“how is louise now?”
“she seems a little better!”
that message came over the ’phone on friday evening, just as the members of the hope farm family were separating for the night. early in the year we had a letter from a woman in the west who came back to the paper after 15 years’ absence. as a girl she lived in new york state. father took the paper and she remembered the talks about the bud, scion and graft. “what has become of those children?” she asked. “since i left home i have lost track of them. now that i have a home and children of my own i would like to know what they came to.”
these were the names given to the four children of our first brood. we had one little girl of our own whom i called the bud. her mother did not want her brought up alone, so we took in a small boy—a little fellow of an uncertain age. we did not adopt him, but he was treated just like our own child, and “grew up” in our home. i called him the seedling! a noted botanist argued with me to prove that these names should have been transposed—but i let them go, for we tried to graft good things upon the seedling. then came two other little ones—mother’s niece and nephew, needing home and protection. we took them in, and i called them graft and scion. these names may not have betrayed any great knowledge of botany, but they seemed to fit the children, although as the little ones grew up we were glad to let those names drop.
this quartette of little ones grew and thrived. it was at times rather hard sledding for the hope farmers in those early years, but youth greases the runners with hope, and kids never know the true taste of tough mutton. they grew on through sickness, the wilfulness of childhood, powers of heredity and all the things which confront common children. for they always seemed to me just kids of very common clay, though mother would at times come back from places where other children “behaved” and say: “you must understand that we have some very superior youngsters!” of course i realized that the “bud” would most likely be pretty much what her parents were, and it was a long-time hope that she would throw out our many undesirable qualities and concentrate upon the few good ones. now comes our friend asking what has become of them—and i will try to answer for all! the bud is a senior at one of the great women’s colleges; the graft is with an engineering party running a new railroad through the arizona wilderness; the seedling is a captain in the salvation army—the scion! ah! that is why i am writing this!
louise grew up a small, rather delicate young woman, ambitious, clear-brained and with a quick, active mind. there came a time when greater family responsibilities came upon us all. her father died, and her mother became hopelessly ill, and four younger brothers and sisters came to us to form what we call our second brood. even as a young girl louise began to realize the stern responsibilities of life for those little ones. when she finished high school her ambition to be of service to this family group became fixed. she wanted to become self-supporting and to have a hand in helping with these younger children. teaching is the great resource of educated women who are naturally fitted for the work, and louise saw in the schoolroom her best chance for useful service. i think this was one of the rare cases where women are willing to work and prepare themselves for true unselfish service. louise was timid and naturally nervous—not strong or with great dominating power. i do not think any of us understood how much it really meant to her to face direct responsibility and force her way through.
mother and i have always felt that if any of our children show real, self-sacrificing desire for an education we will practise any form of needed self-denial that the child may be college-trained. for an education worked out in that way will become a glory and an honor to all who have to do with it. so we felt it no burden, but rather a privilege, to send louise to the normal school. how well and faithfully she worked no one can ever realize. i often think that most reputations for bravery in this world are not fairly earned. some strong, well-bred, naturally optimistic character, with health and heritage from a long line of dominating ancestors pushes and smashes his way through obstacles and acquires a great reputation for courage. i think such are far less deserving than women like louise, small and delicate and nervous, who conquer natural timidity and force themselves to endure the battle. it is even harder to win confidence in yourself—to conquer the inside forces—than to fight the outside ones.
louise did this. she did it well, without boasting or great complaint and without flinching. at times she was depressed, for the task seemed too much for her, but she rose above it and won. she won honors at her school, and long before she expected it, on her own little, honest record in the schoolroom, she was employed to teach at a good salary. it was to be only four miles from home—amid the best surroundings—and there was no happier woman on earth than was louise when she wrote us the first news about it. it came just before christmas. there are many women who could not see any cause for christmas joy in the thought of long years of monotonous and wearying service, but louise saw in this something of the joy of achievement, for through honest, trained labor, the outcome of her own patience and determination, she was to become self-supporting and a genuine help to the children. i presume no one but a conscientious and ambitious woman can realize what that means. i know women who would look upon such power of self-support simply as selfish freedom. louise saw in it the power of greater service. we have tried our best to train our children for that view of a life work.
you may therefore imagine that the holidays at hope farm seemed like holy days indeed. they were all there except the seedling and the graft, and they sent messages which left no regret, no sadness to creep in out of the past. somehow i hope all you older people may know before you pass on something of what mother and i did about our two broods as the old year passed on.
yet there it comes again—the old question. i came home a little later than usual on friday night. the night was wet and foggy, and mother met me at the train. one of the little boys who usually comes for me had gone to meet louise. her first week of school was over, and she was coming home—a teacher! as we drove into the yard the family ran out to meet us—“something has happened—they want you on the ’phone at once!” ah! but these country tragedies may flash upon us without warning. halfway home louise had been stricken desperately ill, and she now lay at the parsonage—three miles away—helpless. just as quickly as fingers could put the harness on our fastest horse, mother and “cherry-top” were driving off into the fog and rain. we waited until they reached the parsonage and then we kept the ’phone busy. the poor girl, riding home after her first fine week in the schoolroom, had been stricken with an internal hemorrhage—and it was doubtful if she could rally! at nine o’clock came the message: “she seems to be better.” the little boys were coming home—and they soon appeared, white and troubled. mother was to stay all night and she sent a hopeful message about coming in the morning with louise. we went to bed to get strength and nerve for any emergency. in the early morning mother walked into my room and turned up the light. we looked at each other for a moment. then there were six words:
“how is louise?”
“she is gone!”
we said nothing more, but we were both thinking the same thing!
“the first break in our big family has come. how is louise now?”
there was no way of saving her. human skill and human love had failed. she was dead!
it was a beautiful service. there were only our own family and perhaps a dozen friends. we all wanted it so. we do not like the wild grief and public curiosity so often displayed at large funerals. there was just a great bank of flowers, a white casket and a simple service over this brave and loyal girl. i do not say “poor” girl, nor do i dwell upon the sadness of it. i thought that all out as mother and i sat at the head of the casket. she died gloriously—like a soldier at his duty. she died when life was young. she had just won her little battle in the great world of affairs. she died in the joy of victory and in the faith that all things are possible. the wine of life was full. she never knew the sting of defeat, the shame and meanness of false friendships and ambitions, which has come to those of us who linger on the way. and so at the end of it all i ask the old question once more:
“how is louise now?”
“she is better! thank god! she is better!”
