the days ran on for about a week with a suppressed and agitating expectation in them, which seemed to frances to blur and muddle all the outlines, so that she could not recollect which was wednesday or which was friday, but felt it all one uncomfortable long feverish sort of day. she could not take the advantage of any pleasure there might be in them—and it was a pleasure to watch constance, to hear her talk, to catch the many glimpses of so different a life, which came from the careless, easy monologue which was her style of conversation—for the exciting sense that she did not know what might happen at any moment, or what was going to become of her. even the change from her familiar place at table, which constance took without any thought, just as{v1-214} she took her father’s favourite chair on the loggia, and the difference in her room, helped to confuse her mind, and add to the feverish sensation of a life altogether out of joint.
constance had not observed any of those signs of individual habitation about the room which frances had fancied would lead to a discovery of the transfer she had made. she took it quite calmly, not perceiving anything beyond the ordinary in the chamber which frances had adorned with her sketches, with the little curiosities she had picked up, with all the little collections of her short life. it was wanting still in many things which to constance seemed simple necessities. how was she to know how many were in it which were luxuries to that primitive locality? she remained altogether unconscious, accordingly, of the sacrifice her sister had made for her, and spoke lightly of poor frances’ pet decorations, and of the sketches, the authorship of which she did not take the trouble to suspect. “what funny little pictures!” she had said. “where did you get so many odd little{v1-215} things? they look as if the frames were homemade, as well as the drawings.”
fortunately she was not in the habit of waiting for an answer to such a question, and she did not remark the colour that rose to her sister’s cheeks. but all this added to the disturbing influence, and made these long days look unlike any other days in frances’ life. she took the other side of the table meekly with a half-smile at her father, warning him not to say anything; and she lived in the blue room without thinking of adding to its comforts—for what was the use, so long as this possible banishment hung over her head? life seemed to be arrested during these half-dozen days. they had the mingled colours and huddled outlines of a spoiled drawing; they were not like anything else in her life, neither the established calm and certainty that went before, nor the strange novelty that followed after.
there were no confidences between her father and herself during this period. since their conversation on the night of constance’s arrival, not a word had been said between them on the{v1-216} subject. they mutually avoided all occasion for further talk. at least mr waring avoided it, not knowing how to meet his child, or to explain to her the hazard to which her life was exposed. he did not take into consideration the attraction of the novelty, the charm of the unknown mother and the unknown life, at which frances permitted herself to take tremulous and stealthy glimpses as the days went on. he contemplated her fate from his own point of view as something like that of the princess who was doomed to the dragon’s maw but for the never-to-be-forgotten interposition of st george, that emblem of chivalry. there was no st george visible on the horizon, and waring thought the dragon no bad emblem of his wife. and he was ashamed to think that he was helpless to deliver her; and that, by his fault, this poor little una, this hapless andromeda, was to be delivered over to the waiting monster.
he avoided frances, because he did not know how to break to her this possibility, or how, since constance probably had made her aware of it, to console her in the terrible crisis{v1-217} at which she had arrived. it was a painful crisis for himself as well as for her. the first evening on which, coming into the loggia to smoke his cigarette after dinner, he had found constance extended in his favourite chair, had brought this fully home to him. he strolled out upon the open-air room with all the ease of custom, and for the first moment he did not quite understand what it was that was changed in it, that put him out, and made him feel as if he had come, not into his own familiar domestic centre, but somebody else’s place. he hung about for a minute or two, confused, before he saw what it was; and then, with a half-laugh in his throat, and a mingled sense that he was annoyed, and that it was ridiculous to be annoyed, strolled across the loggia, and half seated himself on the outer wall, leaning against a pillar. he was astonished to think how much disconcerted he was, and with what a comical sense of injury he saw his daughter lying back so entirely at her ease in his chair. she was his daughter, but she was a stranger, and it was impossible to tell her that her place was not there. next evening{v1-218} he was almost angry, for he thought that frances might have told her though he could not. and indeed frances had done what she could to warn her sister of the usurpation. but constance had no idea of vested rights of this description, and had paid no attention. she took very little notice, indeed, of what was said to her, unless it arrested her attention in some special way; and she had never been trained to understand that the master of a house has sacred privileges. she had not so much as known what it is to have a master to a house.
