ordinary tricks performed by dogs.
every dog who has the good or ill fortune to be a member of civilized society is usually fated to undergo a more or less systematic education “in the way he should go.” this education may be either in the primitive style illustrated by the administration of a vigorous kick accompanying the command “get out,” to teach the dog to leave you, or the more elaborate training which culminates in the production of a canine prodigy. the capacity for education in dogs varies much with different varieties, and even with individuals of the same variety. while some are taught with the greatest difficulty, others display a wonderful aptitude for learning, and acquire a proficiency which is often really surprising. whether it is proposed to educate the animal as much as his capacity will admit of, or merely to teach him the things necessary for common convenience, the first thing is
to teach him his name.
if a dog has any particular name by which he is usually addressed, he will in time learn to answer to it. with a little system, however, he will learn much sooner than otherwise, and where there are several dogs it is a good plan to make each know his own distinctive title thoroughly, and to respond promptly to it. this will render your intercourse with, and your management of them, both easier and pleasanter. it may be accomplished by a very simple process. when you feed them, call each one by name to his food. if any of the others come forward, send them back. by dividing the food into small morsels and calling each dog in turn to receive his piece, always insisting that he and no other shall receive it, considerable of a lesson may be derived from each meal. when convenient take 80them out to walk, being careful to provide yourself with a few crackers or a piece of bread. allow the dogs to ramble about at their pleasure, and whenever you choose call some particular one by his name; when he comes to you reward him with a piece of cracker. by-and-by call some other one, and continue the plan at your discretion. at the end of ten or a dozen lessons they will have pretty well learned their names, and come at your call. if you have only one dog, the plan would be about the same.
to leap.
this is very a simple trick and easily taught. a line or pole may be extended from any convenient supports, just so high that the dog cannot step over. take your station on one side of this barrier with a supply of bread or cracker. by the offer of a small piece induce him to approach as near as possible to the line or pole, keeping the tid-bit close to his nose, but raised a trifle above it. now, with a sudden movement, extend your hand beyond the barrier, crying at the same moment, “hip,” or any other quick, inspiring exclamation. eager to get the tempting morsel he will leap over, and the same proceeding may be repeated once or twice, when he should be rewarded with the bait he has been striving for. after a few repetitions he will probably leap over at a motion of the hand and the word of command. he should always be rewarded for obeying, and it is well to have a light switch with which to give him a gentle cut should he attempt to run under, which he should never be permitted to do. the hight of the barrier may be increased gradually from day to day, taking care never to over-task his powers. with practice many dogs acquire the ability of making very creditable leaps. we had an old dog who had been attached to a circus in his youth, and had been rather “fast” in his proclivities. not being content to settle down to the quiet peacefulness of a back-yard existence, which he probably considered rather slow, he was in the habit of leaping over a fence at least ten feet high and plentifully studded with spikes, that he might indulge in a nightly canine spree with other festive dogs of his acquaintance.
when the dog leaps readily over a bar, a hoop may be held in the hand and the same system pursued. the hoop may be gradually lessened in size until the dog finally leaps through one hardly bigger around than his own body, but to do this the trainer must display some skill in conforming the motions of the hoop to those of the dog as he passes through.
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to walk erect.
walking erect.
hold a bone or other like temptation a little above the dog’s nose, but not so high as to lead him to jump to get it. as he reaches for it raise it so as to induce him to rise up on his hind feet, saying as you do so, “up, up!” when he reaches the proper stand-point, let him remain there a moment or two and then let him have the bone. soon he will stand up on your merely holding your hand in the position described and saying, “up, up.” then he may be taught to walk in this position by slowly moving the bone or your hand slightly in advance. these exercises should not be tediously prolonged, especially at first, for the position is an unnatural and very fatiguing one to the animal. after he thoroughly understands what is required of him you may check any attempt he may make to regain his natural position before you are willing, by a gentle tap under the chin or under the fore paws.
to dance.
