13 poor ellen!

“really!” said daphne, as ellen walked out of the room and banged the door. “what awful manners that girl’s got! what’s the matter with her?”

nobody knew. nobody guessed that ellen was getting more and more worried about her work. she knew that the end of term tests were coming along, and she wanted to come out well in them. she must! so she was working hard every minute, and she had begun to feel at last that she would be able to face the tests and do well.

but that evening she did not feel very well. her throat hurt her. her eyes hurt her, especially when she moved them about. she coughed.

surely she wasn’t going to be ill! that would put her terribly behind in her work. it would never do. so ellen dosed herself with cough lozenges, and gargled secretly in the bathroom, hoping that matron would not notice anything wrong.

her eyes were too bright that evening. her usually pale cheeks were red. she coughed in prep. miss potts, who was taking prep, looked at her.

“do you feel all right, ellen?” she asked.

“oh, quite all right, miss potts,” said ellen, untruthfully, and bent her head over her book. she coughed again.

“i don’t like that cough,” said miss potts. “i think perhaps you had better go to . . .”

“oh, miss potts, it’s only a tickle in my throat,” said ellen, desperately. “perhaps i’d better get a drink of water.”

“well, go then,” said miss potts, still not quite satisfied. so ellen went. she leaned her hot head against the cool wall of the cloakroom and wished miserably that she had someone she could confide in. but her snappiness and irritability had put everyone against her—even jean. jean had tried to be nice—and ellen hadn’t even bothered to go and get the games subscription for her.

“i don’t know what’s come over me lately,” thought the girl. “i used not to be like this, surely. i had plenty of friends at my other school. i wish i’d never left there. i wish i’d never won a scholarship!”

she must go back. her throat still hurt her and she slipped a lozenge into her mouth. then she went back to the classroom, trying to walk firmly, though her legs felt rather wobbly.

she had a high temperature and should have been tucked up in bed. but she wasn’t going to give in. she must do her work. she mustn’t get behind. she must do well in the tests, whatever happened.

she tried to learn some french poetry, but it buzzed round and round in her head. she began to cough again.

“oh, shut up,” said alicia, in a whisper. “you’re putting it on to get potty’s sympathy.”

that was so like alicia! she didn’t like people who coughed or sniffed or groaned. she had no sympathy to spare for those who needed it. she was a healthy, strong, clever girl, who had never been ill in her life, and she scorned stupid people, or those who were delicate and ailing, or in trouble. she was hard, and it didn’t seem as if she was getting any kinder. darrell often wondered how she could so badly have wanted alicia to be her friend when she had first come to malory towers!

ellen looked at alicia with dislike. “i can’t help it,” she said. “i’m not putting it on.” she sneezed and alicia gave an exclamation of disgust.

“don’t! go to bed if you’re as bad as all that!”

“silence!” said miss potts, annoyed. alicia said no more. ellen sighed and tried to concentrate on her book again. but she couldn’t. she was glad when the bell went and she could get up and go out into the cooler air. she was hot and yet she shivered. oh, blow, she certainly was in for a cold. perhaps it would be better tomorrow.

she tried to stuff some food down her throat at supper-time, in case miss parker noticed she wasn’t eating anything. miss parker did not often take any notice of ellen. she was usually a quiet girl, with a name for bad temper, and miss parker was not at all interested in her, though sometimes surprised that her work was not better.

it was sally who noticed that ellen seemed ill that night. she heard her quick, rather hoarse breathing and looked at her in concern. she remembered how ellen had coughed in prep. poor ellen—was she feeling simply awful, and not wanting to make a fuss?

sally was both sensible and kind. she went to ellen and took her hot hands. “ellen! you’re not well! let me go with you to matron, silly!”

the little act of kindness made the tears start to ellen’s eyes. but she shook her head impatiently.

“i’m all right. leave me alone! just got a headache, that’s all.”

“poor old ellen,” said sally. “you’ve got more than a headache. come along to matron. you ought to be in bed!”

but ellen wouldn’t go. it was not until jean came up and sympathized with her that she broke down and confessed that yes, she really did feel awful, but she couldn’t possibly go to bed with all that work to do before the tests! “i must do well, you see,” she kept saying. “i must.” the tears ran down her cheeks as she spoke, and she suddenly shivered.

“you won’t do any good by keeping up when you should be in bed,” said jean. “come along. i’ll keep you well posted in what we do in lessons, i promise you! i’ll make notes for you and everything!”

