when gwen took her place at her desk on the following monday morning, she was aware of a subtle difference in the general attitude towards her. she had earned the respect of the form, and though nobody gushed, she felt she was no longer regarded as an interloper and upstart. especially was this noticeable in the case of the nicer girls, several of whom spoke to her in quite a pleasant manner, and included her in a discussion about the tennis tournament. to gwen, who had so long been left out in the cold, it was a most welcome change; she had never expected popularity, but she had always hoped that in time she might be able to conquer the prejudice that existed against her. it was a new thing to be asked to lend her dictionary to hilda browne, to compare chemistry papers with iris watson, or to play a game of tennis with elspeth frazer, edith arnold, and charlotte perry. the ban which had hitherto excluded her from the better set in the form seemed to have been suddenly removed, the girls were looking at her from a new standpoint, and were ready to allow that after all she was different from what they had previously supposed.
naturally miss roberts's accident and consequent
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absence from her post made a great upset in the school: classes had to be rearranged, and lessons delegated to other teachers. it was particularly awkward, because the fifth form was working for the senior oxford, and though only a few girls were actually to take the examination, the preparation was the same for everybody.
"i call it too bad," said betty brierley, an acknowledged slacker, "to make the whole form grind—grind—grind—like this, all on behalf of about four candidates. they ought to have a special class to themselves."
"there's method in the madness, though," said joan masters. "miss roscoe isn't going to tell till the very last who's to go in for it, so nobody knows if she mayn't be destined as a victim for the sacrifice, and her name already entered."
"oh! not me!"
"don't alarm yourself. but there are one or two others who, i expect, are on the secret list. it depends entirely on our weekly reports."
"then i'm safe, for mine are always bad. i wouldn't go in for a public exam, for the whole world, the school ones are quite enough for me, and too much, as a rule. who's likely, do you think?"
"i'm not quite sure. elspeth frazer, for one, and—yes, i shouldn't be so very much astonished if miss roscoe's chosen gwen gascoyne."
"gwen—yes. she's been bucking up no end lately in maths."
"and in latin too. however, it's not our business. but i think there'll be some surprises."
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gwen, whether or not with the idea of the senior oxford in her head, had certainly been working hard. she had not only caught up, but even overstepped most of the form, and her reports kept a steady average of improvement. miss roscoe, who was generally scanty in the matter of praise, said little, but there was an air of encouragement about her which urged gwen to her best efforts.
"i made up my mind i'd let them all see i could do the work as well as anybody, though i am the youngest," she said to herself. "they don't sneer at me now."
her translation from the lower school was beginning to feel quite an old remembrance. her thoughts went back sometimes to that first day in the fifth, the day when netta had taken her into miss roscoe's private sitting-room, and she had broken the box of china. that was a recollection which always stung, and which she would thrust away uneasily into the lumber-room of her mind. so far she had heard nothing more from parker's, but the consciousness of the debt was there, and she knew that sooner or later she would be called upon to face the difficulty.
nor was she mistaken. one saturday morning, when she was taking a little vigorous exercise with the lawn mower before breakfast, she saw the postman coming in at the gate, and obeying a sudden impulse, ran to receive the letters, instead of allowing him to deliver them as usual at the door. there were four circulars for father, a postcard for beatrice, and one thin business envelope addressed to "miss
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gwen gascoyne, c/o miss goodwin, the thorns, manor road, stedburgh," and re-directed in netta's handwriting to "skelwick parsonage, north ditton". full of apprehension gwen turned it over, and saw the name "j. parker & sons" printed on the flap. so it had come at last! without even opening it she knew perfectly well what must be inside. she wondered they had waited so long before sending in the account again. what a mercy she had intercepted the postman that morning and taken the letters herself! if beatrice had got hold of this it would have been impossible to conceal the matter any longer. why had netta sent the letter on by post instead of giving it to her at school? surely it was a piece of spite on her part. gwen turned quite hot as she thought of what beatrice would have said. she hastily put the postcard and circulars on the breakfast-table, and ran down the garden to a retired place in the orchard, where she could open her ill-fated envelope in privacy.
yes, it was just what she anticipated—a bill for ten shillings, and a polite but urgent request that the amount should be paid without further delay. she crushed it angrily in her hand, then stuffed it into her pocket and stood thinking. what was she to do? what could she do? all sorts of desperate schemes came running through her mind, and she gave each its due consideration.
