"what and if while we wait for the fulfilment of the promise, the same men who have slain our lord shall also turn their hand against us? we be few in number and there is naught to shield us from their fury. thou didst see when we praised god in the temple even this day, how the chief priests and the elders cast upon us looks which were as sharp arrows in the hands of mighty men of valor. shall the wolves which slew the shepherd spare the flock?"

"hadst thou faith even as a grain of mustard seed thou wouldst not doubt the word of the lord, 'ye shall be baptized with the holy spirit not many days hence; depart not from jerusalem till that the promise is fulfilled to you!' and how sayest thou that there is naught to shield us. god, the almighty one, even the father of our lord jesus, whom we saw received up into heaven, he shall protect us from the wrath of the jews."

"he hath suffered me to be tempted with doubts and fears more than most," said thomas, glancing fearfully at a group of men in the garb of rabbis who were approaching them along the narrow street. "but do not thou despise me because of mine infirmities. the lord said to thee, 'thou art peter, the rock!' unto me he said, 'be not faithless but believing.' it is not easy for me to believe, it is not easy for me to rejoice, when the lord hath left us alone and unfriended.--ah! sawest thou that look? the old man was annas, the other was issachar, the cruel; but in the eyes of the young man with them there burned a very fury of hate. he lusteth for our blood."

"i have not before seen his face," said peter thoughtfully; then he turned himself about to look after the retreating figures. as he did so the young man of whom thomas had spoken also turned, and again peter felt the indignant fire of his gaze. "it matters not," he said after a pause, "what the heart of man shall devise, the will of the almighty shall be done, on earth, as also in heaven," and he looked upward longingly, as if he hoped to pierce through the deeps of blue to that place whither his lord had gone.

and having come now to the place where they were wont to gather together, they went in. it was the same house where they had made ready the passover at the word of the lord, on that awful night in which he was betrayed. and in the large upper room, made sacred by the memories of that last supper with their lord, they found them which believed. it was to this place they had come after they had seen the cloud receive him out of their sight, the words of the angels yet ringing in their ears: "this jesus which was received up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye beheld him going into heaven." and here day by day they gathered to wait for the mysterious comforter, which was to come to them out of heaven, they knew not how. in the hearts of some of them burned the hope that the comforter might be the lord himself, and that at last they should see the promised kingdom of the messiah.

"there be but eleven of us whom he chose for this ministry," said peter, looking around on the little assembly, which numbered about one hundred and twenty persons. "it was needful that the scriptures should be fulfilled concerning judas, who betrayed our lord into the hands of them that slew him. but now he is dead, and hath gone to his own place, and it is written in the book of the psalms, 'let his habitation be made desolate, let no man dwell therein. his office let another take.' of the men therefore which have companied with us while the lord jesus remained upon earth, from the day when he received baptism in the jordan, unto that day in which he was taken up into heaven, of these must one become a witness of his resurrection."

"how then shall the will of god be known in the matter?" said john gravely. "we have not the spirit of discernment, for did we not trust even judas who betrayed him? albeit the lord knew him from the beginning."

"let god himself choose!" cried peter. "it hath been the custom in israel since the days of old to decide such matters by lot. so did god select his chosen priests from the family of eleazar. so also doth he chose which one shall stand by the altar of incense in the temple."

then wrote they upon tablets of wood, every one the name of the man he thought most holy and acceptable, and worthy to witness with the eleven to the resurrection of jesus. and the tablets were cast into a basin; and it was found that joseph barsabas, called justus, and matthias were named. then peter called these two men to stand up before the company of the disciples, and he prayed aloud unto the lord in these words:

"thou, lord, which knowest the hearts of all men, show of these two the one whom thou hast chosen to take the place in this ministry and apostleship, from which judas fell away that he might go to his own place."

then cast they the tablets, whereon were written the names of justus and matthias, into the brazen cup; and peter shook the cup, and the name of matthias leapt out, and from henceforward he was numbered with the apostles.

as they went away from the upper room to their abiding places, mary the mother of jesus, and salome, and mary of magdala together with john, the beloved disciple, they talked with one another of what had been done. stephen also was with them.

"we are again twelve," said john with a sigh, for he bethought him of the days when there was yet another.

"the lord was upon earth for forty days after that he arose from the dead," said stephen thoughtfully, his eyes fixed upon a bright star which shone above the horizon like a golden lamp. "why then did not he himself choose one to fill the place of judas?"

john looked startled. "what dost thou mean?" he said quickly, turning to look at the young man in the half darkness.

"could he not have chosen, had he wished it? could he not yet choose, being set down at the right hand of god?"

"and dost thou think to question the doings of god's elect?" said john, a ring of authority in his mild tones.

"nay, my son, chide not the lad," said mary. "i myself doubted whether indeed the casting of lots be pleasing to god. god hath permitted men many things in the past because of their blindness."

"it is a practice of wicked men," cried stephen. "i have seen thieves do the like to apportion their booty. and did not the roman soldiers also at the foot of his cross cast lots for the garments of the crucified one?"

"god knoweth that we meant it aright," said john humbly, his face full of trouble. "we have not yet the spirit of discernment, and are as those who stumble in the darkness."

"when the spirit of truth is come he will teach you all things," said stephen softly.

"'and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever i have taught you.' ay! those were his words. we have need of it, sore need; did we not forget on that day of dread that he had even told us, told us plainly, and many times, that so it must be? yet had we failed to understand. nay! we would not understand."

the slight form of mary trembled and her voice shook as she said, "many years hath fear been a guest in my heart since the day simeon said to me--when i presented my son a babe before the lord, 'behold, this child is set for the falling and rising up of many in israel, and for a sign which is spoken against. yea, and a sword shall pierce through thine own soul, that thoughts out of many hearts may be revealed.' the sword hath drunken deep of my heart's blood, yet will i trust him though he slay me."

"the worst hath happened for us all," said stephen, clasping her hand. "he is alive! he is ascended! and yet is he with us, for he said 'lo, i am with you alway, even unto the end of the world!'"

"it cannot be then that we have gone very far wrong," said john slowly. "it shall yet be according to his will. if matthias be not the elect of god for the apostleship, yet shall he walk with us, and the pierced hand of the master himself shall touch another which as yet we know not. there were thirteen in our fellowship while he was upon earth."

and having come to the place of their abode, they went in.