it was not her real name: it was given to her by her brothers and sister. people with very marked qualities of character do sometimes get such distinctive titles, to rectify the indefiniteness of those they inherit and those they receive in baptism. the ruling peculiarity of a character is apt to show itself early in life, and it showed itself in madam liberality when she was a little child.

plum-cakes were not plentiful in her home when madam liberality was young, and such as there were, were of the "wholesome" kind—plenty of bread-stuff, and the currants and raisins at a respectful distance from each other. but few as the plums were, she seldom ate them. she picked them out very carefully, and put them into a box, which was hidden under her pinafore.

when we grown-up people were children, and [258]plum-cake and plum-pudding tasted very much nicer than they do now, we also picked out the plums. some of us ate them at once, and had then to toil slowly through the cake or pudding, and some valiantly dispatched the plainer portion of the feast at the beginning, and kept the plums to sweeten the end. sooner or later we ate them ourselves, but madam liberality kept her plums for other people.

when the vulgar meal was over—that commonplace refreshment ordained and superintended by the elders of the household—madam liberality would withdraw into a corner, from which she issued notes of invitation to all the dolls. they were "fancy written" on curl papers and folded into cocked hats.

then began the real feast. the dolls came, and the children with them. madam liberality had no toy tea-sets or dinner-sets, but there were acorn-cups filled to the brim, and the water tasted deliciously, though it came out of the ewer in the night nursery, and had not even been filtered. and before every doll was a flat oyster-shell covered with a round oyster-shell, a complete set of complete pairs, which had been collected by degrees, like old family plate. and when the upper shell was raised, on every dish lay a plum. it was then that madam liberality got her sweetness out of the cake.

she was in her glory at the head of the inverted [259]tea-chest; and if the raisins would not go round, the empty oyster-shell was hers, and nothing offended her more than to have this noticed. that was her spirit, then and always. she could "do without" anything, if the wherewithal to be hospitable was left to her.

when one's brain is no stronger than mine is, one gets very much confused in disentangling motives and nice points of character. i have doubted whether madam liberality's besetting virtue were a virtue at all. was it unselfishness or a love of approbation, benevolence or fussiness, the gift of sympathy or the lust of power? or was it something else? she was a very sickly child, with much pain to bear, and many pleasures to forego. was it, as doctors say, "an effort of nature," to make her live outside herself and be happy in the happiness of others?

equal doubt may hang over the conduct of her brothers and sister towards her. did they more love her, or find her useful? was their gratitude—as gratitude has been defined to be—"a keen sense of favours to come"? they certainly got used to her services, and to begging and borrowing the few things that were her "very own," without fear of refusal. but if they rather took her benevolence for granted, and thought that she "liked lending her things," and that it was her way of enjoying possessions, they may have been right; for next to one's own soul, one's own family [260]is perhaps the best judge of one's temper and disposition.

and they called her madam liberality, so madam liberality she shall remain.

it has been hinted that there was a reason for the scarceness of the plums in the plum-cake. madam liberality's father was dead, and her mother was very poor, and had several children. it was not an easy matter with her to find bread for the family, putting currants and raisins out of the question.

though poor, they were, however, gentle-folk, and had, for that matter, rich relations. very rich relations indeed! madam liberality's mother's first cousin had fifteen thousand a year. his servants did not spend ten thousand. (as to what he spent himself, it was comparatively trifling.) the rest of the money accumulated. not that it was being got together to do something with by and by. he had no intention of ever spending more than he spent at present. indeed, with a lump of coal taken off here, and a needless candle blown out there, he rather hoped in future to spend less.

his wife was madam liberality's god-mother. she was a good-hearted woman, and took real pleasure in being kind to people, in the way she thought best for them. sometimes it was a graceful and appropriate way, and very often it was not. the most acceptable [261]act of kindness she ever did to her god-daughter was when the child was recovering from an illness, and she asked her to visit her at the seaside.

madam liberality had never seen the sea, and the thought of it proved a better stimulus than the port wine which her doctor ordered so easily, and her mother got with such difficulty.

when new clothes were bought, or old ones refurbished, madam liberality, as a rule, went to the wall. not because her mother was ever guilty of favouritism, but because such occasions afforded an opportunity of displaying generosity towards her younger sister.

but this time it was otherwise; for whatever could be spared towards "summer things" for the two little girls was spent upon madam liberality's outfit for the seaside. there was a new dress, and a jacket "as good as new," for it was cut out of "mother's" cloth cloak and made up, with the best binding and buttons in the shop, by the village tailor. and he was bribed, in a secret visit, and with much coaxing from the little girls, to make real pockets instead of braided shams. the second best frock was compounded of two which had hitherto been very bests—madam liberality's own, eked out by "darling's" into a more fashionable fullness, and with a cape to match.

