westcott's astonishment when edmund robsart offered to lend his chambers rent free for two months was only equalled by his amazement when he discovered himself accepting that offer. had you told him a week before that within seven days he would be sleeping in robsart's sumptuous bed closed in by the rich sanctities of robsart's sumptuous flat, he would have looked at you with that cool contempt that was one of westcott's worst features; for westcott in those days was an arrogant man—arrogant through disgust of himself and disgust of the world—two very poor reasons for arrogance.
this was the way of his accepting robsart's offer. he had been demobilised at the beginning of march and had realised, with a sudden surprise that seemed only to confirm his arrogance, that he had no one to go and see, no work to do, no place that needed him, no place that he needed. he took a bedroom in a dirty little street off the strand. he knew that there were two men whom he should look up, maradick and galleon. he swore to himself that he would die before he saw either of them. then, in the strand, he met lester, a man whom he had known in his old literary days before the war. twenty years ago lester had been a[pg 87] man of much promise, and his novel to paradise had been read by everyone who wanted a short road to culture. now the war had definitely dated him and he seemed to belong to the yellow book and the bodley head and all those days when names were so much more important than performance, and a cover with a beardsley drawing on it hid a multitude of amateurs.
westcott did not mind whether or no lester were dated; he was, for the matter of that, himself dated. it was long indeed since anyone had mentioned reuben hallard, or the vines, or the stone house. it seemed many ages since he himself had thought of them. he liked lester, and being a man who, in spite of his loneliness and arrogance, responded at once to kindliness, he accepted lester's invitation to dinner. he dug up an old dinner jacket that was tight and unduly stretched across his broad shoulders and went to dinner in the cromwell road.
days of failure and disappointment had not suited mrs. lester, who had always lived for excitement and good society, and found neither in the cromwell road. there was only one other guest beside westcott, and that was edmund robsart, the most successful of all modern novelists. for many years robsart's name had been a synonym for success. "it must be," thought westcott, looking at the man's red face and superb chest and portly stomach, "at least thirty years since you published the prime minister's daughter and hit the nail at the very first time. what a loathsome fellow you are, what harm you've done to literature, and what a gorgeous time you must have had!"
[pg 88]
and the very first thing that robsart said was: "you don't mean to tell me that you're westcott, the author of reuben hallard!"
"now you're a fool to be touched by that," westcott said to himself. but he was astonished, nevertheless—touched, it seemed, not so much for himself as in a kind of protective way for that poor little firstling who had been both begotten and produced in a london boarding-house and had held in his little hands so much promise, so many hopes, so much pride and ambition.
westcott was touched; he did not resent robsart's fatherly, patronising air as of one who held always in his chubby, gouty fist the golden keys to paradise. he drank lester's wine and laughed at robsart's anecdotes and was sympathetic to mrs. lester's complaints; he, peter westcott, who throughout the war had been held to be cold, conceited, overbearing, the most unpopular officer in his regiment. at the end of the evening robsart asked him to come to lunch. "i live in duke street, hortons. everyone knows hortons." he gave him his number. "tuesday, 1.30. glad to see you."
westcott cursed himself for a fool when he went back to his strand lodging. what did he want with men of robsart's kidney? had he not been laughing and mocking at robsart for years? had he not taken robsart's success as a sign of the contemptible character of the british public; when men like galleon and lester had been barely able to live by their pens and robsart rolled in money—rolled in money earned by tawdry[pg 89] fustian sentimentality like the kings of the earth and love laughs at locksmiths.
nevertheless, he went and brushed his old blue suit and rolled up to duke street, looking, as he always did, like an able-bodied seaman on leave. robsart's flat was very much what he had expected it to be—quite sumptuous and quite lifeless. there was a little dining-room off what robsart called the library. this little dining-room had nothing in it save a round, shining gate-legged table with a glass top to it, a red persian rug that must have been priceless, a rodin bust of an evil-looking old woman who stuck her tongue out, and a gauguin that looked to westcott like a red apple and a banana, but was, in reality, a native woman by the seashore. in the library there were wonderful books, the walls being completely covered by them.
