the rotterdam canals were choked with barges, weighted with freight; heavy trucks rattled down the streets, a whistle shrieked, telegraph wires hummed, motors flashed by—men were moving quickly, grouping themselves freely at corners; life—vivid, outspoken, free—crowded upon me, filling my eyes and ears. with a swift tremor of physical fear i huddled back in my seat. after eight months i was afraid of this thing!

and “inside” i had thought i realized the whole of the cruel numbness. slowly i had felt it closing in about me, closing down upon me, shutting me in with them—with terrors and anguish, with human souls that at any moment a hand might reach in to toss—where?