this and other trifles of the same kind gave to waring something of the same confused and feverish feeling which was in the mind of frances. and there hung over him a cloud as of something further to come, which was not so clear as her anticipations, yet was full of discomfort and apprehension. he thought of many things, not of one thing, as she did. it seemed to him not impossible that his wife herself might arrive some day as suddenly as constance had done, to reclaim her child, or to take away his, for that was how they were{v1-219} distinguished in his mind. the idea of seeing again the woman from whom he had been separated so long, filled him with dread; and that she should come here and see the limited and recluse life he led, and his bare rooms, and his homely servants, filled him with a kind of horror. rather anything than that. he did not like to contemplate even the idea that it might be necessary to give up the girl, who had flattered him by taking refuge with him and seeking his protection; but neither was the thought of being left with her and having frances taken from him endurable. in short, his mind was in a state of mortal confusion and tumult. he was like the commander of a besieged city, not knowing on what day he might be summoned to surrender; not able to come to any conclusion whether it would be most wise to yield, or if the state of his resources afforded any feasible hopes of holding out.
constance had been a week at the palazzo before the trumpets sounded: the letters were delivered just before the twelve-o’clock breakfast; and frances had received so much warning{v1-220} as this, that mariuccia informed her there had been a large delivery that morning. the signor padrone had a great packet; and there were also some letters for the other young lady, signorina constanza. “but never any for thee, carina,” mariuccia had said. the poor girl thus addressed had a momentary sense that she was indeed to be pitied on this account, before the excitement of the certainty that now something definite must be known as to what was to become of her, swelled her veins to bursting; and she felt herself grow giddy with the thought that what had been so vague and visionary, might now be coming near, and that in an hour or less she would know! waring was as usual shut up in his bookroom; but she could see constance on the loggia with her lap full of letters, lying back in the long chair as usual, reading them as if they were the most ordinary things in the world. frances, for her part, had to wait in silence until she should learn from others what her fate was to be. it seemed very strange that one girl should be free to do so much, while another of the same age could do nothing at all.{v1-221}
waring came into breakfast with the letters in his hand. “i have heard from your mother,” he said, looking straight before him, without turning to the right or the left. frances tried to appropriate this to herself, to make some reply, but her voice died in her throat; and constance, with the easiest certainty that it was she who was addressed, answered before she could recover herself.
“yes—so have i. mamma is rather fond of writing letters. she says she has told you what she wishes, and then she tells me to tell you. i don’t suppose that is of much use?”
“of no use at all,” said he. “she is pretty explicit. she says——”
constance leant over the table a little, holding up her finger. “don’t you think, papa,” she said, “as it is business, that it would be better not to enter upon it just now? wait till we have had our breakfast.”
he looked at her with an air of surprise. “i don’t see——” he said; then, after a moment’s reflection, “perhaps you are right, after all. it may be better not to say anything just now.{v1-222}”
frances had recovered her voice. she looked from one to another as they spoke, with a cruel consciousness that it was she, not they, who was most concerned. at this point she burst forth with feelings not to be controlled. “if it is on my account, i would rather know at once what it is,” she cried.
and then she had to bear the looks of both—her father’s astonished half-remorseful gaze, and the eyes of constance, which conveyed a warning. why should constance, who had told her of the danger, warn her now not to betray her knowledge of it? frances had got beyond her own control. she was vexed by the looks which were fixed upon her, and by the supposed consideration for her comfort which lay in their delay. “i know,” she said quickly, “that it is something about me. if you think i care for breakfast, you are mistaken; but i think i have a right to know what it is, if it is about me. o papa, i don’t mean to be—disagreeable,” she cried suddenly, sinking into her own natural tone as she caught his eye.
“that is not very much like you, certainly,” he said, in a confused voice.{v1-223}
“evil communications,” said constance, with a laugh. “i have done her harm already.”
frances felt that her sister’s voice threw a new irritation into her mood. “i am not like myself,” she said, “because i know something is going to happen to me, and i don’t know what it is. papa, i don’t want to be selfish, but let me know, please, only let me know what it is.”
“it is only that mamma has sent for you,” said constance, lightly; “that is all. it is nothing so very dreadful. now do let us have our breakfast in peace.”
“is that true, papa?” frances said.
