the place which alice claxton called her home, of which she was sole mistress, and which she dearly loved, was situate at hendon. an old-fashioned, dreamy, by-gone kind of village, which, in these latter days, the midland railway has discovered to be a metropolitan suburb, and, as such, has brought it into vogue. until within a very few years, however, it was one of the quietest places in england, visited occasionally in the summer by a few people from town, who found that hampstead had been already almost swallowed up in bricks and mortar, and who extended their outing to get a little fresher air, and to enjoy the lovely view from hendon church. but its inhabitants generally were nothing-doing sort of people, bred and born in the parish, who preferred vegetating on an income which enabled them to keep a pony-chaise, and gave them perpetual leisure for pottering in their gardens, rather than adventuring their little capital, in speculations which might be disastrous, and which undoubtedly would be questionable.
the house where alice claxton lived was on the right-hand side of the way as you turn from the little main street of the village towards the church. there is no use in looking for it now; it has been pulled down, and on its site have been erected two brand-new stucco villas, with plate-glass windows and brass door-knockers, high flights of door-steps with a stone pine-apple on either side, and long strips of garden before and behind, which the landscape-gardener's art has decorated with beds in the shape of pears, and hearts, and crosses, and various other elegant and appropriate designs. but in alice's days it was a long, low-roofed, one-storied house, built of bricks of a comfortable warm ruddiness, without being glaringly red, and covered all over with a splendid virginia creeper, which at this autumnal time was just assuming its loveliest hue. the rooms on the ground-floor were large, with rather low ceilings, and opening with french windows on a little paved terrace verandah-covered. it had been john claxton's delight to suit the fittings and the furniture to the place for which they were destined. no modern stoves were to be found throughout it, but open fire-places inlaid with tiles, and iron dogs; the high-backed chairs, the broad table, and the heavy sideboard of the dining-room, were all in antique black oak; but in the drawing-room he had endeavoured to consult what he conjectured to be his wife's fancy, and the venetian mirrors on the walls reflected the sheen of green silk and gold, with which the low quaint chairs and sofa and ottoman were covered, and produced endless repetitions of numerous tasteful specimens of glass and china with which the various étagères and whatnots were liberally covered. alice, who before her marriage had been governess to the children of a quaker wine-merchant in york, whose drab furniture had done good service during three generations, clapped her hands in childish delight at the first glimpse of her new home, and immediately afterwards turning round, reproved her husband for his extravagance. but john claxton, catching her in his arms, declared that it was only a little nest just fitted for his bright, shining, sweet little bird, and he earnestly prayed that she might be happy in it.
and she was happy; so happy that she sometimes felt her happiness was too great to be lasting, and that some reverse of fortune must be in store for her. but these flights of depression only happened when john was away on his business tours, and then only during the first half of his absence, for during the second she was busy in contemplating his return, and in devising all kinds of little expedients to show how welcome he was. see her now on this bright october evening, so neatly and becomingly dressed in her tightly-fitting mouse-coloured velveteen gown, fastened round the waist by a narrow black-leather belt and buckle, with a linen collar round her pretty throat, and linen cuffs showing off her small white hands. she had filled every available ornament with the remnants of the summer garden produce, the last of the monthly roses, and the scarlet geraniums and calceolarias, and the earliest of the autumnal crop of dahlias, china-asters, and chrysanthemums. the air was chill without, but within the light from the wood logs flickered brightly on the plate and glass set on the snowy tablecloth, in anticipation of dinner, and the odour of the burning beech-wood was home-like and comforting. after giving a finishing touch to her flowers in the drawing-room, and again peeping into the dining-room to see that all was right and ready, alice would open the glazed door and peer out into the darkness, would bend her head in eager listening for the sound of wheels entering the carriage-drive. after two or three experiments her patience was rewarded. first she heard the clanging of the closing gate, then the sound of the rapidly approaching carriage, and the next minute she was in her husband's arms.
"now come in, john, at once, out of that bitter wind," she cried, as soon as she was released, which was not for a minute or two; "it is enough to cut you in two. it has been sighing and moaning round the house all day, and i am sure i was thankful that you were coining home and hadn't to go any sea-voyages or other dreadful things."
"thank you, my darling, i am all right, i shall do very well now," said john claxton, in a chirping, cheery voice.
why had tom durham called him old? there was a round bald place on the crown of his head to be sure, and such of his hair as remained and his whiskers were streaked with gray; the lines round his eyes and mouth were somewhat deeply graven, and the brow was heavy and thoughtful, but his bright blue eyes were full of life and merriment, the tones of his voice were blithe and musical, his slight wiry figure, though a very little bowed and stooping, was as iron in its hardness; and when away from business he was as full of animal spirits and fun as any boy.
