"my soul is even as a weaned child."—psalm cxxxi. 2.
o lord, i rejoice that i am permitted with filial confidence to approach thy blessed presence. what a privilege it is to have such liberty of access to the mercy-seat—to look upwards to thee, the infinite one, whom the heaven of heavens cannot contain, and call thee my father and my god! earthly love may grow cold or changeable, or perish; but "thou art the same." the mercy of god is from everlasting to everlasting. like as a father pitieth his children, so doth the lord pity them that fear him.
alas! i have to mourn too often an unthankful {67} spirit amid all thy manifold mercies. i have been rebellious and wayward, ungrateful and selfish. thou mightest righteously have surrendered me to my own perverse will; left me to the fruit of my own ways, and to be filled with my own devices. it is of the lord's mercies that i am not consumed! infinite is my want, but infinite too is my help. i would seek to stand before thee, o god, in the nothingness of the creature, and to know the boundless resources treasured up for me in the great redeemer. unite me to him by a living faith, as thine own child by adoption; may it be my great desire to glorify thee, my father in heaven; cherishing towards thee a spirit of filial love and devotedness, seeking to do only what will please thee, and having a salutary fear of offending so kind and forbearing a parent.
oh keep me from any sullen fretfulness, or unbelieving misgivings, under the strokes of thy chastening hand. let there be no hard construction of thy dealings. may i see all thy chastisements tempered with gracious love—all to be needful discipline. give me an unwavering trust and confidence in thy faithfulness. {68} nothing befalls me but by thy direction; nothing is appointed but what is for my good.
let thy varied dealings conform me to the image of my adorable lord. let me be willing to suffer patiently for him who so willingly and so patiently suffered for me. let me not so much seek to have my afflictions removed as to have grace given me to glorify thee in them, and in the spirit of a weaned child to say, "even so, father!" o may my heart become a living temple, my life a living sacrifice, breathing the incense of gratitude and love. let me give myself no rest until in this soul of mine i find a place for the lord, an habitation for the mighty god of jacob.
do thou sanctify trial to all the sons and daughters of sorrow. draw near to those bereaved of beloved relatives. do thou thyself compensate for every earthly loss. may they know that thou art faithful who hast promised, "lo, i am with you alway, even unto the end of the world."
have mercy on thy whole church. heal divisions. bless thy preached word. strengthen {69} thy ministering servants, that they may be enabled to proclaim the whole counsel of god.
take the charge of me, and of all near and dear to me, this night. give thine angels charge over us. may no unquiet dreams disturb our rest, and when we awake may we be still with thee. and all i ask is for jesus' sake. amen.
"let my prayer be set forth before thee as
incense: and the lifting up of my hands
as the evening sacrifice."
