our neighbourhood is very genteel. i doubt if any one who has not lived in philadelphia can imagine how genteel it is. visitors from out of town are wont to sigh with rapture when they see our trim blocks of tall brick dwellings—that even cornice running in a smooth line for several hundred yards really is quite a sight—and exclaim, “oh, i wish we had something like this in new york!” but our gentility is a little self-conscious, for we live on the very frontier of a region, darker in complexion, which is far from scrupulous in deportment. uproarious and na?ve are the humours of south street, lying just behind us. stanleys have gone exploring thither and come back with merry tales. south street on a bright evening, its myriad barber shops gleaming with lathered dusky cheeks, wafting the essence of innumerable pomades and lotions, that were a travel indeed. on south street the veins of life run close to the surface.
we are no less human on our street, but it takes a bit more study to get at the secret. there is a certain reticence about us. it would take an earthquake to cause much fraternization along pine street.[pg 132] perhaps it is because three houses out of every four bear the tablets of doctors. the average layman fears to stop and speak to his neighbour for fear it will develop into a professional matter. we board up our front windows at night with heavy wooden shutters. we have no druggists, only “apothecaries.” these apothecaries are closed on sundays. they sell stamps in little isinglass capsules, to be quite sanitary, two twos in a capsule for five cents. in their shops you can still get soda water with “plain cream” and shaved ice, such as was customary twenty-five years ago. when our doctors go away for the summer, someone comes twice a week from june to october to polish up the little silver name plate. it is the custom in our neighbourhood (so one observes through drawing room windows) to have reading lamps with rosy pink shades and at least two beautiful daughters of débutante age. i hope i am not unjust, but our street looks to me like the kind of place where people take warm baths, in a roomy old china tub, on sunday afternoons. after that, they go downstairs and play a hymn on the piano, at twilight.
p133
there are a number of very odd features about our neighbourhood. there is a large schoolhouse at the next corner, but as far as i can see, it is not used as a school, not for children, at any rate. sometimes, about 8 o'clock in the evening, i see the building gloriously illuminated, and a lonely lady stooped and[pg 133] assiduous at a table. she seems quite solitary. perhaps her researches are so poignant that the school board has prescribed entire silence. but midway down the block is a very jolly little private school, to which very genteel children may be seen approaching early in the morning. the little girls come with a bustle of starch, on foot, accompanied by governesses; the small boys arrive in limousines. they are small boys dressed very much in the english manner, with heavy woollen stockings ending just below the knee. they probably do not realize that their tailor has carefully planned them to look like dear little english boys. then there is a very mysterious small theatre near by. if it were a movie theatre, what a boon it would be! but no, it is devoted to a strange cult called the religion of[pg 134] business, which meets there on sundays. before that, there was a korean congress there. there is a lovely green room in this theatre, but not much long green in the box office. philadelphia prefers al jolson to hank ibsen.
we have our tincture of vie de bohème, though, in our little french table d'h?te, a thoroughly atmospheric place. delightful madame b., with her racy philosophy of life, what delicious soups and salads she serves! happy indeed are those who have learned the way to her little tables, and heard her cheerful cry “à la cuisine!” when one of her small dogs prowls into the dining room. equally unique is the old curiosity shop near by, one of the few genuine “notion” shops left in the city (though there is a delightful one on market street near seventeenth, to enter which is to step into a country village). this is just the kind of shop bought by the old gentleman in one of frank stockton's agreeable tales, “mr. tolman,” in the volume called “the magic egg”. the proprietress, charming and conversable lady, will sell you anything in the “notions” line, from a paper of pins to garter elastic. then there is the laundry, whose patrons carry on a jovial game known as “looking for your own.” every week, by some cheery habit of confusion, the lists are lost, and one hunts through shelves of neatly piled and crisply laundered garments to pick out one's own collars, pyjamas, or whatever it may be. the amusing[pg 135] humour of this pastime must be experienced to be understood.
the little cigar and magazine shop on the corner is the political and social focus of the neighbourhood. i shall never forget the pallid and ghastly countenance of the newsdealer when the rumour first went the rounds that “hampy” was elected. every evening a little gathering of local sages meets in the shop; on tilted chairs, in a haze of tobacco, they while the hours away. in tobacco the host adheres to the standard blends, but in literature he is enterprising. until recently this was the only place i know in philadelphia where one could get the illustrated london news every week.
there are twinges of modernity going on along our street. some of the old houses have been remodeled into apartments. there is an “electric shoe repairer” just round the corner. but the antique dealers and plumbers for which the street is famous still hold sway; the fine old brick pavement still collects rain water in its numerous dimpled hollows, and the yellowish marble horse-blocks adorn the curb. the nice shabby stables in the little side streets have not yet been turned into studios by artists, and the neighbourhood's youngest urchins set sail for rittenhouse square every morning on their fleet of “kiddie-cars.” their small stout legs, twinkling along the pavements in white gaiters on a wintry day, are a pleasant sight. even our urchins are notably gen[pg 136]teel. surrounded on all sides by the medical profession, they are reared on registered milk and educator crackers. if philadelphia ever betrays its soul, it does so on this delightful, bland, and genteel highway.
