theater, opera, and concert-hall

arrangements for formal and informal theater parties—the supper—the bachelor and his duties as host and as guest—dress and behavior at the theater, opera, and concert-hall.

an informal theater party may be an impromptu affair got up at short notice. it may either be a dutch treat, where every one pays for himself, or one or more persons may act as hosts and invite the others to go at their expense. if a gentleman and his wife ask another lady to accompany them, they should either call for her or invite her to dine with them. at the conclusion of the performance they should take her home, or the husband alone could do so. it is not necessary to have a carriage if the street-cars are near at hand. if two ladies living in the same house are invited, the tickets may be sent to them, asking them to meet their hosts at the theater. unless they are very young women, it will be proper for them to go together, whereas for a lady alone it would not be quite pleasant to do so. when the concert or play is over, the host will see them to their carriage or to the street-car. if the hour is late, he will offer to escort them home. if they assure him that they are not afraid to go alone, he will not insist upon doing so, unless he believes this necessary for their protection. two young and pretty women are liable to annoyance from rude passers-by at a late hour in the evening.

if a man wishes to take a young lady to the theater he must invite her mother or other chaperon to be of the party. this is a safe and excellent rule to follow, and few exceptions should be made to it. in the case of cousins or old friends it is sometimes broken, especially if the lady is not in her first youth. but young women should remember that, as the world is very censorious, one who broke this rule often would be the subject of unfavorable comment. a girl may, of course, go to the theater with her brother. the gentleman may invite a married lady to matronize the party, or he may ask the girl to choose her own chaperon. he calls for both his guests; first for the matron, then for the young lady. at the close of the performance he escorts them both to their houses, leaving the younger woman first at her residence, and then the elder one at hers. where the chaperon has been provided by the girl, the man may, if he prefers, send them the tickets and meet them at the theater or concert-hall, waiting for them in the lobby. he would certainly offer at least to escort them home, unless they were going in a carriage. in this case he would content himself with asking the man at the door to call it, or going to find it himself, should this be necessary, and putting them safely into their own conveyance. he should endeavor to find a sheltered place for them to stand pending the arrival of the vehicle, and keep a sharp lookout himself lest the carriage lose its place in the line and so make the ladies wait for an undue length of time.

for a large and formal theater party, it is usual to invite the guests to dinner, or to supper after the play or opera. in either case they assemble at the house of the hostess, who provides an omnibus, automobile, or other conveyance to take them to and from the playhouse. she must name an hour early enough to enable the party to reach the opera-house or theater in good season. if she asks her friends to dine with her, she should for the same reason avoid a long bill of fare. the guests should be careful to come punctually. should any of them be detained, they should telephone and ask the hostess not to wait for them. to fail to keep an engagement for dinner is considered one of the gravest social sins. how much worse it is to spoil a theater party in addition by remaining away after promising to come!

the affair is more likely to go off well if the hostess introduces those guests who do not already know one another. wholesale introductions are now thought awkward and undesirable; hence it is better to make the presentations gradually, one or two at a time. those who are to sit next each other should certainly be introduced. it is well to plan beforehand the seating of the guests. if the hostess has a party of young people and is quite at a loss as to their preferences, she may like to consult one of them beforehand on this important matter. to each man should be handed two tickets. these may be inclosed in an envelope, with a card bearing the name of the lady who is to sit next him at the theater. she also receives an envelope containing the name of her theater partner. this arrangement is convenient where many people go together. if the party were to sit in a private box it would be unnecessary. there the ladies sit in front, the gentlemen behind. the older women are offered the best seats, but usually prefer to let the younger ones take the places where they can see and be seen. at the close of the performance the theater-carriage conveys all to their homes, leaving the women guests first, the hostess next, the men last of all, although the latter often choose to walk.

if there is to be a supper, it may be either at the house of the hostess or at a restaurant of unblemished reputation. the meal may be simple or elaborate. a course supper is very much like a dinner or luncheon, except that it is less formal and the bill of fare is lighter and daintier. few people care to eat a heavy meal late in the evening. raw oysters or little neck clams, bouillon in cups, an entrée of some sort, salad with or without game, ices, fruit, bonbons, and black coffee may be served in the order named by those who care for a full menu. for a theater party it is not necessary to offer such an elaborate bill of fare. oysters, cold chicken with salad, and ices are quite enough for the hostess to provide. a chafing-dish supper produces much fun and jollity among young people, or among those who know one another well. it is not to be recommended for all sorts and conditions of men, however. an informal meal of this sort would jar upon the taste of those persons who like to have everything done according to conventional methods and in a stereotyped fashion. the chafing-dish sets and stands now furnish every convenience for preparing readily one or more hot dishes. welsh rarebit, oysters, lobster, eggs, and mushrooms are all excellent cooked in this way, to say nothing of the more complicated dishes which require an expert to handle successfully. where the supper is given at the house of the hostess, their maids call for the young ladies there, and it is not necessary for her to send them home.

