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STRUGGLING IN THE WORLD.

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do you know where it is -- the hollow land?

i have been looking for it now so long, trying to find it again the hollow land for there i saw my love first.

i wish to tell you how i found it first of all; but i am old, my memory fails me: you must wait and let me think if i perchance can tell you how it happened. yea, in my ears is a confused noise of trumpet-blasts singing over desolate moors, in my ears and eyes a clashing and clanging of horse-hoofs, a ringing and glittering of steel; drawn-back lips, set teeth, shouts, shrieks, and curses.

how was it that no one of us ever found it till that day? for it is near our country: but what time have we to look for it, or any good thing; with such biting carking cares hemming us in on every side-cares about great things-mighty things: mighty things, 0 my brothers! or rather little things enough, if we only knew it. lives passed in turmoil, in making one another unhappy; in bitterest misunderstanding of our brothers' hearts, making those sad whom god has not made sad, alas, alas! what chance for any of us to find the hollow land? what time even to look for it?

yet who has not dreamed of it? who, half miserable yet the while, for that he knows it is but a dream, has not felt the cool waves round his feet, the roses crowning him, and through the leaves of beech and lime the many whispering winds of the hollow land?

now, my name was florian, and my house was the house of the lilies; and of that house was my father lord, and after him my eldest brother amald; and me they called florian de liliis.

moreover, when my father was dead, there arose a feud between the lilies' house and red harald; and this that follows is the history of it.

lady swanhilda, red harald's mother, was a widow, with one son. red harald; and when she had been in widowhood two years, being of princely blood, and besides comely and fierce. king urrayne sent to demand her in marriage. and i remember seeing the procession leaving the town, when i was quite a child; and many young knights and squires attended the lady swanhilda as pages, and amongst them, amald, my eldest brother.

and as i gazed out of the window, i saw him walking by the side of her horse, dressed in white and gold very delicately; but as he went it chanced that he stumbled. now he was one of those that held a golden canopy over the lady's head, so that it now sunk into wrinkles, and the lady had to bow her head full low, and even then the gold brocade caught in one of the long slim gold flowers that were wrought round about the crown she wore. she flushed up in her rage, and her smooth face went suddenly into the carven wrinkles of a wooden water-spout, and she caught at the brocade with her left hand, and pulled it away furiously, so that the warp and woof were twisted out of their place, and many gold threads were left dangling about the crown; but swanhilda stared about when she rose, then smote my brother across the mouth with her gilded sceptre, and the red blood flowed all about his garments; yet he only turned exceeding pale, and dared say no word, though he was heir to the house of the lilies: but my small heart swelled with rage, and i vowed revenge, and, as it seems, he did too.

so when swanhilda had been queen three years, she suborned many of king urrayne's knights and lords, and slew her husband as he slept, and reigned in his stead. and her son, harald, grew up to manhood, and was counted a strong knight, and well spoken of, by then i first put on my armour.

then, one night, as i lay dreaming, i felt a hand laid on my face, and starting up saw arnald before me fully armed. he said, "florian, rise and arm."

i did so, all but my helm, as he was.

he kissed me on the forehead; his lips felt hot and dry; and when they bought torches, and i could see his face plainly, i saw he was very pale. he said: "do you remember, florian, this day sixteen years ago? it is a long time, but i shall never forget it unless this night blots out its memory."

i knew what he meant, and because my heart was wicked, i rejoiced exceedingly at the thought of vengeance, so that i could not speak, but only laid my palm across his lips.

"good; you have a good memory, florian. see now, i waited long and long: i said at first, i forgive her; but when the news came concerning the death of the king, and how that she was shameless, i said i will take it as a sign, if god does not punish her within certain years, that he means me to do so; and i have been watching and watching now these two years for an opportunity, and behold it is come at last; and i think god has certainly given her into our hands, for she rests this night, this very christmas eve, at a small walled town on the frontier, not two hours' gallop from this; they keep little ward there, and the night is wild: moreover, the prior of a certain house of monks, just without the walls, is my fast friend in this matter, for she has done him some great injury. in the courtyard below a hundred and fifty knights and squires, all faithful and true, are waiting for us: one moment and we shall be gone."

then we both knelt down, and prayed god to give her into our hands: we put on our helms, and went down into the courtyard.

it was the first time i expected to use a sharp sword in anger, and i was full of joy as the muffled thunder of our horse-hoofs rolled through the bitter winter night.

in about an hour and a half we had crossed the frontier, and in half an hour more the greater part bad halted in a wood near the abbey, while i and a few others went up to the abbey gates, and knocked loudly four times with my sword-hilt, stamping on the ground meantime. a long, low whistle answered me from within, which i in my turn answered: then the wicket opened, and a monk came out, holding a lantern. he seemed yet in the prime of life, and was a tall, powerful man. he held the lantern to my face, then smiled, and said, "the banners hang low." i gave the countersign, "the crest is lopped off." "good my son," said he; "the ladders are within here. i dare not trust any of the brethren to carry them for you, though they love not the witch either, but are timorsome."

