wednesday, july 1, 1942

dearest kitty,

until today i honestly couldn't find the time to write you. i was with friends all day thursday, we had company on friday, and that's how it went until today.

hello and i have gotten to know each other very well this past week, and he's told me a lot about his life. he comes from gelsenkirchen and is living with his grandparents. his parents are in belgium, but there's no way he can get there. hello used to have a girlfriend named ursula. i know her too. she's perfectly sweet and perfectly boring. ever since he met me, hello has realized that he's been falling asleep at ursul's side. so i'm kind of a pep tonic. you never know what you're good for!

jacque spent saturday night here. sunday afternoon she was at hanneli's, and i was bored stiff.

hello was supposed to come over that evening, but he called around six. i answered the phone, and he said, "this is helmuth silberberg. may i please speak to anne?"

"oh, hello. this is anne."

"oh, hi, anne. how are you?" "

"fine, thanks."

"i just wanted to say i'm sorry but i can't come tonight, though i would like to have a word with you. is it all right if i come by and pick you up in about ten minutes "

"yes, that's fine. bye-bye!"

"okay, i'll be right over. bye-bye!"

i hung up, quickly changed my clothes and fixed my hair. i was so nervous i leaned out the window to watch for him. he finally showed up. miracle of miracles, i didn't rush down the stairs, but waited quietly until he rang the bell. i went down to open the door, and he got right to the point.

"anne, my grandmother thinks you're too young for me to be seeing you on a regular basis. she says i should be going to the lowenbachs', but you probably know that i'm not going out with ursul anymore."

"no, i didn't know. what happened? did you two have a fight?"

"no, nothing like that. i told ursul that we weren't suited to each other and so it was better for us not to go together anymore, but that she was welcome at my house and i hoped i would be welcome at hers. actually, i thought ursul was hanging around with another boy, and i treated her as if she were. but that wasn't true. and then my uncle said i should apologize to her, but of course i didn't feel like it, and that's why i broke up with her. but that was just one of the reasons.

"now my grandmother wants me to see ursul and not you, but i don't agree and i'm not going to. sometimes old people have really old-fashioned ideas, but that doesn't mean i have to go along with them. i need my grandparents, but in a certain sense they need me too. from now on i'll be free on wednesday evenings. you see, my grandparents made me sign up for a wood-carving class, but actually i go to a club organized by the zionists. my grandparents don't want me to go, because they're anti-zionists. i'm not a fanatic zionist, but it interests me. anyway, it's been such a mess lately that i'm planning to quit. so next wednesday will be my last meeting. that means i can see you wednesday evening, saturday afternoon, saturday evening, sunday afternoon and maybe even more."

"but if your grandparents don't want you to, you? shouldn't go behind their backs."

"all's fair in love and war."

just then we passed blankevoort's bookstore and there was peter schiff with two other boys; it was the first time he'd said hello to me in ages, and it really made me feel good.

monday evening hello came over to meet father and mother. i had bought a cake and some candy, and we had tea and cookies, the works, but neither hello nor i felt like sitting stiffly on our chairs. so we went out for a walk, and he didn't deliver me to my door until ten past eight. father was furious. he said it was very wrong of me not to get home on time. i had to promise to be home by ten to eight in the future. i've been asked to hello's on saturday.

wilma told me that one night when hello was at her house, she asked him, "who do you like best, ursul or anne?"

he said, "it's none of your business."

but as he was leaving (they hadn't talked to each other the rest of the evening), he said, "well, i like anne better, but don't tell anyone. bye!" and whoosh. . . he was out the door.

in everything he says or does, i can see that hello is in love with me, and it's kind of nice for a change. margot would say that hello is eminently suitable. i think so too, but he's more than that. mother is also full of praise: "a good-looking boy. nice and polite." i'm glad he's so popular with everyone. except with my girlfriends. he thinks they're very childish, and he's right about that. jacque still teases me about him, but i'm not in love with him. not really. it's all right for me to have boys as friends. nobody minds.

mother is always asking me who i'm going to marry when i grow up, but i bet she'll never guess it's peter, because i talked her out of that idea myself, without batting an eyelash. i love peter as i've never loved anyone, and i tell myself he's only going around with all those other girls to hide his feelings for me. maybe he thinks hello and i are in love with each other, which we're not. he's just a friend, or as mother puts it, a beau.

yours, anne