kidnappin’ in new york—peter spends three years in hartford—couldn’t help thinkin’ of solena—hartford convention—stays a year in middletown—hires to a man in west springfield—makes thirty-five dollars fishin’ nights—great revival in springfield—twenty immersed—sexton of church in old springfield—religious sentiments—returns to new york—solena again—susan macy married—pulls up for the bay state again—lives eighteen months in westfield—six months in sharon—joshua nichols leaves his wife—peter goes after him and finds him in spencertown, new york—takes money back to mrs. nichols—returns to spencertown—lives at esq. pratt’s—works next summer for old captain beale—his character—falls in love—married—loses his only child—wife helpless eight months—great revival of 1827—feels more like gittin’ religion—“one sabba’day when the minister preached at me”—a resolution to get religion—how to become a christian—evening prayer-meeting—peter’s convictions deep and distressing—going home he kneels on a rock and prayed—his prayer—the joy of a redeemed soul—his family rejoice with him.
peter. “well, i sot a hearin’ susan’s story till midnight, and that brought back old scenes agin, and there i sot and listened to her story till i had enemost cried my eyes out of my head, and i have only gin you the outline. and that kidnappin’ used to be carried on that way in new york year after year, and it’s carried on yit. ? [15] why, they used to steal away any and every colored person they could steal, and this is all carried on by northern folks tu, and it’s fifty times worse than louisiana slavery.
15. it became so common in new york that there was no safety for a colored person there, and philanthropy and religion demanded some protection for them against such a shocking system.—at last there was a vigilance committee organized for the purpose of ascertaining the names and residences of every colored person in the city; and this committee used regularly to visit all on the roll, and almost every day some one was missing. the result has been that several hundreds of innocent men and women and children have been retaken from their bondage, from the holds of respectable merchantmen in new york, to the parlours of southern gentry in new-orleans. the facts which have been brought out by this committee are awful beyond description.—it is one of the noblest, and most patriotic and efficient organization on the globe. but their design expands itself beyond the protection and recovery of kidnapped friends;—it also lifts a star of guidance and promise upon the path of the fugitive slave; it helps him on his way to freedom, and not one week passes by without witnessing the glorious results of this humane and benevolent institution, in the protection of the free or the redemption of the enslaved. the humane society, whose object is to recover to life those who have been drowned, enlists the patronage and encomiums of the great and good, and yet this vigilance committee are insulted and abused by many of the public presses in new york, and most of the city authorities.—why? slavery has infused its deadly poison into the heart of the north.
“well, i stayed in new york till my time was out, and then went to hartford and worked three years, and enjoyed myself pretty well, only i couldn’t help thinkin’ ’bout solena. she was mixed up with all my dreams and thoughts, and i used to spend hours and hours in thinkin’ about what i’d lost. but arter all i suffered, i’m kind’a inclined to think ’twas all kind in god to take her away, for arter this, i never was so wicked agin nigh. i hadn’t time or disposition to hunt up my old comrades, and if any time i begun to plunge into sin, then the thought of solena’s memory would come up afore me and check me in a minute, but i was yit a good ways from rale religion.
“while i was there, in december, 1814, the famous hartford convention sot with closed doors, and nobody could find out what they was about, and every body was a talkin’ about it, and they han’t got over talkin’ about it, and i don’t b’lieve they ever will. the same winter the war closed and peace was declared. i could tell a good many stories about the war, but i guess ‘twould make the book rather too long, and every body enemost knows all about the last war.
“well, i went down to middletown and stayed a year there, and then i went to hire out to a man in west springfield, and he was a farmer, and he hadn’t a chick nor child in the world, and he had a share in a fishin’ place on the connecticut, and he was as clever as the day is long. he let me fish nights and have all i got, and sometimes i’ve made a whole lot of money at one haul, and in that season i made thirty-five dollars jist by fishin’ nights, besides good wages—and i didn’t make a dollar fishin’ for gideon morehouse nights for years!
“while i was there a baptist minister come on from boston and preached some time, and they had a great revival, and i see twenty immersed down in the connecticut, and ’twas one of the most solemn scenes that ever i witnessed.
“they went down two by two to the river, and he made a prayer and then sung this hymn, and i shan’t ever forget it, for a good many on ’em was young.