"no matter," i said, "i have men here." so they entered and began to shoulder the tall ladders: the prior was very busy. "you will find them just the right length, my son, trust me for that." he seemed quite a jolly, pleasant man, i could not understand his nursing furious revenge; but his face darkened strangely whenever he happened to mention her name.

as we were starting he came and stood outside the gate, and putting his lantern down that the light of it might not confuse his sight, looked earnestly into the night, then said: "the wind has fallen, the snow flakes get thinner and smaller every moment, in an hour it will be freezing hard, and will be quite clear; everything depends'upon the surprise being complete; stop a few minutes yet, my son." he went away chuckling, and returned presently with two more sturdy monks carrying something: they threw their burdens down before my feet, they consisted of all the white albs in the abbey: "there, trust an old man, who has seen more than one stricken fight in his carnal days; let the men who scale the walls put these over their arms, and they will not be seen in the least. god make your sword sharp, my son."

so we departed, and when i met amald again, he said that what the prior had done was well thought of; so we agreed that i should take thirty men, an old squire of our house, well skilled in war, along with them, scale the walls as quietly as possible, and open the gates to the rest.

i set off accordingly, after that with low laughing we had put the albs all over us, wrapping the ladders also in white. then we crept very warily and slowly up to the wall; the moat was frozen over, and on the ice the snow lay quite thick; we all thought that the guards must be careless enough, when they did not even take the trouble to break the ice in the moat so we listened- there was no sound at all, the christmas midnight mass had long ago been over, it was nearly three o'clock, and the moon began to clear, there was scarce any snow falling now, only a flake or two from some low hurrying cloud or other: the wind sighed gently about the round towers there, but it was bitter cold, for it had begun to freeze again; we listened for some minutes, about a quarter of an hour i think, then at a sign from me, they raised the ladders carefully, muffled as they were at the top with swathings of wool. i mounted first, old squire hugh followed last; noiselessly we ascended, and soon stood altogether on the walls; then we carefully lowered the ladders again with long ropes; we got our swords and axes from out of the folds of our priests' raiments, and set forward, till we reached the first tower along the wall; the door was open, in the chamber at the top there was a fire slowly smouldering, nothing else; we passed through it, and began to go down the spiral staircase, i first, with my axe shortened in my hand.-"what if we were surprised there," i thought, and i longed to be out in the air again;-"what if the door were fast at the bottom."

as we passed the second chamber, we heard some one within snoring loudly: i looked in quietly, and saw a big man with long black hair, that fell off his pillow and swept the ground, lying snoring, with his nose turned up and his mouth open, but he seemed so sound asleep that we did not stop to slay him. praise be! the door was open, without even a whispered word, without a pause, we went on along the streets, on the side that the drift had been on, because our garments were white, for the wind being very strong all that day, the houses on that side had caught in their cornices and carvings, and on the rough stone and wood of them, so much snow, that except here and there where the black walls grinned out, they were quite white; no man saw us as we stole along, noiselessly because of the snow, till we stood within 100 yards of the gates and their house of guard. and we stood because we heard the voice of some one singing:

"queen mary's crown was gold,

king joseph's crown was red,

but jesus' crown was diamond

that lit up all the bed

mariae virginis"

so they had some guards after all; this was clearly the sentinel that sang to keep the ghosts off;-now for a fight.-we drew nearer, a few yards nearer, then stopped to free ourselves from our monks' clothes.

