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XLII. An Apparition

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1

he had occupied the room on odd afternoons and evenings for a month, when a strange encounter occurred—if seeing somebody could be called an encounter.

it was a warm evening early in april, when he did not feel in the least like working....

and besides, he had been looking over the three little one-act plays which were the fruit of his month’s work, and they seemed to him trivial and silly; if this was all he could do, he had better stop trying to write plays. he was glad he had not shown them to rose-ann. they were caricatures of life—not without some grace, touched with a queer, decadent, heartless beauty, but essentially worthless. why should he write things like that? one’s work was a reflection of one’s mind, of one’s life, critics said. if he had judged those plays as a critic, he would have drawn from them certain inevitable implications with respect to the author’s philosophy and mode of life; they were apparently the work of a man who did not believe in anything, and who found in reality no true satisfactions—otherwise why should he turn to this unreal realm of modernized pierrots and columbines for solace?

pondering this enigma, he sat in the open window and looked out on the street. and in the distance he saw a figure that he knew—a girl.

it was phyllis, the girl who had been at their wedding. she was coming toward him, and he recognized her with certainty despite the fact that he had seen her only once before in his life.

she was coming down the street, on the opposite side; 276at the corner, she crossed over, coming toward the house where felix was sitting perched in his third story window. she came straight to the front door of that very building, and then, after the slightest interval, felix heard the door slam. she had entered the house.

felix concluded that he must have been mistaken as to her identity. it was somebody else who looked like phyllis—that was all. phyllis was still at the teachers’ institute; clive had spoken only the other day of receiving a letter from her. but—

he listened; some one was coming up the second stairway. was it she? and if so, what in the world was she doing here? it was too late to be calling on any one; besides, she had not rung the bell; she had entered, as if she belonged here. if it were phyllis, she must be living in this house. and that was impossible.

felix, listening at the door, heard the person, whoever it was, cross the hall—and it seemed to him that she had stopped at his door. but no—there was a jingling of keys, and he realized that the room next to his own was being unlocked. he opened his door quietly—uncertain now if he would be able to recognize phyllis, and anxious not to make any foolish mistake. she was standing at the door, with her back to him, turning the key in the lock.

of course it was phyllis!

but if he were so certain, why didn’t he speak to her? he was so close that he could have touched her. why did he let her go without a word?... she went in, and he stood staring foolishly at the closed door.

it was phyllis, without the slightest doubt.... and yet—it would be awkward to knock at a young woman’s door at midnight and, if she turned out to be the wrong person, stammer out a lame and unconvincing apology. why, she was probably some one whom he had seen, in his unseeing way, on the stairs a dozen times, some one who had seen him so often that his explanation of mistaken identity would sound very hollow indeed....

277

2

the next evening, coming to his room, he heard the girl moving about in hers.

he had decided, with that part of his mind which dealt with questions of practical fact, that she was not really phyllis. he had not mentioned his queer notion about her to rose-ann. but if it pleased him to think his neighbour was phyllis, why shouldn’t he?

it did please him; and in some odd way helped him in his work. she seemed to bring with her into his place of dreams some breath of sane and kindly reality. her unseen presence there in the next room took some of the fever out of his strange dramatic fantasies, made them more human. he wrote more easily, with greater zest; and in the intervals of his writing it was comforting to hear her movements, her mere steps across the floor, the sound of paper rustling in her hands, and sometimes the bubbling of coffee over an alcohol lamp.

when she made the coffee the pungent fumes of it found their way through the locked door which separated his room from hers.... he smiled, thinking how startled she would be if he should knock on that door, and demand a cup of coffee.... at this point he had to remind himself that it was not really phyllis there on the other side of that door.

3

but it really was phyllis!—that was the strange thing about the whole affair.... clive had at last confided to him that phyllis was in town, but told him nothing more; it was rose-ann who told him that phyllis had come to chicago, unknown to clive, and got herself a job, before letting him know anything of her plans.

“he’s finding her quite too much for him,” said rose-ann.

“what do you mean?” he asked.

“i mean—she’s been his pupil, as it were, all along. now she’s demonstrating her independence.”

“where is she living?” he asked, and when rose-ann 278said she didn’t know, he told her of the girl he had seen who looked like phyllis.

“why didn’t you speak to her and find out?” she asked impatiently.

“why, i thought it must be a mistake,” he said awkwardly.

“you really don’t care anything about people at all, do you, felix?” she said.

“why do you say that?”

“because it’s true. you’re interested only in ideas. a girl who was at your wedding comes and lives in the same house with you, and you never even speak to her! you are a strange creature, felix. for heaven’s sake, knock at her door, and bring her around to see us. just because she wants to be queer and not see anybody is no reason why we shouldn’t be friendly.”

4

yes, it was phyllis; he saw her again, late that night, from the window, plainly revealed by the glare of an arclight, walking with clive along the street toward the house; he had an impulse to shout to them, but he refrained, and only looked on while they came slowly over, and stood talking in front of the door. it was phyllis, but she had changed; or was it only some constraint in her manner? no wonder he had not been certain of her identity. she had a different air; all the quietness was gone from her—she seemed the embodiment of a defiant restlessness. there was a reckless impudence in the whole pose of her body, the tilt of her head as she stood talking to clive, in the very gesture of her arm as she held out her hand to clive in good-bye.... clive went abruptly; she was entering.

felix could hear her running up the stairs. he ought to go out and speak to her. but he did not want to. he had a sense of her having changed, being a new and different person that he did not like. he wanted to keep the companionship of the phyllis whom he had known these past weeks in imagination—he did not want for a neighbour this restless 279girl whom she had become in actuality. he heard her unlock her door, and enter; and he said to himself that his refuge was spoiled—he would have to find another place to work in....

it was true, what rose-ann had said; he cared nothing for people—only for ideas ... and dreams. he cared for his dream of phyllis. he was sorry to lose that.

well—he would have to see her.

he heard her walking restlessly up and down her room; her light firm step sounded clearly through the door which separated their two rooms. she paused, walked the length of the room, and paused again. she was standing just on the other side of that door....

he went over to that door and knocked.

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