21 mam’zelles ‘treek’
certainly everything was much better now. alicia went to see june and addressed a good many sound and sensible words to that much chastened and subdued first-former. it would be a long time before june forgot them, if she ever did. she didn’t think she ever would.
moira was basking in a new-found admiration and liking, that made her much more amenable to the others’ suggestions, and rehearsals became a pleasure. even the sulky bridget came smiling into the fifth-form common-room to say she was glad moira had saved june. “it makes me feel you might do the same for me, moira!” she said.
“well—i would,” said moira, shortly, and bridget went out, pleased.
mam’zelle had been very shocked and upset about everything. “but it is terrible! how could june do such a thing? and moira—moira, that hard moira to go and save her like that! miss potts, never would i have thought that girl had a generous action in her! miss potts—it shocks me that i know so little of my girls!”
“oh, you’ll get over the shock,” said miss potts, cheerfully. “and you’ll have plenty more. well, well—the girls have cheered up a lot—the fifth-formers i mean. they really were a worried, miserable, quarrelsome crew last week! i was seriously thinking of playing a trick on them to cheer them up!”
mam’zelle looked at miss potts. in her desk were the trick teeth which had arrived that morning. miss potts must not play a trick—if a trick was to be played, she, mam’zelle, would play it. ah yes—to cheer up the poor girls! that would be a kind act to do.
there was a house-match that afternoon—north tower girls against west tower. mam’zelle decided she would appear as a spectator at the match—with her teeth!
ah, those teeth! mam’zelle had tried them on. they might have been made for her! they fitted over her own teeth, but were longer, and projected slightly forward. they were not noticeable at all, of course, when she had her mouth shut—but when she smiled—ah, how sinister she looked, how strange, how fierce!
mam’zelle had shocked even herself when she had put in the extraordinary teeth and smiled at herself in the glass. “tiens!” she said, and clutched her dressing-table. “i am a monster! i am truly terrible with these teeth . . .”
that afternoon she put them in carefully over her others and went downstairs to the playing-fields, wrapping herself up warmly in coat, scarf and turban. darrell saw her first, and made room for her on the form she was on.
“thank you,” said mam’zelle, and smiled at darrell. darrell got a tremendous shock. mam’zelle had suddenly looked altogether different—quite terrifying. darrell stared at her—but mam’zelle had quickly shut her mouth.
the next one to get the smile was little felicity who came up with susan. mam’zelle smiled at her.
“oh!” said felicity in sudden horror, and susan stared. mam’zelle shut her mouth. a desire to laugh was gradually working up inside her. no, no—she must not laugh. laughing spoilt tricks.
she did not smile for some time, trying to conquer her urge to laugh. miss linnie, the sewing-mistress, passed by and nodded at mam’zelle. mam’zelle could not resist showing her the teeth. she smiled.
miss linnie looked amazed and horrified. she walked on quickly. “was that really mam’zelle?” she wondered. “no, it must have been someone else. what awful teeth!”
mam’zelle felt that she must get up and walk about. it was too cold to sit—and besides she so badly wanted to laugh again. ah, now she understood why the girls laughed so much and so helplessly when they played their mischievous tricks on her.
she walked along the field, and met bill and clarissa. they smiled at her and she smiled back. bill stood still, thunderstruck. clarissa hadn’t really noticed.
“clarissa!” said bill, when mam’zelle had gone. “what’s the matter with mam’zelle this afternoon? she looks horrible!”
“horrible? how?” asked clarissa in great surprise.
“well, her teeth! didn’t you see her teeth?” asked bill. “they seem to have changed or something. simply awful teeth she had—long and sticking-out.”
clarissa was astonished. “let’s walk back and smile at her again,” she said. so back they went. but mam’zelle saw their inquisitive looks, and was struggling against a fit of laughter. she would not open her mouth to smile.
matron came up. “oh, mam’zelle—do you know where gwen is? she’s darned her navy gym pants with grey wool again. i want her indoors this afternoon!”
mam’zelle could not resist smiling at matron. matron stared as if she couldn’t believe her eyes. mam’zelle shut her mouth. matron backed away a little, looking rather alarmed.
“gwen’s over there,” said mam’zelle, her extra teeth making her words sound rather thick. matron looked even more alarmed at the thick voice and disappeared in a hurry. mam’zelle saw her address a few words to miss potts. miss potts looked round for mam’zelle.
“aha!” thought mam’zelle. “matron has told her i look terrible! soon miss potts will come to look at my smile. i shall laugh. i know i shall. i shall laugh without stopping soon.”
miss potts came up, eyeing mam’zelle carefully. she got a quick glimpse of the famous teeth. then mam’zelle clamped her mouth shut. she would explode if she didn’t keep her mouth shut! she pulled her scarf across her face, trying to hide her desire to laugh.