"if i were a girl in a magazine story," she thought, "i suppose i'd disguise myself as a pierrette and go and sing on the promenade at stedburgh. i dare say i'd get heaps of pennies. but—oh! i wonder
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if girls ever really do such things out of books? father'd rather i owed pounds than went singing for pennies. he stopped the sunday school children going round on christmas eve, but then they went into the public-houses, and of course i shouldn't. no, i couldn't risk it, and besides, i'd be too shy to sing, and somebody would be sure to find out. shall i ask dick to lend me half a sovereign? he would in a minute. no! i've not sunk to sponging on my boy friends, at any rate. i'd rather do a day's charing than that. a good idea! why shouldn't i turn charwoman? if beatrice would let me clean out the schools every saturday, instead of mrs. cass, and pay me the money, i'd work off the bill in time. i wonder if i dare suggest it?"
the breakfast bell ringing loudly and clamorously at that moment put an end to gwen's meditations, and she went indoors, but she was much preoccupied during the meal, so that she never noticed how giles was peppering her piece of bread and butter till she incautiously took a bite and choked.
"you hateful boy! you're always up to some monkey tricks!" she exclaimed indignantly.
"'for she can thoroughly enjoy the pepper when she pleases!'"
jeered giles, adroitly dodging the smack she designed for him.
and the rest of the family laughed—yes, laughed, in a most heartless and inconsiderate manner.
"your wits were wool-gathering, gwen!" said winnie, quoting a local proverb. "stumps did it
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so deliberately and openly that anybody could have caught him who wasn't absolutely dreaming. we were all watching to see if you'd notice."
"the absent-minded beggar!" piped basil.
"i think you're all very horrid and unkind!" complained the victim, still sneezing.
"don't be grumpy, gwen!"
"you must learn to take a joke, childie!" said father, pushing back his chair and going away to his study.
father so generally stood up for her that gwen felt aggrieved. she had always flattered herself upon her capacity for accepting "ragging" with equanimity, but this, she considered, was beyond a joke.
"it might have got into my eyes and blinded me," she declared with plaintive dignity, and leaving the peppery remains on her plate, stalked off to the garden. she had certainly been too busy thinking during breakfast to notice her plate. it had struck her that if she really wished beatrice to allow her to do charwoman's work at the school, she must give some proof of her capacity in that direction.
"mrs. cass never begins till one o'clock," she thought. "i'll go down this morning and get it all done before she comes, and then i can show beatrice."
it seemed the only possible way of earning money open to her, so stealing one of nellie's coarse aprons and a tin of soft soap from the kitchen, she hurried off to the school. she knew where mrs. cass kept the bucket and scrubbing-brush which she used for her cleaning operations; they were in a cupboard at the end of the passage. being saturday, the place was,
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of course, empty, and no one would disturb her. she had brought the parsonage key to unlock the door, and after filling her bucket at the pump in the yard, she put on the apron, tucked up her sleeves, and set to work. and it was work! gwen had never in her life before tried to scrub a floor, and though her arms were sturdy and strong at wielding a tennis-racket or the lawn mower, they soon began to ache at the unwonted exercise which she had set herself. the room seemed most enormously large, and she was sure it was abnormally dirty. the school children's boots must have been caked with mud. she began to have a wholesome respect for mrs. cass. she grew stiff and cramped with kneeling, and was obliged to stand up occasionally and take a rest.
"there are the two classrooms to do yet," she thought ruefully, "to say nothing of the passage. i'm getting rather fed up with scrubbing."
but she was only half through, so she set grimly to her self-imposed task again. she had very nearly finished the big room when the door softly opened, and who should appear but beatrice! at the sight of gwen and her occupation she nearly dropped the books she was carrying.