“oh, will you?” said poor ellen, coughing. “all right then. if you’ll help me to catch up, i’ll go and see matron now. perhaps just one day in bed will put me right.”

but one day was certainly not going to put ellen right! she was very ill and matron put her to bed in the san. at once. ellen was so thankful to be there that she couldn’t help crying. she was ashamed of herself, but she couldn’t stop the tears.

“now don’t you worry,” said matron, kindly. “you should have been in bed days ago by the look of you! silly child! now you just lie still and enjoy a week in bed.”

a week! ellen started up in horror. she couldn’t possibly miss a week’s work. she stared at matron in dismay. matron pushed her back.

“don’t look so horrified. you’ll enjoy it. and as soon as you feel like it, and your cold is not infectious, you can choose a visitor.”

“poor ellen’s really ill,” said jean, as she went back to the others. “i don’t know what her temperature is, but i saw matron’s face when she took it, and it must be pretty high.”

“she coughed like anything in prep tonight,” said sally. “i felt sorry for her.”

“well, alicia didn’t,” said gwen, maliciously. “she told her to shut up! dear, kind alicia!”

alicia glared. she was always making sharp remarks about gwen—but this time gwen had got one back at her—and alicia didn’t much like it.

“oh, we all know that alicia can’t bear to give a little sympathy out,” said darrell, unable to stop herself. she had felt annoyed with alicia lately, because she had been so offhand with sally. also she had thought that alicia should certainly have owned up that it was she who had known mam’zelle rougier was going to take the lesson instead of mam’zelle dupont. she had made belinda get into a row, when she could have prevented it.

alicia, too, was ashamed of this now. but it was too late to do anything about it. there was no point in owning up now that the matter was closed. but she kept kicking herself for not doing so at the right time. she had been too obstinate.

she was sorry too that she had been hard on ellen that evening—but how could she know she was really ill? she hadn’t any time for that silly ellen, always snapping and snarling at everyone! let her be ill! a good thing if she was away from the class for a while. she wouldn’t miss her!

ellen felt very ill for four days, then she felt a little better. her temperature went down, and she began to take a little more interest in things. but alas! her old worry came back immediately she was well enough to think clearly!

those tests! she knew that on the result of the tests depended her place in form. and it was very important that she should be top or nearly top. her father and mother were so very proud that she had won the scholarship to such a fine school. they were not well-off, but they had told ellen they would do anything they could to keep her at malory towers, now that she had won the right to be there by her own hard work.

the uniform had been so expensive. even the train fare was expensive. it was a good thing she had been able to get a lift down in somebody’s car. mother had bought her a new trunk and a new suit-case. more expense. oh, dear—was it really a good thing to win a scholarship to a school like malory towers if you had to count your pennies? perhaps it wasn’t.

then another thought struck her. she had had to have the doctor. that would be another expense on the bill. and all the time she was losing her school work, and would do badly her first term. her parents would be bitterly disappointed.

so ellen worried and worried. the matron and the nurse couldn’t think why she did not throw off her illness as quickly as she should. every day she begged to be allowed to get up, but matron shook her head. “no, you can’t, dear. you’re not quite right yet. but would you like a visitor now? you can have one if you like.”

“oh, yes. i’d like jean, please,” said ellen at once. jean had promised to take notes for her. jean would tell her all about the lessons she had missed. jean was dependable and reliable.

so jean came to see her, bringing a pot of honey. but it was not honey that ellen wanted. she hardly even glanced at it.

“did you bring the notes you said you would make for me?” she asked, eagerly. “oh, jean—didn’t you?”

“good gracious me—what do you want notes of lessons for already?” demanded jean, in astonishment. “you’re not even up!”

“oh, i do, i do,” said ellen. “you promised, jean. well, bring them next time. you tell me all the lessons you’ve had now.”

jean screwed up her eyes and tried to remember. she thought ellen queer to want to talk about lessons instead of games or fun. she began to tell ellen.

“well, in maths, we did those new sums again. i can bring you some to show you. and in french we learnt that long piece of poetry on page sixty-four. i can recite some of it if you like. and for geography we learnt . . .”

matron bustled up. “jean! ellen mustn’t hear a word about lessons yet! she mustn’t start worrying her head about work. she couldn’t help missing it, and miss parker and mam’zelle will quite understand that she will be a bit behind when she comes back.”

ellen stared at her in consternation. “but, matron! i must know it all. i must! oh, do let jean tell me. and she’s going to bring me some lesson notes she’s made for me too.”

“well, she certainly mustn’t. i forbid it,” said matron. so that was that. ellen took no more interest in jean’s conversation. she lay back, desperate. she’d be near the bottom now! how unlucky she was!