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Chapter Two THE MADNESS OF EXTRAVAGANCE

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i remember very well indeed that bitter period of transition when first the ideal, or lack of ideals, of the newer america began to corrode the old society. i remember with what intense bitterness and chagrin the early excesses of the earliest of the idle rich were condoned by the leaders of society in that day. at first the social world fought hard for its traditions, and the leaders of american society of my father’s day were never reconciled to the changes that came about in the body social. in boston and philadelphia, to this day, society maintains its battle against the invader. now, as then, society frowns upon the idle men. only recently one of the leaders of boston society quoted in the course of a conversation with me that powerful sentence from one of mr. roosevelt’s speeches:

“the wilfully idle man, like the wilfully barren woman, has no place in a sane, healthy, vigorous community.”

that, after all, is as much a tradition of true society as it is of the plains and the fields. i do not yield to any man or any class in america in my detestation of idleness in man or woman. and i believe that the traditions of real american society support me in this attitude.

in spite of ourselves, we drifted into a period in which idleness became the fashion. we did not know just why the thing was true; but we were forced to recognize its truth. now, looking back rather than forward over the past quarter of a century, one may see quite clearly how it came about. and i purpose, in the course of this book, to write down, perhaps for the amusement of my own contemporaries, perhaps for the guidance of those who have not yet begun to think about these matters, the causes that gave us this plague of idleness.

first of all, however, i would merely set down in a phrase the immediate cause of it, and then proceed to sketch the phenomenon itself, that one may know the things which are right. it was the magic of gold; it was the poison of idle wealth. it came at first like a little spot upon the body of a man. quickly it spread from limb to limb, and part to part, until, in the fulness of time, it was a leprosy, following the body of society almost from head to foot. it was the curse of gold, no more, no less—the same condition that laid in the dust the glory of athens, that hurled to ruin the splendour of rome, that brought upon bourbon france the terror of the revolution.

think, if you can, of the swift stages through which we pass. picture the solid, conventional, christian, and cleanly society of new york immediately after the civil war. to think of it now, even as i learned it by hearsay, very likely, brings me a feeling of personal regret, as though i had lost a fine old friend. picture, then, the beginning of a revolution, small, inconsequent—yet, to the most discerning, portentous of evil and pregnant of disaster. a few young men, sons of society, set up new idols in the ancient temples. they began to ape the habits and to imitate the morals of that world which, while possessing wealth in plenty, had never possessed the refinement or the ethical standards of true society.

it is a melancholy fact that the impetus toward extravagance, excess, debauchery, and shamelessness came to us from the under-world.

for always, in every country, just outside the gates, there lives a people peculiar to itself. they have wealth equal, perhaps, to that of any in the social world. they have education, it may be, of the finest. they have desires, just as all men have. they have instincts, it may be, little better or little worse than those of the best in the land. the gates are shut against them for reasons that, to those inside, seem quite sufficient. it may be vulgarity; it may be immorality; it may be mere gaucherie of manners; it may be lack of education; or it may be any one of a dozen other reasons that puts them beyond the pale. whatever may be the reason, the fact remains that they are beyond the pale.

in this class of society, always, in all races, morals, and manners tend to excesses. they are not restrained by sane conventions and laws that regulate society; nor are they held in the leash of respectability or in the chains of religion or of honour, as are the sturdy men and women of the so-called middle class. constantly they are in rebellion against these laws and these traditions. ever they are prone to substitute license for liberty, to plunge into immorality, to draw upon the stage in its worst moods for their passions and their pleasures, and to practise in their lives the vices of the decadent nations.

in this stage of our social life of which i write, the manners, the morals, and the practices of this social class crept into even that small section of society which calls itself “the upper class.” the young men—and unhappily the young women—of the finest families in our great cities began to copy the vices and to imitate the manners of this other class, and to plunge into the same excesses that marked its manner of life.

there is a vast difference between the healthy, wholesome spending of money for amusements, pleasures, and recreations and the feverish searching for some new sensation that can be had only at a tremendous cost. the simple expenditure of money, even in startling amounts, eventually fails to produce the thrill that it ought to have, and when the30 man or woman of fortune, with little to think of but the constant hunt for amusement and novelty, begins to suffer from continuous ennui, the result is frequently amazing and sometimes sickening.

a wearied, bored group of men arranged a dinner. they had been attending dinners until such functions had lost interest for them. similarly their friends were wearied by the conventional dinner of the time. why not prepare a meal, the like of which had never been before? why not amuse society and astonish the part of the community that is outside of society? they did so. the dinner was served on horseback on the upper floor of a fashionable new york resort, the name of which is known from coast to coast; the guests were attired in riding habits; the handsomely groomed horses pranced and clattered31 about the magnificent dining-room, each bearing, besides its rider, a miniature table. the hoofs of the animals were covered with soft rubber pads to save the waxed floor from destruction. at midnight a reporter for an active and sensational morning newspaper ran across the choice bit of news. he telephoned the information to his city editor and the reply of that moulder of opinion was brief and to the point.

