on the island of ascension

there are only ladies ten,

the remaining population

being officers or men.

"dear me!" i hear you saying,

"how united they must be!"

but in this you'd be mistaken,

as you'll very quickly see.

for each lady on the island

thinks she ought to take the lead

in social matters, and on this

they're not at all agreed.

and mrs. smith's told mrs. brown

she thinks her most absurd,

while others cut each other dead

and don't exchange a word.

this state of thing's been going on

they tell me year by year,

and the husbands have grown tired of it

as we should do i fear;

for connubial felicity

is doomed, if all our lives

are spent in listening to the faults

of other people's wives.

quite recently a steamer called

for cinnamon and spice,

and her captain and the officers

were asked for their advice.

they gave it promptly. it was this—

"'twere better you agreed,

in social matters, just to let

the eldest lady lead."

they tried it. but—good gracious!

they are worse off than before,

for every lady in the place

is firm upon that score.

impossible it is that age

shall be the final test,

for every one insists that she

is younger than the rest!