when judy cronin first saw the topless towers of manhattan rising into the lilac vagueness of a foggy winter morning she passed into a numb and frightened daze. standing on the steerage deck of the celtic, she peered tremulously at those fantastic impossible profiles of stone. perhaps you don't know what it is to be thrown, ignorant and timid, into a place where everything is utterly strange—particularly a place as huge, violent, and hasty as new york. judy, aged twenty-one, from a little village near queenstown, was incapable of distinguishing, in the roaring voice of the city, that undertone of helpful kindness that is really there. on the same steamer came the widow of a famous irish recusant and hungerstriker, and there were ten thousand people massed in west street to cheer her. judy heard the shouts of the crowd, and saw the lines of policemen on the pier. there was some of that quiet but menacing scuffling with which the various branches of the english-speaking world show their esteem for each other. judy was not familiar with that definition of a patriot as one who makes trouble for his harmless fellow-citizens; but it looked as though she was blundering into some more of the tribulations they had had at home.
at last her sister connie found her, sitting white and miserable on her very small trunk, clutching her imitation-silver coin-purse. connie had been in new york for a couple of years, and it gave her a homesick throb to see that coin-purse—one of those little metal pocketbooks with slots to hold gold sovereigns and half-sovereigns. father daly had given it to judy, years ago, but it had never had gold in the little sockets until connie sent over the passage money to bring judy to new york.
the city flashed by like a current-events film. judy found herself in a friendly lodging-house in brooklyn, kept by an irishwoman who had been kind to connie. her sister then explained matters. her own employers, with whom she had a position too good to abandon, had arranged to go south for the latter part of the winter. they had already delayed leaving so that connie could meet her sister and get her settled. they had given connie a few days' holiday for that purpose.
therefore judy must get a place as soon as possible. and that very afternoon the sisters (judy still in a kind of dreadful dream) went to the office of a brooklyn newspaper to insert an advertisement.
a great many people were watching the situations wanted columns, and the next evening, at supper-time, mrs. leland called up the lodging-house number, which had been given in the ad. connie went to the telephone. mrs. leland had a pleasant voice and “talked like gentry”, connie said. she lived in heathwood, long island, which is some twenty miles from town, and wanted a nurse to take care of two children. connie agreed to take judy out to heathwood the next morning, to see if they could come to terms. judy was inexperienced, but mrs. leland liked her looks. in short: by the time judy had been in america three days, she was installed at mrs. leland's home in the country; and a few days later connie had gone off to florida.
now judy was really very fortunate in these random proceedings, for she had found a good home under an exceptionally kind and understanding mistress. and therefore perhaps it was unreasonable of her to be so unhappy. but no one has ever demonstrated that human affairs are much controlled by reason. judy was dumbly and piteously miserable. she was homesick and lonely, and half-mad with strangeness. she was not really slow-witted; but the confusion of her spirits put her into a kind of black stupor. everything was uncouth to her: steam heat, electric light, gas-stove, telephone—even the alarm clock in her bedroom. not knowing how to turn off her radiator, and having the simple person's distrust of opening windows in a strange place, the first few nights she was sick with heat and suffocation. in her sleep she cried out indistinguishable words about being shot. in spite of mrs. leland's patient tuition, she made every possible kind of mistake. the children, with the quickness of youth, realized her inexperience and uncertainty, and played a thousand impish pranks. mrs. leland could see that the girl had been through distresses at home, and kept the evening papers, with their headlines about ireland, out of sight. but one evening, in the kitchen, judy came upon a sunday rotogravure section with pictures of burnt streets in cork. the look of the people in those photographs went through her heart. the men wearing caps, the women in shawls, something even in the shape of trouser legs and heavy shoes, reminded judy how far she was from all that she understood. it's the little things you take for granted at home that come back to hurt you when you're away. that night, sitting in her bedroom next the nursery, she shook herself ill with sobs.