"ships sail through the heaven

with red banners dress'd,

carrying the planets seven

to see the white breast

mariae virginis"

thereat he must have seen the waving of some alb or other as it shivered down to the ground, for his spear fell with a thud, and he seemed to be standing open-mouthed, thinking something about ghosts; then, plucking up heart of grace, he roared out like ten bull-calves, and dashed into the guard-house.

we followed smartly, but without hurry, and came up to the door of it just as some dozen half-armed men came tumbling out under our axes: thereupon, while our men slew them, i blew a great blast upon my horn, and hugh with some others drew bolt and bar and swung the gates wide open.

then the men in the guard-house understood they were taken in a trap, and began to stir with great confusion; so lest they should get quite waked and armed, i left hugh at the gates with ten men, and myself led the rest into that house. there while we slew all those that yielded not, came arnald with the others, bringing our horses with them; then all the enemy threw their arms down. and we counted our prisoners and found them over fourscore; therefore, not knowing what to do with them (for they were too many to guard, and it seemed unknightly to slay them all), we sent up some bowmen to the walls, and turning our prisoners out of gates, bid them run for their lives, which they did fast enough, not knowing our numbers, and our men sent a few flights of arrows among them that they might not be undeceived.

then the one or two prisoners that we had left, told us, when we had crossed our axes over their heads, that the people of the good town would not willingly fight us, in that they hated the queen; that she was guarded at the palace by some fifty knights, and that beside, there were no others to oppose us in the town; so we set out for the palace, spear in hand.

we had not gone far, before we heard some knights coming, and soon, in a turn of the long street, we saw them riding towards us; when they caught sight of us they seemed astonished, drew rein, and stood in some confusion.

we did not slacken our pace for an instant, but rode right at them with a yell, to which i lent myself with all my heart.

after all they did not run away, but waited for us with their spears held out; i missed the man i had marked, or hit him rather just on the top of the helm; he bent back, and the spear slipped over his head, but my horse still kept on, and i felt presently such a crash that i reeled in my saddle, and felt mad. he had lashed out at me with his sword as i came on, hitting me in the ribs (for my arm was raised), but only flatlings.

i was quite wild with rage, i turned, almost fell upon him, caught him by the neck with both hands, and threw him under the horse-hoofs, sighing with fury: i heard arnald's voice close to me, "well fought, florian": and i saw his great stern face bare among the iron, for he had made a vow in remembrance of that blow always to fight unhelmed; i saw his great sword swinging, in wide gyres, and hissing as it started up, just as if it were alive and liked it.

so joy filled all my soul, and i fought with my heart, till the big axe i swung felt like nothing but a little hammer in my hand, except for its bitterness: and as for the enemy, they went down like grass, so that we destroyed them utterly, for those knights would neither yield nor fly, but died as they stood, so that some fifteen of our men also died there.

then at last we came to the palace, where some grooms and such like kept the gates armed, but some ran, and some we took prisoners, one of whom died for sheer terror in our hands, being stricken by no wound; for he thought we would eat him.

these prisoners we questioned concerning the queen, and so entered the great hall. there arnald sat down in the throne on the dais, and laid his naked sword before him on the table: and on each side of him sat such knights as there was room for, and the others stood round about, while i took ten men, and went to look for swanhilda.

i found her soon, sitting by herself in a gorgeous chamber. i almost pitied her when i saw her looking so utterly desolate and despairing; her beauty too had faded, deep lines cut through her face. but when i entered she knew who i was, and her look of intense hatred was so fiend-like, that it changed my pity into horror of her.

"knight", she said "who are you, and what do you want, thus discourteously entering my chamber?"

"i am florian de liliis, and i am to conduct you to judgment."

she sprang up, "curse you and your whole house, you i hate worse than any -- girl's face -- guards! guards!" and she stamped on the ground, her veins on the forehead swelled, her eyes grew round and flamed out, as she kept crying for her guards, stamping the while, for she seemed quite mad.

then at last she remembered that she was in the power of her enemies, she sat down, and lay with her face between her hands, and wept passionately.

"witch," i said between my closed teeth, "will you come, or must we carry you down to the great hall?"

neither would she come, but sat there, clutching at her dress and tearing her hair.

then i said, "bind her, and carry her down." and they did so.

i watched arnald as we came in, there was no triumph on his stern white face, but resolution enough, he had made up his mind.

they placed her on a seat in the midst of the hall over against the dais. he said, "unbind her, florian." they did so, she raised her face, and glared defiance at us all, as though she would die queenly after all.

then rose up arnald and said, "queen swanhilda, we judge you guilty of death, and because you are a queen and of a noble house, you shall be slain by my knightly sword, and i will even take the reproach of slaying a woman, for no other hand than mine shall deal the blow."

then she said, "0 false knight, show your warrant from god, man, or devil."