“my dear little girl—i had meant to explain it all—to tell you—and i have been so silly as to put off. your sister does not understand how we have lived together, frances, you and i.”
“am i to go, papa?”
he made a gesture of despair. “i don’t know what to do. i have given my promise. it is as bad for me as for you, frances. but what am i to do?”
“i suppose,” said constance, who had helped herself very tranquilly from the dish which{v1-224} domenico had been holding unobserved at his master’s elbow, “that there is no law that could make you part with her, if you don’t wish to. promises are all very well with strangers; but they are never kept—are they?—between husband and wife. the father has all the right on his side, and you are not obliged to give either of us up. what a blessing,” she cried suddenly, “to have servants who don’t understand! that was why i said, don’t talk of it till after breakfast. but it does not at all matter. it is as good as if he were deaf and dumb. papa, you need not give her up unless you like.”
waring looked at his daughter with mingled attention and anger. the suggestion was detestable, but yet——
“and then,” she went on, “there is another thing. it might have been all very well when we were children; but now we are of an age to judge for ourselves. at eighteen, you can choose which you will stay with. oh, younger than that. there have been several trials in the papers—no one can force frances to go anywhere she does not like, at her age.”
“i wish,” he said, with a little irritation,{v1-225} restrained by politeness, for constance was still a young-lady visitor to her father, “that you would leave this question to be discussed afterwards. your sister was right, frances—after breakfast—after i have had a little time to think of it. i cannot come to any decision all at once.”
“that is a great deal better,” said constance, approvingly. “one can’t tell all in a moment. frances is like mamma in that too. she requires you to know your own mind—to say yes or no at once. you and i are very like each other, papa. i shall never hurry your decision, or ask you to settle a thing in a moment. but these cutlets are getting quite cold. do have some before they are spoiled.”
waring had no mind for the cutlets, to which he helped himself mechanically. he did not like to look at frances, who sat silent, with her hands clasped on the table, pale but with a light in her eyes. the voice of constance running on, forming a kind of veil for the trouble and confusion in his own mind, and doubtless in that of her sister, was half a relief and half an aggravation; he was grateful for it,{v1-226} yet irritated by it. he felt himself to play a very poor figure in the transaction altogether, as he had felt ever since she arrived. frances, whom he had regarded as a child, had sprung up into a judge, into all the dignity of an injured person, whose right to complain of the usage to which she had been subjected no one could deny. and when he stole a furtive glance at her pale face, her head held high, the new light that burned in her eyes, he felt that she was fully aware of the wrong he had done her, and that it would not be so easy to dictate what she was to do, as everybody up to this moment had supposed. he saw, or thought he saw, resistance, indignation, in the gleam that had been awakened in frances’ dove’s eyes. and his heart fell—yet rose also; for how could he constrain her, if she refused to go? he had no right to constrain her. her mother might complain, but it would not be his doing. on the other side, it would be shameful, pitiful on his part to go back from his word—to acknowledge to his wife that he could not do what he had pledged himself to do.
in every way it was an uncomfortable break{v1-227}fast, all the forms of which he followed, partly for the sake of constance, partly for that of domenico. but frances ate nothing, he could see. he prolonged the meal, through a sort of fear of the interview afterwards, of what he must say to her, and of what she should reply. he felt ashamed of his reluctance to encounter this young creature, whom a few days ago he had smiled at as a child; and ashamed to look her in the face, to explain and argue with, and entreat, where he had been always used to tell her to do this and that, without the faintest fear that she would disobey him. if even he had been left to tell her himself of all the circumstances, to make her aware gradually of all that he had kept from her (for her good), to show her now how his word was pledged! but even this had been taken out of his hands.
all this time no one talked but constance, who went on with an occasional remark and with her meal, for which she had a good appetite. “i wish you would eat something, frances,” she said. “you need not begin to punish yourself at once. i feel it dreadfully, for it is all my fault. it is i who ought to lose{v1-228} my breakfast, not you. if you will take a few hints from me, i don’t think you will find it so bad. or perhaps, if we all lay our heads together, we may see some way out of it. papa knows the law, and i know the english side, and you know what you think yourself. let us talk it all over, and perhaps we may see our way.”
to this frances made no reply save a little inclination of her head, and sat with her eyes shining, with a certain proud air of self-control and self-support, which was something quite new to her. when the uncomfortable repast could be prolonged no longer, she was the first to get up. “if you do not mind,” she said, “i want to speak to papa by himself.”
constance had risen too. she looked with an air of surprise at her little sister. “oh, if you like,” she said; “but i think you will find that i can be of use.”
