a few days after this there was a fair in the next village, and my mistress’s grandchildren were to be taken there by their fathers and mothers. there were fifteen of them altogether, or sixteen including myself, for little jack and his cousin harry rode on my back, and the rest walked or drove.
when we got to the fair we heard some people talking about a wonderful performing donkey who was said to be very clever, and who would begin his tricks in ten minutes at the other end of the meadow where the fair was being held.
“oh, father, we must go and see him,” said teddy. “please, may we?”
“certainly, my boy; we ought to see this performing donkey, though, for my part, i don’t believe he could beat neddy, there, for intelligence and sagacity.”
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i was much pleased to hear the gentleman’s good opinion of me, and i headed the little procession to the other end of the field. jack’s mother lifted him and harry off my back and stood them upon a bench, close to the path that was left open for people to come into the enclosure, which was surrounded with seats. i stood outside, just behind my two little friends.
in a few minutes the showman appeared, leading in the donkey that was supposed to be so clever. he was a poor dismal-looking creature, who looked as if he wanted a good meal.
“jack,” said little harry to his cousin, loud enough for me to hear, “i don’t think that donkey looks very clever. i’m sure he’s not nearly so clever as our dear old neddy.”
i agreed with him, and was very much pleased to hear what harry said; so i thought to myself, “i’ll let them all know it before long, or my name’s not neddy.” i left the place where i had been standing, and took my position near the entrance.
“ladies and gentlemen,” began the showman, “i have the honor to introduce to you mr. muffles, the wonderful performing ass. this ass, ladies and gentlemen, is not such an ass as he looks. he knows a great deal, a great deal more than some of you. he is an ass without an equal. come, muffles, show the company what you54 can do. make your bow, and let these ladies and gentlemen see that you have learned manners.”
muffles took the bunch of flowers.
"muffles took the bunch of flowers."
the donkey went forward two of three steps, and bent his head in a most melancholy fashion. i was indignant with the showman; i thought to myself, “it’s quite easy to see that this poor55 muffles has been taught his tricks by means of a rope’s end;” and i made up my mind to be revenged on that man before the performance was over.
“now, muffles, take this nosegay, and give it to the prettiest lady here.”
muffles took the bunch of flowers in his teeth, walked sadly all round the ring, and at last went and dropped the nosegay into the lap of a very ugly, fat woman. she was close to me, and i could see that she had a piece of sugar concealed in her hand. “what a fraud!” i thought. “of course, she’s the showman’s wife.” i was so disgusted with what looked like the donkey’s bad taste that, before any one could stop me, i leaped clear into the ring, seized the nosegay in my teeth, and trotted round and laid it at the feet of little janie.
the crowd all clapped vigorously. they wondered who i was. “so intelligent!” they said to each other. muffles’s master, however, did not seem pleased. as for muffles himself, he took no notice whatever. i began to think he must really be rather a stupid animal, and that isn’t common with us donkeys.
when the audience was quiet again, the showman said:—
“now, muffles, you’ve shown us the prettiest lady here. now go and point out the silliest person present,” and so saying he gave him a big56 dunce-cap made of colored paper and adorned with rosettes.
muffles took it in his teeth, and going straight to a heavy-looking fat boy, with a face exactly like that of a pig, put it on his head. the fat boy was so like the fat woman that it was quite easy to see he must be the showman’s son, and of course in the trick.
“good!” said i to myself, “my time has come!”
before they could think of stopping me, i had taken the cap off the boy’s head, and was chasing the showman himself round and round the ring. the crowd roared with laughter, and clapped till they were tired. all at once the showman tripped, and went down on one knee; i profited by this to put the cap firmly on his head, and to ram it down till it covered his chin.
the showman shouted, and danced about trying to tear the cap off, and i stood on my hind legs and capered about just as he did until the crowd nearly died from laughing. “well done, donkey! bravo, donkey! it’s you that’s the real performing donkey!” they shouted.
there was no doing anything more after this. hundreds of people crowded into the ring, and were so anxious to caress me that i was afraid they would tear me to pieces. the people from our own village, who knew me, were more than57 proud of me, and before very long all the people in the place were telling wonderful tales of my intelligence and my adventures.
they said i had once been at a fire, and worked a fire-engine all by myself; that i had gone up a ladder to the third story, opened my mistress’s door, awakened her, picked her up, and jumped off the roof with her in safety to the ground. they said that another time i had, all alone, slain fifty robbers, strangling them so cleverly one after the other with my teeth when they were asleep, that not one had time to wake up and give the alarm to the others; that i had then gone into the caves where the robbers lived, and had set free a hundred and fifty prisoners whom the robbers had captured. at another time, they said, i had beaten in a race all the swiftest horses in the country, and had run seventy-five miles in five hours without stopping.
the crowd grew thicker and thicker to hear these wonderful tales, until the crush was so great that some of the people could hardly breathe, and the police had to come to the rescue. it was with the greatest difficulty, even with the help of the policemen, that i was able to get away, and i was obliged to pretend both to bite and to kick in order to clear a path; but of course i didn’t hurt anybody.
at last i got free from the crowd and into the58 road. i looked about for jack and harry and the others, but they were nowhere to be seen; for as soon as the crowding became dangerous, their parents had hurried them away. losing no time, i took the road home. before i had gone a mile i overtook them, fifteen people packed into the two carriages; and by tea-time we all reached home safe and sound, everybody delighted with my remarkable sagacity.
in order to clear a path.
"in order to clear a path."
but after it was all over, i began to think of the unfortunate showman, and i felt very, very sorry for the unkind trick i had played him.
