands alternately amuse the officers and the bye-standers with some of the most admired overtures and military airs.”
they now passed the gate, and quickly found themselves in a motley group of all descriptions, crowding to the seat of action, and pouring in from various avenues. men, women, and children, half-drill'd drummers, bandy-legged fifers, and suckling triangle beaters, with bags of books and instruments in their hands to assist the band. the colours were mounted as usual on a post in the centre, the men drawn up in ranks, and standing at ease, while the officers were pacing backwards and forwards in the front, arm-in-arm with each other, relating the rencontres of the preceding day, or those in anticipation of the ensuing. this order of things was however quickly altered, as the relieving party entered, and at the word “attention,” every officer was at his post, and the men under arms. our friends now moved under the piazzas so as to be in the rear of the party who had the first possession, and after hearing with great admiration the delightful airs played by the two bands, which had been the principal object of attraction with them—they proceeded through the park and reached charing cross, by the way of spring gardens.
[205] “zounds,” said tallyho, “this is a very unworthy entrance to a royal park.”
“admitted, it is so,” was the reply, “and a degradation to the splendid palace, i mean internally, which is so close to it, and which is the present residence of majesty.” they now proceeded without any thing further of consequence worthy of remark, till they reached villiers-street.
“come,” said tom, “i perceive we shall have time to take a look at the world below as well as the world above; “when crossing into the adelphi, and suddenly giving another turn, he entered what to bob appeared a cavern, and in one moment was obscured from his sight.—“hallo,” said tallyho, “where the devil are you leading me to?”—“never mind,” was the reply; “keep on the right side, and you are safe enough; but if you get into the centre, beware of the slough of despond—don't be afraid.”
upon this assurance bob groped his way along for a few paces, and at a distance could discover the glimmering of a lamp, which seemed but to make darkness more visible. keeping his eye upon the light, and more engrossed with the idea of his own safety in such a place than any thing else, for he could neither conjecture where he was nor whence he was going, he presently came in violent contact with a person whom he could not see, and in a moment found himself prostrate on the ground.
“hallo,” cried a gruff voice, which sounded through the hollow arches of the place with sepulchral tone—“who the devil are you—why don't you mind where you go—you must not come here with your eyes in your pocket;” and at the same time he heard a spade dug into the earth, which almost inspired him with the idea that he should be buried alive.
“good god protect,” (exclaimed bob,) “where is dashall—where am i?”
“where are you—why you're in the mud to be sure—and for aught i know, dashall and all the rest may be in the clouds; what business have you dashing here—we have enough of the dandies above, without having them below—what have you lost your way, or have you been nibbling in the light, and want to hide yourself—eh?”
[206] “neither, neither, i can assure you; but i have been led here, and my friend is on before.”
“oh, well, if that's the case, get up, and i'll hail him, —ey-ya-ap”—cried he, in a voice, which seemed like thunder to our fallen hero, and which was as quickly answered by the well known voice of his cousin, who in a few minutes was at his elbow.
“what now,” vociferated tom, “i thought i gave you instructions how to follow, and expected you was just behind me.”
“why for the matter of that,” cried the unknown, “he was not before you, that's sartin; and he knocked himself down in the mud before ever i spoke to him, that's all i know about it—but he don't seem to understand the navigation of our parts.”
“i don't wonder at that,” replied tom; “for he was never here before in his life—but there is no harm done, is there?”
“none,” replied bob; “all's right again now—so proceed.”
“nay,” replied the unknown, “all's not right yet; for if as how this is your first appearance in the shades below, it is but fair you should come down.”
“down,” said bob, “why i have been down—you knock'd me down.”
“well, never mind, my master, i have set you on your pins again; and besides that, i likes you very well, for you're down as a hammer, and up again like a watch-box—but to my thinking a drap o'somut good would revive you a little bit; and i should like to drink with you—for you ought to pay your footing.”