there was a sense of solid property to be derived from being able to take in at a glance the stock of [262]well-mended under-garments, half of which were generally at the wash. besides, they had been added to, and all the stockings were darned, and only one pair in the legs where it would show, below short petticoat mark.

then there was a bonnet newly turned and trimmed, and a pair and a half of new boots, for surely boots are at least half new when they have been (as the village cobbler described it in his bill) "souled and healed"?

poor little madam liberality! when she saw the things which covered her bed in their abundance, it seemed to her an outfit for a princess. and yet when her godmother asked podmore, the lady's-maid, "how is the child off for clothes?" podmore unhesitatingly replied, "she've nothing fit to be seen, ma'am," which shows how differently the same things appear in different circumstances.

podmore was a good friend to madam liberality. she had that open-handed spirit which one acquires quite naturally in a house where everything goes on on a large scale, at somebody else's expense. now madam liberality's godmother, from the very largeness of her possessions, was obliged to leave the care of them to others, in such matters as food, dress, the gardens, the stables, etc. so, like many other people in a similar case, she amused herself and [263]exercised her economical instincts by troublesome little thriftinesses, by making cheap presents, dear bargains, and so forth. she was by nature a managing woman; and when those very grand people, the butler, the housekeeper, the head-gardener, and the lady's-maid had divided her household duties among them, there was nothing left for her to be clever about, except such little matters as joining the fag-ends of the bronze sealing-wax sticks which lay in the silver inkstand on the malachite writing-table, and being good-natured at the cheapest rate at which her friends could be benefited.

madam liberality's best neckerchief had been very pretty when it was new, and would have been pretty as well as clean still if the washerwoman had not used rather too hot an iron to it, so that the blue in the check pattern was somewhat faded. and yet it had felt very smart as madam liberality drove in the carrier's cart to meet the coach at the outset of her journey. but when she sat against the rich blue leather of her godmother's coach as they drove up and down the esplanade, it was like looking at fairy jewels by daylight when they turn into faded leaves.

"is that your best neckerchief, child?" said the old lady.

[264]"yes, ma'am," blushed madam liberality,

so when they got home her godmother went to her odds-and-ends drawer.

podmore never interfered with this drawer. she was content to be despotic among the dresses, and left the old lady to faddle to her heart's content with bits of old lace and ribbon which she herself would not have condescended to wear.

the old lady fumbled them over. there were a good many half-yards of ribbon with very large patterns, but nothing really fit for madam liberality's little neck but a small indian scarf of many-coloured silk. it was old, and podmore would never have allowed her mistress to drive on the esplanade in anything so small and youthful-looking; but the colours were quite bright, and there was no doubt but that madam liberality might be provided for by a cheaper neck-ribbon. so the old lady shut the drawer, and toddled down the corridor that led to podmore's room.

she had a good general idea that podmore's perquisites were large, but perquisites seem to be a condition of valuable servants in large establishments, and then anything which could be recovered from what had already passed into podmore's room must be a kind of economy. so she resolved that podmore should "find something" for madam [265]liberality's neck.

"i never noticed it, ma'am, till i brought your shawl to the carriage," said podmore. "if i had seen it before, the young lady shouldn't have come with you so. i'll see to it, ma'am."

"thank you, podmore."

"can you spare me to go into the town this afternoon, ma'am?" added the lady's-maid. "i want some things at huckaback and woolsey's."

huckaback and woolsey were the linendrapers where madam liberality's godmother "had an account." it was one of the things on a large scale over the details of which she had no control.

"you'll be back in time to dress me?"

"oh dear, yes, ma'am." and having settled the old lady's shawl on her shoulders, and drawn out her cap-lappets, podmore returned to her work.

it was a work of kindness. the old lady might deal shabbily with her faded ribbons and her relations, but the butler, the housekeeper, and the lady's-maid did their best to keep up the credit of the family.

it was well known that madam liberality was a cousin, and podmore resolved that she should have a proper frock to go down to dessert in.

so she had been very busy making a little slip out of a few yards of blue silk which had been over and above one of the old lady's dresses, and now she [266]betook herself to the draper's to get spotted muslin to cover it and ribbons to trim it with.

and whilst madam liberality's godmother was still feeling a few twinges about the indian scarf, podmore ordered a pink neckerchief shot with white, and with pink and white fringes, to be included in the parcel.

but it was not in this way alone that podmore was a good friend to madam liberality.

she took her out walking, and let her play on the beach, and even bring home dirty weeds and shells. indeed, podmore herself was not above collecting cowries in a pill-box for her little nephews.

when mrs. podmore met acquaintances on the beach, madam liberality played alone, and these were her happiest moments. she played amongst the rotting, weed-grown stakes of an old pier, and "fancied" rooms among them—suites of rooms in which she would lodge her brothers and sister if they came to visit her, and where—with cockle-shells for teacups, and lava for vegetables, and fucus-pods for fish—they should find themselves as much enchanted as beauty in the palace of the beast.

again and again she "fancied" darling into her shore-palace, the delights of which should only be marred by the growls which she herself would utter from time to time from behind the stakes, in the [267]character of a sea-beast, and which should but enhance the moment when she would rush out and throw her arms round darling's neck and reveal herself as madam liberality.

