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Chapter 26

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when clarence next met dawn he was greatly dejected. she thought he appeared too old and wan for one of his years. the brow on which the light of hope and life should repose, was indeed wrinkled, and furrowed with unrest because the spirit was ill at ease. there was a claim upon him, a voice calling for retribution, which through the very law of life, aside from personal wrong, would not let him rest; and was only in the presence of dawn that he experienced anything like repose. his wife and friends taunted him daily upon his depression, because they were far from his soul, and could not comprehend the agony which was working therein. many thus live only on the surface of life, and see only results. what a righting of affairs will come when all are able to see the soul's internal; when darkness shall be made light. that time is rapidly approaching.

dawn sat beside him, the same grieved but saintly face shone out, in the atmosphere.

"i have heard, miss wyman, that you sometimes have interior sight-that you can see conditions of the mind, and the cause of its depressions. may i ask you if you can at present, penetrate my state, and ascertain the cause of this unrest?"

she was silent for a moment. the workings of her own mind were visible on her features. she scarce knew how to break the truth to him, but soon lighting up she said:

"i think i have seen at least one cause of your unrest. there is a spirit presence now in this room, a young and lovely girl whom you have at some time neglected." she did not say "wronged."

he started to his feet.

"the face, miss wyman; can you describe her appearance?" his words and manner indicating his interest, if not belief, in her power.

"she has light blue eyes, heaven blue, and brown hair. she is a little taller then myself, has a very fair complexion, and she holds a wreath of oak leaves in front of you."

clarence turned deadly pale.

"i think she must have been once dear to you, by the look of sweet forgiveness which she gives you."

he groaned aloud.

"now she holds in her arms a child-a bright-eyed boy, which has your look upon its face."

he started with a defiant look, but this changed in an instant to one of grief, and he leaned his head upon his hands and wept.

slowly the fair face faded away; then dawn knew all, and knowing all, how great a comforter did she become to him! angels smile on and mingle in such scenes; mortals see but the surface, and wonder why they thus mingle, with the usual earthly questioning, whether it is for any good that the two thus come together.

the long pent-up grief passed away, in a measure, and clarence felt as though in the presence of an angel, so sweet and soothing were the words of promise, and tender rebuke which came from the lips of dawn and flowed to his heart, strengthening his purpose to become a better man.

"can he who fully repents be wholly forgiven," he asked, in a tone of deepest want.

"god's mercies are for such and his forgiveness is free, full, and eternal. it does not flow all at once: it must be obtained by long-suffering and earnest asking, that we may know its value, and how precious is the gift."

"do you think if i were to go beyond, where dwells that one i have wronged, i could be with her and walk by her side?"

"if your repentance was pure and complete. you would be where your soul was attracted."

"do spirits feel the change in our states? if we are sorry for our misdeeds, can they see that we are?"

"their mission to earth as helps and guardians to mortals would be of little use if they could not. they rise and fall with us. they administer to us, and learn of us. the worlds are like warp and woof. we stay or go where our labor is, wherever the soul may be which has claim upon us."

"this must be sight then, real vision, for such a person as you have described i once loved and wronged. but the hour is late, i must go, yet i hope you will permit me to call upon you once more. can i have your promise to see me again, before you leave the place?"

"if i remain i shall be most happy to see you. remember that all your efforts to do right will relieve and elevate this friend who is around you, who cannot leave you, until her mind has become assimilated with yours, and the balance of your nature is restored by the infusing of her life into yours. if she is relieved by your act, rest will follow; if not, the opposite. this is a law of nature, and cannot be set aside, no more than two on the earth living disharmonized and misunderstood, can find rest away from, or out of, each other.'

"i deeply thank you," he said, "for your kind words. may all happiness be yours forever." and then they parted, not the same as when they met, but linked together by the chain of sympathy and common needs.

clarence heard not the words of his wife that night as he entered his home, who after a while grew weary of his absent replies, and found consolation in sleep. but to him sleep was not thought of. all night he laid awake, his being transfused with a new current of thought, and his life going out and soaring upward into a higher existence. the warp of a new garment was set in the loom. what hand would shape and weave the woof?

when day broke over the hills another morning burst on his senses, and clarence bowen, of the gay world, was not the same as before, but a man of high resolves and noble purposes, trying to live a better life.

slowly his higher nature unfolded. very slowly came the truths to his mind, as dawn presented them with all the vigor and freshness of her nature. she told him the story of margaret, of her death and burial, and of her father; and while he listened with tear-dimmed eyes, his soul became white with repentance. as dawn spoke, the vision came and went,--each time with the countenance more at rest. it was an experience such as but few have; only those who seen beyond, and know that mortals return to rectify errors after their decease.