"most of them first or rare editions," said robsart carelessly. behind glass near the window were the books that he had himself written, all the different editions, the translations, the cheap "shillings" and "two shillings," the strange swedish and norwegian and russian copies with their paper backs, the row of "tauchnitz," and then all the american editions with their solemn, heavy bindings. then there were the manuscripts of the novels, all bound beautifully in red morocco, and in the bottom shelf the books with all the newspaper cuttings dating, as westcott to his amazement saw, from 1884. thirty-five years, and all this sumptuousness as a result! nevertheless the books round the room looked dead, dead, dead. "never[pg 90] touched," thought peter, "except to show them to poor humble failures like myself."
half an hour's conversation was quite enough to strip peter of any illusions he may have had about robsart's natural simplicity of heart. he had invited westcott there because he wanted a little praise from "the younger generation"—"needed" rather than "wanted" was perhaps the right word. westcott was hardly the ideal victim, because he was over forty, and an undoubted failure; nevertheless, at lester's he had appeared amiable and kindly—a little encouragement and he would say something pleasant.
then robsart would have soothed that tiresome, biting, bitter irritation that had beset him of late, born he knew not where, a suggestion carried on the wind that "he was behind the times," that his books "no longer sold," that no young man or woman "thought of him with anything but contempt." these things had not been said directly to him; he had not even read them in the papers. there were certain critical journals that had, of course, since the beginning of his career given him nothing but abuse if they noticed him at all. they now treated him to silence. he did not expect them to alter. but his sales were falling; even the critics who had supported him through all weathers were complaining a little now of monotony of subject, of repetition of idea. "damn it all, what can you do but repeat after thirty books?" sometimes he wondered whether he would not stop and "rest on his laurels." but that meant a diminution of income; he had always lived well and spent every penny as it came along. moreover,[pg 91] now was the worst moment to choose, with the income-tax at what it was and food and clothes and everything else at double its natural price!
as a matter of truth, he had been looking forward during the last two years to "after the war." ... that was the time when he was going to start again. get this war behind one and he would break out in an entirely new place—"begin all over again"—show all those young fellows that all their so-called modernity was nothing but a new trick or two for covering up the same old thing. he could do it as well as they. write in suspensive dots and dashes, mention all the parts of the human body in full, count every tick of the clock, and call your book "disintegration," or "dead moons," or "green queens."
robsart liked himself in these moods, and during luncheon he amiably wandered along in this direction, plucking the flowers of his wit as he went and flinging them into westcott's lap.
peter grew ever more and more silent. he hated robsart. that ghastly preoccupation with his own little affairs, the self-patting and self-applause over the little successes that he had won, above all, that blending of all the horror and tragedy of that great nightmare of a war to fit into the pattern of that mean, self-gratifying little life—these things were horrible. but, strangely, with the ever-growing disgust of robsart and his slightly disturbed self-complacency came an evil longing in peter's breast for some of the comfort and luxury that robsart's life represented. ever since that day, now so many years ago, when his wife had[pg 92] run away with his best friend, he had known, it seemed, no peace, no quiet, no tranquillity. it was not security that he needed, but rather a pause in the battle of the spiritual elements that seemed to be for ever beating at his ears and driving him staggering from post to post. had it not been for the war he had often thought, he must have succumbed before now. final defeat, at any rate, meant rest. he had not succumbed. these years in gallipoli and france had saved him. but he, in those desolate, death-ridden places had again and again said to himself, even as robsart, safe in hortons, had said: "after the war.... after the war...." after the war peter would build up his life again. but first, even a month's rest—somewhere that was not dirty and cheap and ill-smelling. somewhere with good food and kind looks.... then he smiled as he thought of maradick and galleon, his two friends, who could both give him those things. no, he wanted also freedom.
thus, to his amazement, at the end of luncheon, when he was feeling as though he could not bear the sound of robsart's rich, self-satisfied voice a moment longer, the man made his proposal. he was going to scotland for two months. would westcott like to take the flat, free of rent, of course? it was at his disposal. he need not have meals there unless he wished.