“you’re lying to me,” said the editor.

the most sensational paper in town refused to believe its reporter, who attempted later on to reach the scene of the event, but was repulsed and driven away.

“how much did it cost?” the public inquired interestedly. the man who paid the bill knew. the public and its newspapers guessed, their estimates running from ten thousand to fifty thousand dollars.

the fond owner of a diminutive black-and-tan 32dog gave a banquet in honour of the animal. the dog was worth, perhaps, fifty dollars. the festivities were very gay. the man’s friends came to his dinner in droves, the men in evening clothes and the women bedecked in shimmering silks and flashing jewels. in the midst of the dinner, the man formally decorated his dog with a diamond collar worth fifteen thousand dollars. it contained seven hundred small brilliants, varying in weight from one sixth to one carat. the guests shouted their approval, and the dinner was regarded as a huge success.

the leader of a wealthy clique in a western city was struck with a unique idea. he was tired of spending money. there was nothing new for which to spend it. he gave a “poverty social.” the thirty33 guests came to his palatial home in rags and tatters. scraps of food were served on wooden plates. the diners sat about on broken soap boxes, buckets, and coal-hods. newspapers, dust cloths, and old skirts were used as napkins, and beer was served in a rusty tin can, instead of the conventional champagne. they played being poor for one night, and not one of them but joined in ecstatic praise of their host and his unusual ability to provide a sensation.

a bored individual with a fondness for gems covered as much of his person as possible with diamonds. when he walked abroad, he flashed and sparkled in the sunlight. he, also, became the possessor of a happy inspiration. he went to his dentist and had little holes bored in his teeth, into which the tooth expert inserted34 twin rows of diamonds. he had found another way of spending money.

a southern millionaire purchased an imported motor car. it cost him twelve thousand dollars when it came off the ship. he looked at it in scorn and called in decorators. the car was refitted completely. it was equipped with two diminutive rooms, a living apartment, and a sleeping room. hot and cold water fixtures were put in and space was found for a small bath-tub. a kitchen with a full equipment of cooking utensils was added, and, when the various tradesmen and mechanics completed their work, the car resembled a complete and luxuriously furnished home on wheels. the original cost of twelve thousand dollars had been brought up to thirty thousand and the owner was temporarily contented.

very young and very wealthy was the35 young man whose attentions to an embryonic actress amused a community a few years back. it was the young man’s opinion that he was desperately in love with the lady, who in later years married a publisher of songs. the millionaire youngster showered the girl with gifts. he gave her rings, bracelets, necklaces, and diamond-studded combs for her black tresses until she glistened from head to foot. the very buttons of her gloves were diamonds and her shoes were fastened with monster pearls. the question of taste never entered into the situation. it was simply the spending of money and the bedecking of a coarse, but crafty, stage girl. in three years, she succeeded in throwing away almost a million dollars for the deluded youngster, at the end of which time they parted.

at the conclusion of an elaborate affair 36in new york city, the guests leaned back in their chairs to listen to the singers. the cigarettes were passed around. oddly enough, the banquet had not been marked until that moment, and, as the host was famous for the unusualness of his dinners, many of the diners were disappointed. their disappointment gave way to admiration. each cigarette was rolled, not in white paper, but in a one hundred dollar bill and the initials of the host were engraved in gold letters. this strange conceit was applauded until the voices of the singers struggled amid the uproar.

a member of the idle rich rumbled along a jersey highway in his motor car. he approached an excavation where workmen were manœuvring cranes and hoists. at the side of the road lay a dying horse.37 it had fallen into a hole and two of its legs were broken. the workmen were waiting for the arrival of a policeman to put the suffering animal to death.