"i am all right, my darling," he repeated, as, after taking off his hat and coat, he went with her into the dining-room; "though i know it is by no means prudent to stand in draughts, especially for people of my age."
"now, john," cried alice, with uplifted forefinger, "are you going to begin that nonsense directly you come into the house? you know how often i have told you that subject is tabooed, and yet you have scarcely opened your lips before you mention it."
"well, my dear," said john claxton, passing his arm round her and drawing her closely to him, "you know i have an age as well as other people, and a good deal more than a great many, i am sorry to say; talking of it won't make it any worse, you know, alley; though you may argue that it won't make it any better."
"silence!" she cried, stopping his speech by placing her hand upon his mouth. "i don't care whether it makes it better or worse, or whether it doesn't make it anything at all; i only know i won't have it mentioned here. your age, indeed! what on earth should i do with you if you were a dandy in a short jacket, with a little cane; or a great hulking fellow in a tawny beard, such as one reads of in the novels?"
"i have not the least idea, alley; but i daresay you would manage to spare some of your sweet love and kindness for me if i were either of the specimens you have mentioned. as i am neither, perhaps you will allow me to change my coat and wash my hands before dinner."
"that you shall do. you will find everything ready for you; and as you have had a long journey, and it is the first time of your return, i insist on your availing yourself of the privilege which i gave you on such occasions, and on your coming down in your shooting-coat and slippers, and making yourself comfortable, john dear; and don't be long, for we have your favourite dinner."
when mr. claxton appeared in the dining-room, having changed his coat for a velvet shooting-jacket, and his boots for a pair of embroidered slippers, his wife's handiwork; having washed his hands and brushed-up his hair, and given himself quite a festive appearance, he found the soup already on he table.
"you are late, as usual, john," cried alice, as he seated himself.
"i went to speak to bell, dear," replied john claxton; "but nurse motioned to me that she was asleep; so i crept up as lightly as i could to her little bedside, and bent down and kissed, her cheek. she is quite well, i hope, dear, but her face looked a little flushed and feverish."
"there is nothing the matter with her, dear, beyond a little over-excitement and fatigue. she has been with me all day, in the greatest state of delight at the prospect of your return, helping me to cut and arrange the flowers, to get out the wine, and go through all the little household duties. i promised her she should sit up to see her papa; but little fairies of three or four years of age have not much stamina, and long before the time of your return she was dropping with sleep."
"poor little pet! sleep is more beneficial to her than the sight of me would have been, though i have not forgotten to bring the doll and the chocolate creams i promised her. however, the presentation of those will do well enough to-morrow."
the dinner was good, cosey, and delightful. they did not keep the servant in the room to wait upon them, but helped themselves and each other. when the cloth was removed, alice drew her chair close to her husband, and according to regular practice poured out for him his first glass of wine.
"your own particular madeira, john," she said; "the wine that your old friend mr. calverley sent you when we were first married. by the way, john, i have often wanted to ask you what you drink at the hotels and the horrible places you go to when you are away--not madeira, i am certain."
"no, dear, not madeira," said john claxton, fondly patting her cheek; "wine, beer, grog--different things at different times."
"yes, but you never get anything so good as this, confess that?"
"nothing that i enjoy so much, certainly; whether it is the wine, or the company in which the wine is drunk, i leave you to guess."
"o, it is the wine, i am sure! there is no such other wine in the world, unless mr. calverley has some himself. there now, talking of mr. calverley reminds me that you never have asked about tom--about tom, john--are you attending to what i say?"
"i beg your pardon, dear," said john claxton, looking upward with rather a flushed face, and emptying his glass at a draught. "i confess my thoughts were wandering towards a little matter of business which had just flashed across me."
"you must put aside all business when you come here; that was a rule which i laid down at first, and i insist on its being adhered to. i was telling you about tom, my brother, you know."
"yes, dear, yes, i know--you went to southampton to see him off."
"yes, john; that is to say, i went to southampton and i saw him there, but i did not actually see him off--that is, see him sail, you know."
"why, alice, you went to southampton for the express purpose!"
"yes, john, i know; but, you see, the trains did not suit, and tom thought i had better not wait; so i left him just an hour or two before the steamer started."
"i suppose he did go," said john claxton anxiously; "there is no doubt about that, i hope?"
"not the least in the world, not the smallest doubt. to tell you the truth, john, i was rather anxious about it myself, knowing that tom had the two thousand pounds which you sent him by me, you dear, kind, good fellow, and that he is--well, perhaps not quite so reliable as he might be--but i looked in the newspaper the next day, and saw his name as agent to calverley and company among the list of outgoing passengers."
