“i am very sorry,” said i, “but i don’t exactly follow the french language when it is spoken.”
“ah! no french!” said the arab in very broken english, “dat is one sorrow.” how is it that these fellows learn all languages under the sun? i afterwards found that this man could talk italian, and turkish, and armenian fluently, and say a few words in german, as he could also in english. i could not ask for my dinner in any other language than english, if it were to save me from starvation. then he called to the christian gentleman in the pantaloons, and, as far as i could understand, made over to him the duty of interpreting between us. there seemed, however, to be one difficulty in the way of this being carried on with efficiency. the christian gentleman could not speak english himself. he knew of it perhaps something more than did the arab, but by no means enough to enable us to have a fluent conversation.
and had the interpreter—who turned out to be an italian from trieste, attached to the austrian consulate at alexandria—had the interpreter spoken english with the greatest ease, i should have had considerable difficulty in understanding and digesting in all its bearings, the proposition made to me. but before i proceed to the proposition, i must describe a ceremony which took place previous to its discussion. i had hardly observed, when first the procession entered the room, that one of my friend’s followers—my friend’s name, as i learned afterwards, was mahmoud al ackbar, and i will therefore call him mahmoud—that one of mahmoud’s followers bore in his arms a bundle of long sticks, and that another carried an iron pot and a tray. such was the case, and these two followers came forward to perform their services, while i, having been literally pressed down on to the sofa by mahmoud, watched them in their progress. mahmoud also sat down, and not a word was spoken while the ceremony went on. the man with the sticks first placed on the ground two little pans—one at my feet, and then one at the feet of his master. after that he loosed an ornamented bag which he carried round his neck, and producing from it tobacco, proceeded to fill two pipes. this he did with the utmost gravity, and apparently with very peculiar care. the pipes had been already fixed at one end of the stick, and to the other end the man had fastened two large yellow balls. these, as i afterwards perceived, were mouth-pieces made of amber. then he lit the pipes, drawing up the difficult smoke by long painful suckings at the mouthpiece, and then, when the work had become apparently easy, he handed one pipe to me, and the other to his master. the bowls he had first placed in the little pans on the ground.
during all this time no word was spoken, and i was left altogether in the dark as to the cause which had produced this extraordinary courtesy. there was a stationary sofa—they called it there a divan—which was fixed into the corner of the room, and on one side of the angle sat mahmoud al ackbar, with his feet tucked under him, while i sat on the other. the remainder of the party stood around, and i felt so little master of the occasion, that i did not know whether it would become me to bid them be seated. i was not master of the entertainment. they were not my pipes. nor was it my coffee, which i saw one of the followers preparing in a distant part of the room. and, indeed, i was much confused as to the management of the stick and amber mouth-piece with which i had been presented. with a cigar i am as much at home as any man in the city. i can nibble off the end of it, and smoke it to the last ash, when i am three parts asleep. but i had never before been invited to regale myself with such an instrument as this. what was i to do with that huge yellow ball? so i watched my new friend closely.
it had manifestly been a part of his urbanity not to commence till i had done so, but seeing my difficulty he at last raised the ball to his mouth and sucked at it. i looked at him and envied the gravity of his countenance, and the dignity of his demeanour. i sucked also, but i made a sputtering noise, and must confess that i did not enjoy it. the smoke curled gracefully from his mouth and nostrils as he sat there in mute composure. i was mute as regarded speech, but i coughed as the smoke came from me in convulsive puffs. and then the attendant brought us coffee in little tin cups—black coffee, without sugar and full of grit, of which the berries had been only bruised, not ground. i took the cup and swallowed the mixture, for i could not refuse, but i wish that i might have asked for some milk and sugar. nevertheless there was something very pleasing in the whole ceremony, and at last i began to find myself more at home with my pipe.
