demetri left us in the cheerfully opulent reception area, where the womangianna was still at her post behind the polished counter. bright, harmless music tinkled from hiddenspeakers.
"do not leave until dark," he warned us.
edward nodded, and demetri hurried away.
gianna did not seem at all surprised by the exchange, though she did eye edward's borrowed cloak withshrewd speculation.
"are you all right?" edward asked under his breath, to low for the human woman to hear. his voice wasrough—if velvet can be rough—with anxiety. still stressed by our situation, i imagined.
"you'd better make her sit before she falls," alice said. "she's going to pieces."it was only then that i realize i was shaking, shaking hard, my entire frame vibrating until my teethchattered and the room around me seemed to wobble and blur in my eyes. for one wild second, iwondered if this was how jacob felt just before exploding into a werewolf.
i heard a sound that didn't make sense, a strange, ripping counterpart to the otherwise cheerybackground music. distracted by the shaking, i couldn't tell where it was coming from.
"shh, bella, shh," edward said as he pulled me to the sofa farthest away from the curious human at thedesk.
"i think she's having hysterics. maybe you should slap her," alice suggested.
edward threw a frantic glance at her.
then i understood. oh. the noise was me. the ripping sound was the sobs coming from my chest.
that's what was shaking me.
"it's all right, you're safe, it's all right," he chanted again and again. he pulled ne onto his lap and tuckedthe thick wool cloak around me, protecting me from his cold skin.
i knew it was stupid to react like this. who knew how much time i had to look at his race? he wassaved, and i was saved, and he could leave me as soon as we were free. to have my eyes so filled withtears that i could not see his features clearly was wasteful—insanity.
but, behind my eyes where the tears could not wash the image away, i could still see the panicked faceof the tiny woman with the rosary.
"all those people," i sobbed.
"i know," he whispered.
"it's so horrible.""yes, it is. i wish you hadn't had to see that."i rested my head against his cold chest, using the thick cloak to wipe my eyes. i took a few deep breaths,trying to calm myself.
"is there anything i can get you?" a voice asked politely. it was gianna, leaning over edward's shoulderwith a look that was both concerned and yet still professional and detached at the same time. it didn'tseem to bother her that her face was inches from a hostile vampire. she was either totally oblivious, orvery good at her job.
"no," edward answered coldly.
she nodded, smiled at me, and then disappeared.
i waited until she was out of hearing range. "does she know what's going on here?" i demanded, myvoice low and hoarse. i was getting control of myself, my breathing evening out.
"yes. she knows everything," edward told me.
"does she know they're going to kill her someday?""she's knows it's a possibility," he said.
that surprised me.
edward's face was hard to read. "she's hoping they'll decide to keep her."i felt the blood leave my face. "she wants to be one of them?"he nodded once, his eyes sharp on my face, watching my reaction.
i shuddered. "how can she want that?" i whispered, more to myself than really looking for an answer.
"how can she watch those people file through to that hideous room and want to be a part of that?"edward didn't answer. his expression twisted in response to something i'd said.
as i stared at his too beautiful face, trying to understand the change, it suddenly struck me that i wasreally here, in edward's arms, however fleetingly, and that we were not—at this exact moment—about tobe killed.
"oh, edward," i cried, and i was sobbing again. it was such a stupid reaction. the tears were too thickfor me to see his face again, and that was inexcusable. i only had until sunset for sure. like a fairy taleagain, with deadlines that ended the magic.
"what's wrong?" he asked, still anxious, rubbing my back with gentle pats.
i wrapped my arms around his neck—what was the worst he could do? just push me away—andhugged myself closer to him. "is it really sick for me to be happy right now?" i asked. my voice broketwice.
he didn't push me away. he pulled me tight against his ice-hard chest, so tight it was hard to breathe,even with my lungs securely intact. "i know exactly what you mean," he whispered. "but we have lots ofreasons to be happy. for one, we're alive.""yes," i agreed. "that's a good one.""and together," he breathed. his breath was so sweet it made my head swim.
i just nodded, sure that he did not place the same weight on that consideration as i did.
"and, with any luck, we'll still be alive tomorrow.""hopefully," i said uneasily.
"the outlook is quite good," alice assured me. she'd been so quiet, i'd almost forgotten her presence.
