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Chapter 50

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in which a dangerous principle is illustrated

should the sagacious reader be disappointed in our hero nicholas, who, instead of being represented as a model of disinterestedness, perilling his life to save others, sacrificing his own interests for the cause of liberty, and wasting on hardened mankind all those amiable qualities which belong only to angels, but with which heroes are generally invested for the happy purpose of pleasing the lover of romance, has evinced little else than an unbending will, he will find a palliation in that condition of life to which his oppressors have forced him to submit. had nicholas enjoyed his liberty, many incidents of a purely disinterested character might have been recorded to his fame, for indeed he had noble traits. that we have not put fiery words into his mouth, with which to execrate the tyrant, while invoking the vengeance of heaven-and, too, that we are guilty of the crime of thus suddenly transferring him from boyhood to manhood, nor have hanged him to please the envious and vicious,--will find excuse with the indulgent reader, who will be kind enough to consider that it is our business to relate facts as they are, to the performance of which-unthankful though it may be-we have drawn from the abundance of material placed in our hand by the southern world. we may misname characters and transpose scenes, but southern manners and customs we have transcribed from nature, to which stern book we have religiously adhered. and, too (if the reader will pardon the digression), though we never have agreed with our very best admirers of the gallows, some of whom hold it a means of correcting morals-nor, are yet ready to yield assent to the opinions of the many, so popularly laid down in favour of what we consider a medium of very unwholesome influence, we readily admit the existence of many persons who have well merited a very good hanging. but, were the same rules of evidence admissible in a court of law when a thief is on trial, applied against the practice of "publicly hanging," there would be little difficulty in convicting it of inciting to crime. not only does the problem of complex philosophy-the reader may make the philosophy to suit his taste-presented in the contrariety of scenes on and about the gallows offer something irreconcileable to ordinary minds, but gives to the humorous large means with which to feast their love of the ludicrous. on the scaffold of destruction, our good brothers of the clergy would, pointing to the "awful example," assure the motley assembly gathered beneath, that he hath purified that soul, which will surely be accepted in heaven; but, he can in no wise condescend to let it, still directing the flesh, live on the less pure platform of earth. with eager eyes, the mass beneath him, their morbid appetites curiously distended, heed not the good admonition; nay, the curious wait in breathless suspense the launching a human being into eternity; the vicious are busy in crime the while; the heedless make gay the holiday. sum up the invention and perpetration of crime beneath the gallows on one of those singular gala-days, and the culprit expiating his guilt at the rope's end, as an "awful warning," will indeed have disclosed a shallow mockery. taking this view of the hanging question, though we would deprive no man of his enjoyment, we deem it highly improper that our hero should die by any other means than that which the chivalrous sons of the south declared "actually necessary."

but before proceeding further with nicholas, it may be proper here to state that annette and the stranger, in whose hands we left her, have arrived safe at new york. maxwell-for such is his name-is with his uncle engaged in a lucrative commercial business; while annette, for reasons we shall hereafter explain, instead of forthwith seeking the arms of an affectionate mother, is being educated at a female seminary in a village situated on the left bank of the hudson river.