a dog is generally considered sufficiently accomplished in this “graceful and agreeable art” when he has learned to hop around on his hind legs, and to keep turning completely around at short intervals. there are several modes of arriving at this result, the most simple of which is, probably, to take a long 82switch, after the dog has learned to stand erect, and to this switch attach a piece of meat. with this you can trace out in the air, in tempting proximity to his nose, the figures you wish him to take, and you may depend upon his instinct leading him to follow the motions of the switch. this may seem rather an absurd plan for initiating your pupil into the mysteries of the ball-room, but it is nevertheless one of the most effective that can be devised. the dog should be rewarded with the meat after he has danced enough to fairly earn it, and after a few lessons the switch may be used without any bait attached. he will at first follow its motions in the hope that there is something attached, and if he be rewarded for doing so, he will soon comprehend that following the switch means meat by-and-by. if he is dressed up in feminine apparel, as is generally done at public exhibitions, the absurd figure he cuts, and the ridiculous caricature of a lady “tripping the light fantastic toe” which he presents, is extremely laughable.
to jump rope.
after the dog has learned to leap at your command a light rope may be substituted for the pole, one end of the rope being attached to some stationary object while the other end is held in your hand. exercise the dog a few times at leaping the rope while it is without motion, and near the ground, using the command “hip,” or whatever one he has been trained to leap with, each time. then give the rope a slight motion and at the proper moment give the dog the usual command and he will obey it. by increasing the motion very gradually he will, after many lessons, be able to jump rope very creditably. he may be taught either to jump while standing on his full complement of legs, or in the perpendicular fashion.
to sit and lie down.
it is one thing to have your dog do a thing at his own convenience and of his own free will, and quite another thing to have him perform the same action at your desire, especially if he had a little rather not do it. this applies particularly to sitting or lying down, for it usually happens that when you desire him to do so he feels least inclined; but it is the trainer’s business to bend the animal’s will to his own, and in this case it may be done thus: taking your position with the dog in front of you, raise one hand over his head and make a motion with it as though about to strike him on the top of his head with your palm; as you do so repeat the word “down” distinctly and commandingly, with each motion of the hand. this should not 83be done as a menace, but to indicate your wishes. while you do this, press firmly with your other hand upon his back, just over the hips,—this pressure will assist in making him take the desired position. when he has done so he should be patted and made to understand that he has done right. repeat until he obeys the command readily, and then teach him to lie down, which consists in forcing him into a recumbent posture, as you command him to “lie down!”
to beg.
after the dog has learned to stand erect he may easily be taught to beg. all that is requisite is to press him down in the desired position; if he attempts to leave it a gentle tap on the head with the switch will be sufficient to control him. he may, if preferred, be taught to beg without learning to stand erect; in this case he may be made to sit down and then, pressing his haunches down to prevent his rising to his feet, tap him under the chin till he takes the right position. repetition is of course necessary until he learns what is desired, and each time you place him in position it is well to say “beg” two or three times so he may associate the word with the act. dogs, like many of the human race, after they have “got the hang of it,” will beg persistently for the sake of an occasional trifling reward.
to give his paw.
there is scarcely a boy’s pet dog who has not acquired this very simple trick, though his master probably would not recollect how it was taught. perhaps it was the dog’s sociable feelings that led him to perform the kindly ceremony of “shaking hands,” or perhaps it was due to the instinctive good breeding which is sometimes accredited to some people—and why not also to some dogs? whether politeness is a grace which adorns the canine character, however, is a question we hardly feel prepared to discuss, and it is much more probable that master harry, (or james, or whatever his name may be), with no special thought in regard to the matter, hit upon the secret which underlies all animal training—compelling obedience to a command until the command is obeyed without compulsion. what was more natural for our friend harry, when he first gave the momentous command of “paw,” and carlo utterly in the dark as to its signification, taking no notice of it—than to grip carlo’s fore “limb” and give it a shake? nothing in the world more natural. this is probably repeated at odd times until carlo learns to give his paw when harry says “paw,” or holds out his paw.