"i'll see jasper in less than twenty-four hours," she added in a satisfied tone.
lucky alice. she could trust her future.
i couldn't keep my eyes off of edward's face for long. i stared at him, wishing more than anything that thefuture would never happen. that this moment would last forever, or, if it couldn't, that i would stopexisting when it did.
edward stared right back at me, his dark eyes soft, and it was easy to pretend that he felt the same way.
so that's what i did. i pretended, to make the moment sweeter.
his fingertips traced the circles under my eyes. "you look so tired.""and you look thirsty," i whispered back, studying the purple bruises under his black irises.
he shrugged. "it's nothing.""are you sure? i could sit with alice," i offered, unwilling; i'd rather he killed me now than move one inchfrom where i was.
"don't be ridiculous." he sighed; his sweet breath caressed my face. "i've never been in better control ofthat side of my nature than right now."i had a million questions for him. one of them bubbled to my lips now, but i held my tongue. i didn'twant to ruin the moment, as imperfect as it was, here in this room that made me sick, under the eyes ofthe would-be monster.
here in his arms, it was so easy to fantasize that he wanted me. i didn't want to think about hismotivations now—about whether he acted this way to keep me calm while we were still in danger, or ifhe just felt guilty for where we were and relieved that he wasn't responsible for my death. maybe the timeapart had been enough that i didn't bore him for the moment. but it didn't matter. i was so much happierpretending.
i lay quiet in his arms, re-memorizing his face, pretending…he stared at my face like he was doing the same, while he and alice discussed how to get home. theirvoices were so quick and low that i knew gianna couldn't understand. i missed half of it myself. itsounded like more theft would be involved, though. i wondered idly if the yellow porsche had made itback to its owner yet.
"what was all that talk about singers?" alice asked at one point.
"la tua cantante," edward said. his voice made the words into music.
"yes, that," alice said, and i concentrated for a moment. i'd wondered about that, too, at the time.
i felt edward shrug around me. "they have a name for someone who smells the way bella does to me.
they call her my singer—because her blood sings for me."alice laughed.
i was tired enough to sleep, but i fought against the weariness. i wasn't going to miss a second of the timei had with him. now and then, as he talked with alice, he would lean down suddenly and kiss me—hisglass-smooth lips brushing against my hair, my forehead, the tip of my nose. each time it was like anelectric shock to my long dormant heart. the sound of its beating seemed to fill the entire room.
it was heaven—right smack in the middle of hell.
i lost track of the time completely. so when edward's arms tightened around me, and both he and alicelooked to the back of the room with wary eyes, i panicked. i cringed into edward's chest as alec—hiseyes now a vivid ruby, but still spotless in his light gray suit despite the afternoon meal—walked throughthe double doors.
it was good news.
"you're free to leave now," alec told us, his tone so warm you'd think we were all lifelong friends. "weask that you don't linger in the city."edward made no answering pretence; his voice was ice cold. "that won't be a problem."alec smiled, nodded, and disappeared again.
"follow the right hallway around the corner to the first set of elevators," gianna told us as edward helpedme to my feet. "the lobby is two floors down, and exits to the street. goodbye, now," she addedpleasantly. i wondered if her competence would be enough to save her.
alice shot her a dark look.
i was relieved there was another way out; i wasn't sure if i could handle another tour through theunderground.
we left through a tastefully luxurious lobby. i was the only one who glanced back at the medieval castlethat housed the elaborate business facade i couldn't see the turret from here, for which i was grateful.
the party was still in full swing in the streets. the street lamps were just coming on as we walked swiftlythrough the narrow, cobbled lanes. the sky was a dull, fading gray overhead, but the buildings crowdedthe streets so closely that it felt darker.
the party was darker, too. edward's long, trailing cloak did not stand out in the way it might have on anormal evening in volterra. there were others in black satin cloaks now, and the plastic fangs i'd seen onthe child in the square today seemed to be very popular with the adults.
"ridiculous," edward muttered once.
i didn't notice when alice disappeared from beside me. i looked over to ask her a question, and she wasgone.
"where's alice?" i whispered in a panic.
"she went to retrieve your bags from where she stashed them this morning."i'd forgotten that i had access to a toothbrush. it brightened my outlook considerably.
"she's stealing a car, too, isn't she?" i guessed.
he grinned. "not till we're outside."it seemed like a very long way to the entryway. edward could see that i was spent; he wound his armaround my waist and supported most of my weight as we walked.
i shuddered as he pulled me through the dark stone archway. the huge, ancient portcullis above was likea cage door, threatening to drop on us, to lock us in.
he led me toward a dark car, waiting in a pool of shadow to the right of the gate with the engine running.
to my surprise, he slid into the backseat with me, instead of insisting on driving.
alice was apologetic. "i'm sorry." she gestured vaguely toward the dashboard. "there wasn't much tochoose from." "it's fine, alice." he grinned. "they can't all be 911 turbos."she sighed. "i may have to acquire one of those legally. it was fabulous.""i'll get you one for christmas," edward promised.
alice turned to beam at him, which worried me, as she was already speeding down the dark and curvyhillside at the same time.
