that scoutmaster said, kind of smiling, “we think we’re scouts and we’re glad to make you the salute. what can we do for you?”

“where are you going?” pee-wee shouted.

the man said, “why, if you must know, we’re going to catch a train for bear mountain. they’re crowded up at the camp. we might have stayed till morning, but the sooner we’re settled the better.”

“you’re settled already,” pee-wee shouted; “i settled you! we’re the funny-bone bandits and we own the catskill mountains. do you see this little house? it’s a garage. it’s going to temple camp and you’re going back with it. you’re going to bunk in it. we’re going to pull it out of this ditch and take it to temple camp. that’s the kind of good turns we do up here!”

the man said, “you’re very kind but——”

“don’t talk about catching trains,” i said. “we’ve been catching trains to-day and see what it’s brought us to. take my advice and don’t get on a train. a portable garage is better. we used to be regular scouts like you, with uniforms and clean faces and everything, before we got on a railroad train. we belong at temple camp and we’re going back there and so is this little shack and so are you.”

the scoutmaster said, “you’re very kind but——”

“there isn’t any but about it,” i told him. “if you think we’re going to have anybody interfering with our good turns you’re mistaken. you didn’t know the woods were infested with wild scouts, did you? so now get out of the way while darby curren pulls us out of the ditch, and then do what we tell you. all you’ve seen so far are the tame scouts up at camp; we’re the wild, outlaw scouts. this is hervey willetts, the human squirrel—i’m the nut. we run temple camp, don’t worry, leave it to us. the road to temple camp is a one way street and don’t you forget it! so get out of the way, you’re blocking the traffic.”

gee whiz, i guess they didn’t know what to think. the scoutmaster just looked around smiling, and all his little troop were staring and laughing. i could see they wanted to go back.

the scoutmaster said, “i hardly know what to think about this.”

“don’t think about it,” pee-wee said, “just do it.”

“do the way we do,” hervey said; “don’t go to the place you started out to go to; go the other way. do the thing you didn’t expect to do, then you’ll have more fun. that’s what a funny-bone hike is. get mixed up accidentally on purpose. just keep going, any old way. one place is as good as another, only temple camp is better than all of them. come ahead back, you just leave it to us. we’ll get the truck out of the ditch and we’ll start a parade to temple camp and i’ll go first and tell them all about it. we had a lot of fun to-day just on account of a song. so now will you join a parade with us and follow your leader? listen.

“don’t ask where you’re headed for nobody knows,

just keep your eyes open and follow your nose;

be careful, don’t trip and go stubbing your toes,

but follow your leader wherever he goes.”

oh boy, you should have seen those fellows look at hervey; they just stood there laughing and staring and kind of clustering around him. that’s always the way it is, fellows fall for him right away.

“are there any more verses to that song?” one of them wanted to know.

“sure,” hervey said, “we’ve been singing them all day, and we’d like to go marching into camp with this outfit singing them, too. we want the craziest part to come last.”

“let’s do it,” one of those fellows said.

“i want to go back,” said another.

the scoutmaster, he looked kind of as if he couldn’t make up his mind.

then warde said, kind of sober like, “there isn’t anything to prevent. they haven’t got even a tent left at camp and that’s the only reason they can’t have you stay. do you think we don’t know what we’re talking about when we say it would be all right? the camp people will say it was a good turn, so why should you prevent us from doing it? we’d like to end the day up with a good turn, because it’s been a kind of a funny day and we’ve been away from camp ever since morning. it’ll make a kind of a good ending if you’ll only help us out.”

“the end of a crazy day,” i said.

the scoutmaster just said, “you don’t forget your good turns when you’re crazy, do you?”

“crazy good turns,” i said. “what’s the difference?”

“no difference,” the scoutmaster said.

“it’s all a part of the game,” warde said; “good turns and all. we jumble everything all up together.”

“that’s a good way,” the scoutmaster said.

gee, those scouts just kept looking at their scoutmaster, waiting, anxious like. and all the while hervey, with his hat on the side of his head, sat straddling the peak of the garage, humming:

don’t start to go back if it freezes or snows,

don’t weaken or flunk or suggest or oppose;

your job is to follow and not to suppose.

he said that last line good and loud.

then, all of a sudden, that scoutmaster said, “well, scouts, i wish everyone were crazy in the same way you are. if our job is to follow and not to suppose, lead on, and we’ll follow. we’ll take a chance and follow our leader——”

“that’s me,” said hervey willetts, and down he came, sliding off the slanting roof of the garage.

oh boy, you should have seen those new scouts look at him.