when mahmoud had exhausted his tobacco, and perceived that i also had ceased to puff forth smoke, he spoke in italian to the interpreter, and the interpreter forthwith proceeded to explain to me the purport of this visit. this was done with much difficulty, for the interpreter’s stock of english was very scanty—but after awhile i understood, or thought i understood, as follows:—at some previous period of my existence i had done some deed which had given infinite satisfaction to mahmoud al ackbar. whether, however, i had done it myself, or whether my father had done it, was not quite clear to me. my father, then some time deceased, had been a wharfinger at liverpool, and it was quite possible that mahmoud might have found himself at that port. mahmoud had heard of my arrival in egypt, and had been given to understand that i was coming to suez—to carry myself away in the ship, as the interpreter phrased it. this i could not understand, but i let it pass. having heard these agreeable tidings—and mahmoud, sitting in the corner, bowed low to me as this was said—he had prepared for my acceptance a slight refection for the morrow, hoping that i would not carry myself away in the ship till this had been eaten. on this subject i soon made him quite at ease, and he then proceeded to explain that as there was a point of interest at suez, mahmoud was anxious that i should partake of the refection somewhat in the guise of a picnic, at the well of moses, over in asia, on the other side of the head of the red sea. mahmoud would provide a boat to take across the party in the morning, and camels on which we would return after sunset. or else we would go and return on camels, or go on camels and return in the boat. indeed any arrangement would be made that i preferred. if i was afraid of the heat, and disliked the open boat, i could be carried round in a litter. the provisions had already been sent over to the well of moses in the anticipation that i would not refuse this little request.
i did not refuse it. nothing could have been more agreeable to me than this plan of seeing something of the sights and wonders of this land,—and of this seeing them in good company. i had not heard of the well of moses before, but now that i learned that it was in asia,—in another quarter of the globe, to be reached by a transit of the red sea, to be returned from by a journey on camels’ backs,—i burned with anxiety to visit its waters. what a story would this be for judkins! this was, no doubt, the point at which the israelites had passed. of those waters had they drunk. i almost felt that i had already found one of pharaoh’s chariot wheels. i readily gave my assent, and then, with much ceremony and many low salaams, mahmoud and his attendant left me. “i am very glad that i came to suez,” said i to myself.
i did not sleep much that night, for the mosquitoes of suez are very persevering; but i was saved from the agonising despair which these animals so frequently produce, by my agreeable thoughts as to mahmoud al ackbar. i will put it to any of my readers who have travelled, whether it is not a painful thing to find one’s-self regarded among strangers without any kindness or ceremonious courtesy. i had on this account been wretched at cairo, but all this was to be made up to me at suez. nothing could be more pleasant than the whole conduct of mahmoud al ackbar, and i determined to take full advantage of it, not caring overmuch what might be the nature of those previous favours to which he had alluded. that was his look-out, and if he was satisfied, why should not i be so also?
on the following morning i was dressed at six, and, looking out of my bed-room, i saw the boat in which we were to be wafted into asia being brought up to the quay close under my window. it had been arranged that we should start early, so as to avoid the mid-day sun, breakfast in the boat,—mahmoud in this way engaged to provide me with two refections,—take our rest at noon in a pavilion which had been built close upon the well of the patriarch, and then eat our dinner, and return riding upon camels in the cool of the evening. nothing could sound more pleasant than such a plan; and knowing as i did that the hampers of provisions had already been sent over, i did not doubt that the table arrangements would be excellent. even now, standing at my window, i could see a basket laden with long-necked bottles going into the boat, and became aware that we should not depend altogether for our morning repast on that gritty coffee which my friend mahmoud’s followers prepared.
i had promised to be ready at six, and having carefully completed my toilet, and put a clean collar and comb into my pocket ready for dinner, i descended to the great gateway and walked slowly round to the quay. as i passed out, the porter greeted me with a low obeisance, and walking on, i felt that i stepped the ground with a sort of dignity of which i had before been ignorant. it is not, as a rule, the man who gives grace and honour to the position, but the position which confers the grace and honour upon the man. i have often envied the solemn gravity and grand demeanour of the lord chancellor, as i have seen him on the bench; but i almost think that even judkins would look grave and dignified under such a wig. mahmoud al ackbar had called upon me and done me honour, and i felt myself personally capable of sustaining before the people of suez the honour which he had done me.
as i walked forth with a proud step from beneath the portal, i perceived, looking down from the square along the street, that there was already some commotion in the town. i saw the flowing robes of many arabs, with their backs turned towards me, and i thought that i observed the identical gown and turban of my friend mahmoud on the back and head of a stout short man, who was hurrying round a corner in the distance. i felt sure that it was mahmoud. some of his servants had failed in their preparations, i said to myself, as i made my way round to the water’s edge. this was only another testimony how anxious he was to do me honour.
i stood for a while on the edge of the quay looking into the boat, and admiring the comfortable cushions which were luxuriously arranged around the seats. the men who were at work did not know me, and i was unnoticed, but i should soon take my place upon the softest of those cushions. i walked slowly backwards and forwards on the quay, listening to a hum of voices that came to me from a distance. there was clearly something stirring in the town, and i felt certain that all the movement and all those distant voices were connected in some way with my expedition to the well of moses. at last there came a lad upon the walk dressed in frank costume, and i asked him what was in the wind. he was a clerk attached to an english warehouse, and he told me that there had been an arrival from cairo.