"gwen! what's the meaning of this? you do look an object!" she exclaimed.
gwen jumped up hastily, well aware that she thoroughly merited any aspersions on her appearance. both her dress and the apron were soaked with water, her face had accumulated some of the dirt, her hair ribbon had fallen off, and her hair was dangling in her eyes. a more untidy young person
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could not have been found in the whole village. she flung back her hair with a wet, grimy hand, and finding her pocket handkerchief, tried to wipe her face.
"what freak is this, gwen? whatever will you do next?" continued beatrice.
"i didn't expect you here till i'd finished," answered gwen, sitting down exhaustedly on a form.
"you know i often come to practise the hymns, now winnie takes the mission-room at basingwold. that doesn't explain why you're washing the floor."
"i wanted you to see that i could do it. i thought perhaps you'd let me scrub every week, and pay me instead of mrs. cass," said gwen, blurting out her scheme in the baldest outline.
beatrice took another comprehensive glance at her sister's disreputable figure, then sat down hilariously.
"you needn't laugh so—i mean it seriously," protested gwen. "i want the money."
"oh! oh! you look so funny!" screamed beatrice; then, suddenly sobering down, she changed her tone. "i couldn't help laughing," she continued, "but it was a good thing it was only i who came in and caught you in this dirty mess. what prompted you to be so silly?"
"i've told you already."
"gwen, don't be idiotic! how could you scrub the school every week. besides, we couldn't take the work away from mrs. cass. she'd be most indignant she needs the money badly, poor body, with that large family to keep."
this was an utterly new aspect of the case that had not before occurred to gwen.
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"i want money too," she groaned.
"so do i, and so does dad, and so do we all, but we can't get it," replied beatrice rather tartly. "we have to make up our minds to go without. you're no worse off than the rest of us."
gwen paused. a half impulse was stirring within her to tell her sister her difficulties. if only beatrice looked a little more sympathetic!
"how do you know i'm no worse off?" she began.
"i've no patience with you, gwen! you're always thinking about yourself! you've done a silly, mad prank to-day, and i don't know what mrs. cass will say when she arrives. really, at your age you ought to know better and remember your dignity. you're not a child now, though i'm sure you behave like one. go and put that bucket and scrubbing-brush away, and wash your face before you walk home. i shall have to explain to mrs. cass, or she'll think i've been giving her work to another charwoman. it would be enough to make her leave the church! she's fearfully touchy. i wonder when you'll learn sense."
very crestfallen, gwen turned away. no, it was quite impossible to confide in beatrice. beatrice never understood, never even seemed to want to understand. in her superior, elder-sisterly position she simply condemned everything without hesitation.
"i wonder if she used to do silly things herself?" thought gwen. "she's always been six years older, and preached to me since i can first remember. shall i ever catch her up, or will she seem those six years ahead to the end of the chapter?"
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and having performed some very necessary ablutions, she walked home, looking tired and woebegone.
beatrice, with a sigh, opened the harmonium and chose her hymns for to-morrow's sunday school, wondering on her part why this particular sister was so difficult to manage, and so utterly different in disposition from the rest of the family.
"i'm sure i do my best," she thought, "but gwen has always been a trial. i can't imagine whom she takes after. if the ugly duckling's ever going to turn into a swan, it's time she began!"
all sunday gwen was haunted by a horrible black shadow. she kept parker's letter in her pocket, and the remembrance of it never left her. gwen generally enjoyed sundays, but this particular day was like a nightmare. how to get out of her scrape she could not imagine. the debt felt like a heavy millstone tied round her neck. in the afternoon, when the others sat reading and chatting under the trees in the garden, she mooned about the orchard by herself, too miserable even to be interested in a book. how was the affair to end? she did not dare to go to parker's and explain that at present it was impossible to pay the bill. she supposed she would simply have to let things drift and await further developments. what steps parker's would take next, she could not foresee. they would probably wait a week or even more before further pressing the account, and any respite was welcome. trouble was ahead, doubtless, but it was better ten days off than to-morrow, because there was always the faint hope that some circumstance might arise at the eleventh hour to smooth over the
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difficulty. on monday morning gwen seized an opportunity to catch netta alone.
"i say," she began, "it was awfully mean of you to send that letter of parker's on to me by post. why couldn't you have brought it to school instead?"
