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Chapter IX. The Everlasting Yea

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“temptations in the wilderness!” exclaims teufelsdrockh, “have we not all to be tried with such? not so easily can the old adam, lodged in us by birth, be dispossessed. our life is compassed round with necessity; yet is the meaning of life itself no other than freedom, than voluntary force: thus have we a warfare; in the beginning, especially, a hard-fought battle. for the god-given mandate, work thou in well-doing, lies mysteriously written, in promethean prophetic characters, in our hearts; and leaves us no rest, night or day, till it be deciphered and obeyed; till it burn forth, in our conduct, a visible, acted gospel of freedom. and as the clay-given mandate, eat thou and be filled, at the same time persuasively proclaims itself through every nerve, — must not there be a confusion, a contest, before the better influence can become the upper?

“to me nothing seems more natural than that the son of man, when such god-given mandate first prophetically stirs within him, and the clay must now be vanquished or vanquish, — should be carried of the spirit into grim solitudes, and there fronting the tempter do grimmest battle with him; defiantly setting him at naught till he yield and fly. name it as we choose: with or without visible devil, whether in the natural desert of rocks and sands, or in the populous moral desert of selfishness and baseness, — to such temptation are we all called. unhappy if we are not! unhappy if we are but half-men, in whom that divine handwriting has never blazed forth, all-subduing, in true sun-splendor; but quivers dubiously amid meaner lights: or smoulders, in dull pain, in darkness, under earthly vapors! — our wilderness is the wide world in an atheistic century; our forty days are long years of suffering and fasting: nevertheless, to these also comes an end. yes, to me also was given, if not victory, yet the consciousness of battle, and the resolve to persevere therein while life or faculty is left. to me also, entangled in the enchanted forests, demon-peopled, doleful of sight and of sound, it was given, after weariest wanderings, to work out my way into the higher sunlit slopes — of that mountain which has no summit, or whose summit is in heaven only!”

he says elsewhere, under a less ambitious figure; as figures are, once for all, natural to him: “has not thy life been that of most sufficient men (tuchtigen manner) thou hast known in this generation? an outflush of foolish young enthusiasm, like the first fallow-crop, wherein are as many weeds as valuable herbs: this all parched away, under the droughts of practical and spiritual unbelief, as disappointment, in thought and act, often-repeated gave rise to doubt, and doubt gradually settled into denial! if i have had a second-crop, and now see the perennial greensward, and sit under umbrageous cedars, which defy all drought (and doubt); herein too, be the heavens praised, i am not without examples, and even exemplars.”

so that, for teufelsdrockh, also, there has been a “glorious revolution:” these mad shadow-hunting and shadow-hunted pilgrimings of his were but some purifying “temptation in the wilderness,” before his apostolic work (such as it was) could begin; which temptation is now happily over, and the devil once more worsted! was “that high moment in the rue de l’enfer,” then, properly the turning-point of the battle; when the fiend said, worship me, or be torn in shreds; and was answered valiantly with an apage satana? — singular teufelsdrockh, would thou hadst told thy singular story in plain words! but it is fruitless to look there, in those paper-bags, for such. nothing but innuendoes, figurative crotchets: a typical shadow, fitfully wavering, prophetico-satiric; no clear logical picture. “how paint to the sensual eye,” asks he once, “what passes in the holy-of-holies of man’s soul; in what words, known to these profane times, speak even afar-off of the unspeakable?” we ask in turn: why perplex these times, profane as they are, with needless obscurity, by omission and by commission? not mystical only is our professor, but whimsical; and involves himself, now more than ever, in eye-bewildering chiaroscuro. successive glimpses, here faithfully imparted, our more gifted readers must endeavor to combine for their own behoof.

he says: “the hot harmattan wind had raged itself out; its howl went silent within me; and the long-deafened soul could now hear. i paused in my wild wanderings; and sat me down to wait, and consider; for it was as if the hour of change drew nigh. i seemed to surrender, to renounce utterly, and say: fly, then, false shadows of hope; i will chase you no more, i will believe you no more. and ye too, haggard spectres of fear, i care not for you; ye too are all shadows and a lie. let me rest here: for i am way-weary and life-weary; i will rest here, were it but to die: to die or to live is alike to me; alike insignificant.” — and again: “here, then, as i lay in that centre of indifference; cast, doubtless by benignant upper influence, into a healing sleep, the heavy dreams rolled gradually away, and i awoke to a new heaven and a new earth. the first preliminary moral act, annihilation of self (selbst-todtung), had been happily accomplished; and my mind’s eyes were now unsealed, and its hands ungyved.”

might we not also conjecture that the following passage refers to his locality, during this same “healing sleep;” that his pilgrim-staff lies cast aside here, on “the high table-land;” and indeed that the repose is already taking wholesome effect on him? if it were not that the tone, in some parts, has more of riancy, even of levity, than we could have expected! however, in teufelsdrockh, there is always the strangest dualism: light dancing, with guitar-music, will be going on in the fore-court, while by fits from within comes the faint whimpering of woe and wail. we transcribe the piece entire.