"yellow," she told him.
edward kept me tight in his arms. inside the gray cloak, i was warm and comfortable. more thancomfortable.
"you can sleep now, bella," he murmured. "it's over."i knew he meant the danger, the nightmare in the ancient city, but i still had to swallow hard before icould answer.
"i don't want to sleep. i'm not tired." just the second part was a lie. i wasn't about to close my eyes. thecar was only dimly lit by the dashboard controls, but it was enough that i could see his face.
he pressed his lips to the hollow under my ear. "try," he encouraged.
i shook my head.
he sighed. "you're still just as stubborn."i was stubborn; i fought with my heavy lids, and i won.
the dark road was the hardest part; the bright lights at the airport in florence made it easier, as did thechance to brush my teeth and change into clean clothes; alice bought edward new clothes, too, and heleft the dark cloak on a pile of trash in an alley. the plane trip to rome was so short that there wasn'treally a chance for the fatigue to drag me under. i knew the flight from rome to atlanta would be anothermatter entirely, so i asked the flight attendant if she could bring me a coke.
"bella," edward said disapprovingly. he knew my low tolerance for caffeine.
alice was behind us. i could hear her murmuring to jasper on the phone.
"i don't want to sleep," i reminded him. i gave him an excuse that was believable because it was true. "ifi close my eyes now, i'll see things i don't want to see. i'll have nightmares."he didn't argue with me after that.
it would have been a very good time to talk, to get the answers i needed—needed but not really wanted;i was already despairing at the thought of what i might hear. we had an uninterrupted block of tirreahead of us, and he couldn't escape me on an airplane—well, not easily, at least. no one would hear usexcept alice; it was late, and most of the passengers were turning off lights and asking for pillows inmuted voices. talk would help me fight off the exhaustion.
but, perversely, i bit my tongue against the flood of questions. my reasoning was probably flawed byexhaustion, but i hoped that by postponing the discussion, i could buy a few more hours with him atsome later time—spin this out for another night, scheherazade-style.
so i kept drinking soda, and resisting even the urge to blink. edward seemed perfectly content to holdme in his arms, his fingers tracing my face again and again. i touched his face, too. i couldn't stop myself,though i was afraid it would hurt me later, when i was alone again. he continued to kiss my hair, myforehead, my wrists… but never my lips, and that was good. after all, how many ways can one heart bemangled and still be expected to keep beating? i'd lived through a lot that should have finished me in thelast few days, but it didn't make me feel strong. instead, i felt horribly fragile, like one word could shatterme.
edward didn't speak. maybe he was hoping i would sleep. maybe he had nothing to say.
i won the fight against my heavy lids. i was awake when we reached the airport in atlanta, and i evenwatched the sun beginning to rise over seattle's cloud cover before edward slid the window shut. i wasproud of myself. i hadn't missed one minute.
neither alice nor edward was surprised by the reception that waited for us at sea-tac airport, but itcaught me off guard. jasper was the first one i saw—he didn't seem to see me at all. his eyes were onlyfor alice. she went quickly to his side; they didn't embrace like other couples meeting there. they onlystared into each other's faces, yet, somehow, the moment was so private that i still felt the need to lookaway.
carlisle and esme waited in a quiet corner far from the line for the metal detectors, in the shadow of awide pillar. esme reached for me, hugging me fiercely, yet awkwardly, because edward kept his armsaround me, too.
"thank you so much," she said in my ear.
then she threw her arms around edward, and she looked like she would be crying if that were possible.
"youwill never put me through :hat again," she nearly growled.
edward grinned, repentant. "sorry, mom.""thank you, bella," carlisle said. "we owe you.""hardly," i mumbled. the sleepless night was suddenly overpowering. my head felt disconnected frommy body.
"she's dead on her feet," esme scolded edward. "let's get her home."not sure if home was what i wanted at this point, i stumbled, half-blind, through the airport, edwarddragging me on one side and esme on the other. i didn't know if alice and jasper were behind us or not,and i was too exhausted to look.
i think i was mostly asleep, though i was still walking, when we reached their car. the surprise of seeingemmett and rosalie leaning against the black sedan under the dim lights of the parking garage revived mesome. edward stiffened.
