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CHAPTER I A Social Failure

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the dance was over and mildred thornton climbed disconsolately up the long stairs. from her thin shoulders floated a delicate white scarf and her dress was of white lace and tulle. yet mildred had no look of a conquering princess, nor yet of cinderella, who must have carried her head proudly even after the ball, remembering the devotion of her prince.

but for mildred there was no prince to remember, nor devotion from anyone. she was in that mood of hopeless depression which comes from having attended a dance at which one has been a hopeless failure.[8] her head drooped and though her cheeks were hot, her hands were cold.

downstairs in the library she could hear her brother having his good-night talk with their mother. of course he did not intend that she should overhear what was being said, and yet distinctly his words floated up to her.

“well, dearest, i did what i could, i swear it. do hand me another one of those sandwiches; playing the devoted brother takes it out of me. but poor old mill is no go! the fellows were nice enough, of course; they danced with her whenever i asked them, but the worst of it was they would not repeat the offense. you know mill dances something like an animated telegraph pole, and though she is a brick and all that, she hasn’t an ounce of frivolous conversation. do you know, i actually heard her talking about the war, and no one in our set ever speaks of the war now; we are jolly tired of the subject.”

whatever her mother’s reply, it was given in so low a tone as to be inaudible. but again dick’s voice was pitched louder.

[9]

“oh, all right, i’ll keep up the struggle a while longer, as i promised, but it’s no use. have you ever thought of what will become of your adored son’s popularity if he has to continue in new york society with a ‘mill’ stone hung about his neck?”

on the stairs the girl bit her lips, flinging back her head to keep the tears away. for at once there had followed the sound of her brother’s pleased laugh over his own wit, then her mother’s murmured protest.

so plainly could mildred thornton see the picture in the library that it was not necessary for her to be present except in the spirit. indeed, it was in order that she might not intrude upon dick’s confession that she had insisted upon going at once to her own room as soon as they arrived at home. nevertheless, no one need tell her that her brother had not the faintest intention of being unkind. he never liked hurting people’s feelings; yet when one is handsome and charming, sometimes it is difficult to understand how those who are neither must feel.

in her own room a moment later, mildred,[10] touching the electric button, flooded her apartment with a soft yellow light. then deliberately placing herself before a long mirror the girl began a study of her own appearance. after all, was she so much less good looking than other girls? was that the reason why dick had been compelled to report to their mother her extraordinary lack of social success? and if this had been the only occasion, once would not have mattered. but after three months of the same story, with everything done to help her, beautiful clothes, her own limousine, her father’s money and reputation, her mother’s and brother’s efforts—why, no wonder her family was discouraged. but if only her mother had not been so disappointed and so chagrined, mildred felt she would not have cared a great deal. there were other things in life besides society.

yet now, without fear or favor, mildred thornton undertook to form an impartial judgment of herself.

in the mirror she saw reflected a girl taller than most girls, but even in these days when slenderness is a mark of fashion,[11] certainly one who was too thin. however, there was comfort in the fact that her shoulders were broad and flat and that she carried her head well.

“for one must find consolation in something,” mildred murmured aloud. then because she did not consider that the consolations were as numerous as they might have been, she frowned. it was unfortunate, of course, that her hair, though long and heavy, was also straight and flaxen and without the yellow-brown lights that were so attractive. then assuredly her chin was too square and her mouth too large.

closer she peered into the mirror. her nose was not so bad; it could not be called piquant, nor yet pure greek, but it was a straight, american nose. and at any rate her eyes were fairly attractive; if one wished to be flattering they might even be called handsome. they were almost steel color, large and clear, with blue and gray lights in them. her eyebrows and lashes were much darker than her hair. if only their expression had not always been so serious!

[12]

turning her head first on one side and then on the other, attempting to dart ardent, challenging glances at herself, suddenly mildred made a little grimace. then throwing back her head she laughed. instantly the attraction she had been hoping for appeared in her face although the girl herself was not aware of it.

“mildred thornton, what an utter goose you are! it is tragic enough to be a stick and a wall flower. but when you attempt behaving like the girls who are belles, you simply look mad.”

moving aside from the mirror mildred now let her party gown slip to the floor.

she was standing in the center of a beautiful room whose walls were gray and gold. the rug under her feet was also gray with a deep border of yellow roses. her bed was of mahogany and there was a mahogany writing desk and table and low chairs of the same material. through an open door one could glimpse a private sitting room even more charming. indeed, as there was no possible luxury missing so there could be no doubt that mildred thornton[13] was a fortunately wealthy girl, which of course meant that she had nothing to trouble her.

nevertheless, at this moment mildred was thinking, “oh, if only i were thirty instead of nineteen, i wonder if i might be allowed to be happy in my own way.”