"darling" was the pet name of madam liberality's sister—her only sister, on whom she lavished the intensest affection of a heart which was always a large one in proportion to her little body. it seemed so strange to play at any game of fancies without darling, that madam liberality could hardly realize it.

she might be preparing by herself a larger treat than usual for the others; but it was incredible that no one would come after all, and that darling would never see the palace on the beach, and the state-rooms, and the limpets, and the sea-weed, and the salt-water soup, and the real fish (a small dab discarded from a herring-net) which madam liberality had got for her.

her mind was filled with day-dreams of darling's coming, and of how she would display to her all the wonders of the seashore, which would reflect almost as much credit upon her as if she had invented razor-shells and crabs. she thought so much about it that she began quite to expect it.

was it not natural that her godmother should see that she must be lonely, and ask darling to come and be with her? perhaps the old lady had already [268]done so, and the visit was to be a surprise. madam liberality could quite imagine doing a nice thing like this herself, and she hoped it so strongly that she almost came to believe in it.

every day she waited hopefully, first for the post, and then for the time when the coach came in, the hour at which she herself had arrived; but the coach brought no darling, and the post brought no letter to say that she was coming, and madam liberality's hopes were disappointed.

madam liberality was accustomed to disappointment.

from her earliest years it had been a family joke that poor madam liberality was always in ill-luck's way.

it is true that she was constantly planning; and if one builds castles, one must expect a few loose stones about one's ears now and then. but, besides this, her little hopes were constantly being frustrated by fate.

if the pigs or the hens got into the garden, madam liberality's bed was sure to be laid waste before any one came to the rescue. when a picnic or a teaparty was in store, if madam liberality did not catch cold, so as to hinder her from going, she was pretty sure to have a quinsy from fatigue or wet feet afterwards. when she had a treat she paid for [269]the pleasurable excitement by a headache, just as when she ate sweet things they gave her toothache.

but if her luck was less than other people's, her courage and good spirits were more than common. she could think with pleasure about the treat when she had forgotten the headache. one side of her little face would look fairly cheerful when the other was obliterated by a flannel bag of hot camomile flowers, and the whole was redolent of every horrible domestic remedy for toothache, from oil of cloves and creosote to a baked onion in the ear. no sufferings abated her energy for fresh exploits, or quenched the hope that cold, and damp, and fatigue would not hurt her "this time."

in the intervals of wringing out hot flannels for her own quinsy, she would amuse herself by devising a desert island expedition on a larger and possibly a damper scale than hitherto, against the time when she should be out again.

it is a very old simile, but madam liberality really was like a cork rising on the top of the very wave of ill-luck that had swallowed up her hopes. her little white face and undaunted spirit bobbed up after each mischance or malady as ready and hopeful as ever.

though her day-dream about darling and the shore palace was constantly disappointed, this did not [270]hinder her from indulging new hopes and fancies in another place to which she went with podmore; a place which was filled with wonders of a different kind from the treasures of the palace on the shore.

it was called the bazaar. it would be a very long business to say what was in it. but amongst other things there were foreign cage-birds, musical-boxes, and camp-stools, and baskets, and polished pebbles, and paper patterns, and a little ladies' and children's millinery, and a good deal of mock jewellery, and some very bad soaps and scents, and some very good children's toys.

it was madam liberality's godmother who first took her to the bazaar. a titled lady of her acquaintance had heard that wire flower-baskets of a certain shape could be bought in the bazaar cheaper (by two-pence-halfpenny each) than in london; and after writing to her friend to ascertain the truth of the statement, she wrote again to authorize her to purchase three on her behalf. so madam liberality's godmother ordered out the blue carriage and pair, and drove with her little cousin to the bazaar.

and as they came out, followed by a bearded man, bowing very low, and carrying the wire baskets, madam liberality's godmother stopped near the toy-stall to button her glove. and when she had buttoned it (which took a long time, because her [271]hands were stout, and podmore generally did it with a hook), she said to madam liberality, "now, child, i want to tell you that if you are very good whilst you are with me, and podmore gives me a good report of you, i will bring you here before you go home, and buy you a present."