one who might have helped her greatly took pains to add to her bewilderment. hattie, mrs. leland's coloured cook, a retainer of long standing, was sharply disgruntled at this new addition to the household. jealousy was the root of hattie's irritation, and it shot up a rapid foliage of poison ivy. the previous nurse, a bosom friend of hattie's own race, had been discharged in december for incompetence. moreover, hattie had not forgotten poor na?ve judy's startled look when they first encountered. judy had hardly seen a coloured person before, and was honestly alarmed. hattie, though loyal to mrs. leland in her own primitive fashion, deeply resented this interloper. the invasion proved that mrs. leland was no longer entirely dependent on the particular clique of heathwood coloured society in which hattie moved. the cook's logic was narrow but rigorous. the sooner the intruder could be discouraged out of the house, the sooner the black hussars (as heathwood ladies called the coloured colony on whom they largely relied for assistance) would resume undivided sway. mrs. leland had had a polish girl as a stop-gap for a few days after the coloured nurse left; and observing the cook's demeanour toward this unfortunate, mr. leland had remarked that hattie was working for a black christmas.
so hattie, who was sharp-tongued and very capable, hectored judy whenever she entered the kitchen, and by all the black arts at her command (which were many) added to the girl's distress. judy, in spite of her mistress's kindness, grew more and more wretched. as mr. leland said in private (pursuing the train of his previous pun), the maids were black and blue. mrs. leland, much goaded by domestic management and the care of a very small baby, began to wonder whether she had not added another child to look after rather than lightening her burdens. and then she saw that judy was on the verge of nervous collapse. she tried to hearten the girl by giving her an extra holiday. judy was given some money, packed off to the station in a taxi, and sent on her maiden trip to town in the hope that city sights and shop windows would revive her interest in life. mrs. flaherty, the lodging-house lady in brooklyn, was telephoned to, and promised to send her small boy to meet the girl at the station.
it happened to be the eve of the genial saint valentine's day. shop windows were gay with pleasantly exaggerated symbols of his romantic power. winter afternoons in the city are cruel to the unfortunate, for the throng of the streets the light and lure of the scene, make loneliness all the worse if there is trouble in your heart.
judy sat in the waiting room of the long island terminal in brooklyn, and tears were on her face. she had somehow missed mrs. flaherty's lad. then she had tried to find her way to the lodging-house, but grew more and more frightened and bewildered as she strayed. giving that up, she had gone into a movie, and there, for a while, she had been happy. the favourites of the screen are the true internationalists: they speak a language, crude though it often is, which is known from brooklyn to bombay. but then pictures were shown of scenes in ireland. she came out with cold hands, and wandered vaguely along the streets until dusk. finally, in despair, she groped back to the station at flatbush avenue, and sat forlornly on a bench, too weary and sorry even to ask how to get home.
with the unerring instinct of the stranger for choosing the wrong place, she had blundered into the downstairs station, by the train-gates, missing the waiting room above where departures are duly announced by orotund men in blue and silver. in that chilly cavern she sat, dumbly watching the press of homeward commuters laden with parcels and papers. red signboards clattered up and down over the iron gates, and she puzzled doubtfully over such names as speonk, and far rockaway. the last somehow recalled a nursery rhyme and made her feel even more lost and homesick. occasionally, with a gentle groan and rumble, an electric train slid up to the railing and stared at her with two fierce hostile eyes. the soda fountain in the corner was doing a big business: timidly she went over, feeling cold, and asked for tea. to her amazement, there were no hot drinks to be had. the people, all gulping iced mixtures, stared at her curiously. sure, this is a mad country, she thought. the clock telling the time was the only thing she could properly understand.
so it was the clock, at last, that brought her to startled action. it was getting late. a tall, good-looking fellow in a blue uniform came out of a room at the back of the station, carrying two lighted lanterns. he halted not far from where she was sitting, and compared his watch with the western union clock. of all the hundreds she had seen, he was the first who looked easily questionable. with a sudden impulse judy got up, clutching her coin-purse.
“if you please, where will i be after taking the train to heathwood?” she said, nervously.
“heathwood? the 6:18 makes heathwood. right over there, the gate's just opening. change at jamaica.”
he looked down at her, wondering but kindly. he was puzzled at the frightened way she was staring at his coat-collar; he could hardly have guessed that to wet eyes the embroidered letters had at first seemed to be liar. her puny, pinched face was streaked with tears, the red knitted muffler made her pallor even whiter. the little imitation fur trimmings on her coat sleeves and collar were worn and shabby.