then without remembering to throw a dressing gown across her shoulders, tip-toeing across the floor without any apparent reason, the girl unlocked a secret drawer in her desk. opening it she drew out a large, unusual looking envelope. she was staring at this while her eyes were slowly filling with tears, when there came a sudden knock at her door.

at the same instant the envelope was thrust back into the drawer, and not until then did mildred answer or move toward her door.

a visit from her mother tonight was really one of the last things in the world she desired. it was wicked to have so little sympathy with one’s own mother and the fault was of course hers. but tonight she was really too tired and depressed[14] to explain why she had made no more effort to be agreeable. her mother would insist that she had only herself to blame for her evening’s failure. it was hard, of course, that so beautiful a woman could not have had a handsome daughter as well as a handsome son.

but instead of her mother, there in the hall stood a tall, thin man, whose light hair had turned gray. he had a strong, powerful face, deeply lined, one that both men and women turned to look at the second time.

“i heard you come upstairs alone, mill dear,” judge thornton said, smiling like a shamefaced schoolboy. “don’t tell your mother or dick, will you, for we had better break it to them by degrees? but i sent a check today for two thousand dollars to the red cross fund to be used in this war relief business, my dear. i had to do it, it was on my conscience. i know your mother and brother won’t like it; they have been scolding for a new motor car and i’ve said i couldn’t afford one. really four persons ought to be able to[15] get on with two automobiles, when a good many thousands are going without bread. we’ll stand together, won’t we, even if my little girl has to give up one of her debutante parties?”

already mildred’s arms were about her father’s neck so that he found it difficult to talk, for that and other reasons.

“i am so glad, so glad,” she kept whispering. “you know how tiresome dick and mother feel i am because i don’t think we ought to keep on playing and dancing and frivoling, when this horrible war is going on and people are being wounded and killed every minute. if you only guessed how i wanted to use the little knowledge and strength i have to help.”

but the judge now shook his head decisively and moved away.

“nonsense, child, you are too young; such an idea is not to be thought of. we ought never to have let you attend those hospital classes, or at least i should not have allowed it. goodness knows, your mother fought the idea bitterly enough![16] but remember, you promised her that you would give the same time to society that you have given to your nursing, and that is three years. you can’t go back on your word, and besides i won’t have you thinking so much about these horrors; you’ll be making yourself ill. war isn’t a girl’s business.” certainly judge thornton was trying to be severe, but just beyond the door he turned back.

“i sent the check in your name, mill dear, so you can feel you are doing a little something to help,” he added affectionately. “good night.”

afterwards, although tired (and it was quite two o’clock when she was finally in bed), mildred thornton found it almost impossible to sleep. at first she kept seeing a vision of herself as she appeared at the dance earlier in the evening. how stiff and solemn and out of place she had seemed, and how impossible it had been to make conversation with the young men her brother had brought forward and introduced to her! in the first place, they had not seemed like men at all, but like the fashionably[17] dressed pictures in the magazine advertisements or the faultless figures adorning the windows in men’s furnishing stores.

besides, they had only wished to talk of the latest steps in the new dances or the last musical comedy. and what a strange expression that young fellow’s face had worn, when she had asked him if he had ever thought of going over to help in the war! no wonder dick had been so ashamed of her.

then, having fallen asleep, mildred began dreaming. her father had been right, she must have been thinking more than she should about the war. because in her dream she kept seeing regiment after regiment of soldiers marching across broad, green fields, with bands playing, flags flying and their faces shining in the sun. finally they disappeared in a cloud of black smoke, and when this took place she had awakened unexpectedly.

sitting up in bed with her long flaxen braids hanging over either shoulder, mildred wondered what had aroused her at this strange hour? then she remembered[18] that it was the loud, clear ringing of their front door bell. moreover, she had since become conscious of other noises in the house. her brother had rushed out of his room and was calling to the man servant who had turned on the lights down in the front hall.

“i say, brown, be careful about opening that front door, will you? wait half a moment until i get hold of my pistol and i’ll join you. i don’t like this business of our being aroused at a time like this. it must be just before daylight and new york is full of burglars and cutthroats.”

dick then retired into his room and the next sound mildred heard was his voice expostulating with his mother.

“oh, go on back to bed, dearest, and for heaven’s sake keep father out of this. certainly there is no danger; besides, if there were i am not such a mollycoddle that i’m going to have brown bear the brunt. somebody’s got to open the door or that bell will never stop ringing.”

then dick’s feet in his bedroom slippers could be heard running down the uncarpeted[19] stairs. a moment later mildred got into her wrapper and stood with her arm about her mother’s waist, shivering and staring down into the hall.

if anything should happen to dick it would be too tragic! her mother adored him.

the butler was now unfastening the storm doors, while directly behind him dick waited with his pistol at a convenient level.

then both men stepped backward with astonished exclamations, allowing a queer, small figure to enter the hall without a word of protest. the next moment mildred was straining her ears to hear one of the most bewitching voices she had ever imagined. later an equally bewitching figure unfolded itself from a heavy coat.