84if the same paw is always given, as it will be if during the training that one be always taken, the dog may be taught to offer the other one when you ask for the “other paw,” by merely taking it a few times when you make the request. by using “paw” for one and “other paw” for the other—“paw” first—the dog will seldom get them confused. it is preferable and makes the performance seem better, while it is really no more difficult, if the words “right” and “left” are used in connection with the commands. it is just as easy for a dog to learn the difference between “right paw” and “left paw,” as between “paw” and “other paw.” it is well to lay extra stress upon “right” and “left” while training, and these words should be pronounced very distinctly. should the dog offer the wrong paw merely repeat your former command until he changes it, then take it in your hand, call him “good dog,” and pat his head to let him know he has done right.
a little boy of our acquaintance had a very handsome newfoundland dog, and having often heard the family physician desire members of the family to let him feel their pulse, he thought it would be a capital idea, and having coaxed the cook to give him some choice bits of beef-steak, he commenced practice. “let me feel your pulse, bruno,” says he, and taking bruno’s paw in his fingers he imitated the doctor with a comical childish assumption of professional gravity. he scarcely intended, when he commenced, to make bruno offer his pulse for examination at his desire, but bruno was an intelligent dog and the beef-steak was very good, and before long he would stick his paw out as nicely as could be desired. our little friend, delighted with the result of his efforts, lost no opportunity of showing off bruno’s accomplishment, and the dog was continually holding out his “pulse” for the examination of visitors. the doctor calling some time after was somewhat amused at our little friend’s request to bruno to “let the doctor feel your pulse,” and bruno’s ready compliance therewith.
we had a half-grown puppy of one of the larger breeds some years since, which by constant training became so used to offering his paw that he would do so to visitors or others without being ordered to. one day a strange cat intruded upon the premises, and puppy made a rush at it with every token of hostility. when near it, however, habit appeared to gain a mastery, for he held out his paw as usual. the cat being irritated by his previous threatening aspect merely struck at him with her claws, inflicting quite a severe scratch, whereupon puppy, perceiving politeness to be at a discount, pitched in and routed the enemy gallantly.
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to sneeze.
on a recent visit to a friend we came across a dog who would sneeze in a most natural manner whenever his master said, “sneeze, zip.” this being the only example of a dog performing this trick which we had ever seen we desired our friend to give us some particulars of the manner of teaching the trick, which he obligingly did, to this effect: “one afternoon, having nothing more important to do, i was amusing myself by bothering zip with a long feather which i poked in his face, to induce him to snap at it. while doing this i by chance tickled his nose, he immediately commenced sneezing. once commenced, it seemed as though he would never stop, and i said, rather sarcastically, ‘sneeze, zip.’ i don’t suppose my words had any effect, but he certainly did sneeze; this gave me the idea of teaching him to repeat it at my bidding. armed with my feather i commenced operations; tickling his nose gently each time i repeated the command. he didn’t like the feather very well, and by-and-by, as though his imagination foreshadowed its effects, he would sneeze on having it pointed in close proximity to his nose. at odd times when i had a little idle time on my hands, i repeated the exercise, and the dog in a few weeks would sneeze very creditably when i commanded. i was in the habit of rewarding every first rate sneeze with a butter cracker, of which zip was very fond. zip has since had the reputation of suffering from severe colds in the head.”
this was the only special accomplishment which zip possessed, and whether this was the result of peculiarly sensitive olfactory organs or his master’s training we are unable to say. of the merits of the latter we are not prepared to speak, having never given the system an actual trial, but we should imagine that such a course might succeed.
to speak for it.
this may be taught either in connection with the preceding trick, as a portion of it, or by itself. if the former, it is better to let the dog thoroughly master the first part, begging, before it is attempted to teach him to “speak for it.” take a piece of some article of food which he is fond of, and allowing him to see it, command him to “speak for it!” of course he will not understand what you mean, and will probably only gaze wistfully at the morsel. by-and-by he will grow impatient and give vent to a sharp bark. the moment he has done this give him the article, for although he has not understood you he has done what you desired, and by rewarding him he learns that 86this is the case. practice him a little at some of his old tricks with another reward at hand to encourage him. should he try the experiment of barking while thus engaged no notice should be taken of it, for it is not desired that he should bark except he be told to, and his doing so in other cases should never be rewarded. when you wish it, repeat the command of “speak for it,” and when he obeys reward him. if at first he does not show an inclination to bark he may be stimulated to do so by your giving a “bow-wow” yourself in as doggish a manner as you are able. this encroachment on his language will generally have the desired effect, for few dogs can resist replying to this act which they no doubt deem an impertinent meddling with their “mother tongue.”