“thank you,” she said, blindly, and started off for the wrong gate.
“hey!” he called, and overtook her in a few long strides. “this way, miss. got your ticket?”
in a sudden panic she opened her purse, and could not find it.
“oh, surely i've lost it,” she cried. “where's the booking office?”
“the booking office?” he said. “d'you mean the news-stand? here you are.” he picked up the ticket, which she had dropped in her nervousness.
“that's all right,” he said, encouragingly. “this train, over here. i'm one of the crew. i'll see you get there. don't worry.”
he escorted her through the gate, and found her a seat on the train, beside a stout commuter half buried in parcels.
“now you stay right here,” he said. “i'll tell you when we get to jamaica, and show you the heathwood train.” he smiled genially, and left her.
judy got out her wet handkerchief and wiped her face. as the train ran through the tunnel, she wished she had been on the inside of the seat, for the dark window would have been useful as a mirror. “he saw me crying,” she kept repeating to herself. the man beside her blanketed himself with a newspaper, and the pile of packages on his knees kept sliding over onto her lap, but she was oblivious. she was thinking of the tall man in blue with the queer cap. how kind he had been. the first real kindness she had met in all that nightmare afternoon.
presently he came through the car. she could see him far down the aisle, leaning courteously over each seat. at first she thought he was just saying a friendly word to all the passengers. sure, that's like him, she said to herself: he has a grand way with him. then she saw that he was punching tickets with a silver clipper. glory, it's the guard himself, she thought. i wonder will he speak to me again?
the man beside her thrust an arm out from his mass of bundles and held a large oblong of red-striped cardboard across in front of her face. this reminded judy of her own ticket, which was so different from her neighbour's that she worried for a moment lest it should not be valid. here was her friend, bending above her with a smile.
“everything all right?” he said. “the next stop's jamaica. that's where you get off. watch for me at this door, and i'll show you the heath-wood train.” click, click: the two tickets were punched, and he went on. judy shut up her coin purse with a snap, and began to notice the hat worn by the lady in the seat in front.
at jamaica she found him in the vestibule, his head overtopping the pushing crowd. “this way,” he said, and led her quickly across the platform. “jack,” he said to the brakeman on the other train, “tell this lady when you get to heathwood.”
“well, judy,” said mrs. leland when her nursemaid got back to the house. “how much better you look! did you have a good time?”
“oh, a grand time,” said judy. her face had a touch of colour and indeed even her awkward bog-trotting gait seemed lighter and more sprightly. “that's good,” said her mistress. “you'd better run down and get some supper before hattie puts everything away. you can put jack to bed after you've had something to eat.”
“pretty late for supper,” grumbled hattie, as judy came into the kitchen. “doan' you think i got nothing to do but wait on you?”
“i'll get my own supper,” said judy, politely. “don't you bother.”
“you've got a head on your shoulders,” said hattie, banging some dishes on to the kitchen table. “whyn't you use it and get back on time?”
“the black banshee's up in arms again,” said judy to herself. “i'll hold my peace.”
“that's the trouble with foreigners,” growled hattie. “they ain't got no sense. these irish micks come over here, puttin' on airs, where nobody wants 'em.”
judy's sallow cheek began to burn a darker tint.
“ah, nabocklish!” she said. “there's somebody loves me, at any rate.”
she hurried through supper, and ran upstairs to put jack to bed. the six-year-old was amusing himself by snapping open and shut something that gleamed in the lamplight.
“here!” she said. “what are you doing with judy's purse?”
jack looked up in surprise. it was the first time that he had heard that note of command in the meek judy's voice.
“i found it on your bureau,” he said.
“well, leave it be, darlin'.” she took it from him. “glory above, what's become of——?”
she fell on her knees on the floor and began searching.
“ah, here, 'tis!” she cried, gladly. from the rug she picked up a tiny red cardboard heart, and replaced it carefully in one of the sockets of her purse.
“what is it?” said jack, yawning.
“sure, it's my valentine!” said judy. “it ain't many girls that gets a valentine from a big handsome man like that the first time he sees them.”
i have often wondered how many of the long island trainmen use a heart-shaped punch.