“and so he shall,” continued tom—“so come along, my lad.”
by this time bob had an opportunity of discovering that the person he had thus unfortunately encountered, was no other than a stout raw-boned coalheaver, and that the noise he had heard was occasioned by his sticking his pointed coal-shovel in the earth, with intention to help him up after his fall. pursuing their way, and presently turning to the right, bob was suddenly delighted by being brought from utter darkness into marvellous light, presenting a view of the river, with boats and barges passing and repassing with their usual activity.
“what place is this?” inquired tallyho.
[207] “before you,” replied his cousin, “is the river thames; and in the front you will find wharfs and warehouses for the landing and housing of various merchandize, such as coals, fruit, timber, &c.: we are now under the adelphi terrace, where many elegant and fashionable houses are occupied by persons of some rank in society; these streets, lanes, and subterraneous passages, have been constructed for the convenience of conveying the various articles landed here into the main streets of the metropolis, and form as it were a little world under ground.”
“and no bad world neither,” replied the coalheaver, who upon inspection proved to be no other than bob martlet, whom they had met with as one of the heavy wet party at charley's crib—“for there is many a family lives down here, and gets a good bit of bread too; what does it signify where a man gets his bread, if he has but an honest appetite to eat it with: aye, and though i say it, that house in the corner there, just down by the water's edge, can supply good stuff at all times to wash it down with, and that you know's the time of day, my master: this warm weather makes one dryish like, don't it?”
tom thought the hint dry enough, though bob was declaring he was almost wet through; however, they took their road to the fox under the hill, as it is termed. on entering which a good fire presented itself, and tallyho placed himself in front of it, in order to dry his clothes, while bob martlet was busy in inquiring of the landlord for a brush to give the gemman a wipe down, as, he observed, he had a sort of a trip up in these wild parts—though to be sure that there was no great wonder, for a gentleman who was near sighted, and didn't wear spectacles; “however,” continued he, “there an't no harm done; and so the gemman and i are going to drink together—arn't we, sir?”
tallyho, who by this time had got well roasted by the fire-side, nodded his assent, and dashall inquired what he would like.
[208] “why, my master, as for that, it's not much matter to me; a drap of sky blue in a boulter of barley,{1} with a dollop of sweet,{2} and a little saw dust,{3} is no bad thing according to my thinking; but lord bless you! if so be as how a gemman like you offers to treat bill martlet,
1 a boulter of barley—a drink—or a pot of porter.
2 a dollop of sweet—sugar.
3 saw-dust—a cant term for ginger or nutmeg grated.
why bill martlet never looks a gift horse in the mouth, you know, as the old saying is; but our landlord knows how to make such rum stuff, as i should like you to taste it—we call it hot, don't us, landlord?—come, lend us hold of the brush?” “ave, and brush up, mr. landlord,” said the hon. tom dashall; “let us have a taste of this nectar he's talking of, for we have not much time to stop.”
“lord bless your eye sight,” replied martlet, “there an't no occasion whatsomdever for your honours to stay—if you'll only give the order, and push about the possibles, the business is all done. come, shovel up the sensible,” continued he to the landlord, “mind you give us the real double xx. i don't think your coat is any the worse, it would sarve me for a sunday swell toggery for a twelve-month to come yet; for our dirt down here is as i may say clean dirt, and d———me if i don't think it looks all the better for it.”
“thank you, my friend,” said bob; “that will do very well,” and the landlord having by this time completed his cookery, produced the good stuff, as martlet termed it.
“come, gentlemen, this is the real right sort, nothing but the bang-up article, arn't it, my master? but as i always likes the landlord to taste it first, by way of setting a good example, just be after telling us what you think of it.”
“with all my heart,” said the landlord; who declared it was as prime a pot of hot as he had made for the last fortnight. .
with this recommendation our friends tried it; and after tipping, took their departure, under the positive assurance of martlet, that he should be very glad to see them again at any time.
they now pursued their way through other subterraneous passages, where they met waggons, carts, and horses, apparently as actively and usefully employed as those above ground.
“come,” said tom, “we have suffered time to steal a inarch upon us,” as they reached the strand; “we will therefore take the first” rattler we can meet with, and make the best of our way for the city.”—this was soon accomplished, and jumping into the coach, the old jarvey was desired to drive them as expeditiously as possible to the corner of king-street, cheapside.