if a bachelor wishes to give a theater party, and to invite young women to be his guests, he must engage some married lady of good social position and of a certain age to act as chaperon. a young married woman is sometimes as full of fun and high spirits as a girl. no one objects to her natural gaiety if she keeps it within due bounds. but it is not considered quite the thing for a woman of this sort to matronize young girls. a chaperon should have the dignity which years and experience bestow, though she need not be dull and stupid. the guests all meet at the residence of this lady, the bachelor host arriving a little earlier than the rest in order to receive his friends, to introduce them to the chaperon, and to make such other introductions as the occasion demands. people of moderate means go to the theater in the street-cars if the evening is pleasant. the more elegant method is to provide a theater-carriage; but not every bachelor can afford so much expense as this would involve. he should, however, pay his guests’ fare, and for this purpose it is well to buy car tickets beforehand. otherwise another man of the party may reach the ticket-booth first and purchase them before the host has an opportunity to do so.

at the theater or concert-hall the ladies are permitted to pass through the wicket first, the host standing on one side and showing the tickets. he precedes the rest of the party going down the aisle to the seats, in order to point out to all where they are to sit. it may be arranged to have the chaperon go in first and take the innermost seat, or she may be placed next the host, who sits nearest the aisle.

our bachelor may take the party to a restaurant for supper, to his club if this possesses a dining-room for ladies, or to his own apartment or studio, should this be large enough and conveniently located. in either of the first two cases the table should be engaged and the menu made out beforehand. if supper is to be given in his own rooms, he should have one or more competent persons to set the table, do any cooking that may be necessary, and have all in readiness on the arrival of the party. there should also be one or more servants to wait on the table, unless the affair is an extremely informal one. the host leads the way to the dining-room, all following without ceremony. the chaperon sits at his right, or on the opposite side of the table. when supper is over he may escort her, together with the young women, to her house, or the theater-carriage may leave them at their houses, provided the matron of the occasion is of the party and remains with it until all the young girls have been taken to their respective residences. the host gets out first, assists each of his fair guests in turn to alight, opens the door for her with the latch-key or rings the bell, and does not leave her until she has been admitted to the house. where the theater party is given by a lady, the gentleman sitting nearest the door of the conveyance performs this service, unless there is a footman in attendance.

evening dress is the proper costume for men at all performances at the opera, theater, and concert-hall that take place in the evening. this is de rigueur for a theater party, and at the grand opera under all circumstances. for english opera and informal excursions to the theater, the dinner-jacket is often worn. indeed, our countrymen are very independent in these matters and claim the right to dress as they please. in europe the rules are stricter. a gentleman of my acquaintance once went to the opera in paris, in the days of the old régime, wearing an ordinary black coat. he was refused admission on the ground that evening dress was necessary. being a yankee of an ingenious turn of mind, he went out, procured a paper of pins, fastened up the offending coat-tails into the required shape, and again presented himself at the opera-house. the authorities, arguing doubtless that he had fulfilled the letter of the law, admitted him, so admirable is the logic of the frenchman!

the proper costume for women at the theater and opera is evening dress. at the grand opera in new york and other large cities, many ladies wear décolleté gowns, together with a great deal of jewelry, although, as we have said elsewhere, this is by no means a universal custom. all who sit either in the boxes or in the orchestra seats appear in handsome toilettes and wear long white or black kid gloves. a long evening wrap made of silk, satin, or other expensive material forms an important part of opera costume. one sees only a sprinkling of low-necked gowns at the theater, american ladies usually preferring to appear there in dresses either high-necked or only slightly cut down. many wear a pretty, light-colored, dressy waist with a dark skirt, since the latter shows little, unless one is sitting in a private box. for a concert the costume is the same as for the theater. something will depend on the season of the year, the nature of the occasion, and the locality. for a special performance, with high-priced tickets, the costumes would be more elaborate than for one with an ordinary programme.

good form demands that we should always be mindful of the rights, comfort, and pleasure of other people when we attend a theatrical or a musical performance. the persons composing the audience have paid for their seats, in the great majority of cases at least, and it is extremely ill-bred to interfere with their pleasure by talking or laughing. the men and women who fancy that it is smart to do so show themselves lacking in true politeness. one should endeavor to be punctual, in order not to disturb one’s neighbors after the curtain has gone up or the music has begun. some one has to come last, of course, and the earlier arrivals should stand up and allow the seats of their chairs to fold back in order to allow people to pass by them with as little discomfort as possible. a man sitting next the aisle should step into it when a lady is about to pass in. it is courteous but not obligatory for the latter to do the same thing. those who arrive after the performance has begun should remove their wraps before they go to their seats, in order not to obscure their neighbor’s view of the stage while they are doing so. they must also be careful not to disturb the latter by rising or bustling about toward the end of the play. the going in and out between the acts is rather trying to those who are obliged to rise constantly in order to let others pass by. hence, unless one has an aisle seat, it is best to go out only once in the course of the evening. where a large number of the audience do so, as at the opera, the case is different. the walking up and down the foyer and the corridors, the consuming of ices and lemonade, are often a part of the regular programme. one should be careful to return to one’s seat when the warning-bell rings.

it is now thoroughly understood that all ladies should remove their hats at the theater, opera, and concert-hall. occasionally they are kind enough to do so at a lecture. a man who is with a party of ladies may excuse himself for a short absence, if he sees some one to whom he wishes especially to speak. but if he should do so often, he would be thought neglectful and lacking in courtesy by the members of his party. if he is acting as escort to one lady, he should not leave her in order to speak to any one else, unless another man should come to talk to her, in which case he could excuse himself, but should return before the curtain rises again.