"don't," esme whispered. "she feels awful.""she should," edward said, making no attempt to keep his voice down.
"it's not her fault," i said, my words garbled with exhaustion.
"let her make amends," esme pleaded. "we'll ride with alice and jasper." edward glowered at the absurdly lovely blond vampire waiting for us.
"please, edward," i said. i didn't want to ride with rosalie any more than he seemed to, but i'd causedmore than enough discord in his family.
he sighed, and towed me toward the car.
emmett and rosalie got in the front seat without speaking, while edward pulled me in the back again. iknew i wasn't going to be able to fight my eyelids anymore, and i laid my head against his chest in defeat,letting them close. i felt the car purr to life.
"edward," rosalie began.
"i know." edward's brusque tone was not generous.
"bella?" rosalie asked softly.
my eyelids fluttered open in shock. it was the first time she'd ever spoken directly to me.
"yes, rosalie?" i asked, hesitant.
"i'm so very sorry, bella. i feel wretched about every part of this, and so grateful that you were braveenough to go save my brother after what i did. please say you'll forgive me."the words were awkward, stilted because of her embarrassment, but they seemed sincere.
"of course, rosalie," i mumbled, grasping at any chance to make her hate me a little less. "it's not yourfault at all. i'm the one who jumped off the damn cliff. of course i forgive you."the words came out like mush.
"it doesn't count until she's conscious, rose," emmett chuckled.
"i'm conscious," i said; it just sounded like a garbled sigh.
"let her sleep," edward insisted, but his voice was a little warmer.
it was quiet then, except for the gentle thrum of the engine. i must have fallen asleep, because it seemedlike seconds later when the door opened and edward was carrying me from the car. my eyes wouldn'topen. at first i thought we were still at the airport.
and then i heard charlie.
"bella!" he shouted from some distance.
"charlie," i mumbled, trying to shake off the stupor.
"shh," edward whispered. "it's okay; you're home and safe. just sleep.""i can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here." charlie bellowed at edward, his voice muchcloser now.
"stop it, dad," i groaned. he didn't hear me.
"what's wrong with her?" charlie demanded.
"she's just very tired, charlie," edward assured him quietly. "please let her rest.""don't tell me what to do!" charlie yelled. "give her to me. get your hands off her!"edward tried to pass me to charlie, but i clung to him with locked, tenacious fingers. i could feel my dadyanking on my arm.
"cut it out, dad," i said with more volume. i managed to drag my lids back to stare at charlie with blearyeyes. "be mad at me."we were in front of my house. the front door was standing open. the cloud cover overhead was toothick to guess at a time of day.
"you bet i will be," charlie promised. "get inside." i'"kay. let me down," i sighed.
edward set me on my feet. i could see that i was upright, but i couldn't feel my legs. i trudged forwardanyway, until the sidewalk swirled up toward my face. edward's arms caught me before i hit theconcrete.
"just let me get her upstairs," edward said. "then i'll leave.""no," i cried, panicking. i hadn't got my answers yet. he had to stay for at least that much, didn't he?
"i won't be far," edward promised, whispering so low in my ear that charlie didn't have a hope ofhearing.
i didn't hear charlie answer, but edward headed into the house. my open eyes only made it till the stairs.
the last thing i felt was edward's cool hands prying my fingers loose from his shirt.