"why should i?" retorted netta. "i'm not going to act postman for you, i can assure you! and look here, gwen gascoyne, you'll please not have any more letters directed to you at our house! we don't want to receive your bills, thank you! you must give your own address to the shops. haven't you settled that affair with parker's yet?"
"no, and i don't want it to be found out at home. beatrice always takes in the letters and deals them round. it was by the merest good luck she didn't get hold of mine on saturday. netta, do let me use your address! you might do that much for me!"
"why should i? i've done quite enough for you, and too much already. i'm tired of the whole business. i was silly to be mixed up with it in the beginning."
"but you started it! you took me into miss roscoe's room, and then you suggested going to parker's and replacing the china."
"are you trying to throw the blame on me?" flared netta.
"not altogether; but i think you were partly responsible, and that you got off cheaply."
"that's uncommonly fine," sneered netta. "no, no, my good gwen, that little dodge won't work. this child isn't going to be burden-bearer for your sins. if you get into scrapes you must get out of
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them yourself. i've lost a sovereign over you already."
"and for what?" exploded gwen angrily. "what about my beautiful essay, that you took and used as your own?"
"wasn't worth it! it was a freak of mine just then to win that prize, but i've never looked at the book since. i'm sorry i troubled about it. i'd rather have the sov. now."
"and i'm sorry too, because it wasn't fair and square, and i've felt vile about it ever since. i hate all these underhand things."
netta smiled sarcastically.
"of course you hate them when they don't turn out to your advantage. pity you didn't pursue your course of virtue a little earlier! you were ready enough to trade the essay for the sov. at the time, so what are you grumbling about now?"
"your meanness."
"look here, gwen gascoyne, i've had enough of this! i won't hear another word about your wretched affair. as i told you before, you must get out of your own scrapes, and not expect other people to act providence for you. if you mention the subject again, i simply shan't listen."
gwen had scarcely expected either help or consolation from netta, though she felt indignant that her old chum should show her so little sympathy in the matter. after all, it was only in accordance with netta's character. grapes do not grow on thistles; and a girl so destitute of all sense of conscience was not likely to prove a stanch and faithful friend. gwen
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was learning by slow and painful experience that bright amusing manners may be worthless unless allied to more sterling qualities. she had been wont to admire netta's easy style, and even to try to copy it; now it struck her as hollow and vapid. if only she could have started quite afresh, with no guilty memories to disturb her, she felt she had the chance of getting into a better set in her form. but what would elspeth frazer, hilda browne, iris watson, or any of the nicer girls think of her conduct, both in regard to the broken-china episode or the transferred essay? she knew it would not accord with their code of honour.
"i wish i had the courage to tell miss roscoe everything," groaned gwen. "it would have been the straightest course if i'd gone and confessed at once when i smashed the china. it would have saved a great many complications. dare i possibly tell now?"
she walked along the passage to the study. the door was open, so she peeped cautiously in. miss roscoe sat correcting papers, and nobody else was in the room. if she wished to make her confession, here was certainly her opportunity. her heart beat and thumped, and the words seemed to freeze upon her lips. miss roscoe looked so stern as she sat at her desk making pencil notes on the margins of the exercises; there was a hard, uncompromising expression on her face which gwen knew only too well, and which did not tend in the direction of tenderness towards wrongdoers. gwen was still smarting from the scolding she had received for her conversation
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with dick out of the window. if miss roscoe viewed that peccadillo so seriously, what would she say to the tale which her pupil had to unfold?
"i daren't! i daren't!" thought gwen. "no, i really can't screw up the courage. i loathe myself for a deceitful wretch, and yet—oh, dear!—there's nothing in this world i dread so much as being found out!"
she ran down the passage again with a sense of relief. one voice in her heart assured her that she had escaped a danger, though another upbraided her for her cowardice.
"if miss roscoe hadn't looked quite so severe i might have ventured," she sighed in response to the latter. "i don't believe i'll get even so far as the study door again."
so a golden opportunity was lost, and gwen, who might even thus late have chosen the straighter, harder path, shirked the disagreeable experience, and was left perforce to reap the harvest of her own sowing.