he knew no more than that, but he had heard that the omnibuses had just come in. could it be possible that mahmoud al ackbar had heard of another old acquaintance, and had gone to welcome him also?
at first my ideas on the subject were altogether pleasant. i by no means wished to monopolise the delights of all those cushions, nor would it be to me a cause of sorrow that there should be some one to share with me the conversational powers of that interpreter. should another guest be found, he might also be an englishman, and i might thus form an acquaintance which would be desirable. thinking of these things, i walked the quay for some minutes in a happy state of mind; but by degrees i became impatient, and by degrees also disturbed in my spirit. i observed that one of the arab boatmen walked round from the vessel to the front of the hotel, and that on his return he looked at me—as i thought, not with courteous eyes. then also i saw, or rather heard, some one in the verandah of the hotel above me, and was conscious that i was being viewed from thence. i walked and walked, and nobody came to me, and i perceived by my watch that it was seven o’clock. the noise, too, had come nearer and nearer, and i was now aware that wheels had been drawn up before the front door of the hotel, and that many voices were speaking there. it might be that mahmoud should wait for some other friend, but why did he not send some one to inform me? and then, as i made a sudden turn at the end of the quay, i caught sight of the retreating legs of the austrian interpreter, and i became aware that he had been sent down, and had gone away, afraid to speak to me. “what can i do?” said i to myself, “i can but keep my ground.” i owned that i feared to go round to the front of the hotel. so i still walked slowly up and down the length of the quay, and began to whistle to show that i was not uneasy. the arab sailors looked at me uncomfortably, and from time to time some one peered at me round the corner. it was now fully half-past seven, and the sun was becoming hot in the heavens. why did we not hasten to place ourselves beneath the awning in that boat.
i had just made up my mind that i would go round to the front and penetrate this mystery, when, on turning, i saw approaching to me a man dressed at any rate like an english gentleman. as he came near to me, he raised his hat, and accosted me in our own language. “mr. george walker, i believe?” said he.
“yes,” said i, with some little attempt at a high demeanour,—“of the firm of grimes, walker, and judkins, friday street, london.”
“a most respectable house, i am sure,” said he. “i am afraid there has been a little mistake here.”
“no mistake as to the respectability of that house,” said i. i felt that i was again alone in the world, and that it was necessary that i should support myself. mahmoud al ackbar had separated himself from me for ever. of that i had no longer a doubt.
“oh, none at all,” said he. “but about this little expedition over the water;” and he pointed contemptuously to the boat. “there has been a mistake about that, mr. walker; i happen to be the english vice-consul here.”
i took off my hat and bowed. it was the first time i had ever been addressed civilly by any english consular authority.
“and they have made me get out of bed to come down here and explain all this to you.”
“all what?” said i.
“you are a man of the world, i know, and i’ll just tell it you plainly. my old friend, mahmoud al ackbar, has mistaken you for sir george walker, the new lieutenant-governor of pegu. sir george walker is here now; he has come this morning; and mahmoud is ashamed to face you after what has occurred. if you won’t object to withdraw with me into the hotel, i’ll explain it all.”
i felt as though a thunderbolt had fallen; and i must say, that even up to this day i think that the consul might have been a little less abrupt. “we can get in here,” said he, evidently in a hurry, and pointing to a small door which opened out from one corner of the house to the quay. what could i do but follow him? i did follow him, and in a few words learned the remainder of the story. when he had once withdrawn me from the public walk he seemed but little anxious about the rest, and soon left me again alone. the facts, as far as i could learn them, were simply these.
sir george walker, who was now going out to pegu as governor, had been in india before, commanding an army there. i had never heard of him before, and had made no attempt to pass myself off as his relative. nobody could have been more innocent than i was—or have received worse usage. i have as much right to the name as he has. well; when he was in india before, he had taken the city of begum after a terrible siege—begum, i think the consul called it; and mahmoud had been there, having been, it seems, a great man at begum, and sir george had spared him and his money; and in this way the whole thing had come to pass. there was no further explanation than that. the rest of it was all transparent. mahmoud, having heard my name from the porter, had hurried down to invite me to his party. so far so good. but why had he been afraid to face me in the morning? and, seeing that the fault had all been his, why had he not asked me to join the expedition? sir george and i may, after all, be cousins. but, coward as he was, he had been afraid of me. when they found that i was on the quay, they had been afraid of me, not knowing how to get rid of me. i wish that i had kept the quay all day, and stared them down one by one as they entered the boat. but i was down in the mouth, and when the consul left me, i crept wearily back to my bedroom.