22 逃亡
德米特里把我们带到宽敞、明亮的服务台前，那个叫吉安娜的女人还在那个柜台上，轻快、祥和的音乐从隐藏的扩音器中传来。
“天黑之前不要离开。”他提醒我们。
爱德华点点头，德米特里匆忙离开。
吉安娜对于我们的对话一点也不惊奇，但是她狡黠地打量了爱德华借来的那件斗篷。
“你还好吧？”爱德华压低声音问我，以免那个女人听到。他的声音因为焦虑而有点儿粗糙——如果天鹅绒有时也会粗糙的话，我想他对我们的境况依然担忧。
“你最好在她倒下之前找个地方给她坐下。”爱丽丝说，“她都快崩溃了。”
这时我才意识到我在不停地颤抖，我的整个身体猛烈地抖动直到牙齿都咯咯作响，眼前一片模糊，周围的房间都摇晃着。当时有一瞬间，我感觉和雅各布蜕变成狼人那样痛苦。
我听到一个莫名的声音，一个奇怪的、尖锐的声音，和轻快的背景音乐极不协调。由于颤抖得厉害，我搞不清楚声音是从哪里传来的。
“嘘，贝拉，嘘......”爱德华把我拉到离那个好奇的女人很远的桌子旁边。
“我怀疑她正歇斯底里呢，你最好扇她一巴掌。”爱丽丝建议说。
爱德华狠狠地瞪了她一眼。
这个时侯，我才明白，那个声音是我发出来的。从我胸膛中爆发出来的呐喊，它使我浑身颤抖。
“没事了，安全了，没事了。”他不停地重复着。他把我抱到他的腿上，用斗篷垫着，把我和他冰冷的身体隔开。
我知道这个样子看起来很蠢，但是谁又能知道我还能看着他的脸多久？他没事了，我也获救了，我们出去之后他就会离开我，让自己的眼睛含满泪水而不能看清他的脸，我真是疯了。
但是，我的泪水无法洗去我双眼背后的一个形象，那个带着玫瑰花环的小女人的惶恐的脸始终在我眼前晃荡。
“那些人。”我抽噎着说。
“我知道。”他轻声说。
“太可怕了。”
“是的，我多希望你没有看到那一幕。”
我靠在他冰冷的胸膛上，用那厚厚的斗篷擦着泪水。我深吸了几口气，试图让自己平静下来。
“你需要点什么吗？”一个声音有礼貌地问道。是吉安娜，她从爱德华肩上低头看着我，眼神中流露着关心，同时又有着职业惯性的漠然。她并不害怕自己离一个吸血鬼仅仅几厘米的距离，她的工作态度一般，不是很认真但也还算是过得去。
“不需要。”爱德华冷冷地回答。
她点了点头，对我微笑了一下，离开了。
我等她走远了，问道：“她知道我们所发生的一切吗？”我的声音很低沉。我已经平静下来了，呼吸也顺畅了。
“是的，她什么都知道。”爱德华告诉我。
“她知道有一天他们会把她杀了吗？”
“她明白有这样的可能。”他说。
我很惊奇。
爱德华的脸上没有什么表情：“她希望他们能让她活下去。”
我突然觉得脸上毫无血色：“她想成为一名吸血鬼？”
他点了点头，眼睛注视着我，想看我的反应。
我打了一个冷战，“她怎么会这么想呢？”我低声对自己说，而不想得到一个回答，“她怎么可以看着这些人走进那件恐怖的房间，还想着成为他们的一员呢？”
爱德华没有回答，当他听到我的话时，他的脸上抽搐了一下。
我盯着他那俊美的脸，想猜出那下抽搐的意味，但是我突然意识到，现在我躺在爱德华的臂弯里，尽管很短暂，至少我们不会死——在那一刻。
“哦。爱德华。”我哭出声来，然后开始抽泣，多么愚蠢的行为。泪水使得我看不清他的脸，我不能原谅自己，我只有等着太阳落下，就像一个美丽的童话故事等待一个结束的终点。
“怎么了？”他焦急地问我，轻轻拍打着我的背。
我双手钩住了他的脖子——他会怎么做？把我推开吗——我更加紧紧地抱住他。“我现在觉得很幸福，难道不对吗？”我问他，声音断断续续。
他没有推开我，他把我抱得更紧了，紧得我都不能呼吸，虽然我现在呼吸已经顺畅过来了。
“我明白你的意思，”他轻声说，“但是我们有好多值得庆幸的理由。不如说，我们还活着。”
“是的，”我回答，“很好的理由。”
“还有我们还在一起。”他说。他的呼吸如此舒适，我几乎开始神游了。
我只是点点头，心里明白他在这一点上和我的看法不完全一致。
“而且，明天我们也一定会活着。”
“但愿如此。”我不安地回答。
“未来很乐观的。”爱丽丝安慰我。她一直在旁边安静地等着，我几乎忘了她的存在，“很快我就可以见到贾斯帕了。”她满意地说。
爱丽丝真幸运，她对未来还满怀信心。
我眼睛久久无法从爱德华的脸上移开，我注视着他，希望未来永远不要降临，希望这一刻可以永恒。如果不能，在未来到达的那一刻我宁愿结束生命。
爱德华也看着我，他的目光那么温和，你可以很轻易相信他也是这么想的。我就是这么做的，这样就可以使这一刻变得更加甜蜜。
他的指尖顺着我的眼睛周围滑过：“你看起来很累了。”
“你看起来很渴了。”我轻声回答，看着他黑色眼膜下方紫色的淤青。
他耸耸肩：“没关系。”
“你确信？我可以和爱丽丝坐在这等。”我不情愿地提议，我宁可他杀了我，也不想从现在这个位置移开。
“不要开玩笑了。”他叹了口气，他清新的呼吸拂过我的面颊，“我没有什么时候比现在更能控制住我的那个天性了。”
我有好多好多问题想问他，有一个已经到了舌尖了。但我还是没问，我不想破坏这样美好的时刻，虽然此时，在这个是我不舒服的房间里，面对一个潜在的吸血鬼，这样的时刻并不十全十美。
躺在他的臂弯里，很容易使我相信他需要我。我不愿去想他这么做的原因——他这样做是否只为了让我平静下来，还是他对我们的处境感到内疚，在我幸存下来后他感到如释重负？再或者我们分开的日子足够久，以至于他不介意现在的枯燥？但是，这一切都不重要。即使是自欺欺人，我也觉得很幸福。
我静静地躺在他的臂弯里，记住他的脸，自我陶醉着....