in returning to nicholas, the reader will remember that grabguy was something of a philosopher, the all-important functions of which medium he invoked on the occasion of his ejectment from fetter's court, for an interference which might at that moment have been taken as evidence of repentance. the truth, however, was, that grabguy, in the exercise of his philosophy, found the cash value of his slave about to be obliterated by the carrying out of fetter's awful sentence. here there rose that strange complexity which the physical action and mental force of slave property, acting in contrariety, so often produce. the physical of the slave was very valuable, and could be made to yield; but the mental being all powerful to oppose, completely annulled the monetary worth. but by allowing the lacerations to heal, sending him to new orleans, and making a positive sale, some thousand or twelve hundred dollars might be saved; whereas, did fetter's judgment take effect, mr. grabguy must content himself with the state's more humble award of two hundred dollars, less the trouble of getting. in this democratic perplexity did our economical alderman find himself placed, when, again invoking his philosophy-not in virtue of any sympathetic admonition, for sympathy was not of grabguy-he soon found means of protecting his interests. to this end he sought and obtained an order from the court of appeals, which grave judiciary, after duly considering the evidence on which the criminal was convicted before fetter's tribunal, was of opinion that evidence had been improperly extorted by cruelty; and, in accordance with that opinion, ordered a new trial, which said trial would be dististinguished above that at fetter's court by being presided over by a judicial magistrate. this distinguished functionary, the judicial magistrate, who generally hears the appeals from fetter's court, is a man of the name of fairweather fuddle, a clever wag, whose great good-nature is only equalled by the rotundity of his person, which is not a bad portraiture of our much-abused sir john falstaff, as represented by the heavy men of our country theatres. now, to enter upon an analysis of the vast difference between fetter's court in ordinary, and fuddle's court in judiciary, would require the aid of more philosophy than we are capable of summoning; nor would the sagacious reader be enlightened thereby, inasmuch as the learned of our own atmosphere have spent much study on the question without arriving at any favourable result. very low people, and intelligent negroes-- whose simple mode of solving difficult problems frequently produces results nearest the truth--do say without fear or trembling that the distinction between these great courts exists in the fact of justice fuddle drinking the more perfect brandy. now, whether the quality of brandy has anything to do with the purity of ideas, the character of the judiciary, or the tempering of the sentences, we will leave to the reader's discrimination; but true it is, that, while fetter's judgments are always for the state, fuddle leans to mercy and the master's interests. again, were fuddle to evince that partiality for the gallows which has become a trait of character with his legal brother, it would avail him nothing, inasmuch as by confirming fetter's judgments the fees would alike remain that gentleman's. if, then, the reader reason on the philosophy of self-interest, he may find the fees, which are in no wise small, founding the great distinction between the courts of messrs. fuddle and fetter; for by reversing fetter's judgments fees accrue to fuddle's own court, and belong to his own well-lined pocket; whereas, did he confirm them, not one cent of fees could he claim. the state should without delay remedy this great wrong, and give its judicial gentlemen a fair chance of proving their judgments well founded in contrariety. we should not, forsooth, forget to mention that fuddle, in his love of decorum--though he scarce ever sat in judgment without absorbing his punch the while--never permitted in his forum the use of those knock-down arguments which were always a prelude to fetter's judgments.

before fuddle's court, then, grabguy has succeeded in getting a hearing for his convicted property, still mentally obstinate. not the least doubt has he of procuring a judgment tempered by mercy; for, having well drunk fuddle on the previous night, and improved the opportunity for completely winning his distinguished consideration, he has not the slightest apprehension of being many months deprived of his property merely to satisfy injured justice. and, too, the evidence upon which nicholas was convicted in fetter's court, of an attempt to create an insurrection--the most fatal charge against him--was so imperfect that the means of overthrowing it can be purchased of any of the attendant constables for a mere trifle,--oaths with such fellows being worth about sixty-two and a half cents each.

if the reader will be pleased to fancy the trial before fetter's tribunal--before described--with the knock-down arguments omitted, he will have a pretty clear idea of that now proceeding before fuddle's; and having such will excuse our entering into details. having heard the case with most, learned patience, the virtue of which has been well sustained by goodly potions of paul and brown's perfect "london dock," fuddle, with grave deportment, receives from the hands of the clerical-looking clerk-a broken-down gentleman of great legal ability-the charge he is about to make the jury. "gentlemen," he says, "i might, without any detriment to perfect impunity, place the very highest encomiums on the capabilities displayed in the seriousness you have given to this all-important case, in which the state has such deep and constitutional interests; but that i need not do here. the state having placed in my possession such responsible functions, no one more than me can feel the importance of the position; and which position has always been made the judicial medium of equity and mercy. i hold moderation to be the essential part of the judiciary, gentlemen! and here i would say" (fuddle directs himself to his gentlemanly five) "and your intelligence will bear me out in the statement, that the trial below seems to have been in error from beginning to end. i say this-understand, gentlemen!--with all deference to my learned brother, fetter, whose judgments, in the exercise of the powers in me invested, and with that respect for legal equity by which this court is distinguished, it has become me so often to reverse. on the charge of creating an insurrection--rather an absurdity, by the way--you must discharge the prisoner, there being no valid proof; whereas the charge of maiming or raising his hand to a white man, though clearly proved, and according to the statutes a capital offence, could not in the spirit of mercy which now prevails in our judiciary--and, here, let me say, which is emulated by that high state of civilisation for which the people of this state are distinguished--be carried rigidly into effect. there is only this one point, then, of maiming a white gentleman, with intention--ah! yes (a pause) the intention the court thinks it as well not to mind! open to you for a conviction. upon this point you will render your verdict, guilty; only adding a recommendation to the mercy of the court." with this admonition, our august mr. fuddle, his face glowing in importance, sits down to his mixture of paul and brown's best. a few moments' pause--during which fetter enters looking very anxious--and the jury have made up their verdict, which they submit on a slip of paper to the clerk, who in turn presents it to fuddle. that functionary being busily engaged with his punch, is made conscious of the document waiting his pleasure by the audience bursting into a roar of laughter at the comical picture presented in the earnestness with which he regards his punch-some of which is streaming into his bosom-and disregards the paper held for some minutes in the clerk's hand, which is in close proximity with his nasal organ. starting suddenly, he lets the goblet fall to the floor, his face flushing like a broad moon in harvest-time, takes the paper in his fingers with a bow, making three of the same nature to his audience, as fetter looks over the circular railing in front of the dock, his face wearing a facetious smile. "nigger boy will clear away the break,--prisoner at the bar will stand up for the sentence, and the attending constable will reduce order!" speaks fuddle, relieving his pocket of a red kerchief with which he will wipe his capacious mouth. these requests being complied with, he continues-having adjusted his glasses most learnedly-making a gesture with his right hand--"i hold in my hand the solemn verdict of an intelligent jury, who, after worthy and most mature deliberation, find the prisoner at the bar, nicholas grabguy, guilty of the heinous offence of raising his hand to a white man, whom he severely maimed with a sharp-edged tool; and the jury in their wisdom, recognising the fact of their verdict involving capital punishment, have, in the exercise of that enlightened spirit which is inseparable from our age, recommended him to the mercy of this court, and, in the discretion of that power in me invested, i shall now pronounce sentence. prepare, then, ye lovers of civilisation, ye friends of humanity, ye who would temper the laws of our land of freedom to the circumstance of offences--prepare, i say, to have your ears and hearts made glad over the swelling sound of this most enlightened sentence of a court, where judgments are tempered with mercy." our hero, a chain hanging loosely from his left arm, stands forward in the dock, his manly deportment evincing a stern resolution to meet his fate unsubdued. fuddle continues:--"there is no appeal from this court!" (he forgot the court of a brighter world) "and a reversing the decision of the court below, i sentence the prisoner to four years' imprisonment with hard labour, two months' solitary confinement in each year, and thirty blows with the paddle, on the first day of each month until the expiration of the sentence." such, reader, was fuddle's merciful sentence upon one whose only crime was a love of freedom and justice. nicholas bowed to the sentence; mr. grabguy expressed surprise, but no further appeal on earth was open to him; squire fetter laughed immeasurably; and the officer led his victim away to the place of durance vile.

