one day i had occasion to travel, at the expense of a fund more or less public, and certainly collective, in a railway train of which the carriages were wagons-de-luxe. it was by its description a train for the very rich, yet few of that numerous class were travelling in it, for it was going in the depth of winter from one of the most desolate highlands of europe to another of europe's most offensive deserts. i had business with one and the other.
there was in the dining-car of this luxurious train a gentleman who sat opposite me. he was dressed, as are so many of his class, in boots and striped trousers and a black coat and waistcoat. he had on a quiet tie of grey silk and what is called upon the continent an english collar. he was nearly bald, but his eyes were determined, and his moustaches were of the shape and seemed to be of the size of buffalo's horns. they were of a metallic colour and looked like steel.
it is the custom on the continent of europe for males when they meet to accost each other, even if they have not been introduced, as indeed is the[pg 244] custom (if you will observe it narrowly) of the mass of the population at home. there is, indeed, a story of a man who stood upon the bridge at lyons wringing his hands and shouting out as he gazed upon the arrowy rhone which was bearing down very rapidly a drowning human head: "will no one introduce me to that gentleman that i may save him? for i am an excellent swimmer." but this story would not apply to the mass of males upon the continent. we therefore were ready to accost each other. he spoke to me in a curious language which i believed to be hungarian—for though i do not know basque i should have recognised the basque terminations, and finnish would not be used in the west of europe, and save for basque, hungarian, and finnish all other tongues have something in common. the teutonic dialects, though they are infinite, can at once be distinguished, and a russian does not address you in his own tongue in a foreign country. when, therefore, this stranger man had spoken to me in this tongue which i believed to be hungarian, i replied to him gently in the limousin dialect as being the most southern with which i had any acquaintance, and upon the principle, that with foreigners the more southern you are the better chance you have. he answered in pure italian, which is of no use to me. i spoke to him then in the french of paris, which he understood ill, but did not speak at all. at last we tumbled upon a mutual language, which, for the honour i bear you,[pg 245] i will not name; but it was neither latin nor arabic, nor the language of the genoese; and if i called it lingua franca you would feel a legitimate annoyance.
we had not spoken of many things before he told me his own characteristics, which were these: that he was a brave man but modest; that he had a contempt for riches, and was content to live upon the small income derivable from funds inherited from his father; that he revered the memory of his father; that he was devoted to his mother, "who lived in a modest way in a provincial town, hating the extravagance of the capital. he further told me that he had been by profession a soldier, and upon my asking whether his stoical life were not diversified by some amusement he answered that he had permitted himself certain recreations, but only those befitting the uniform he wore, and notably was he addicted to the chase of wild and powerful beasts.
"it is often remarked," he said, "by those who know nothing of the business, that modern firearms have made the destruction of the larger carnivora too easy a task for the sportsman. this may in general be the case, but only if men are fighting under luxurious conditions. a man going out by himself with his gun, unaccompanied by a dog, and determined upon the destruction of some one considerable four-footed beast of prey, still runs a certain risk."
"you are right," said i, "and a relative of mine who under such conditions attempted the bear,[pg 246] though having only designed to attempt wild-fowl, in the impenetrable thickets of scandinavia, was very bitterly disappointed and has been lamed for life."
at this my companion was a little put out. "the bear is not carnivorous," he said, "and a brave man should be able to tackle a bear with his hands. i really cannot understand how your relative (as you call him), if he had a fowling-piece or even so much as a pocket-pistol with a range of ten yards, could not shoot off a bear.... but to return to my original thesis, which is that the larger carnivora are really dangerous to a man walking alone, however well armed he may be. it was so armed but undefended by companions that i found myself on the borders of the indian ocean five years ago...."
"which border of that vast sea did you inhabit?" said i with some curiosity, and i was beginning to make a list of all its boundaries, including the magnificent but undeveloped districts which fringe the north-west of the great island of australia, when he went on as though i had not spoken—
" ... a tiger, or, i should rather say, a tigress, growled in the dense underwood, and i was immediately upon the alert."
"knowledge," i replied, "is a remarkable thing; it amazes me and my friends who are familiar with the classics, though i believe there is very little to know in that department. even the chemists astonish me, and the people who talk technically about warships are remarkable men; but i see that in your case, as in that of so many others, i have[pg 247] more to learn with every day i live, for there came a growl from the underwood and you knew it to be that of a tiger—nay, of a tigress. but," i continued, lifting my hand as he would interrupt me, "though it fills me with admiration it does not make me hesitate, for i know men who can talk a language after passing a week in the country to which it is native, and i beg you to fulfil my curiosity."
"i heard the growl of a tigress," said he, eager to continue his narrative, "proceeding from the underwood, which is called in that country rawak."
"why is it called rawak?" i interrupted.
"because," he explained, with an intelligent look, "it is composed of mera roots and sinchu closely interlaced, with a screen of reeds ten feet high or more waving above it."
i told him that i now perfectly understood and desired to hear more.
"i heard," said he, "the growl of a tigress, and i at once made ready my arm and prepared for the worst."