他看着我的脸好像他也在陶醉，但是同时他和爱丽丝讨论怎么回去。他们的声音很快、很低，我知道吉安娜是听不到的。我也只能听到一部分，听起来需要偷一些东西，我猜想那辆黄色的保时捷是不是已经物归原主了。
“讨论那些歌手干什么？"爱丽丝问道。
“我们的歌唱家。”爱德华说道，他说这些词的时候是用唱的。
“好的，就是她了。”爱丽丝说，我集中注意力听了一会儿，我遐想联翩。
我感觉到爱德华耸了耸肩：“每个人心中都会有个人，那个人的味道就像贝拉对我的吸引那样。他们称她是我的歌手——因为她的血液就是我的音乐。”
爱丽丝笑了。
我又累又困，但是我现在忘记了疲劳，我不愿浪费和他在一起的每一秒钟。他和爱丽丝谈话的过程中，会时不时地低头亲吻我——他光滑的嘴唇拂过我的头发、我的前额，还有我的鼻尖。每一次对我那早已臣服的心都是一次悸动，我心跳的声音仿佛响彻了整个房间。
这儿是天堂——地狱里的天堂。
我失去了对时间的感觉，当爱德华抱着我的时候，他和埃里斯的眼睛都转向那个房间，这让我感到一阵恐惧。亚力克近来的时候他的眼睛让我想到红宝石，看着他穿着干净无暇的浅灰色西装——我紧紧地靠在爱德华的身上。
他带来一个好消息。
“你们可以走了，”他说，声音很热情，好像是我们相识很久的老朋友，“你们不能在这个城市长时间停留。”
爱德华很直接，“正和我意。”
亚力可笑着点点头，然后消失了。
“沿着走廊到第一个转角做第一部电梯，”爱德华抚我起来，安娜说道，“大厅向下两层就是街道出口，再见了”她的声音让人觉得她似乎很愉快。我不知道凭她的能力她能够活多久。
爱丽丝看了看她。
知道有另一条出口让我顿时松了一口气，我不敢保证自己还有能力走过那条地下通道。
我们路过那个装修华丽的大厅。只有我回头看了那座被那些商业建筑包围的古堡，让我庆幸的是我从这儿能看到那座塔楼。
街上的狂欢这在高潮。我们穿过狭窄的胡同时，街灯也刚亮不久。天空是忧郁的浅灰色，周围密密麻麻的楼层使得天空更加的阴暗。
狂欢节看起来很消沉。
这样到显得爱德华的斗篷不那么扎眼了。别的人也有披着斗篷的，有的大人也开始带我早晨看见的那个小孩戴的塑料假牙。
“真可笑。”爱德华说到。
爱丽丝不知道什么时候消失的，我回头想和她说话时才发现她已经不在了。
“爱丽丝呢？”我有点紧张的小声问到。
“他去拿你的包，早晨来时藏起来了。”
早晨我还刷牙了呢，这让我有了些精神。
“她是不是还得偷辆车。”
爱德华笑了，“这个一会儿出去再说。”
快到入口的时候爱德华发现我走不动了，就用手搂着我的腰，好把我的重量转嫁到他身上。
我战战兢兢的任它带着我走过石门，头顶上的闸门看起来像是一个随时都会掉下来把我们罩住的笼子。
我们走到一辆黑色轿车旁，站在阴影里等着汽车发动。让人意外的是他居然没去开车，而是陪着我坐在了后面。
爱丽丝一脸歉意，“抱歉，”他指着仪表盘，“没什么车让我选。”
“不要紧爱丽丝，总不能到处都是保时捷911turbos吧。”
她谈了口气，“我应该用合法手段弄一辆。”
“圣诞节我送你一辆。”爱德华承诺到。
爱丽丝对着他微笑,这让我担心,因为与此同时她正加速把车开入黑暗且崎岖的半山腰中
“我要黄色的” 她告诉他
爱德华将我紧紧的拥入怀里,包裹在灰色斗篷下,我感到温暖且舒适
甚至比舒适的感觉更好
“你现在可以好好睡了,贝拉”他低语 “都结束了”
我知道他意思指的是在那座古老的城市中的所有危险以及噩梦,但我还是得狠狠的吞咽一大口水才能开口说话