something in westcott's spirit had attracted robsart. westcott had not given him the praise he had needed; but now he seemed to have forgotten that. the man who sat opposite to him with the thin face, the black, closely cropped hair, thin above his forehead,[pg 93] grey above the temples, with the broad shoulders, the hard, thick-set figure, the grave eyes, the nervous, restless fingers, the man who, in spite of his forty years, seemed still in some strange way a boy—that man had been through fire and tribulation such as robsart would never know. robsart was not a bad man, nor an unkindly; success had been the worst thing that could have happened to his soul. he put his hand on westcott's shoulder: "you stay here and have a rest for a bit. do just as you like. chuck my things about. smash the rodin if it amuses you." peter accepted.
when he moved, with his few possessions, into the grand place, he found it less alarming than he had expected. hortons itself was anything but alarming. in the first place, there was the nicest girl in the world, fanny, who was portress downstairs. she made one happy at once. then the valet, albert, or albert edward, as he seemed to prefer to be called, was the kind of man understood in a moment by peter. they were friends in three minutes. albert edward had his eye on fanny, and was going to propose one of these days. wouldn't they make a jolly pair?
once or twice the great mr. nix himself, the manager of the flats, came in to see how peter was faring. he seemed to have an exalted idea of peter because he was "robsart's friend." robsart was a very great man in mr. nix's eyes.
"but i'm not his friend," peter said. "you must have been," mr. nix said, "for him to let you have his flat like that. i've never known him to do that before."
in three days peter was happy; in another three[pg 94] days he began to be strangled. there were too many things in the flat—beautiful things, costly things. little golden trifles, precious china, pictures worth a fortune, first editions scattered about as though they were nothing. "too full, too full, too full."
peter couldn't sleep. he pushed on all the lights, and pushed them all off again. he got up, and in his old, shabby, patched pyjamas walked the length of the flat up and down, up and down. the brahmin gods in the gold temple stared at him impassively. the rodin old woman leered.
"another two days and i'm done with this place," he thought. then murdoch temple came to see him. westcott had known temple before the war; he had not seen him for five years. temple had not altered: there was the same slight, delicate body, pale, discontented face, jet-black hair, long, nervous and conceited hands, shabby clothes too tight for the body and most characteristic of all, a melancholy and supercilious curl to his upper lip. temple was supercilious by nature and melancholy by profession. from the very beginning it had seemed that he was destined to be a genius, and although after fifteen years of anticipation the fulfilment of that destiny was still postponed, no one could doubt, least of all temple himself, that the day of recognition was approaching. at oxford it had seemed that there was nothing that he could not do; in actual fact he had since then read much french and some russian (in translation, of course), edited two little papers, strangled by an unsympathetic public almost at birth, produced a novel, a poem, and a book of criticism.[pg 95] an unhappy chill had hung over all these things. the war, in whose progress poor health had forbidden him to take a very active part, had made of him a pessimist and pacifist; but even here a certain temperamental weakness had forbidden him to be too ardent. he was peevish rather than indignant, petulant rather than angry, unkind rather than cruel, malicious rather than unjust, and, undoubtedly, a little sycophantic.
he had a brain, but he had always used it for the fostering of discontent. he did care, with more warmth than one would have supposed possible, for literature, but everything in it must be new, and strange, and unsuccessful. success was, to him, the most terrible of all things, unless he himself were to attain it.
that, as things now went, seemed unlikely. during the last two years he and his friends had been anticipating all that they were going to do "after the war...." there was to be a new literature, a new poetry, a new novel, a new criticism; and all these were to be built up by temple and company. "thank god, the war's saved us from the old mess we were in. no more robsarts and manisbys for us! now we shall see!"
peter had heard vague rumours of the things these young men were going to do. he had not been greatly interested. he was outside their generation, and his own ambitions were long deadened by his own self-contempt. nevertheless, on this particular morning, he was glad to see temple. there was no question but that he made as effective a contrast with robsart as one could find.
[pg 96]
temple was extremely cordial. at the same time, he was frankly surprised to find peter there.
"how did you track me?" asked peter.
"robsart told maradick in edinburgh, meredith was writing to me. how are you after all this time?"