“beautiful it was to sit there, as in my skyey tent, musing and meditating; on the high table-land, in front of the mountains; over me, as roof, the azure dome, and around me, for walls, four azure-flowing curtains, — namely, of the four azure winds, on whose bottom-fringes also i have seen gilding. and then to fancy the fair castles that stood sheltered in these mountain hollows; with their green flower-lawns, and white dames and damosels, lovely enough: or better still, the straw-roofed cottages, wherein stood many a mother baking bread, with her children round her:— all hidden and protectingly folded up in the valley-folds; yet there and alive, as sure as if i beheld them. or to see, as well as fancy, the nine towns and villages, that lay round my mountain-seat, which, in still weather, were wont to speak to me (by their steeple-bells) with metal tongue; and, in almost all weather, proclaimed their vitality by repeated smoke-clouds; whereon, as on a culinary horologe, i might read the hour of the day. for it was the smoke of cookery, as kind housewives at morning, midday, eventide, were boiling their husbands’ kettles; and ever a blue pillar rose up into the air, successively or simultaneously, from each of the nine, saying, as plainly as smoke could say: such and such a meal is getting ready here. not uninteresting! for you have the whole borough, with all its love-makings and scandal-mongeries, contentions and contentments, as in miniature, and could cover it all with your hat. — if, in my wide way-farings, i had learned to look into the business of the world in its details, here perhaps was the place for combining it into general propositions, and deducing inferences therefrom.

“often also could i see the black tempest marching in anger through the distance: round some schreckhorn, as yet grim-blue, would the eddying vapor gather, and there tumultuously eddy, and flow down like a mad witch’s hair; till, after a space, it vanished, and, in the clear sunbeam, your schreckhorn stood smiling grim-white, for the vapor had held snow. how thou fermentest and elaboratest, in thy great fermenting-vat and laboratory of an atmosphere, of a world, o nature! — or what is nature? ha! why do i not name thee god? art not thou the ‘living garment of god’? o heavens, is it, in very deed, he, then, that ever speaks through thee; that lives and loves in thee, that lives and loves in me?

“fore-shadows, call them rather fore-splendors, of that truth, and beginning of truths, fell mysteriously over my soul. sweeter than dayspring to the shipwrecked in nova zembla; ah, like the mother’s voice to her little child that strays bewildered, weeping, in unknown tumults; like soft streamings of celestial music to my too-exasperated heart, came that evangel. the universe is not dead and demoniacal, a charnel-house with spectres; but godlike, and my father’s!

“with other eyes, too, could i now look upon my fellowman: with an infinite love, an infinite pity. poor, wandering, wayward man! art thou not tried, and beaten with stripes, even as i am? ever, whether thou bear the royal mantle or the beggar’s gabardine, art thou not so weary, so heavy-laden; and thy bed of rest is but a grave. o my brother, my brother, why cannot i shelter thee in my bosom, and wipe away all tears from thy eyes! — truly, the din of many-voiced life, which, in this solitude, with the mind’s organ, i could hear, was no longer a maddening discord, but a melting one; like inarticulate cries, and sobbings of a dumb creature, which in the ear of heaven are prayers. the poor earth, with her poor joys, was now my needy mother, not my cruel stepdame; man, with his so mad wants and so mean endeavors, had become the dearer to me; and even for his sufferings and his sins, i now first named him brother. thus was i standing in the porch of that ‘sanctuary of sorrow;’ by strange, steep ways had i too been guided thither; and ere long its sacred gates would open, and the ‘divine depth of sorrow’ lie disclosed to me.”

the professor says, he here first got eye on the knot that had been strangling him, and straightway could unfasten it, and was free. “a vain interminable controversy,” writes he, “touching what is at present called origin of evil, or some such thing, arises in every soul, since the beginning of the world; and in every soul, that would pass from idle suffering into actual endeavoring, must first be put an end to. the most, in our time, have to go content with a simple, incomplete enough suppression of this controversy; to a few some solution of it is indispensable. in every new era, too, such solution comes out in different terms; and ever the solution of the last era has become obsolete, and is found unserviceable. for it is man’s nature to change his dialect from century to century; he cannot help it though he would. the authentic church–catechism of our present century has not yet fallen into my hands: meanwhile, for my own private behoof i attempt to elucidate the matter so. man’s unhappiness, as i construe, comes of his greatness; it is because there is an infinite in him, which with all his cunning he cannot quite bury under the finite. will the whole finance ministers and upholsterers and confectioners of modern europe undertake, in joint-stock company, to make one shoeblack happy? they cannot accomplish it, above an hour or two: for the shoeblack also has a soul quite other than his stomach; and would require, if you consider it, for his permanent satisfaction and saturation, simply this allotment, no more, and no less: god’s infinite universe altogether to himself, therein to enjoy infinitely, and fill every wish as fast as it rose. oceans of hochheimer, a throat like that of ophiuchus: speak not of them; to the infinite shoeblack they are as nothing. no sooner is your ocean filled, than he grumbles that it might have been of better vintage. try him with half of a universe, of an omnipotence, he sets to quarrelling with the proprietor of the other half, and declares himself the most maltreated of men. — always there is a black spot in our sunshine: it is even, as i said, the shadow of ourselves.