“我不想睡,我不累” 说不累其实是骗人的,但我还是不想阖上眼睛. 整台车内只有从仪表板上传来的隐约微光,但这些光已经足够让我看见他的脸
他将唇轻轻的落在我的耳后 “试着闭上眼” 他鼓励着
我摇摇头
他叹息 “你还是这么顽固”
我很顽固;我努力抵抗我沉重的眼皮,我赢了
这黑漆漆的道路是整段旅程中最令人难受的一段, florence(意大利城市)中的机场里明亮的光线让人稍微好过些,因为这让我有个机会可以刷牙并且换套干净的衣服;爱丽丝也帮爱德华找了套新衣服,然后他将黑斗篷丢再街道上的一堆垃圾堆里. 到罗马的这段飞机旅程实在太短让我根本没机会因为疲累而昏睡过去.我知道从罗马到atlanta会是另一段长长的航程,所以我问空姐是否能帮我拿杯可乐
“贝拉,”爱德华出声表不赞同,他知道我对caffeine有很低的抵抗力
爱丽丝坐在我们后面,我听到她正低声的和贾斯帕讲电话
“我不想睡”我提醒他,我给他一个真实而且可信的理由,”如果我闭上眼睛,我会看到我不想看的东西. 我会做恶梦”
他之后没有再和我争论
这会是一个很好的谈话时刻,能听到我需要的—但不是我想要的答案,我已经准备好要为我可能听到的答案而绝望伤心了. 我们接下来有很长的一段,且不会被打扰的时间,况且他没办法从飞机上逃走—嗯,至少很不容易办到. 除了爱丽丝,没人会听到我们俩说话;已经很晚了,大部分的乘客都已熄灯且轻声的要了个枕头. 谈话能帮助我对抗疲累
但我依旧很顽强的咬住舌头不让排山倒海的疑问问出口,我想或许是因为我累了,但我希望能拖延这次谈话,这样我就能在之后能有多些时间与他相处—将这次谈话留到下一晚,scheherazade方式
所以我不停得喝可乐，甚至忍住不眨眼睛。有我在他的臂弯里，爱德华似乎非常满足，他不时地用手指碰触我的脸颊，我也抚摸着他的脸庞。我控制不住，虽然我知道这样会使分别后的时光更加难过，他不断地亲吻我的头发，我的额头和手，幸好他没有亲吻我的双唇，毕竟，说能在心碎后还能再指望强烈的心跳感觉呢？过去的几天我经历了很多苦难，但我并没有因此变得更加坚强，相反，我觉得自己极其脆弱，仿佛一句话就能把我摧毁。
爱德华没有说什么，也许他是希望我能睡着，或者他也无话可说。
我战胜了沉重的睡意，一直到达亚特兰大机场我都是睁着眼睛的，我甚至还在爱德华关上窗户之前看到了西雅图的日出，我感到满足，我没有浪费一分钟。
爱丽丝和爱德华看到西塔机场迎接我们的排场时都毫不意外，但是我却着实吃了一惊。我看到的第一个人是贾斯帕，但是他根本没有看到我，他的眼里只有爱丽丝，她快速走到他身边，他们没有像其他爱人见面那样拥抱，他们只是很深情地相互对视，我不得不转开目光。
卡莱尔和埃斯梅在离金属探测器很远的角落里等着，躲在一根柱子的阴影中。埃斯梅来到我面前，紧紧地拥抱着我，但是动作有点儿奇怪，因为爱德华的手臂一直挽着我。
“真的很感谢你。”她对我说。
然后她拥抱了爱德华，如果可以她真的想哭出来。
“你再也不要让我们这么担心了！”她几乎咆哮着说。
爱德华歉疚地笑了：“对不起，妈妈。”
“谢谢，贝拉，”卡莱尔说，“我们欠你太多了。”
“哪里。”我嘀咕着，我终于禁不住一整夜的无眠，感觉头和身体快分离了。
“她累坏了，”埃斯梅责备爱德华，“快带她回家！”
并不确定所谓的家是不是我所期望的那个，我跌跌撞撞的，半盲的穿过了机场。爱德华和埃斯梅分别在两边拖着我。我不知道爱丽丝和贾斯帕是不是在我们后面，我也没有力气再回头看了。