"all right," said peter, smiling. the conversation then was literary, and temple explained "how things were." things were very bad. he used the glories of robsart's rooms as an illustration of his purpose. he waved his hands about. "look at these things," he seemed to say. "at these temples of gold, this china of great price, these pictures, and then look at me. here is the contrast between true and false art."
"we want to get rid," he explained to peter, "of all these false valuations. this wretched war has shown us at least one thing—the difference between the true and the false. the world is in pieces. it is for us to build it up again."
"and how are you going to do it?" asked peter.
well, it seemed that temple's prospects were especially bright just then. it happened that mr. dibden, the original inventor of "dibden's blue pills," was anxious to "dabble in art." he was ready to put quite a little of his "blue pill" money behind a new critical paper, and the editor of this paper was to be temple.
"of course," said temple. "i'm not going to agree to it unless he guarantees us at least five years' run. a paper of the sort that i have in mind always takes some time to make its impression. in five years the world at least will be able to see what we are made of. i've no fears."
[pg 97]
peter, who was more ingenuous than he knew, was caught by the rather wistful eagerness in temple's voice.
"this fellow really does care," he thought.
"we want you to come in with us," said temple. "of course, we shall have nothing to do with fellows like d—— and w—— and m——; men who've simply made successes by rotten work. no! but i flatter myself that there will be no one of our generation of any merit who won't join us. you must be one."
"i'm too old," said peter, "for your young lot."
"too old!" cried temple. "rot! of course, it's a long time since the vineo, but all the better. you'll be the fresher for the pause. not like m—— and w——, who turn out novels twice a year as though they were sausages. besides, you've been in the war. you've seen at first hand what it is. none of these ghastly high spirits about you! you'll have the right pessimistic outlook."
"i don't know that i shall," said peter, laughing.
"oh, yes, you will," said temple confidently. "i'm delighted you'll join us. and i'll be able to pay well, too. old dibden's ready to stump up any amount."
"that's a good thing," said peter.
he remembered that temple had not, with the best wish in the world, been always able in the past to fulfil all his promises. in short, peter was touched and even excited. it was so long since anyone had come to him or wanted him. then temple had caught him at the right moment. he was out of a job; robsart's flat was suffocating him; he himself was feeling something of this new air that was blowing through the world.[pg 98] he wondered whether after all it might not be that temple and his friends would be given the power. they had youth, energy, a freedom from tradition....
he promised temple that he would come to tea next day, and see some of his friends.
"the paper's to be called the blue moon," said temple. "to-morrow, then, at five."
peter found himself at five next day in a small room off chancery lane. temple met him at the door, greeted him with that rather eager and timid air that was especially his, introduced him to a young man on a green sofa, and left him.
peter was rather amused at his own excitement. he looked about him with eagerness. here, at any rate, was a fine contrast to robsart. no gold gods and precious rodins in this place. the room was bare to shabbiness. the only picture on the ugly wall-paper was a copy of some post-impressionist picture stuck on to the paper with a pin.
it was a warm spring day, and the room was very close. some half a dozen men and two girls were present; very much bad tobacco was being smoked. somewhere near the untidy fire-place was a table with tea on it. "perhaps," thought peter, "these are the men who will make the new world.... at any rate, no false prosperity here. these men mean what they say." looking about him, the first thing that he discovered was a strange family likeness that there seemed to be amongst the men. they all wore old, shabby, ill-fitting clothes. no hair was brushed, no collars were clean, all boots were dusty. "that's all right," thought[pg 99] peter. "there's no time to waste thinking about clothes these days."
all the same he did like cleanliness, and what distressed him was that all the young men looked unwell. one of them, indeed, was fat. but it was an unhealthy stoutness, pale, blotchy, pimpled. complexions were sallow, bodies undeveloped and uncared-for. it was not that they looked ill-fed—simply that they seemed to have been living in close atmospheres and taking no exercise.... listening then to the talk he discovered that the tone of the voices was strangely the same. it was as though one man were speaking, as though the different bodies were vehicles for the same voice. the high, querulous, faint, scornful voice ran on. it seemed as though, did it cease, the room would cease with it—the room, the sofa, the wall-paper, the tea-table cease with it, and vanish. one of the pale young men was on the sofa stroking a tiny, ragged moustache with his rather dirty fingers. he raised sad, heavy eyes to peter's face, then, with a kind of spiritual shudder as though he did not like what he had seen there, dropped them.