there could be no rest for either, until a reconciliation was effected. happy he who can stand between the two worlds and transmit the most earnest wishes of the unseen, to those of earth. the mission, though fraught with many sorrows, is divine and soul-uplifting to the subject. but who can know these truths save one who has experiened them? the human soul has little power of imparting to another its deepest feelings. we may speak, but who will believe, or sense our experiences? an ancient writer says: "there are many kinds of voices in the world, but none of them without signification. therefore, if i know not the meaning of the voice, i shall be unto him that speaketh a barbarian, and he that speaketh shall be a barbarian unto me."

"when you tell me of these things i believe; they are real to me," said clarence, "but if i read them, or hear them related as the experience of others, they are dull and meaningless; why is this?"

"i suppose it is because you so feel my life and assurance of them, that in my atmosphere they become real and tangible to you."

"i think it must be so. i may yet find strength enough to walk alone."

"you will walk with her who comes to mingle her happiness with yours, and to help bear your crosses."

"is it wrong to wish to die?"

"it is better, i think, to desire to live here our appointed time, and ultimate the purpose of our earthly existence."

"but i can never be happy here, for there are none who understand me."

"seek to understand yourself, and that will draw others to you. it matters but little whether we are understood in this world, when we think of the long eternity before us. there is danger of becoming morbid on that point. we lose time and ground in many such meditations. our gaze becomes too much inward, and we lose sight of life's grand panorama while thus closed in. we can see ourselves most clearly in others; our weakness and our strength. we need to go out, more than to look within. do you not in conversing with me feel yourself more, than you do when alone?"

"i do. another essence, or quality of life mingling with our own gives us our own more perfectly. will all this power go with us to the other world, or do we leave much behind?"

"nothing but the husk-the dust is left here. whatever is, shall be. should you or i pass on, to-day, we should still preserve our individuality of thought and being."

"and our loves will unfold there, and we be free, think you, to associate with whom we love?"

"i have no doubt of it in my own mind, but can scarce expect another to feel the conviction as i do. we shall be better understood there. here we have inharmonious natures of our own and others to contend with. these are given to us and are brought about us without any ability in ourselves to accept or reject. our surroundings are not always what we would wish them, and few find rest or harmony of soul while here. and yet all this is necessary for proper unfoldment and development, else it would not be. few weary pilgrims reach in this life the many mansions prepared for the soul; few find their fullness of soul-enjoyment. i have seen some of these weary ones as they entered the other world and were led to places of rest. as they caught a single glimpse of the peace and rest awaiting them, their faces glowed with the light of a divine transfiguration; yet they knew that the bliss they had been permitted to look upon, and to hope for, could be theirs only as they were developed into a state of perfect appreciation of it. even so the person who enters the most fully and understandingly into our own feelings, grasps and holds the most of us. i am yours and you are mine just so far as we can fathom and comprehend each other."

"i had never thought of that before. how little do they who claim us as their own, know of the existence of this law; and yet the more i consider it, the more do i see its beauty, its truth, and the harmony of all its parts."

dawn was greatly pleased in seeing how readily he recognized her position, and continued:

"the relation which such claimants bear to us is one purely external in its nature, and oft-times painful. it is a kind of property ownership which ought to be banished from social life. it should be cast out and have no place nor lot with us, for those higher and divine principles cannot dwell with us until these things are regarded as of the past, and now worthless."

"but might not the new flow in naturally, and displace the old?"

"that is partly true, but when content with our condition we feel the need of no other. this is one reason why to many, the blessings in store for them are seemingly so long in coming. the man who is struggling with adversity, and sees nothing but darkness and want surrounding him, fondly imagines that in the possession of abundance he would find rest and peace. and yet he could never be blest while in that condition of feeling, though all wealth were his. but having passed through, and out of, this condition, and learned that the exertion induced by privation was the best possible means of his growth, then, wealth might come to him and be a blessing and a power. blessings will come to us when we are prepared by culture or discipline to rightly employ them for our own good and the good of others."

"your thoughts have made me truly blest. you have withdrawn the dark veil which has hung over me so long. i must surely call this a blessing."

"and the darkness was the same, for it has led you to appreciate the light."

he took her hand at parting, and pressed it with the warmth of generous gratitude, bade her adieu and went out into the darkness of the evening, but with rays of the morning of life shining in his soul.

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