to this prison, then, must we go with our hero. in this magnificent establishment, its princely exterior seeming like a modern fort with frowning bastions, are some four hundred souls for sale and punishment. among them nicholas is initiated, having, for the time being, received his first installment of blows, and takes his first lesson in the act of breaking stone, which profession is exclusively reserved for criminals of his class. among the notable characters connected with this establishment is philip fladge, the wily superintendent, whose power over the criminals is next to absolute. nicholas has been under philip's guardianship but a few months, when it is found that he may be turned into an investment which will require only the outlay of kindness and amelioration on his part to become extremely profitable. forthwith a convention is entered into, the high contracting parties being nicholas and himself. mr. fladge stipulates on his part that the said nicholas, condemned by fairweather fuddle's court to such punishments as are set forth in the calendar, shall be exempt from all such punishments, have the free use of the yard, comfortable apartments to live in, and be invested with a sort of foremanship over his fellow criminals; in consideration of which it is stipulated on the part of nicholas that he do work at the more desirable profession of stucco-making, together with the execution of orders for sculpture, the proceeds of which were to be considered the property of fladge, he allowing the generous stipend of one shilling a week to the artist. here, then, mr. fladge becomes sensible of the fact that some good always come of great evils, for indeed his criminal was so far roving a mine of wealth that he only hoped it might be his fortune to receive many more such enemies of the state: he cared not whether they came from fetter or fuddle's court. with sense enough to keep his heart-burnings well stored away in his own bosom, nicholas soon became a sort of privileged character. but if he said little, he felt much; nor did he fail to occupy every leisure moment in inciting his brother bondmen to a love of freedom. so far had he gained complete control over their feelings, that scarce two months of his sentence had expired ere they would have followed his lead to death or freedom.

among those human souls stored for sale was one sal stiles, an olive wench of great beauty, and daughter of one of the very first families. this sal stiles, who was indeed one of the most charming creatures to look upon, had cousins whom the little world of charleston viewed as great belles; but these said belles were never known to ring out a word in favour of poor sal, who was, forsooth, only what-in our vulgar parlance-is called a well-conditioned and very marketable woman. considering, then, that nicholas had been separated by grabguy from his wife and children, the indulgent reader, we feel assured, will excuse our hero for falling passionately in love with this woman. that it was stipulated in the convention between himself and fladge, he should take her unto himself, we are not justified in asserting; nevertheless, that that functionary encouraged the passion rather than prevented their meetings is a fact our little world will not pretend to deny.

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