“if you are going to the bookroom, i will come with you, papa,” said frances, but she did not wait for any reply; she opened the door and walked before him into that place of refuge, where he had been sheltering himself all{v1-229} these days. constance gave him an inquiring look, with a slight shrug of her shoulders.
“she is on her high horse, and she is more like mamma than ever; but i suppose i may come all the same.”
he wavered a moment: he would have been glad of her interposition, even though it irritated him; but he had a whimsical sense of alarm in his mind, which he could not get over. he was afraid of frances—which was one of the most comical things in the world. he shook his head, and followed humbly into the bookroom, and himself closed the door upon the intruder. frances had seated herself already at his table, in the seat which she always occupied when she came to consult him about the dinner, or about something out of the usual round which mariuccia had asked for. to see her seated there, and to feel that the door was closed against all intrusion, made waring feel as if all this disturbance was a dream. how good the quiet had been; the calm days, which nothing interfered with; the little housekeeper, whose childlike prudence and wisdom were so quaint, whose simple obedience was so ready, who never, save{v1-230} in respect to the spese, set up her own will or way! his heart grew very soft as he sat down and looked at her. no, he said to himself, he would not break that old bond; he would not compel his little girl to leave him, send her out as a sacrifice. he would rather stand against all the wives in the world.
“papa,” said frances, “a great deal of harm has been done by keeping me ignorant. i want you to show me mamma’s letter. unless i see it, how can i know?”
this pulled him up abruptly and checked the softening mood. “your mother’s letter,” he said, “goes over a great deal of old ground. i don’t see that it could do you any good. it appears i promised—what constance told you, with her usual coolness—that one of you should be always left with her. perhaps that was foolish.”
“surely, papa, it was just.”
“well, i thought so at the time. i wanted to do what was right. but there was no right in the matter. i had a perfect right to take you both away, to bring you up as i pleased. it would have been better, perhaps, had i done what the law authorised me to do. however,{v1-231} that need not be gone into now. what your sister said was quite true. you are at an age when you are supposed to be able to judge for yourself, and nobody in the world can force you to go where you don’t want to go.”
“but if you promised, and if—my mother trusted to your promise?” there was something more solemn in that title than to say “mamma.” it seemed easier to apply it to the unknown.
“i won’t have you made a sacrifice of on my account,” he said, hastily.
he was surprised by her composure, by that unwonted light in her eyes. she answered him with great gravity, slowly, as if conscious of the importance of her conclusion. “it would be no sacrifice,” she said.
waring, there could be no doubt, was very much startled. he could not believe his ears. “no sacrifice? do you mean to say that you want to leave me?” he cried.
“no, papa: that is, i did not. i knew nothing. but now that i know, if my mother wants me, i will go to her. it is my duty. and i should like it,” she added, after a pause.{v1-232}
waring was dumb with surprise and dismay. he stared at her, scarcely able to believe that she could understand what she was saying—he, who had been afraid to suggest anything of the kind, who had thought of andromeda and the virgins who were sacrificed to the dragon. he gazed aghast at this new aspect of the face with which he was so familiar, the uplifted head and shining eyes. he could not believe that this was frances, his always docile, submissive, unemancipated girl.
“papa,” she said, “everything seems changed, and i too. i want to know my mother; i want to see—how other people live.”
“other people!” he was glad of an outlet for his irritation. “what have we to do with other people? if it had not been for this unlucky arrival, you would never have known.”
“i must have known some time,” she said. “and do you think it right that a girl should not know her mother—when she has a mother? i want to go to her, papa.”
he flung out of his chair with an angry movement, and took up the keys which lay on his table and opened a small cabinet which stood{v1-233} in the corner of the room, frances watching him all the time with the greatest attention. out of this he brought a small packet of letters, and threw them to her with a movement which, for so gentle a man, was almost violent. “i kept these back for your good, not to disturb your mind. you may as well have them, since they belong to you—now,” he said.