to fetch and carry.
dog taught to carry basket.
this accomplishment may often be put to great practical use, and it is an excellent plan to teach all dogs, which are large enough to be of any service in this manner, to carry baskets or parcels when accompanying their masters. the mode of training is very simple, consisting of merely placing the article in the dog’s mouth, and when he lets go of it give him a slight box on the ear and replace the article in his mouth. whatever is given him to carry should be of such a form as to be grasped 87easily by him without hurting his mouth or teeth. the weight should at first be very light and never more than he can easily carry. most dogs will take a real pleasure in carrying articles in this manner, and they seem to feel the responsibility attached to their duty, for they will carry their own or their master’s dinner without attempting to appropriate any portion of it until the proper time when their share shall be given them. in teaching dogs to carry food, however, it is necessary to take a little special pains to overcome their instinctive inclinations to eat it. a good plan is to place the article in a covered basket which they cannot open, and when the dog has learned to carry an ordinary parcel give him this. if he attempts to get at the food, which he readily detects by his sense of smell, box his ears. by-and-by reward him with the food, and then try him with a basket from which he can abstract the contents; if he tries to do so punish him slightly, never permitting him to steal the food. if a dog ever deserves a reward for well doing he certainly does in this case, for it is too bad to tantalize him with the smell of some dainty and then not to let him finally have something for his good conduct.
to make a dog carry articles from one person to another it is only necessary for two persons to take their position at some distance from one another. one gives the dog some article saying, “go, sir,” at the same time. as the first says this let the other person call or whistle to the dog. now let this one give the dog some thing and let the other one call him, and so on back and forth until he will go from one to the other at the command, “go, sir.” the distance between the parties may be increased from time to time, and the trick may be varied by one of them hiding himself, this will teach the dog to hunt for the person to whom he is to deliver the article, which will prove useful when you by-and-by desire to send him on an actual errand to a distance.
the extent to which any dog may be educated in this matter depends very much upon his natural intelligence and the skill and perseverance of his teacher. many anecdotes are told of dogs going on errands. in some cases they go to the post-office for letters, in other cases to the store for groceries, etc., and we recollect several instances cited where dogs would, on being given a piece of money, go to the baker’s and purchase cake on their own account. the baker, in one of these instances, is said to have one day palmed a stale bun upon a dog who had been in the habit of coming to him regularly with pennies, and the animal, to show he was not to be imposed upon, transferred his custom to a rival establishment. in none of these accounts 88have we ever seen any mention of the dogs having been subjected to any special training, and it is more than likely that they never were. animals, like men, are creatures of habit. if a man becomes accustomed to a certain routine it is difficult for him to change. many merchants, retired from business, continue to pay a daily visit to their old offices, their brokers or lawyers, just because not to do so would make them uncomfortable and restless. so a dog who has become used to accompanying his master on any regular round of duties will often show that he understands where it is they are going by running ahead and stopping at the accustomed place. we call to mind a dog belonging to a gentleman residing some miles from this city, who will serve as an example of what we have stated, though probably all of our readers are familiar with instances equally, if not more, remarkable. the gentleman was accustomed to walk from his residence some half mile to take the morning train for the city, and to return by a particular train in the evening. the dog accompanied him to the cars in the morning, and would again meet him on the arrival of the train at night. it took him some weeks to learn when to expect his master, but after that he never made any mistakes.
a writer in one of the magazines mentions a poodle who was in the habit of going to church with his master and sitting with him in the pew during the whole service. sometimes his owner did not come, but the poodle was always promptly in his place, remaining during the service and departing with the rest of the congregation. one sunday the dam at the head of a lake in the neighborhood gave way, and the whole road was inundated. the attendance at church that morning was therefore restricted to a few individuals who came from near by. but by the time the clergyman had commenced, he saw our friend the poodle coming slowly up the aisle dripping with water, having been obliged to swim a quarter of a mile to get there.
it is not very difficult to teach a dog to go on errands. suppose you wish him to go to market for you of a morning; take him with you regularly for a few mornings, letting him carry the basket. in a few days he will understand when you start where it is you propose to go, and will, perhaps, run on ahead and arrive there some minutes before you. it would be well on all occasions before starting to give the command, “go to market,” which will accustom him to it.
we do not vouch for the truth of the story of the dog who, on being given—when purchasing one time on his own account, with money given him for that purpose—a piece of meat inferior to what he considered his due, went and brought a policeman.