"did he seem tolerably contented, alice?"
"o, yes, john; he went away in great spirits. i am in hopes that he will settle down now, and become a steady and respectable member of society. he has plenty of talent, i think, john, don't you?"
"your brother has plenty of sharp, shrewd insight into character, and knowledge of the wickedness of the world, alice," said mr. claxton somewhat bitterly; "these are not bad as stock-in-trade for a man of his nature, and i have no doubt they will serve his turn."
"why, john," said alice, with head upturned to look at him more closely, "how cynically you are speaking! are you not well, dear?"
"quite well, alice. why do you ask?"
"your face is rather flushed, dear, and there is a strange look in your eyes, such as i have never noticed before. o, john! i am certain you work too hard, and all this travelling is too much for you. when will you give it up?"
"when i see my way to settling down here in peace and comfort with you, my darling, and little bell. depend upon it, when that opportunity comes i shall grasp it eagerly enough."
"and when will it come, john?"
"that, my child, it is impossible to say; it may come sooner than we expect; i hope it will, i'm sure. it is the one thing now, at the close of my life, left me to look forward to."
"don't talk about the close of your life in that wicked way, john. i am sure if you only take care of yourself when you are away on those journeys, and mind that your bed is always aired, and see that you have proper food, there is no question about the close of your life until you have seen little bell grown up into a marriageable young woman."
"poor little bell," said john claxton, with a grave smile; "dear little bell. i don't think we did wrongly, alice, in adopting this little fatherless, motherless waif?"
"wrong, indeed! i should think not," said alice quickly. "even from a selfish point of view it was one of the best things we ever did in our lives. see what a companion she is to me while you are away; see how the time which i have to spare after attending to the house, and my garden, and my reading, and my music, and all those things which you insist upon my doing, john, and which i really go through conscientiously every day; see how the spare time, which might be dull, is filled up in dressing her, and teaching her, and listening to her sweet little prattle. do you think we shall ever find out whose child she was, john?"
"no, dear, i should say not. you have the clothes which she had on, and the little gold cross that was found round the mother's neck after her death; it is as well to keep them in case any search should be made after the child, though the probability of that is very remote."
"we should not give bell up, whatever search might be made, should we, john?" said alice quickly. "the poor mother is dead, and the search could only originate with the father, and it is not likely that after leaving the mother of his child to die in a workhouse bed, he will have any long-deferred stings of conscience to make him inquire as to what has become of her offspring. o, john when i think of the wickedness that goes on in the world, through men, john, through men alone--for women are but what men choose to make them--i am so thankful that it was given to me to win the honest, noble love of an honourable man, and to be removed in good time from the temptations assailing a girl in the position which i occupied. now, john, no more wine!"
"yes," he cried, "give it to me quickly, full, full to the brim, alice. there!" he said, as he drained it; "i am better now; i wanted some extra stimulant to-night; i suppose i am knocked-up by my journey."
"your face was as pale then as it was flushed before, john. i shall take upon myself to nurse you; and you shall not leave home again until you are quite recovered, whatever mr. calverley may say. you should have him here, some day, john, and let me talk to him. i warrant i would soon bring him round to my way of thinking."
"your ways are sufficiently coaxing to do that with anybody, alice," said john claxton, with a faint smile; "but never mind mr. calverley just now; what were we saying before?"
"i was saying how pleased i was to be removed from the temptations to which a girl in the position which i held is always exposed."
"no," said claxton, "i don't mean that--before."
"yes, yes," said alice, "i insist upon talking about these old times, john; you never will, and i have no one else who knows anything about them, or can discuss them with me. now, do you recollect," she continued, nestling closer to him, "the first time you saw me?"
"recollect it! as you were then, i can see you now."
"and so can i you; you are not altered an atom. you were standing at a bookstall in low ousegate, just beyond the bridge, looking into a book; and as i passed by with the two little prestons you raised your eyes from the book, and stared at me so hard, and yet so gravely, that i--"
"that you were quite delighted," said john claxton, putting his arm round her; "you know that; so don't attempt a bashfulness which is foreign to your nature, but confess at once."
"i decline to confess any such thing," said alice. "of course i was in the habit of being stared at by the officers and the young men of the town. come now, there is the return blow for your impertinent hit just now; but one scarcely expects to create an impression on people whom one finds glazing over bookstalls."
"elderly people, you should have said, alice."
"elderly people, i will say, john, if it pleases you. much less does one expect to see them lay down the hook, and come sailing up the street after one in direct pursuit."