"when you say made ready your arm" (i again interrupted him) "i want to seize the matter clearly, for the interest of your tale absorbs me—what exactly did you do to the instrument, for i am acquainted with a certain number of firearms, and each has to be prepared in a different manner?"
"i pulled the bolt," said he coldly, and then maintained rather an offended silence.
"did you not snap the safety catch?" said i, in some fear that i had put him out by my cross-examination.
[pg 248]
"no, sir," said he, "my rifle (for such it was) was adorned by no such appliance. but i pulled the spring ratchet home. and by way of precaution i pressed my thumb upon the main-pin for fear that the ratchet of the cambor should slip from the second groove."
"now i understand you perfectly," i said, "and i beg you to continue." and as i said this i leaned my head upon my hand so far as the jolting of the express train would allow me, and watched him with a thoughtful frown.
"well, sir," went on the unknown in an independent manner, "if you will believe me, when the beast sprang i missed him—i mean her."
"one moment," i said, "one moment. i cannot believe you. you mean that you missed some vital spot. that you missed so enormous an animal in mid-air, as large as a cottage, and in full career to bear you down, fraught with death, with pain, and with defeat, spreading its arms like windmills, and roaring to announce its approach—that i will not believe."
"you are right," said he, eyeing me in an iron manner, "i did not wholly miss the ferocious monster—or rather, monstress. when we sportsmen say 'miss' we mean hitting some part of the animal which is not vital or which still permits it to pursue its abominable purpose. at any rate the tigress (for such it was) fell to earth within a few feet of me. it did not reach me. it had miscalculated its spring...."
[pg 249]
"it is a curious point," said i (always desirous to pursue a conversation and to prolong it), "how difficult it is for a man, or a beast for that matter, to estimate the distance which he has to jump. i well remember trying to jump the river rother, which is near the eastern boundary of my own county...."
"you will allow me," he interrupted.
"no, sir," i continued, "pray let me tell you what i had to say, for it is in my mind and i wish to be rid of it. i well remember, i say, trying to jump the river rother and missing by three feet, but if you will believe me——"
"will you allow me?" he said, a little angrily.
"in a moment, sir," said i, "in a moment.... well, i say i missed it by three feet, and many a friend of mine has missed things by a little minus, but the funny thing is that they never miss it by a little plus. now, isn't that worth judging? i did indeed know one case...."
"i am determined you shall allow me," said my companion, becoming earnest.
"one moment," i pleaded, lifting my right hand slightly from the table. "i was once with a man who had to jump from an old piece of fortification on to the top of a wall about ten feet off, and if he jumped not far enough he fell into the soft ditch about five feet deep. but if he jumped too far he fell into an enormous fosse a hundred feet deep. and, by the lord, he jumped exactly three inches too far! poor devil!... now, if this tigress of [pg 250]yours had only jumped just over your head you would have had her at a disadvantage. you could have changed your front with the rapidity familiar to men of your profession, organised a concentrated fire against her just as she was executing her turning movement, and got her behind the shoulder-blade. but...."
"there is no 'but,'" said he, with an impressive but rather dangerous solemnity. "i say that the tigress came to earth just in front of me and advanced upon me by one and by two. i had no time to reload and to fire. i was all alone. what did i do?"
"that is what i was waiting to hear," i said. "it seems to me the climax of the whole story. i trust that you seized its—or i should say her—upper jaw with your left hand, lower jaw with your right hand, and tore the head asunder. there is no quicker way with a tigress."
"you are wrong," said he.
"did you not, then," said i, "suddenly fasten both hands upon its throat and, digging your thumbs conversely from right and from left upon its windpipe, strangle it to death? such a manœuvre is a matter of moments, and he laughs best who laughs last."
"i did not," said he, in a rising anger.
at this moment the train began to slow down, and i knew the place it was approaching, for i am very familiar with the line. a porter who did not know me, but whom i secretly bribed, perceiving the danger of the circumstances, took my bag and[pg 251] made a great noise with it and asked a number of questions. everybody got up, and the crowd of us began to jostle down the gangway of the eating-car. the hero was at first just behind me, and was beginning to explain to me what exactly he did to the tigress when we were unfortunately separated by two commercial travellers, a professional singer, and a politician.
fate dominates the lives of men, though will is a corrective of fate. men in a restaurant-car are like the leaves that flutter from trees or like the particles of water in the eddying of a river. i drifted from him further and further still. when we came out upon the crowded platform i saw him, the hero, waving his hand to me, desiring to re-establish with me human and communicable things and to tell me how he did at last destroy that mighty beast. but fate, which is the master of human things, would not have it so, and will, which is but a corrective of fate for us poor humans, stood me in no stead. we drifted apart; we never met again. he was off perhaps to shoot (and miss) some other tigress (or, who knows, a tiger?) and i to another town where i might yet again wonder at the complexity of the world and the justice of god!
anyhow, i never understood how he killed the tigress. were it not for the evidence of my senses i should be willing to believe that the tigress killed him. but we must never believe anything that is even apparently against the evidence of our senses.
farewell, dear mortals!