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to bring his tail in his mouth.
the dog having been taught to fetch and carry, an amusing application of this knowledge can be made by having him bring his own tail in his mouth. this trick is exceedingly funny and is always hailed with roars of laughter. the feat is rather difficult for while his tail is in his mouth, the dog can only advance in something like crab fashion, or sideways, with an almost irresistible tendency to go around in a circle without getting ahead any. to attain success in teaching this trick the dog must be gifted with a good deal of tail, and the trainer with a good deal of patience. dogs will in play grasp their tails, and most persons have noticed while frolicking with a dog that if the dog’s tail be taken hold of with one’s hand, the dog will attempt to seize the hand with his mouth, and if his tail be now dexterously placed in his way, he will seize that. this perhaps first suggested the idea of the trick, and this is the initial step of the training. when the dog takes hold of his tail praise him, and after he has held it a little while bid him “let go,” and reward him. should he relinquish his hold before you order him to, speak sharply to him and commence again. when he has learned to retain hold of his tail until ordered to relinquish it, the more difficult part of his lesson may be taught—the bringing it to the trainer. the trainer at first takes his place a few feet from the dog in the direction in which the dog can most easily advance, and calls the dog; should he let go his tail to come, he is to be scolded, and the tail replaced in his mouth. when he comes without letting go, he should be rewarded. gradually the distance he is required to come may be increased, but it would be cruel to make this distance more than half a dozen yards. when the tail is placed in his mouth it is well to say, “bring me your tail,” to accustom him to the order. by-and-by when you give this order merely hold his tail for him to grasp, and at last let him seize it without any assistance from you.
the rolling ball.
there are several modifications of this trick, or rather there are several feats all performed with this instrument—a globe of wood or other material some two feet in diameter. one of these feats consists in the dog standing with his hind feet upon the ground, and resting his paws on the ball, pushing it forward, or up and down an inclined plane. this is easily taught, and the only difficult part of the performance is the descent of the inclined plane, where the ball is apt to roll away from the animal. to teach this trick it is only requisite to place the dog’s paws upon 90the ball and set it slowly in motion; as you do this tap his hind legs gently from behind to urge him to step forward. it may be necessary to hold him in position by the nape of the neck at first, but he should very soon learn to retain his position without this aid. when he rolls the ball readily upon a level, substitute a wide plank very slightly inclined, up which he should be required to roll the ball. increase the inclination of the plank slightly with each lesson, but the descent should only be attempted after he has been thoroughly drilled in the preceding exercises. it will be necessary to commence with a very slight inclination and to promptly stop the ball should the dog begin to lose control of it. the width of the plank may be decreased eventually to some ten or twelve inches.
to stand entirely upon the ball while it is in motion, and to propel it backward and forward, and up and down the inclined plane, starting and stopping it as well as guiding its motions in the desired direction—is a more difficult feat. in this the dog must be practiced in standing upon the ball while it has no motion; in several lessons in this just the barest possible motion is to be given to the ball while a slight hold upon the dog’s neck keeps him in position. the motion may be slowly increased with each lesson, but the ball must for many lessons be held firmly with the hand to prevent it becoming unmanageable. when the dog becomes able to maintain his position he may be required to manage the ball without any assistance. in all cases where he gets down from the ball, accidentally or willfully, he should be spoken to sharply, but the trainer should be equally prompt to praise and reward success.
to walk on stilts.
the stilts used in this trick are about twelve or fifteen inches in length, made to fasten to the leg just below the knee joint, with tape or thin flexible leather straps. when four are used there is no particular training required to make the dog walk upon them; it being only necessary to put him “on his pins” again whenever he upsets. the tumble is sufficient punishment for his failures. walking man fashion on only two stilts is a much more difficult task, though it has been accomplished in some cases. the dog should be first thoroughly taught the walking erect trick, then stilts may be put on his hind legs. a cord attached to his collar and held in the trainer’s hand will aid in maintaining the dog’s balance until he becomes accustomed to his novel position. of course the dog cannot raise himself upon the stilts, but must be placed erect by the trainer. the farther training is similar to that described for teaching 91him to walk erect. a story is told of a dog who actually found a wooden leg of practical use; one having been furnished him by a whimsical surgeon who had amputated an injured limb for him.
