one day as i was walking along the beach at southsea, i saw a little man sitting upon a camp-stool and very carefully drawing the old round stone fort which stands in the middle of the shallow water, one of the four that so stand, and which looks from southsea as though it were about half-way across to the island.

i said to him: "sir, why are you drawing that old fort?"

he answered: "i am a german spy, and the reason i draw that fort is to provide information for my government which may be useful to it in case of war with this country."

when the gentleman sitting upon the camp-stool, who was drawing the old round stone fort in the middle of the water, talked like this he annoyed me very much.

"you merely waste your time," said i.[pg 123] "these forts were put up nearly sixty years ago, and they are quite useless."

"i know nothing about that," said the little man—he had hair like hemp and prominent weak blue eyes of a glazed sort, and altogether he struck me as a fool of no insignificant calibre—"i know nothing about that. i obey orders. i was told to draw this fort, and that i am now doing."

"you do not draw well," said i, "but that is neither here nor there. i mean that what you draw is not beautiful. what i really want to know is why in thunder you were told to draw that round stone barrel, for which no one in europe would give a five-pound note."

"i have nothing to do with all that," said the little man again, still industriously drawing. "i was told to draw that fort, and that fort i draw." and he went on drawing the old round stone fort.

"can you not tell me for whom you are drawing it?" said i at last.

"yes," said he, "with great pleasure. i am[pg 124] drawing it for his king-like and kaiser-like majesty by the grace of god and the authority of the holy see, william, king of prussia, margrave of brandenburg, duke of romshall, count hohenzollern and of the great german empire, emperor."

with that he went on drawing the old round stone fort.

"i do assure you most solemnly," said i again, "that you can be of no use whatever to your master in this matter. there are no guns upon that ridiculous thing; it has even been turned into a hotel."

but the little man paid no attention to what i said. he went on obeying orders. he had often heard that this was the strength of his race.

"how could there conceivably be any guns on it?" said i imploringly. "do think what you are at! do look at the range between you and ryde! do consider what modern gunnery is! do wake up, do!"

but the little man with hair like hemp said[pg 125] again: "i know nothing about all that. i am a lieutenant in the high spy corps, and i have been told to draw this fort and i must draw it." and he went on drawing the old round stone fort.

then gloom settled upon my spirit, for i thought that civilization was in peril if men such as he really existed and really went on in this fashion.

however, i went back into southsea, into the town, and there i bought a chart. then i struck off ranges upon the chart and marked them in pencil, and i also marked the fairway through spithead into portsmouth harbour. then i came back to the little man, and i said: "do look at this!"

he looked at it very patiently and carefully, but at the end of so looking at it he said: "i do not understand these things. i do not belong to the high map-making corps; i belong to the spy corps, and i have orders to draw this fort." and he went on drawing the old round stone fort.

[pg 126]

then, seeing i could not persuade him, i went into a neighbouring church which is dedicated to the patron of spies, to wit, st. judas, and i prayed for this man. i prayed thus:

"oh, st. judas! soften the flinty heart of this spy, and turn him, by your powerful intercession, from his present perfectly useless occupation of drawing the old round stone fort to something a little more worthy of his distinguished mission and the gallant profession he adorns."

when i had prayed thus diligently for half an hour something within me told me that it was useless, and when i got back to the seashore i found out what the trouble was. prayers went off my little man like water off a cabbage-leaf. my little man with hair like hemp was a no-goddite, for he so explained to me in a conversation we had upon the four last things.

"i have done my drawing," he said at the end of this conversation (and he said it in a tone of great satisfaction). "now i shall go back to germany."

[pg 127]

"no," said i, "you shall do nothing of the kind. i will have you tried first in a court, and you shall be sent to prison for being a spy."

"very well," said he, and he came with me to the court.

the magistrate tried him, and did what they call in the newspapers "looking very grave," that is, he looked silly and worried. at last he determined not to put the spy in prison because there was not sufficient proof that he was a spy.

"although," he added, "i have little doubt but that you have been prying into the most important military secrets of the country."

after that i took the spy out of court again and gave him some dinner, and that night he went back home to germany with his drawing of the old round stone fort.

it is certainly an extraordinary way of doing business, but that is their look-out. they think they are efficient, and we think they are efficient, and when two people of opposite interests are agreed on such a matter it is not for third parties to complain.