“do you feel the cold today, mam’zelle?” asked miss potts anxiously. “you—er—you haven’t got toothache, have you?”
a peculiar wild sound came from mam’zelle. it startled miss potts considerably. but actually it was only mam’zelle trying to stifle a squeal of laughter. she rushed away hurriedly. miss potts stared after her uncomfortably. what was up with mam’zelle?
mam’zelle strolled down the field by herself, trying to recover. she gave a few loud gulps that made two second-formers wonder if she was going to be ill.
poor mam’zelle felt she couldn’t flash her teeth at anyone for a long time, for if she did she would explode like irene. she decided to go in. she turned her steps towards the school—and then, to her utter horror, she saw miss grayling, the head mistress, bearing down on her with two parents! mam’zelle gave an anguished look and hurried on as fast as she could.
“oh—there’s mam’zelle,” said miss grayling’s pleasant voice. “mam’zelle, will you meet mrs. jennings and mrs. petton?”
mam’zelle was forced to go to them. she lost all desire for laughter at once. the trick teeth suddenly stopped being funny, and became monstrosities to be got rid of at once. but how? she couldn’t spit them into her handkerchief with people just about to shake hands with her.
mrs. jennings held out her hand. “i’ve heard so much about you, mam’zelle dupont,” she said, “and what tricks the naughty girls play on you, too!”
mam’zelle tried to smile without opening her mouth at all, and the effect was rather peculiar—a sort of suppressed snarl. mrs. jennings looked surprised. mam’zelle tried to make up for her lack of smile by shaking mrs. jennings’ hand very vigorously indeed.
she did the same with mrs. petton, who turned out to be a talkative mother who wanted to know exactly how her daughter teresa was getting on in french. she smiled gaily at mam’zelle while she talked, and mam’zelle found it agony not to smile back. she had to produce the suppressed snarl again, smiling with her mouth shut and her lips firmly over her teeth.
miss grayling was startled by this peculiar smile. she examined mam’zelle closely. mam’zelle’s voice was not quite as usual either—it sounded thick. “as if her mouth is too full of teeth,” thought miss grayling, little knowing that she had hit on the exact truth.
at last the mothers went. mam’zelle shook hands with them most vigorously once more, and was so relieved at parting from them that she forgot herself and gave them a broad smile.
they got a full view of the terrible teeth, miss grayling, too. the head stared in the utmost horror—what had happened to mam’zelle’s teeth? had she had her old ones out—were these a new, false set? but how terrible they were! they made her look like the wolf in the tale of red riding hood.
the two mothers turned their heads away quickly at the sight of the teeth. they hurried off with miss grayling who hardly heard what they said, she was so concerned about mam’zelle’s teeth. she determined to send for mam’zelle that evening and ask her about them. really—she couldn’t allow any of her staff to go about with teeth like that! they were monstrous, hideous!
mam’zelle was so thankful to see the last of the mothers that she hurried straight into a little company of fifth-formers going back to the school, some to do their piano practice and some to have a lesson in elocution.
“hallo, mam’zelle!” said mavis. “are you coming back to school?”
mam’zelle smiled. the fifth-formers got a dreadful shock. they stared in silent horror. the teeth had slipped a little, and now looked rather like fangs. they gave mam’zelle a most sinister, big-bad-wolf look. mam’zelle saw their alarm and astonishment. laughter surged back into her. she felt it swelling up and up. she gasped. she gulped. she roared.
she sank on to a bench and cried with helpless laughter. she remembered matron’s face—and miss grayling’s—and the faces of the two mothers. the more she thought of them the more helplessly she laughed. the girls stood round, more alarmed than ever. what was the matter with mam’zelle? what was this enormous joke?
mam’zelle’s teeth slipped out altogether, fell on to her lap, and then to the ground. the girls stared at them in the utmost amazement, and then looked at mam’zelle. she now looked completely normal, with just her own small teeth showing in her laughing face. she laughed on and on when she saw her trick teeth lying there before her.
“it is a treek,” she squeaked at last, wiping her eyes with her handkerchief. “did you not give me a dare? did you not tell me to do a treek on you? i have done one with the teeth. they are treek teeth. oh, là là—i must laugh again. oh my sides, oh my back!”
she swayed to and fro, laughing. the girls began to laugh, too. mam’zelle rougier came up, astonished to see the other french mistress laughing so much.
“what is the matter?” she asked, without a smile on her face.
irene did one of her explosions. she pointed to the teeth on the ground. “mam’zelle wore them—for a trick—and they’ve fallen out and given the game away!”
she went off into squeals of laughter again, and the other girls joined in. mam’zelle rougier looked cold and disapproving.
“i see no joke,” she said. “it is not funny, teeth on the grass. it is time to see the dentist when that happens.”
she walked off, and her speech and disapproving face sent everyone into fits of laughter again. it was altogether a most successful afternoon for mam’zelle, and the “treek” story flew all through the school immediately.
mam’zelle suddenly found herself extremely popular, except with the staff. “a little undignified, don’t you think?” said miss williams.
“not a thing to do too often, mam’zelle,” said miss potts, making up her mind to remove the trick booklets from mam’zelle’s desk at the first opportunity.
“glad you’ve lost those frightful teeth,” said matron, bluntly. “don’t do that again without warning me, mam’zelle. i got the shock of my life.”
but the girls loved mam’zelle for her “treek”, and every class in the school, from top to bottom, worked twice as hard (or so mam’zelle declared) after she had played her truly astonishing “treek”!