"it's rather close in here, isn't it?" said peter at last.
"maybe," said the young man....
one of the young women, directed apparently by temple, came over to peter. she sat down on the sofa and began eagerly to talk to him. she said how glad she was that he was going to join them. although she spoke eagerly, her voice was tired, with a kind of angry, defiant ring in it. she spoke so rapidly[pg 100] that peter had difficulty in following her. he asked who the men in the room were.
"that's somers," she said, pointing to the stout man, "hacket somers. of course, you know his work? i've got his new poem here. like to see it? we shall have it in the first number of the blue moon."
she handed peter a page of typed manuscript. he read it eagerly. here, then, was the new literature. it was apparently a poem. it was headed "wild west—remittance man."
the first three verses were as follows:
"schlemihl no mother weep for
doomed for a certain time—
rye whisky—a fungus
works into each face—line—
the bond-street exterior—
tears at his vitals—
gravely the whisker droops
his eyes are cold.
immaculate meteor
inside a thick ichos
outside a thick ether
quenched the bright music....
peter read these three verses; then a second time, then a third. the young woman was talking fiercely as he read. she turned to him:
"aren't they splendid?" she said. "hacket at his best. i was a little doubtful of him, but now there's no question...."
"frankly," said peter, "i don't understand them. it's about a drunkard, isn't it? i see that, but...."
[pg 101]
"don't understand it!" cried the young woman. "what don't you understand?"
"well, for instance," said peter, "'immaculate meteor.' is that the world, or bond street, or the whisky?" he felt her contempt.
she laughed.
"well, of course, hacket's poems aren't for everybody," she said.
she got up then, and left him. he knew the report that she would make of him to temple. he sat there bewildered. he began to feel lonely and a little angry. after all it was not his fault that he had not understood the poem. or was it the heat of the room? he wished that someone would offer him some tea, but everyone was talking, talking, talking. he sat back and listened. the talk eddied about him, dazing him, retreating, rolling back again. he listened. every kind of topic was there—men, women, the war, germany, poetry, homo-sexuality, divorce, adultery, walt whitman, sapho, names, strange names, american names, french names, russian names, condemning him, condemning her, condemning it, the war, man ... woman....
once and again he caught popular names. how they were condemned! the scorn, the languid, insolent scorn. then pacifism.... he gathered that two of the men in the room had been forced to dig potatoes for the government because they didn't believe in war. patriotism! the room quivered with scorn. patriots! it was as though you had said murderers or adulterers! his anger grew. robsart was better than this, far, far better. at least robsart tried to make something[pg 102] out of life. he was not ashamed to be happy. he did not condemn. he was doubtful about himself, too. he would not have asked peter to lunch had he not been doubtful.... and the arrogance here. the room was thick with it. the self-applause mounted higher and higher. the fat man read one of his poems. only a few words reached peter. "buttock ... blood ... cobra ... loins ... mud ... shrill ... bovine...."
suddenly he felt as though in another moment he would rush into their midst, striking them apart, crying out against them, as condemnatory, as arrogant as they. he got from his sofa and crept from the room. no one noticed him. in the street the beautiful, cool, evening air could not comfort him. he was wretched, lonely, angry, above all, most bitterly disappointed. it seemed to him as he walked along slowly up fleet street that life was really hopeless and useless. on the one side, robsart; on the other, these arrogant fools, and in the middle, himself, no better than they—worse, indeed—for they at least stood for something, and he for nothing, absolutely nothing. that absurd poem had, at any rate, effort behind it, striving, ambition, hope. he had cared all his life for intellectual things, had longed to achieve some form of beauty, however tiny, however insignificant.... he had achieved nothing. well, that knowledge would not have beaten him down had he felt the true spirit of greatness in these others. he realised now how deeply he had hoped from that meeting. he had believed in the new world of which they were all talking; he had[pg 103] believed that its creation would be brought about by the forces of art, of brotherhood, of kindliness, and charity, and nobility. and then to go and listen to a meeting like temple's? but what right had he to judge them, or robsart, or anyone?
