refers to two important letters, and a secret mission.
it is a curious coincidence that, about the very time when my servant was appointed to serve in the turkish ambulance corps, i received permission to act as a surgeon in the russian army. through the influence of nicholas naranovitsch, i was attached to his own regiment, and thus enjoyed the pleasure of his society for a considerable time after the breaking out of the war.
i preferred this course to that of returning home, because, first, i could not bear the thought of leaving the country without making every possible exertion to ascertain the fate of my yacht’s crew, and rendering them succour if possible; and, secondly, because i felt an irresistible desire to alleviate, professionally, the sufferings of those who were certain to be wounded during the war. i also experienced much curiosity to know something more of the power and influence of modern war-engines. perhaps some people will think this latter an unworthy motive. it may have been so; i cannot tell. all i can say is that it was a very secondary one, and would not, of itself, have been sufficient to induce me to remain for an hour to witness the horrors and carnage of battle-fields. still, putting the various motives together, i felt justified in remaining.
in order that i might render still more effective service to the cause of humanity, i wrote, immediately after my appointment as surgeon, to an intimate friend, north of the tweed, offering my services as war correspondent to a paper of which he was editor, namely, the scottish bawbee.
that celebrated journal,—well known on the east, west, and north coasts of scotland, and extensively circulated in the centre and south of the country, including england,—is liberal in its principles, conservative in reference only to things that are good, and violently radical when treating of those that are bad. it enjoys the credit of being curt in its statements, brief in the expression of its opinions, perfectly silent in reference to its surmises, distinctly repudiative of the gift of prophecy, consistently averse to the attribution of motives, persistently wise in giving the shortest possible account of murders and scandalous cases, and copious in its references to literature, art, and religious progress, besides being extremely methodical in its arrangement.
in regard to the latter quality, i cannot refrain from referring to its sensible mode of treating births, marriages, and deaths, by putting the christian and surname of the born, married, or defunct as the first words in each announcement, so that one’s digestion at breakfast is aided by reading with some comfort of the joys and sorrows of one’s friends, instead of having incipient dyspepsia engendered by a painful search for the main facts in confusing sentences.
the editor’s reply came by return of post. it contained the acceptance of my services, and a proposal of extremely liberal terms, allowing me, besides a handsome retaining fee, two horses, and such travelling attendants as might be found necessary. there were also certain emphatic stipulations which are worth recording. i was not, on any pretext whatever, to attempt the divination, much less the revelation, of the future. i was never, upon any consideration, to be seduced into lengthy descriptions of things that i did not see, or minute particulars about matters which i did not know. i was utterly to ignore, and refuse to be influenced by, personal predilections or prejudices in regard to either combatant. i was to say as little about scenery as was consistent with a correct delineation of the field of war, and never to venture on sentimental allusions to sunsets, moonlights, or water-reflections of any kind. i was not to forget that a newspaper was a vehicle for the distribution of news, the announcement of facts and the discussion thereof, not a medium for the dissemination of fancies and fiddlededee. above all, i was never to write a column and a half of speculation as to the possible and probable movements of armies; to be followed “in our next” by two columns of the rumoured movements of armies; to be continued “in our next” by two columns and a half of the actual movements of armies; to wind up “in our next” with three columns of retrospective consideration as to what might, could, would, or should have been the movements of armies; but that i was, on the contrary, to bear in remembrance the adage about “brevity” being the “soul of wit,” and, when i had nothing to write, to write nothing. by so doing, it was added, i should please the editor and charm the public, one of whose minor griefs is, as regards newspapers, that it is brought into a state of disgust with every event of this life long before it has happened, and thoroughly nauseated with it long after it is past,—to say nothing of the resulting mental confusion.
in case any gentleman of the press should feel injured by these statements, i must remind him that i am not responsible for them. they are the sentiments of the scottish bawbee, which must be taken for what they are worth. it is true, i heartily agree with them, but that is an entirely different subject, on which i do not enter.
i readily agreed to fall in with the wishes of the editor, and thenceforward devoted myself, heart and soul, to correspondence and surgery. in both fields of labour i found ample scope for all the powers of body and mind that i possessed.
just about this time i received a letter from my dear mother, who was aware of my plans. it cost me some anxiety, as it was utterly impossible that i should comply with the injunctions it contained. “jeffry, my dear boy,” she wrote, “let me entreat you, with all the solemnity of maternal solicitude, to take care of your health. let russians and turks kill and expose themselves as they please, but ever bear in remembrance that it is your duty to avoid danger. whatever you do, keep your feet dry and your— i need not go further into particulars; medical allusions cannot always be couched in language such as one desires. never sleep on damp ground, nor, if possible, without a roof or a covering of some sort over your head. even a parasol is better than nothing. if, despite your precautions, you should catch cold, tie a worsted sock—one of the red and black striped ones i have knitted for you—round your neck, and take one drop of aconite—only one, remember—before going to bed. i know how, with your allopathic notions, you will smile at this advice, but i assure you, as your mother, that it will prove an infallible cure. never sit in a draught when you can avoid it. if you ever come under fire, which i trust you never may, be sure to get behind a house, or a wall, or a stone, if possible; if you cannot do so, get behind a soldier, one larger than yourself would be preferable of course, but if you have not the opportunity of doing this, then turn your side to the enemy, because in that position you are a much narrower target, and more likely to escape their bullets. i need not caution you not to run away. i would rather see you, dear boy, in a premature grave, than hear that you had run away. but you could not run away. no childers ever did so—except from school.
“let the phial of globules which i gave you at parting be your bosom friends, till their friendship is required in another and a lower region. they are a sovereign remedy against rheumatism, catarrh, bronchitis, dyspepsia, lumbago, nervous affections, headaches, loss of memory, debility, monomania, melancholia, botherolia, theoretica, and, in short, all the ills that flesh is heir to, if only taken in time.”
it struck me, as i folded my mother’s letter and that of the editor, that there never was a man who went into any course of action better guarded and advised than myself. at the moment when this thought occurred to me, my friend nicholas burst into my room in a state of unusual excitement.
“come, jeff,” he said, “i’m detailed for another secret duty. people seem to have inordinate faith in me, for all my duties are secret! are you willing to go with me?”
“go where?” i asked.
“that i may not tell,” he replied; “anywhere, or nowhere, or everywhere. all i can say is, that if you go, it will be to act as surgeon to a squadron of cavalry. i see you have letters. good news from home—eh? what of bella?”
“yes” i replied, “good news and good advice—listen.”
i reopened the letters and read them aloud.
“capital!” exclaimed nicholas, “just the thing for you. no doubt my expedition will furnish a column and a half, if not more, of unquestionable facts for the scottish bawbee. get ready, my boy; i start in half-an-hour.”
he swung off in the same hearty, reckless manner with which he had entered; and i immediately set about packing up my surgical instruments and note-books, and making other preparations for a journey of unknown extent and duration.