to go up and down a ladder.
climbing the ladder.
in teaching this trick two ladders should be provided about six feet in length and joined together at the top ends so as to form an angle when the other ends are placed on the ground. the bars of these ladders should be flat and sufficiently near together to enable the dog easily to step from one round to another. standing at the side of this ladder with a switch in your right hand you whistle to the dog, or call him by name, and tap the first round of the ladder with your switch to indicate he is to step upon it. when he places his fore paws on this round, tap the next in the same manner, saying, “go on,” to him. if he does not obey strike his hind legs lightly from behind, while you encourage him with your voice and snap your fingers in front of him to urge him forward. a tid-bit of some kind held in tempting proximity to his nose may have an encouraging effect. after ascending one ladder he should be made to go down the other. he will be inclined to jump to the ground in preference to descending step by step; should he do this he must be punished and made to commence over again. when on the ladder if he hesitates about proceeding gently tap the toes of the foot he should next advance. when two dogs have been taught to go over the ladders a race may be arranged, the dog who first goes three times over to be rewarded. the dogs 92will soon understand that when they are both ordered to go over, speed is expected; the dainty given to the winner will be an incentive to exertion. by making one dog go up to where the ladders join, turning half around and forming an arch of his body, the other dog can go over the ladders, passing beneath the belly of the “arch.” this is a very trifling feat but it generally pleases an audience.
the ladder climbing forms really the principal part of the celebrated siege scene, performed by dogs and monkeys. this scene, we believe, was first enacted in london in the year 1753, by a troupe of dogs and monkeys which acquired considerable celebrity by their performances. they were owned by a lady, who had also taught them, and went by the name of mrs. midnight’s animal commedians. a small stage was specially fitted up for their performances, furnished with scenery, decorations, etc., and to these adjuncts was no doubt due much of the success of the troupe. the performance was much like modern ones; the tricks are all included in this chapter and the one on monkeys; the famous siege being only a clever combination of the different tricks. each animal was taught a particular part and merely obeyed the signals of the exhibition.
to stand on his head and to walk on his fore legs.
walking on fore legs.
the term “standing on the head” is applied to a “wrong end up” position though the animal is actually supported by his 93fore paws, his head not necessarily touching the ground. to teach the trick, provide yourself with a switch twenty inches in length, and moderately stout. this switch, held in your right hand, you place under the dog’s belly, and while you raise up his hind quarters with it, you place your left hand on his head to keep him from moving away, and to make him retain his reversed position. as the dog rises into position the switch should be gradually carried along until it supports his hind feet. this is the process for the first few lessons, until the dog understands what is required; after that it is better merely to tap his ankles from in front with your switch, giving at the same time whatever order you have accustomed him to in teaching the trick. he should eventually take the position without any hint or help from the switch.
when the preceeding trick is thoroughly mastered, the walking part may be easily added. taking your position a little in front of your pupil when he is in his upside-down position, you encourage him to come to you. at the same time you must keep your switch in handy proximity to his toes, which you tap lightly on any signs of his relinquishing his position. by-and-by he may be made to walk quite a distance.
to “sing.”
when a dog howls in time, we think it fair to call his performance “singing.” dogs may be taught to do this; at least they have been, and it is reasonable to presume it may be done again. in only one case of this kind do we know positively the mode of tuition, but it was probably pretty much the same in all cases. this consisted in keeping the dog without food until his appetite was quite sharp. when food was shown him, he naturally whined for it. now, a dog may be made to whine, howl, or bark, if you make any of those noises yourself; almost any dog will imitate you, and not only that, but the pitch and style of noise he makes will be somewhat regulated by that made by you. the hungry dog is in prime mental condition for this exercise, and if rewarded when he hits pretty near upon the right degree of noise, he will learn to follow your tones quite accurately. if exercised in a regular scale, or in a simple tune, he will by-and-by go through it without requiring your prompting, with sufficient accuracy to be recognized—if the hearers know beforehand what melody to expect.