"this warrant from god, swanhilda," he said, holding up his sword, "listen! fifteen years ago, when i was just winning my spurs, you struck me, disgracing me before all the people; you cursed me, and mean that curse well enough. men of the house of the lilies, what sentence for that?"

"death!" they said.

"listen! afterwards you slew my cousin, your husband, treacherously, in the most cursed way, stabbing him in the throat, as the stars in the canopy above him looked down on the shut eyes of him. men of the house of lily, what sentence for that?"

"death!" they said.

"do you hear them. queen? there is warrant from man; for the devil, i do not reverence him enough to take warrant from him, but, as i look at that face of yours, i think that even he has left you."

and indeed just then all her pride seemed to leave her, she fell from the chair, and wallowed on the ground moaning, she wept like a child, so that the tears lay on the oak floor; she prayed for another month of life; she came to me and kneeled, and kissed my feet, and prayed piteously, so that water ran out of her mouth.

but i shuddered, and drew away; it was like hav ing an adder about one; i cou'd have pitied her had she died bravely, but for one like her to whine and whine! pah!

then from the dais rang amald's voice terrible, much changed. "let there be an end of all this." and he took his sword and strode through the hall towards her; she rose from the ground and stood up, stooping a little, her head sunk between her shoulders, her black eyes turned up and gloaming, like a tigress about to spring. when he came within some six paces of her something in his eye daunted her, or perhaps the flashing of his terrible sword in the torch-light; she threw her arms up with a great shriek, and dashed screaming about the hall. amald's lip never once curled with any scorn, no line in his face changed: he said, "bring her here and bind her."

but when one came up to her to lay hold on her she first of all ran at him, hitting with her head in the belly. then while he stood doubled up for want of breath, and staring with his head up, she caught his sword from the girdle, and cut him across the shoulders, and many others she wounded sorely before they took her. then arnald stood by the chair to which she was bound, and poised his sword, and there was a great silence.

then he said, "men of the house of the lilies, do you justify me in this, shall she die?" straightway rang a great shout through the hall, but before it died away the sword had swept round, and therewithal was there no such thing as swanhilda left upon the earth, for in no battle-field had arnald struck truer blow.

then he turned to the few servants of the palace and said, "go now, bury this accursed woman, for she is a king's daughter." then to us all, "now knights, to horse and away, that we may reach the good town by about dawn." so we mounted and rode off.

what a strange christmas-day that was, for there, about nine o'clock in the morning, rode red harald into the good town to demand vengeance; he went at once to the king, and the king promised that before nightfall that very day the matter should be judged; albeit the king feared somewhat, because every third man you met in the streets had a blue cross on his shoulder, and some likeness of a lily, cut out or painted, stuck in his hat; and this blue cross and lily were the bearings of our house, called "de liliis." now we had seen red harald pass through the streets, with a white banner borne before him, to show that he came peaceably as for this time; but i know he was thinking of other things than peace.

and he was called red harald first at this time, because over all his arms he wore a great scarlet cloth, that fell in heavy folds about his horse and all about him. then, as he passed our house, some one pointed it out to him, rising there with its carving and its barred marble, but stronger than many a castle on the hill-tops, and its great overhanging battlement cast a mighty shadow down the wall and across the street; and above all rose the great tower, or banner floating proudly from the top, whereon was emblazoned on a white ground a blue cross, and on a blue ground four white lilies. and now faces were gazing from all the windows, and all the battlements were thronged; so harald turned, and rising in his stirrups, shook his clenched fist at our house; natheless, as he did so, the east wind, coming down the street, caught up the corner of that scarlet cloth and drove it over his face, and therewithal disordering his long black hair, well nigh choked him, so that he bit both his hair and that cloth.

so from base to cope rose a mighty shout of triumph and defiance, and he passed on.

then arnald caused it to be cried, that all those who loved the good house of the lilies should go to mass that morning in saint mary's church, hard by our house. now this church belonged to us, and the abbey that served it, and always we appointed the abbot of it on condition that our trumpets should sound all together when on high masses they sing the "gloria in excelsis." it was the largest and most beautiful of all the churches in the town, and had two exceeding high towers, which you could see from far off, even when you saw not the town or any of its other towers: and in one of these towers were twelve great bells, named after the twelve apostles, one name being written on each one of them; as peter, matthew, and so on; and in the other tower was one great bell only, much larger than any of the others, and which was called mary. now this bell was never rung but when our house was in great danger, and it had this legend on it, "when mary rings the earth shakes;" and indeed from this we took our war cry, which was, "mary rings;" somewhat justifiable indeed, for the last time that mary rang, on that day before nightfall there were four thousand bodies to be buried, which bodies wore neither cross nor lily.