“‘now in the heat of youthful blood,
remember your creator god;
behold the months come hastening on
when you shall say ‘my joys are gone.’”
“and then he went in and baptized ’em; and i know i felt as though i wished i was a christian, for it seemed to me there was somethin’ very delightful in it, and then they sung and prayed agin, and then went home.
“arter this i lived in old springfield and was sexton of the church there; and while i rung that bell i heard good preachin’ every sunday, and i larnt more ’bout religion than i’d ever knowed in all my life. i begun to feel a good deal more serious and the need of gettin’ religion.
“arter my time was out there, i went down to new york, and there i met solena’s brother, and that brought every thing fresh to mind agin, and for weeks agin i spent sorrowful hours. i thought i had about got over it and the wound was healed; but then ‘twould git tore open agin and bleed afresh, and sorrowful as ever. it did seem to me that nothin’ would banish the image of that gal from my heart.
“i used to call and see susan macy occasionally, and she was now mrs. williams, and lived in good style tu, for a colored person. she was married at mr. macy’s and they made a great weddin’, and all the genteel darkies in new york was there; and i wan’t satisfied with waitin’ on one, i must have two, and if we didn’t have a stir among our color about them times i miss my guess; and mr. macy set her out with five hundred dollars, and she had a fine husband and they lived together as comfortable as you please.
“now i concluded i’d quit the city for good, i spent more money there and had worse habits, and besides all this i wanted to git away as fur as i could from the scene of my disappintment.
“well, i pulled up stakes agin and put out for the bay state agin, and i put into westfield, and stayed there eighteen months, and made money and saved it, and behaved myself, and ‘tended meetin’ every sabba’day, and gained friends and was as respectable as any body. from westfield i went to sharon and there i stayed six months, and ‘tended a saw mill, and there was a colored man there by the name of joshua nichols, who had married a fine gal, and he lived with her till she had one child and then left her, and went out to columbia county, new york; and i started off for albany, and she axed me if i wouldn’t find her husband on my route, and so i left sharon and got here to spencertown, and found him, and axed him why he would be so cruel as to leave his wife? he says ‘if you’ll go and carry some money and a letter down to her i’ll pay you.’ so he gin me the things and i put out for sharon, and when miss nichols broke open the letter she burst into tears, and says i, “why miss nichols what’s the matter?” “why joshua says this is the last letter i may ever expect from him.”—well, i stayed one night, and come back and concluded i’d go on for albany, but when i got to erastus pratt’s he wanted to hire me six months, and i hired, and his family was nice folks, and he had a whole fleet of gals—and they was all as fine as silk, but i used to tell aunt phebe, that harriet was the rather the nicest—on ’em all. arter my six months was out, i worked a month in shoein’ up his family, and i guess like enough some on ’em may be in the garret yet.
“next summer i hired out to old capt. beale, and he was a noble man, and did as much for supportin’ benevolent societies as any other man in town, and in the mean time, i had got acquain’ted with her who is now my wife, and this summer i was married to her by esq. jacob lawrence, and in the winter we went to keepin’ house.
“when we had been married over a year, we had a leetle boy born, and the leetle feller died and i felt bad enough, for he was my only child, and it was despod hard work too, to give him up. i had at last found a woman i loved, and all my wanderings and extravagancies was over, and i was gettin’ in years, and i thought i could now be happy and enjoy all the comforts of a home and fireside, but this was all blasted when i laid that leetle feller in the grave, and my wife was sick and helpless eight months.
“in 1827 a great revival spread over this whole region, and was powerful here, and i used to go to all the meetin’s, and i begun to think more about religion than i ever did in all my life; and these feelin’s hung on to me ’bout a year, and agin i gin myself up to the world, and plunged into sin, and grieved the spirit of god, and grew dreadful vile, as all the folks ‘round here will say, if you ax ’em.—and i myself, who knows more ’bout myself than any other body, s’pose that at heart, i was one of the wickedest men in the world.