only too ready to believe himself a failure, it seemed now that the world too was a failure; that the worst things that the pessimists had said during the war were now justified. above all he detested his own arrogance in judging these other men.
he had come by now to piccadilly circus. he was held by the crowd for a moment on the kerb outside swan & edgar's. the circus was wrapped in a pale, honey-coloured evening glow. the stir of the movement of the traffic was dimmed as though it came through a half-open door. peter felt calm touch his bitter unhappiness as he stood there. he stayed as though someone had a hand on his shoulder and was holding him there. he was conscious for the second time that day of anticipation. now, having been cheated once, he tried to drive it away, but it would not leave him, and he waited almost as though he were expecting some procession to pass. the shops were closing, and many people were going home. as he stood there big ben struck six o'clock, and was echoed from st. james's and st. martin's. people were coming in prepared for an evening's amusement. the last shoppers were waiting for the omnibuses to take them up regent street.
opposite peter there were the criterion posters our mr. hepplewhite, and opposite mr. hepplewhite mlle. delysia was swinging her name in mid-air to[pg 104] entice the world into the pavilion. every kind of shop crowded there round the circus—barbers', and watch-makers', and bag-makers', and hosiers', and jewellers', and tobacconists', and restaurants, and tea-shops—there they all were; and the omnibuses, like lumbering mastodons or ichthyosauri, came tottering and tumbling into the centre, finding their heavy, thick-headed way out again as though they were blinded by this dazzling, lighted world.
he was struck, as he watched, by the caution, the hesitation, the apparent helplessness of all the world. londoners had always been represented as so self-confident, self-assured, but if you watched to-night, it seemed that everyone hesitated. young men with their girls, women with babies, men, boys; again and again peter saw in faces that same half-timid, half-friendly glance; felt on every side of him a kindliness that was born of a little terror, a little dread. there was some parallel to the scene in his mind. he could not catch it, his mind strove back. suddenly, with the big form of a policeman who stepped in front of him to control the traffic, he knew of what it was that he was thinking. years ago, when he had first come up to london, he had lived in a boarding-house, and there had been there a large family of children with whom he had been very friendly. the parents of the children had been poor, but their single living-room had been a nursery of a happy, discordant kind. every sort of toy had found its way in there, and peter could see the half-dozen children, now trembling, fighting, laughing, crying, the mother watching them and guarding them.
[pg 105]
the circus was a nursery. the blue evening sky was closed down, a radiant roof. everywhere were the toys. now it seemed that balls were danced in the air; now that someone sang or rang bells; now that some new game was suddenly proposed and greeted with a shout of joy. the children filled the circus; the policemen were toy policemen, the omnibuses toy omnibuses, the theatres toy theatres.
on every side of him peter felt the kindliness, the helplessness, the pathos of his vision. they were children; he was a child; the world was only a nursery, after all. the sense of his earlier indignation had left him. it seemed now that anger and condemnation, whether of robsart, or temple and his friends, or of himself, were absurd. they were all children together, children in their ignorance, their helplessness, children in their love for one another, their generosity, and their hope.
for the first time in his life that sense of disappointment that had been for so long a stumbling-block to all his effort left him. he felt as though, like pilgrim, he had suddenly dropped his pack. children in the nursery—the lot of them. no place in this world for high indignation, for bitterness, for denunciation.
the injustice, the ill-humour, the passions of life were like the quarrels in children's play; the wisest man alive knew just as much as his nursery-walls could show him.
he laughed and turned homewards.
the new world? perhaps. the progress of the world? perhaps. meanwhile, there were nursery-tea,[pg 106] a game of pirates, and a fairy-tale by the fire ... and after it all, that sound, dreamless sleep that only children know. would one wake in the morning and find that one was leaving the nursery for school? who could tell? no one returned with any story....
meanwhile, there was enough to do to help in keeping the nursery in order, in seeing that the weaker babies were not trodden upon, in making sure that no one cried himself to sleep.
anger and condemnation would never be possible again; no, nor would he expect the millennium.
