tupman has a love-affair with a spinster, and
the pickwickians find out the real
character of jingle
next day a military drill was held just outside the town and the pickwickians went to see it. in the confusion of running officers and prancing horses they became separated from one another. mr. pickwick, snodgrass and winkle found themselves between two lines of troops, in danger of being run down. at this moment they saw tupman standing in an open carriage near by and, hurrying to it, were hoisted in.
the carriage belonged to a short, stout old gentleman named wardle who had attended some of the club's meetings in london and knew mr. pickwick by sight. he lived at a place near by called dingley dell, from which he had driven to see the drill, with his old maid sister and his own two pretty daughters. fastened behind was a big hamper of lunch and on the box was a fat boy named joe, whom mr. wardle kept as a curiosity because he did nothing but eat and sleep. joe went on errands fast asleep and snored as he waited on the table. he had slept all through the roaring of the cannon and the old gentleman had to pinch him awake to serve the luncheon.
they had a merry time that day, tupman being[pg 219] deeply smitten with the charms of the elderly miss wardle, and snodgrass no less in love with emily, one of the pretty daughters. when the review was over the old gentleman invited them all to visit dingley dell next day.
early in the morning they set out, mr. pickwick driving tupman and snodgrass in a chaise, while winkle rode on horseback to uphold his reputation as a sportsman. mr. pickwick was distrustful of the horse he hired, but the hostler assured him that even a wagon-load of monkeys with their tails burnt off would not make him shy.
winkle had never ridden a horse before, but he was ashamed to admit it.
for a while all went well; then the luckless winkle dropped his whip and when he dismounted the horse would not let him mount again. mr. pickwick got out of the chaise to help, and at this the animal jerked the bridle away and trotted home. hearing the clatter the other horse bolted, too. snodgrass and tupman jumped for their lives and the chaise was smashed to pieces against a wooden bridge. with difficulty the horse was freed from the ruins and, leading him, the four friends walked the seven miles to dingley dell, where they found mr. wardle and the fat boy, the latter fast asleep as usual, posted in the lane to meet them.
brushes, a needle and thread and some cherry-brandy soon cured their rents and bruises and they forgot their misfortunes in an evening of pleasure.[pg 220] mr. wardle's mother was a deaf old lady with an ear-trumpet, who loved to play whist. when she disliked a person she would pretend she could not hear a word he said, but mr. pickwick's jollity and compliments made her forget even to use her ear-trumpet. tupman flirted with the spinster aunt and snodgrass whispered poetry into emily's ear to his heart's content.
next morning mr. wardle took winkle rook-shooting. the pair set out with their guns, preceded by the fat boy and followed by mr. pickwick, snodgrass and the corpulent tupman. winkle, who disliked to admit his ignorance of guns, showed it in a painful way. his first shot missed the birds, and lodged itself in the arm of tupman, who fell to the ground. the confusion that followed can not be described. they bound up his wounds and supported him to the house, where the ladies waited at the garden gate, mr. wardle calling out to them not to be frightened.
the warning, however, had no effect on the spinster aunt. at the sight of her tupman wounded, she began to scream. old mr. wardle told her not to be a fool, but tupman was affected almost to tears and spoke her name with such romantic tenderness that the poor foolish lady felt quite a flutter at her heart.
a surgeon found the wound a slight one, and as a cricket match was to be played that day, the host[pg 221] left tupman in the care of the ladies and carried off the others to the game.
when they reached the field, the first words that fell on mr. pickwick's ear made him start:
"this way—capital fun—glorious day—make yourself at home—glad to see you—very." it was jingle, still clad in his faded green coat. he had fallen in with the visiting players, and by telling wonderful tales of the games he had played in the west indies, soon convinced them he was a great cricket player. seeing him greet mr. pickwick, mr. wardle, thinking him a friend of his guest, procured him an invitation to the dinner that followed the match. there jingle made good use of his time in eating and drinking, and at midnight was heard leading with great effect the chorus:
"we won't go home till morning."
meanwhile, the romantic tupman at dingley dell had been free to woo the middle-aged spinster. this he did with such success that when evening came, he and she sat together in a vine-covered arbor in the garden like a pair of carefully folded kid gloves—bound up in each other. he had just printed a kiss on her lips when both looked up to see the fat boy, perfectly motionless, staring into the arbor.
"supper's ready," said the fat boy, and his look was so blank that they both concluded he must have been asleep and had seen nothing.[pg 222]
it was long past midnight when a tremendous noise told that the absent ones had returned. all rushed to the kitchen, where jingle's voice was heard crying: "cricket dinner—glorious party—capital songs—very good—wine ma'am—wine!" mr. pickwick, snodgrass and winkle went to bed, but the talkative jingle remained with the ladies and before they retired had made tupman almost mad with jealousy by his attentions to the spinster aunt, who showed herself greatly pleased with his politeness.
now the fat boy, for once in his life, had not been asleep when he had announced supper that evening. he had seen tupman's love-making, and took the first occasion to tell the deaf old lady, as she sat in the garden arbor next morning. he was obliged to shout it in her ear, and thus the whole story was overheard by jingle, who happened to be near.
the deceitful jingle saw in this a chance to benefit himself. the spinster, he thought, had money; what could he better do than turn her against tupman, and marry her himself? with this plan he went to tupman, recited what the fat boy had told, and advised him, for a time, in order to throw off the suspicions of the old lady and of mr. wardle, to pay special attention to one of the younger daughters and to pretend to care nothing for the spinster. he told tupman that the latter herself had made this plan and wished him to carry it out[pg 223] for her sake. tupman, thinking it the wish of his lady-love, did this with such success that the old lady concluded the fat boy must have been dreaming.
the spinster, however, thought tupman false, and jingle used the next few days to make such violent love to her that the silly creature believed him, forgot tupman, and agreed to run away with the deceiver to london.
there was great excitement when their absence was discovered, and the wrathful mr. wardle and mr. pickwick pursued them at once in a four-horse chaise. they rode all night and, reaching london, at once began to inquire at various inns to find a trace of the runaway pair.
they came at length to one called the white hart, in whose courtyard a round-faced man-servant was cleaning boots. this servant, whose name was sam weller, wore a coat with blue glass buttons, a bright red handkerchief tied around his neck and an old white hat stuck on the side of his head. he spoke with a quaint country accent, but he was a witty fellow, with a clever answer for every one.
"werry well, i'm agreeable," he said when mr. pickwick gave him a gold piece. "what the devil do you want with me, as the man said when he see the ghost?"
with sam weller's aid, they soon found that jingle and the spinster were there, and entered the[pg 224] room in which the couple sat at the very moment jingle was showing the marriage license which he had just brought. the spinster at once went into violent hysterics, and jingle, seeing the game was up, accepted the sum of money which mr. wardle offered him to take himself off.
there were deep lamentations when the confiding spinster found herself deserted by the faithless jingle, and slowly and sadly mr. pickwick and mr. wardle bore her back to dingley dell.
the heartbroken tupman had already left there, and with feelings of gloom mr. pickwick, with snodgrass and winkle, also departed.