“it’s sorry i am to have disturbed you at such an hour,” the girl began. “but how was i to know that the train from chicago would arrive at three o’clock in the morning instead of three in the afternoon? i was hoping some one would be at the station to meet me, though of course i didn’t expect it, so i just took a cab and found the way here myself.”

[20]

then the newcomer smiled with a kind of embarrassed wistfulness.

for the first time beholding dick’s pistol, which was now hanging in a dangerously limp fashion in his hand, she started.

“oh,” she exclaimed, “i suppose you think that in nebraska we go about with pistols in our hands instead of pocket handkerchiefs; but, really, we don’t welcome guests with them.”

having dropped her coat on the floor, the girl under the light looked so tiny that she seemed like a child. she had short, curly dark hair which her tight-fitting traveling cap had pressed close against her face. her eyes were big and blue, and perhaps because she was pale from fatigue her lips were extremely red.

indeed, dick thornton decided, and never afterwards changed his opinion, that she was one of the best looking girls he had ever seen in his life. but who could she be, where had she come from, and what was she doing in their house at such an extraordinary hour?

clearing his throat, dick made a tremendous[21] effort to appear impressive. yet he was frightfully conscious of his own absurdity. he knew that his hair must be standing on end, that his dressing gown had been donned in a hurry and that he had on slippers with a space between his feet and dressing gown devoid of covering. moreover, what was he to do with his absurd pistol?

“i am afraid you have made a mistake,” dick began lamely. “if you are a stranger in new york and have just arrived to visit friends, perhaps we can tell you where to find them. or, or, if you—” dick did not feel that it was exactly his place to invite a strange young woman to spend the rest of the night at their home; yet as her cab had gone one could hardly turn her out into the street. why did not his mother or mildred come on down and help him out. usually he knew the right thing to say and do, but this situation was too much for him. besides, the girl looked as if she might be going to cry.

but she was a plucky little thing, because instead of crying she tried to laugh.

[22]

“i have made a mistake, of course,” she faltered. “i was looking for judge richard thornton’s home on seventy-fourth street, the number was 28 i thought. has the cabman brought me to the wrong place?”

slowly mrs. thornton was now approaching them with mildred hovering in the background. but dick did not altogether like the expression of his mother’s face. it showed little welcome for the present intruder. now what could he say to make her happier before any one else had a chance to speak.

“why, that is my father’s name and our address all right, and i expect we are delighted to see you. i wonder if you would mind telling us your name and where you have come from? you see, we were not exactly looking for a visitor, but we are just as glad to see you.”

the girl had turned at once toward mrs. thornton and it was astonishing how much dignity she possessed in spite of her childish appearance.

“i regret this situation more than i[23] can express. i am sure i owe you an explanation, although i do not know exactly what it can be,” she began. “my name is barbara meade. several weeks ago my father wrote to his old school friend, judge richard thornton, saying that i was to be in new york for a short time on my way to england. he asked if it would be convenient to have me stay with you. he received an answer saying that it would be perfectly convenient and that i might come any day. then before i left, father telegraphed.” barbara’s lips were now trembling, although she still kept back the tears. “if you will call a cab for me, please, i shall be grateful to you. i would have gone to a hotel tonight, only i did not know whether a hotel would receive me at this hour.”

“my dear child, you will do no such thing. there has been some mistake, of course, since i have never heard of your visit. but certainly we are not going to turn you out in the night,” mrs. thornton interrupted kindly.

ordinarily she was supposed to be a[24] cold woman. now her manner was so charming that her son and daughter desired to embrace her at the same moment. but there was no time for further discussion or demonstration, because at this instant a new figure joined the little group. actually judge thornton looked more like a criminal than one of the most famous criminal lawyers in new york state.

nevertheless, immediately he put his arm about barbara meade’s shoulders.

“my dear little girl, you need never forgive me; i shall not forgive myself nor expect any one else to do so. certainly i received that letter from your father. daniel meade is one of my dearest friends besides being one of the finest men in the united states. moreover, i wrote him that we should be most happy to have his daughter stay with us as long as she liked, but the fact of the matter is—” several times the tall man cleared his throat. “well, my family will tell you that i am the most absent-minded man on earth. i simply forgot to mention the matter to my wife or any one else. so now[25] you have to stay on with us forever until you learn to forgive me.”

then dick found himself envying his father as he patted their visitor’s shoulder while continuing to beg her forgiveness.

but the next moment his mother and sister had led their little guest away upstairs. then when she was safely out of sight dick again became conscious of his own costume—or lack of it.

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