so arnald gave me in charge to tell the abbot to cause mary to be tolled for an hour before mass that day.

the abbot leaned on my shoulder as i stood within the tower and looked at the twelve monks laying their hands to the ropes. far up in the dimness i saw the wheel before it began to swing round about; then it moved a little; the twelve men bent down to the earth and a roar rose that shook the tower from base to spirevane: backwards and forwards swept the wheel, as mary now looked downwards towards earth, now looked up at the shadowy cone of the spire, shot across by bars of light from the dormers.

and the thunder of mary was caught up by the wind and carried through all the country; and when the good man heard it, he said goodbye to wife and child, slung his shield behind his back, and set forward with his spear sloped over his shoulder, and many a time, as he walked toward the good town, he tightened the belt that went about his waist, that he might stride the faster, so long and furiously did mary toll.

and before the great bell, mary, had ceased ringing, all the ways were full of armed men.

but at each door of the church of saint mary stood a row of men armed with axes, and when any came, meaning to go into the church, the two first of these would hold their axes (whose helves were about four feet long) over his head, and would ask him, "who went over the moon last night?" then if he answered nothing or at random they would bid him turn back, which he for the more part would be ready enough to do; but some, striving to get through that row of men, were slain outright; but if he were one of those that were friends to the house of the lilies he would answer to that question, "mary and john."

by the time the mass began the whole church was full, and in the nave and transept thereof were three thousand men, all of our house and all armed. but arnald and myself, and squire hugh, and some others sat under a gold-fringed canopy near the choir; and the abbot said mass, having his mitre on his head. yet, as i watched him, it seemed to me that he must have something on beneath his priest's vestments, for he looked much fatter than usual, being really a tall lithe man.

now, as they sung the "kyrie," some one shouted from the other end of the church, "my lord arnld, they are slaying our people without;" for, indeed, all the square about the church was full of our people, who for the press had not been able to enter, and were standing there in no small dread of what might come to pass.

then the abbot turned round from the altar, and began to fidget with the fastenings of his rich robes. and they made a lane for us up to the west door; then i put on my helm and we began to go up the nave, then suddenly the singing of the monks and all stopped. i heard a clinking and a buzz of voices in the choir. i turned, and saw that the bright noon sun was shining on the gold of the priest's vestments, as they lay on the floor, and on the mail that the priests carried.

so we stopped, the choir gates swung open, and the abbot marched out at the head of his men, all fully armed, and began to strike up the psalm "exsurgat deus."

when we got to the west door, there was indeed a tumult, but as yet no slaying; the square was all a-flicker with steel, and we beheld a great body of knights, at the head of them red harald and the king, standing over against us; but our people, pressed against the houses, and into the comers of the square, were, some striving to enter the doors, some beside themselves with rage, shouting out to the others to charge; withal, some were pale and some were red with the blood that had gathered to the wrathful faces of them.

then said arnald to those about him, "lift me up." so they laid a great shield on two lances, and these four men carried, and thereon stood arnald, and gazed about him.

now the king was unhelmed, and his white hair (for he was an old man) flowed down behind him on to his saddle; but amaid's hair was cut short, and was red.

and all the bells rang.

then the king said, "0 arnald of the lilies, will you settle this quarrel by the judgment of god?" and amaid thrust up his chin, and said, "yea." "how then," said the king, "and where?" "will it please you try now?" said arnald.

then the king understood what he meant, and took in his hand from behind tresses of his long white hair, twisting them round his hand in his wrath, but yet said no word, till i suppose his hair put him in mind of something, and he raised it in both his hands above his head, and shouted out aloud, "0 knights, hearken to this traitor." whereat, indeed, the lances began to move ominously. but arnald spoke.

"0 you king and lords, what have we to do with you? were we not free in the old time, up among the hills there? wherefore give way, and we will go to the hills again; and if any man try to stop us, his blood be on his own head; wherefore now," (and he turned) "all you house of the lily, both soldiers and monks, let us go forth together fearing nothing, for i think there is not bone enough or muscle enough in these fellows here that have a king that they should stop us withal, but only skin and fat."

and truly, no man dared to stop us, and we went.

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