“but the whim we have of happiness is somewhat thus. by certain valuations, and averages, of our own striking, we come upon some sort of average terrestrial lot; this we fancy belongs to us by nature, and of indefeasible right. it is simple payment of our wages, of our deserts; requires neither thanks nor complaint; only such overplus as there may be do we account happiness; any deficit again is misery. now consider that we have the valuation of our own deserts ourselves, and what a fund of self-conceit there is in each of us, — do you wonder that the balance should so often dip the wrong way, and many a blockhead cry: see there, what a payment; was ever worthy gentleman so used! — i tell thee, blockhead, it all comes of thy vanity; of what thou fanciest those same deserts of thine to be. fancy that thou deservest to be hanged (as is most likely), thou wilt feel it happiness to be only shot: fancy that thou deservest to be hanged in a hair-halter, it will be a luxury to die in hemp.

“so true is it, what i then said, that the fraction of life can be increased in value not so much by increasing your numerator as by lessening your denominator. nay, unless my algebra deceive me, unity itself divided by zero will give infinity. make thy claim of wages a zero, then; thou hast the world under thy feet. well did the wisest of our time write: ‘it is only with renunciation (entsagen) that life, properly speaking, can be said to begin.’

“i asked myself: what is this that, ever since earliest years, thou hast been fretting and fuming, and lamenting and self-tormenting, on account of? say it in a word: is it not because thou art not happy? because the thou (sweet gentleman) is not sufficiently honored, nourished, soft-bedded, and lovingly cared for? foolish soul! what act of legislature was there that thou shouldst be happy? a little while ago thou hadst no right to be at all. what if thou wert born and predestined not to be happy, but to be unhappy! art thou nothing other than a vulture, then, that fliest through the universe seeking after somewhat to eat; and shrieking dolefully because carrion enough is not given thee? close thy byron; open thy goethe.”

“es leuchtet mir ein, i see a glimpse of it!” cries he elsewhere: “there is in man a higher than love of happiness: he can do without happiness, and instead thereof find blessedness! was it not to preach forth this same higher that sages and martyrs, the poet and the priest, in all times, have spoken and suffered; bearing testimony, through life and through death, of the godlike that is in man, and how in the godlike only has he strength and freedom? which god-inspiredd doctrine art thou also honored to be taught; o heavens! and broken with manifold merciful afflictions, even till thou become contrite and learn it! oh, thank thy destiny for these; thankfully bear what yet remain: thou hadst need of them; the self in thee needed to be annihilated. by benignant fever-paroxysms is life rooting out the deep-seated chronic disease, and triumphs over death. on the roaring billows of time, thou art not engulfed, but borne aloft into the azure of eternity. love not pleasure; love god. this is the everlasting yea, wherein all contradiction is solved: wherein whoso walks and works, it is well with him.”

and again: “small is it that thou canst trample the earth with its injuries under thy feet, as old greek zeno trained thee: thou canst love the earth while it injures thee, and even because it injures thee; for this a greater than zeno was needed, and he too was sent. knowest thou that ‘worship of sorrow’? the temple thereof, founded some eighteen centuries ago, now lies in ruins, overgrown with jungle, the habitation of doleful creatures: nevertheless, venture forward; in a low crypt, arched out of falling fragments, thou findest the altar still there, and its sacred lamp perennially burning.”

without pretending to comment on which strange utterances, the editor will only remark, that there lies beside them much of a still more questionable character; unsuited to the general apprehension; nay wherein he himself does not see his way. nebulous disquisitions on religion, yet not without bursts of splendor; on the “perennial continuance of inspiration;” on prophecy; that there are “true priests, as well as baal–priests, in our own day:” with more of the like sort. we select some fractions, by way of finish to this farrago.

“cease, my much-respected herr von voltaire,” thus apostrophizes the professor: “shut thy sweet voice; for the task appointed thee seems finished. sufficiently hast thou demonstrated this proposition, considerable or otherwise: that the mythus of the christian religion looks not in the eighteenth century as it did in the eighth. alas, were thy six-and-thirty quartos, and the six-and-thirty thousand other quartos and folios, and flying sheets or reams, printed before and since on the same subject, all needed to convince us of so little! but what next? wilt thou help us to embody the divine spirit of that religion in a new mythus, in a new vehicle and vesture, that our souls, otherwise too like perishing, may live? what! thou hast no faculty in that kind? only a torch for burning, no hammer for building? take our thanks, then, and — thyself away.