“well, along in 1828 the religious feelin’ ‘round in this region, begun to rise agin ‘round in this neighbourhood, and there was a good many prayer meetin’s held, principally at deacon mayhew’s, and esq. pratt’s, and i used to ‘tend ’em pretty steady, and i got back my old feelin’ agin, and now felt more a good deal like gittin’ religion, than i ever had; and rain or shine, i’d be at the meetin’s, and i detarmined i’d go through it, if i went at all. this church here, which has since got so tore and distracted, was all united, and seemed to be a diggin’ all the same way, and christ was among ’em. there was one sabbath day, i shan’t ever forgit, and when i went to meetin’, and the minister took his text ‘turn ye, turn ye, for why will ye die?’ the very minute the words come out of his mouth, an arrow went to my heart, and i felt the whole sarmint was aimed at me, and i felt despod guilty. i went home, and that night i was distressed beyond all account, and i went to bed troubled to death. but i formed the resolution, if there was any thing in religion i’d have it, if i could git it, and i was detarmined as i could be that i would hunt for the way of salvation; and when i found it, i travelled in it, and consider that there i begun right. but i was as ignorant of rale religion as a horse-block, and i didn’t know how to go to work. sometimes, something would say, ‘oh! peter, give up the business, you can’t git it through,’ but i held on to my resolution despod tight; and i think, that is the way for a body to go about getting religion; on the start, be detarmined to hunt for the path of duty, and as soon as you find it, go right to travellin’ on it, and keep on; i knew i had some duty to do to god, and i knew i must hunt for it if i found it, and do it if i ever got the favor of god.
“well, one night there was a prayer meetin’ in the church, and a shower of prayer come down on the house like a tempest, and oh! how they did beseech god that night—as the bible says, ‘with strong cryin’ and tears.’
“deacon mayhew got up and says, ‘there’s full liberty for any body to git up and speak or pray.’ and i felt as though i must git up and say somethin’ or pray, i was so distressed; but then i was a black man, and was afeard i couldn’t pray nice enough, and so i set still, but i felt like death. a number of young converts, prayed and made good prayers, and there was a despod feelin’ there i tell ye.
“arter meetin’ a good many folks spoke to me, but i couldn’t answer ’em for tears; and so i started for home, when i was goin’ cross the lots a cryin’ i come to a large flat rock, and looked round to see if any body was near by, and then i kneeled down and ’twas the first time i ever raly prayed.
“i begun, but i was so full i couldn’t only say these words and i recollect ’em well.
“‘oh! lord, here i be a poor wretch; do with me just as you please; for i have sinned with an out stretched arm, and i feel unworthy of the least mercy, but i beg for blood, the blood of him that died calvary! oh! help me, keep up my detarmination to do my duty, and submit to let you dispose on me jist as you please, for time and eternity; oh! lord hear this first prayer of a hell-desarving sinner.’”
“well, i got up, and felt what i never felt afore; i felt willing to do god’s will, and that i was reconciled to god; afore this, i had felt as though god was opposed to me, and i’d got to shift round afore he’d meet me, and feel reconciled to me. i looked up to heaven, and i couldn’t help sayin’, ‘my father:’ never before nor sence, have i felt so much joy and peace as i felt then, i was glad to be in god’s hands, and let him reign, for i knew he would do right, and i felt sich a love for him, as i can’t describe.
“i got up from the rock, and the world did look beautiful round me; the moon shone clear, and the stars, and then i thought about david, when he tells about his feelin’s when he looked at the same moon and stars; you see i was changed and that made the world look so new; and this beautiful world was god’s world, and god was my father, and that made me happy, and that is ’bout all i can say ’bout it.
“i went home, and found my wife and mother-in-law abed and ‘sleep, and i lit up the candle and wakes ’em up, and says,
“i’ve found the pearl of great price.”
“i gits down the new testament, for i had no bible, and never owned one till this time, and says, “i’ll read a chapter and then make a prayer, (for you see my wife had larnt me to read arter a fashion,) and they say ‘that’s right peter, i’m glad you feel as though you could pray,’ i opened the testament to the 14th chapter of john, ‘let not your heart be troubled; ye believe in god, believe also in me,’ &c. then i made a prayer and set up my family altar, and i have prayed in my family every day, and mean to keep it up, for i believe all christians ought to pray mornin’ and evenin’ in their families.
“well, i went to bed and talked to my wife ’bout religion, till i fairly talked her asleep, and then i lay awake and thought, and prayed, and wept for joy, and it will be a good while afore i forgit that night.
“for who can express
the sweet comfort and peace
of a soul in its arliest love.”
the end