“i’ll save that horse,” decided the wealthy motorist. his decision was simply an idle whim. when the policeman came, the motorist had already bought the useless horse for a ten dollar bill. he procured an ambulance and had the animal removed to his own stable. he summoned the foremost veterinarians in new york and the crippled work horse was patched up. for weeks it hung suspended in a sling and finally the broken bones knitted and the horse hobbled about. the veterinarians demanded five thousand dollars for their work and were paid without complaint. in his stoutest days, the saved horse was worth no more than a hundred dollars.

a well known metropolitan spender has 38an annual bill of some ten thousand dollars for shoes alone. his order stands in every manufactory in america and europe. whenever a new style of men’s shoes is designed, a sample pair is immediately shipped to him. he cannot possibly wear a tenth of the shoes sent to him, but he has the satisfying knowledge that he is never behind the style.

the wife of a western man owns a pet monkey. the little beast lives in a private room and is constantly attended by a valet. it rides abroad behind its private trotter, has its own outfit of clothes, its dining table, and a bed made of solid ivory, tipped with gold ornaments. all told, perhaps a dozen human beings minister to the comfort of the little simian and the mistress cheerfully pays from ten to39 fifteen thousand dollars yearly on this one extravagance. she became dissatisfied with the dining service in the monkey-room of her home, and her pet now eats its meals off solid silver plates.

at a dinner party given by a notorious millionaire, each guest discovered in one of his oysters a magnificent black pearl. it was a fitting prelude to a sumptuous banquet and it contained an element of surprise. it was said that the dinner cost the giver twenty thousand dollars.

a party of engineers were studying the country in a southern state with an eye to a future railroad. accompanying them was a tired young man of wealth, who had little interest in what they were doing, and who had gone with them in search of possible amusement. he found it. the party discovered an aged family of primitive40 negroes living in a wretched hovel on the edge of a swamp. the millionaire was struck by the utter desolation of the house and its occupants. it occurred to him that he might find it interesting to aid the darkeys. he parted company with the engineers, and, with a single friend, he gave himself over to bettering the condition of the coloured family. carpenters appeared from new orleans. materials were dragged through the country behind mules. decorations were shipped from new york. the tottering shack came down and a splendid country bungalow was reared in its place. the interior was furnished with a lavish hand and with a total disregard for expense. white pillars supported the roof. old-fashioned fireplaces were built into the walls and plate-glass windows were set into the doors.41 the floors were paved with concrete, and a handsome bath room was fitted up for the amazed and awe-stricken family. when he had finished the home, the young man turned his attention to its inmates. he bought them clothes—such clothes as they had never before dreamed of. he provided them with toilet articles and trifling luxuries, and, before he went away, he supplied the larder with enough food to last a year. that negro family is still the talk of the entire state in which it lives and its members regard what has happened as a manifestation from on high. the young man in search of interesting occupation parted from twenty thousand of his innumerable dollars and probably thinks of the whole affair with satisfaction.

an italian savant and student has visited america. he has set down his opinions42 and some of them are interesting. he finds, for instance, that the wife of one of our foremost millionaires wears a necklace that cost more than six hundred thousand dollars. the infant son of this favoured lady reposed, during his tenderer years, in a cradle that was valued at ten thousand dollars and immediately following the birth of the boy—an event that was flashed by telegraph to the furthest corners of the earth—a retinue of servants was formed for the sole benefit of the infant. this corps of retainers consisted of four nurse ladies, four high-priced physicians, who examined the child four times a day, and posted serious bulletins for the information of the clamant press and public.

another child came to another family, and fifth avenue trotted past the birthplace with bated breath and curious eyes.43 when the boy came to that stage of his development wherein the salutary bottle could be dispensed with, he was clothed in dignity and provided with a staff of personal attendants consisting of two able cooks, six grooms, three coachmen, two valets, and one governess. he grew in health and strength and to-day he manages a railway with acumen and success.

a gentleman of improvident habits and few dollars packed his meagre belongings in a hand bag and departed for the west. subsequently, he achieved fortune and fame and came into possession of a gold mine, the ledges of which soon placed his name high in the ranks of america’s millionaires. overcome by gratitude, he gave a commemorative dinner party in the sombre depths of the kindly mine. the space devoted to the festivities was forty44 feet wide and seventy feet long. one hundred guests assembled in the bowels of the mine and sat down to a sumptuous feast. the waiters were clad in imitation of miners. they hovered about attentively with oil lamps flaring from their foreheads. picks and shovels decorated the uneven walls, and the various courses were lowered from the mouth of the mine in the faithful cage that had carried up to the grateful millionaire his many dollars. a band discoursed sweet music and the bill was some fourteen thousand dollars.