当我们走到车前时，我想我几乎要睡着了，尽管我仍然在行动。在停车场昏暗的光线下，看到埃美特和罗莎莉靠在黑色的轿车上的惊喜让我稍稍精神了一点儿。爱德华变的有些不自然。
“不要”埃斯梅小声说，“她感觉很难受”
“她应该的”爱德华说，毫不压抑他的声音。
“这不是她的错。”我说，我的话说的很不清楚，且极度批疲惫。
“让她道歉吧”埃斯梅恳求着。“我们和爱丽丝, 贾斯帕一起走”
爱德华愤怒的盯着等着我们的奇异的，可爱的金发吸血鬼
“贝拉，不要”我说。我不会比他更想和罗莎莉一起走，但是我已经给他的家庭造成够多的冲突了。
他叹了一口气，拉着我走向了车。
爱德华把我又一次拉近了后面。埃美特和罗莎莉沉默着坐进了前座。我知道我无法再和自己的眼皮抗争了，因此我把自己的头靠在他的胸前投降了，眼睛终于闭上了。我感觉到车子呜呜的开动了。
“爱德华” 罗莎莉说
“我知道”爱德华严厉的语气并不宽宏大量。
“贝拉？”罗莎莉轻声问道。
在震惊下，我的眼皮不停的跳着睁开了。这是她第一次直接和我说话。
“怎么了，罗莎莉?” 我犹豫的回答道。
“我真的很抱歉，贝拉。我对这一切都感到难受，并且十分感激你在我做了这一切之后，你仍然这么勇敢的去营救我的哥哥。请你说你会原谅我的。”
由于她的窘迫，这些话听起来很不自然而且很尴尬，但是他们看起来很真诚。
“当然了，罗莎莉.”我嘟囔着，贪心的抓住任何机会使得她对我的厌恶能少一点。“这不是你的错。是我跳下了哪该死的悬崖。我当然会原谅你。”
这些话听起来像是糊在了一起。
“别考虑这些了，直到她神志清醒了，罗莎莉。”埃美特咯咯的笑着
“我是清醒的”我说，只是听起来不清楚罢了。
“让她睡觉。”爱德华坚持说。但是他的嗓音听起来温和一些了。
之后一直很安静除了发动机在轻轻的敲打着。我一定已经睡着了，因为似乎几秒钟之后当门打开，爱德华把我抱出车时，我的眼睛一直没有睁开。一开始，我认为我们还在飞机场呢。
之后，我听到了查理的声音。
“贝拉!”他在不远的地方喊叫着
“查理”我嘟囔着，试图要从昏迷中醒过来。
“嘘”爱德华耳语说。“一切都好了，你到家了，安全了。睡觉吧。”
“我不敢相信你还有脸站在这儿.”查理对爱德华咆哮着，他的声音现在近多了。
“停下来，爸爸“我呻吟着，他没有听见我。
“她怎么了？”查理关切的问道。
“她只是太累了，查理” 爱德华安静地使他确信这一点“请让她休息吧。”
“不用你告诉我怎么做！”查理嚎叫着“把她给我。拿开你的手！。”
爱德华想把我递给查理,但是我卡主一样的紧粘不放的手指紧紧的抱住他。我可以感觉到我的爸爸猛拉我的胳膊。
“放开我，爸爸”我说了大声了一点儿。我试图用朦胧的双眼看着查理，“对我发火吧！”
我们在我家门前。前门一直开着。头顶上的一大片云笼罩着我们，云太厚了以至于猜不出现在已经几点了。
“你打赌我会这么做。”查理保证说。“进来”
我叹口气说“放我下来吧。”
爱德华让我站了起来。我可以看见我是直立着的，但是我感觉不到我的腿。我步履艰难地向前走，直到人行道像漩涡一样打着转扑向我的脸。爱德华的胳膊在我落地之前接住了我。
“让我把她带上楼去吧。”爱德华说。“然后我就走。”
“不。”我哭着，惊慌失措。我还没有得到我的答案。他至少应该留到那个时候，但是不是吗？
“我不会走远的。”爱德华保证道，在我耳旁如此小声的说，因此查理绝对不会听到。
我没听见查理的回答。但是爱德华走进了房子。我睁着的眼睛只保持道了楼梯。我所感觉到的最后一件事情是爱德华冰凉的手把我的手指从他的衬衣上撬下来。