“meanwhile what are antiquated mythuses to me? or is the god present, felt in my own heart, a thing which herr von voltaire will dispute out of me; or dispute into me? to the ‘worship of sorrow’ ascribe what origin and genesis thou pleasest, has not that worship originated, and been generated; is it not here? feel it in thy heart, and then say whether it is of god! this is belief; all else is opinion, — for which latter whoso will, let him worry and be worried.”

“neither,” observes he elsewhere, “shall ye tear out one another’s eyes, struggling over ‘plenary inspiration,’ and such like: try rather to get a little even partial inspiration, each of you for himself. one bible i know, of whose plenary inspiration doubt is not so much as possible; nay with my own eyes i saw the god’s-hand writing it: thereof all other bibles are but leaves, — say, in picture–writing to assist the weaker faculty.”

or, to give the wearied reader relief, and bring it to an end, let him take the following perhaps more intelligible passage:—

“to me, in this our life,” says the professor, “which is an internecine warfare with the time-spirit, other warfare seems questionable. hast thou in any way a contention with thy brother, i advise thee, think well what the meaning thereof is. if thou gauge it to the bottom, it is simply this: ‘fellow, see! thou art taking more than thy share of happiness in the world, something from my share: which, by the heavens, thou shalt not; nay i will fight thee rather.’ — alas, and the whole lot to be divided is such a beggarly matter, truly a ‘feast of shells,’ for the substance has been spilled out: not enough to quench one appetite; and the collective human species clutching at them! — can we not, in all such cases, rather say: ‘take it, thou too-ravenous individual; take that pitiful additional fraction of a share, which i reckoned mine, but which thou so wantest; take it with a blessing: would to heaven i had enough for thee!’ — if fichte’s wissenschaftslehre be, ‘to a certain extent, applied christianity,’ surely to a still greater extent, so is this. we have here not a whole duty of man, yet a half duty, namely the passive half: could we but do it, as we can demonstrate it!

“but indeed conviction, were it never so excellent, is worthless till it convert itself into conduct. nay properly conviction is not possible till then; inasmuch as all speculation is by nature endless, formless, a vortex amid vortices, only by a felt indubitable certainty of experience does it find any centre to revolve round, and so fashion itself into a system. most true is it, as a wise man teaches us, that ‘doubt of any sort cannot be removed except by action.’ on which ground, too, let him who gropes painfully in darkness or uncertain light, and prays vehemently that the dawn may ripen into day, lay this other precept well to heart, which to me was of invaluable service: ‘do the duty which lies nearest thee,’ which thou knowest to be a duty! thy second duty will already have become clearer.

“may we not say, however, that the hour of spiritual enfranchisement is even this: when your ideal world, wherein the whole man has been dimly struggling and inexpressibly languishing to work, becomes revealed, and thrown open; and you discover, with amazement enough, like the lothario in wilhelm meister, that your ‘america is here or nowhere’? the situation that has not its duty, its ideal, was never yet occupied by man. yes here, in this poor, miserable, hampered, despicable actual, wherein thou even now standest, here or nowhere is thy ideal: work it out therefrom; and working, believe, live, be free. fool! the ideal is in thyself, the impediment too is in thyself: thy condition is but the stuff thou art to shape that same ideal out of: what matters whether such stuff be of this sort or that, so the form thou give it be heroic, be poetic? o thou that pinest in the imprisonment of the actual, and criest bitterly to the gods for a kingdom wherein to rule and create, know this of a truth: the thing thou seekest is already with thee, ‘here or nowhere,’ couldst thou only see!

“but it is with man’s soul as it was with nature: the beginning of creation is — light. till the eye have vision, the whole members are in bonds. divine moment, when over the tempest-tost soul, as once over the wild-weltering chaos, it is spoken: let there be light! ever to the greatest that has felt such moment, is it not miraculous and god-announcing; even as, under simpler figures, to the simplest and least. the mad primeval discord is hushed; the rudely jumbled conflicting elements bind themselves into separate firmaments: deep silent rock-foundations are built beneath; and the skyey vault with its everlasting luminaries above: instead of a dark wasteful chaos, we have a blooming, fertile, heaven-encompassed world.

“i too could now say to myself: be no longer a chaos, but a world, or even worldkin. produce! produce! were it but the pitifullest infinitesimal fraction of a product, produce it, in god’s name! ’tis the utmost thou hast in thee: out with it, then. up, up! whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy whole might. work while it is called to-day; for the night cometh, wherein no man can work.”

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