a man of common name, but of uncommon wealth, decided to have a home in new york city. he purchased the palace of a friend who had died and paid for it two million dollars, which was popularly supposed to be one half the original cost of the pile. on his garden, to make space45 for which he tore down a building that had cost a hundred thousand, the new owner spent five hundred thousand dollars. his bedstead is of carved ivory and ebony, inlaid with gold. it cost two hundred thousand dollars. the walls are richly carved and decorated with enamel and gold; they cost sixty-five thousand dollars. on the ceiling, the happy millionaire expended twenty thousand in carvings, enamels, and gold, and ten pairs of filmy curtains, costing two thousand a pair, wave in the morning breeze. the wardrobe in this famous bedroom represents an outlay of one hundred and fifty thousand dollars and the dressing table sixty-five thousand. the wash stand cost thirty-eight thousand, and the bed hangings, fifty dollars a yard. the chimney-piece and overhanging mantel threw into general46 circulation eight thousand more, and the four doors consumed another ten thousand.

a wealthy lover of music paid the highest price ever recorded for a piano. it was no ordinary piano. its price was fifty thousand dollars. for a single painting a westerner paid fifty-five thousand dollars. another collector, whose name is known in the humblest homes, expended fifty thousand dollars for a silver trinket only four inches high.

an enthusiastic american happened to live in london at the time the north pole was discovered. for an indefinite period of time the north pole was seemingly discovered by two americans. that controversy is ended and dead, but the memory of the dinner given in london by the proud american will live for many years. thirty47 guests accepted the invitations, and, upon entering the home of their host, found themselves in a barren and icy waste. the prow of an ice-bound ship protruded from one side of the wall. pale electric lights flashed coldly from a score of points. icebergs towered above the dinner table, surmounted by polar bears. in the centre of the room was a huge oval table to represent a solid block of ice and thereon the brilliant feast was served. the waiters moved about noiselessly in the costumes of eskimos, hooded in the skins of animals and clad in the white fur of polar bears. the dinner was a tremendous success. it cost the american ten thousand dollars and not one word of criticism was passed, except by the suffering waiters in their heavy furs on a warm mid-summer day.

a wealthy mining man wagered upon48 the outcome of an election and lost. he proceeded to pay his bet by giving a dinner in his stables. thirty-five guests appeared and prepared to enjoy themselves to the fullest. the table was arranged in the shape of a horseshoe, and the waiters were jockeys in silken jackets and long peak caps. during the enthusiastic scenes that followed, the favourite horse of the host was admitted to the banquet room from his near-by box stall and diverted the guests by eating the flowers, with which the banquet table was heavily laden, and by drinking champagne from the punch-bowl. tiny shetland ponies trotted and pranced about the diners and the favourite steed became mildly intoxicated from the champagne and was ridden about the room by hilarious men. the entire dinner was the exact opposite49 of monotony. it cost the loser of the bet twelve thousand dollars.

a famous ten thousand dollar dinner was given in the heart of the tired old metropolis. the table was laid out as an oval and over its smooth surface costly flowers were spread in deep layers. in the centre was a lake of limpid water, suspended from the ceiling by gold wire network. four white swans swam about during the progress of the banquet. from various rings in the ceiling hung golden cages containing rare song birds that twittered incessantly and the guests ate fruit from the branches of dwarf trees especially provided and at a cost that might seem staggering to the commonplace man of little wealth.

in paris, a voluntarily exiled millionaire provided a dinner for twenty-two of his50 intimate friends. for each guest was a private carriage with a team of splendid horses, and when the fortunate diners arrived in state, each found before him a whole leg of mutton, a whole salmon, an entire fowl, a basket of assorted fruits, and several bottles of wine. a mysterious bag made its appearance toward the close of the feast and each diner was invited to explore it for a keepsake. the souvenirs consisted of pearl studs, emerald links, cigarette cases of solid gold, inlaid with jewels, diamond rings, and other trifles. thirty thousand dollars went into the pockets of the parisian shopkeepers from this single dinner.

in searching for an unusual manner to spend a large sum of money upon a single object, a man of wealth selected a beautiful pair of opera glasses. they were made of solid51 gold and the lenses were perfect. the cost was seventy-five thousand dollars, principally because of a lyre which surmounted the top, and which was encrusted with diamonds and sapphires. without the embellishments, glasses of equal worth may be purchased in any shop for twenty dollars.

what was at the time designated as a tame waste of wealth, drunkenness without conviviality, the amusement of dull and unintelligent society, was a seventy-five thousand dollar feast given a few years ago. monkeys sat between the guests and ducks swam about in pools contained in ivory fountains. an entire theatrical company journeyed from new york to provide entertainment for the favoured guests.