"o, you saw that, did you, miss? you never told me that before."
"saw it, of course i saw it; what woman ever misses anything of that kind? at a distance you tracked me straight to mr. preston's door; saw me and my little charges safely inside; and then turned on your heel and walked away."
"while you went up to your room and sat down before your glass, admiring your own charms, and thinking of the dashing young cavalier whose attention you had just attracted. was that it?" said john.
"nothing of the sort; though i don't mind confessing that i did wonder whether i should ever see you again. and then, two days after, when mrs. preston told me to take the little girls into the drawing-room in the evening, and to be sure that they practised thoroughly some piece which they would be called upon to play, as there was a gentleman coming to dinner who doated on little children, how could i have the slightest idea that this benevolent mr. claxton was to be my friend of the low ousegate bookstall? and yet you scarcely spoke to me once during that evening, i remember."
"that was my diplomacy, my child; but i paid great attention to mrs. preston, and was very favourably received by her."
"yes; i heard mr. preston say to mr. arthur, as they stood behind the piano, 'he's of the house of calverley and company of mincing-lane. thee hast heard of it? its transactions are enormous.'"
"and i won mr. preston's heart by a good order for wine," said john claxton; "and then i threw off all disguise, and i am afraid made it clear that i had only made his acquaintance for the sake of paying court to his governess."
"you need have very little delicacy in that matter, john," said alice. "neither mr. nor mrs. preston had the slightest interest in me, and when i left they cared not what became of me. i suited them as a governess, and they were angry when i first told them i was going away; but when they saw that i had fully made up my mind, their sole thought was how best to supply my place. as to what became of me, that was no concern of theirs."
"no," said john claxton, whose colour had returned, and who seemed to have regained his ordinary composure, "no concern perhaps of either mr. or mrs. preston; but what about the young gentleman you mentioned just now, alice--mr. preston's nephew, mr. arthur, as he was called? your decision as to the future course of life you intended to adopt was not quite so immaterial to him, was it, child?"
"what do you mean, john?" said alice, looking down, as the blood began to mount into her cheeks.
"you know well enough what i mean, child--exactly what i say. mr. arthur preston took great interest in you--was in love with you, in point of fact. is not that so?"
"he said so, john; but his actions belied his words. no man who had any real honest love--nay, more, i will go farther, and say respect, for a girl--could have spoken or acted towards me as he did."
"why, alice," said john claxton, looking with surprise at her flushed cheeks, "you never told me anything of this before. why have you kept it secret from me?"
"because i know, john," said alice, laying her hand upon his shoulder, "that, however outwardly calm and quiet you may appear to be, however sensible and practical you are in most matters, you have a temper which, when anything touching my honour or my dignity is involved, is quite beyond your control. i have seen its effects before, john, and i dreaded any repetition of them."
"then why do you tell me now?"
"because we are far away from york, john, and from arthur preston and his friends, and there is no likelihood of our seeing any of them again; so that i know your temper can be trusted safely now, john; for, however much it may desire to break out, it will find no object on which to vent itself."
"this conversation and conduct, then, of mr. arthur preston were matters, i am to understand, in which your honour and dignity were involved, alice?"
"to a certain extent, john, yes," faltered alice.
"i should like to know what they were," said john claxton. "i put no compulsion on you to tell me. i have never asked you since our marriage to tell me anything of your previous life; but i confess i should like to know about this."
"i will tell you, john," said alice; "i always intended to do so. it is the only thing i have kept back from you; and often and often, while you have been away, have i thought, if anything happened to you or to me--if either of us were to die, i mean, john--how grieved i should be that i had not told you of this matter. arthur preston pretended he loved me; but he could not have done so really. no man who is wicked and base can know what real love is, john; and arthur preston was both. some little time before i knew you, he made love to me--fierce, violent love. i had not seen you then, john; i had scarcely seen any one. i was an unsophisticated country girl, and i judged of the reality of his love by the warmth of his professions, and told him i would marry him. i shall never forget that scene. it was one summer's evening, on the river bank just abreast of bishopthorpe. when i mentioned marriage he almost laughed, and then he told me, in a cynical sneering way, that he never intended to be married unless he could find some one with a large fortune, or with peculiar means of extending his uncle's business when he inherited it; but that meanwhile he would give me the prettiest house within twenty miles. i need not go on. he would not make me his wife, but he offered to make me his mistress. was it not unmanly in him, john? was it not base and cowardly?"
she stopped and looked at her husband. but john claxton, whose face had become pale again, his chin resting on his hand, and his eyes glaring into the fire, made her no reply.