and the consul did leave me almost immediately. a faint hope had, at one time, come upon me that he would have asked me to breakfast. had he done so, i should have felt it as a full compensation for all that i had suffered. i am not an exacting man, but i own that i like civility. in friday street i can command it, and in friday street for the rest of my life will i remain. from this consul i received no civility. as soon as he had got me out of the way and spoken the few words which he had to say, he again raised his hat and left me. i also again raised mine, and then crept up to my bed-room.
from my window, standing a little behind the white curtain, i could see the whole embarkation. there was mahmoud al ackbar, looking indeed a little hot, but still going through his work with all that excellence of deportment which had graced him on the preceding evening. had his foot slipped, and had he fallen backwards into that shallow water, my spirit would, i confess, have been relieved. but, on the contrary, everything went well with him. there was the real sir george, my namesake and perhaps my cousin, as fresh as paint, cool from the bath which he had been taking while i had been walking on that terrace. how is it that these governors and commanders-in-chief go through such a deal of work without fagging? it was not yet two hours since he was jolting about in that omnibus-box, and there he had been all night. i could not have gone off to the well of moses immediately on my arrival. it’s the dignity of the position that does it. i have long known that the head of a firm must never count on a mere clerk to get through as much work as he could do himself. it’s the interest in the matter that supports the man.
they went, and sir george, as i was well assured, had never heard a word about me. had he done so, is it probable that he would have requested my attendance?
but mahmoud and his followers no doubt kept their own counsel as to that little mistake. there they went, and the gentle rippling breeze filled their sail pleasantly, as the boat moved away into the bay. i felt no spite against any of them but mahmoud. why had he avoided me with such cowardice? i could still see them when the morning tchibouk was handed to sir george; and, though i wished him no harm, i did envy him as he lay there reclining luxuriously upon the cushions.
a more wretched day than that i never spent in my life. as i went in and out, the porter at the gate absolutely scoffed at me. once i made up my mind to complain within the house. but what could i have said of the dirty arab? they would have told me that it was his religion, or a national observance, or meant for a courtesy. what can a man do, in a strange country, when he is told that a native spits in his face by way of civility? i bore it, i bore it—like a man; and sighed for the comforts of friday street.
as to one matter, i made up my mind on that day, and i fully carried out my purpose on the next: i would go across to the well of moses in a boat. i would visit the coasts of asia. and i would ride back into africa on a camel. though i did it alone, i would have my day’s pleasuring. i had money in my pocket, and, though it might cost me ￡20, i would see all that my namesake had seen. it did cost me the best part of ￡20; and as for the pleasuring, i cannot say much for it.
i went to bed early that night, having concluded my bargain for the morrow with a rapacious arab who spoke english. i went to bed early in order to escape the returning party, and was again on the quay at six the next morning. on this occasion, i stepped boldly into the boat the very moment that i came along the shore. there is nothing in the world like paying for what you use. i saw myself to the bottle of brandy and the cold meat, and acknowledged that a cigar out of my own case would suit me better than that long stick. the long stick might do very well for a governor of pegu, but would be highly inconvenient in friday street.
well, i am not going to give an account of my day’s journey here, though perhaps i may do so some day. i did go to the well of moses—if a small dirty pool of salt water, lying high above the sands, can be called a well; i did eat my dinner in the miserable ruined cottage which they graced by the name of a pavilion; and, alas for my poor bones! i did ride home upon a camel. if sir george did so early, and started for pegu the next morning—and i was informed such was the fact—he must have been made of iron. i laid in bed the whole day suffering greviously; but i was told that on such a journey i should have slakened my throat with oranges, and not with brandy.
i survived those four terrible days which remained to me at suez, and after another month was once again in friday street. i suffered greatly on the occasion; but it is some consolation to me to reflect that i smoked a pipe of peace with mahmoud al ackbar; that i saw the hero of begum while journeying out to new triumphs at pegu; that i sailed into asia in my own yacht—hired for the occasion; and that i rode back into africa on a camel. nor can judkins, with all his ill-nature, rob me of these remembrances.