one of the most prominent band-masters in america was summoned by telegraph52 to gather an orchestra of forty pieces. the command came from a woman of vast wealth in whose service the man of music had often laboured. a child had been born to her. she desired to have the occasion fittingly celebrated, and the diligent leader hurried home from the midst of a vacation, selected an orchestra, rehearsed, and eventually serenaded the new-come bit of humanity.

the “freak” dinner takes on many forms. one of the most unusual of this sort was given by a south african millionaire whose wealth had come from the diamond mines at kimberly. the dinner was given amidst scenes of the kimberly diggings. beautiful birds flew about, and a hidden band wafted soft strains upon the assembled guests. huge quartz blocks surrounded the table and formed the walls.53 the floor was inch deep with sand, and a monster tent raised its head in the centre of the space. on the wash stand was a rough board on which were scrawled the words: “wash your hands before sitting down to eat.” it was all very amusing and undoubtedly unique. veldt carts rumbled back and forth, pickaxes hung suspended from silken cords, and bags of genuine gold-dust, lay scattered about. turtle soup was served from a cauldron, and two armed boers paced up and down as sentinels. the dinner cost twenty thousand dollars.

in boston a man of gold fell ill. from his waist down, he became nerveless and helpless. the time hung heavily on his hands as he lay in a hospital bed, and he determined to provide adequate amusement. his bed was removed to the largest54 room in the hospital. an entire musical comedy company was transported from new york city and a popular production of the day was performed for the benefit of the invalid. it cost him three thousand five hundred dollars, and it was probably worth it.

in pittsburg, workmen went about their task mysteriously. they were constructing a great glass tank. for five days they laboured and finally the affair was completed. it was taken into the banquet room of a hotel and filled with water. a dinner was to be given by the officials of a corporation. as the hours wore on, the diners waxed enthusiastic and happy. the more important and dignified officials of the corporation left. they probably knew what was coming and desired to be absent in view of possible newspaper55 investigation. then came the solution of the mystery. a human gold fish swam about in the tank—a shapely girl, clad in golden spangles and scales. the dinner was very expensive. those who attended the banquet afterward declined to discuss it with the reporters when questioned about the human gold fish.

another celebrated dinner that represented the effort of a wealthy man to vary the monotony of life and to provide a unique outlet for his money was the feast that culminated in the appearance of the girl in the pie. a monster pie was carried before the astounded diners upon the shoulders of four servants. the top crust was cut open. a slip of a girl bounded to her feet. a score of birds was released at the same moment.

in los angeles the son of a millionaire56 mine owner felt the time hanging heavily upon his hands. he wandered down to where the trains rumbled in and out of the station, and an idea possessed him. he ordered a special train of five coaches and informed his friends. those who cared to go accompanied the young squanderer. for fifty thousand dollars the railway company, which cares little about human emotions or desires, offered to take the young man to new york. train despatchers cleared the rails. switches were nailed fast. the young man and his special train were shot across the continent like a flying star. he was buying a fresh experience at a price that in all probability suited him.

a nebraska individual is the proud owner of a hat that is made of greenbacks. it is rather a costly hat, as twenty thousand57 dollars in bills was used in making it. it weighs twenty ounces and it looks exactly like the white hats worn by gentlemen. a young crœsus grew fond of a lady fair and sought to display a mark of his affection in some extraordinary manner. he commissioned eight of the foremost artists in america to paint a fan. the cost was one hundred thousand dollars.

for five years skilled artisans have been carving a tombstone. the man who ordered the tombstone is still living, but the tombstone is vast in bulk, and the carvers have plenty of space to display their ingenuity. it is the order of the patron that work shall not cease until he is dead, and each year he sends the monument company a check for fifteen thousand dollars to cover running expenses. if the gentleman lives long enough, his tombstone58 will be a spectacle worth seeing when it is finally bundled into place over his casket.

one of the most lavish and expensive—probably the most expensive—dinners ever given in america was a hyphenated feast, the record of which is writ large upon the annals of metropolitan society. it endured for six hours and cost fourteen thousand dollars per hour.

but why enumerate any more of these instances? our papers are full of them. my purpose, however, is larger than gossip and i shall mention other pieces of extravagance wherever they make a point.

59

“no men living are more worthy to be trusted than those who toil up from poverty—none less inclined to take or touch what they have not honestly earned. let them beware of surrendering a political power which they already possess, and which, if surrendered, will surely be used to close the door of advancement against such as they, and to fix new disabilities and burdens upon them, till all of liberty shall be lost.”

—abraham lincoln.

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