it is not pretended, of course, that dogs trained as above described, do anything but repeat a series of noises mechanically in a prescribed rotation. we find recorded, however, one instance of a dog learning to discriminate between the different 94notes, and to detect false ones in a musical performance. the story seems improbable, but may be true; however, it is worth telling:
“frederick schwartz, a merchant retired from business in darmstadt, occupied his leisure hours, which were many, almost exclusively with music. his passion for the art acquired such an intensity that he required every one about him to fall in with his musical predilections by either vocal or instrumental co?peration. poodle, the dog, was the only one unable to render any musical assistance. as worthy herr schwartz felt the utter impossibility of making poodle afford any practical aid, he determined to train him to fill the office of critic in his own harmonious community. he succeeded, too, by an ingenious method. whenever a note out of tune proceeded from a voice or an instrument; every time that a musical fault was committed by any member of the family—and such faults were committed purposely—the rod was applied to poodle’s back, and he naturally began to bark and howl. he was exactly in the position of the whipping boy, who pursued his studies with the royal prince. whenever the prince made a grammatical blunder, the whipping boy had to smart for it. before long, simple threats were substituted for smitings of his (poodle’s) back; afterward a look sufficed to set the creature barking; and little by little poodle familiarized himself with wrong notes and other musical atrocities, until at last a mistake could not be committed without his rebuking it either by a bark or a growl. he thus became, as far as music was concerned, the most impartial judge, the most conscientious critic in the whole grand duchy of hesse darmstadt.
“unfortunately, his appreciation of musical art was completely and solely negative. he bestowed no praise, but only blame. sing with expression, perform with talent, the dog would remain impassive and cold; but at the slightest incorrectness of intonation he ground his teeth, lashed his tail, growled, yelped, and barked aloud. so long as he flourished—and he may flourish still—not a concert or an opera was rehearsed in darmstadt without inviting herr frederick schwartz and his dog—but more especially the dog. if the prima donna made the slightest slip, the dog looked at his master with an air of disapprobation. if the hautboys came in too late, poodle pricked up his ears; if the clarionet hurried the movement, poodle fidgeted on his bench; if the kettle-drummer broke the time, poodle uttered audible murmurs. in fact, no piece was considered properly executed unless the canine connoisseur remained quiet on his seat.
95“nor must it be supposed that poodle’s instinct was limited to forming a judgment of the execution only. his intelligence, trained by hearing classical works, seemed to have penetrated some of the secrets of composition. an abrupt modulation, a false resolution, would produce symptoms of doubt on poodle’s muzzle; consecutive fifths made him shudder, and a halting melody set his teeth on edge. sometimes herr schwartz and his intimate friends, in the privacy of a snug little quartette party, would amuse themselves by producing discordant sounds, for the sake of tormenting the sensitive animal. on such occasions poodle lost all self-command: his hair stood on end, his eyes became bloodshot, and frightful howlings answered to the discord produced by the fiddles of the mystificators. moreover, they were obliged to keep within certain bounds. poodle possessed only a limited stock of forbearance. if the cacophony was too intense or too prolonged, poodle, carrying out his sense of duty, upset everything. music-stands, music-stools, and instruments, were strewed in confusion about the room.”
the lump of sugar trick.
this consists in placing a lump of sugar on the dog’s nose, and having him toss it up and catch it in his mouth. it is not essential that sugar should be used; any other dainty will do as well, indeed a piece of meat will answer better in teaching the trick. in teaching, hold your switch under the dog’s chin, and tap him whenever he tries to lower his head to let the meat drop. if he does not presently jerk his head up, and so throw the morsel into the air, you should strike him under the chin a pretty smart rap to make him do so. when it leaves his nose there will be no instruction required to make him seize it promptly before it has a chance to reach the ground; should it, however, touch the ground, it is well to take it from him, and make him toss it again.
to feign death.
a dog may be placed on his back or in almost any other posture, and by speaking sharply to him and threatening him with your forefinger, you can prevent his changing his position. in this manner the trick of feigning death is taught. if a special word of command be used when placing him, he will learn to take the position on hearing that command.