madam liberality's heart danced with delight. she wished her godmother would stand by the toy-stall for an hour, that she might see what she most hoped the present would be. but the footman tucked them into the carriage, and the bearded man bowed himself back into the bazaar, and they drove home. then madam liberality's godmother directed the butler to dispatch the wire baskets to her ladyship, which he did by coach. and her ladyship's butler paid the carriage, and tipped the man who brought the parcel from the coach-office, and charged these items in his account. and her ladyship wrote a long letter of thanks to madam liberality's godmother for her kindness in saving her unnecessary expense.

the old lady did not go to the bazaar again for some time, but madam liberality went there with podmore. she looked at the toys and wondered which of them might one day be her very own. the white china tea-service with the green rim, big enough to make real tea in, was too good to be hoped for, but there were tin tea-sets where the lids would come off, [272]and wooden ones where they were stuck on; and there were all manner of toys that would be invaluable for all kinds of nursery games and fancies.

they helped a "fancy" of madam liberality even then. she used to stand by the toy-stall, and fancy that she was as rich as her godmother, and was going to give christmas-boxes to her brothers and sister, and her amusement was to choose, though she could not buy them.

out of this came a deep mortification. she had been playing at this fancy one afternoon, and having rather confused herself by changing her mind about the toys, she went through her final list in an undertone, to get it clearly into her head. the shopman was serving a lady, and madam liberality thought he could not hear her as she murmured, "the china tea-set, the box of beasts, the doll's furniture for darling," etc., etc. but the shopman's hearing was very acute, and he darted forward, crying, "the china tea-set, did you say, miss?"

the blood rushed up to poor madam liberality's face till it seemed to choke her, and the lady, whom the shopman had been serving, said kindly, "i think the little girl said the box of beasts."

madam liberality hoped it was a dream, but having pinched herself, she found that it was not.

her mother had often said to her, "when you [273]can't think what to say, tell the truth." it was not a very easy rule, but madam liberality went by it.

"i don't want anything, thank you," said she; "at least, i mean i have no money to buy anything with: i was only counting the things i should like to get if i had."

and then, as the floor of the bazaar would not open and swallow her up, she ran away, with her red face and her empty pocket, to shelter herself with podmore at the mock-jewellery stall, and she did not go to the bazaar any more.

once again disappointment was in store for madam liberality. the end of her visit came, and her godmother's promise seemed to be forgotten. but the-night before her departure, the old lady came into her room and said,

"i couldn't take you with me to-day, child, but i didn't forget my promise. podmore says you've been very good, and so i've brought you a present. a very useful one, i hope," added the old lady, in a tone as if she were congratulating herself upon her good sense. "and tell catherine—that's your mother, child—with my love, always to have you dressed for the evening. i like to see children come in to dessert, when they have good manners—which i must say you have; besides, it keeps the nurses up to their work."

and then she drew out from its paper a little frock [274]of pink mousseline-de-laine, very prettily tacked together by the young woman at the millinery-stall, and very cheap for its gay appearance.

down came all madam liberality's visions in connection with the toy-stall: but she consoled herself that night with picturing darling's delight when she gave her (as she meant to give her) the pink dress.

she had another source of comfort and anticipation—the scallop-shells.

but this requires to be explained. the greatest prize which madam liberality had gained from her wanderings by the seashore was a complete scallop-shell. when washed the double shell was as clean and as pretty as any china muffin-dish with a round top; and now her ambition was to get four more, and thus to have a service for doll's feasts which should far surpass the oyster-shells. she was talking about this to podmore one day when they were picking cowries together, and podmore cried, "why, this little girl would get you them, miss, i'll be bound!"

she was a bare-footed little girl, who sold pebbles and seaweed, and salt water for sponging with, and she had undertaken to get the scallop-shells, and had run off to pick seaweed out of a newly landed net before madam liberality could say "thank you."

she heard no more of the shells, however, until the day before she went away, when the butler met [275]her as she came indoors, and told her that the little girl was waiting. and it was not till madam liberality saw the scallop-shells lying clean and pink in a cotton handkerchief that she remembered that she had no money to pay for them.

here was another occasion for painful truthtelling! but to make humiliating confession before the butler seemed almost beyond even madam liberality's moral courage. he went back to his pantry, however, and she pulled off her pretty pink neckerchief and said,

"i am very sorry, little girl, but i've got no money of my own; but if you would like this instead—" and the little girl seemed quite pleased with her bargain, and ran hastily off, as if afraid that the young lady would change her mind.

and this was how madam liberality got her scallop-shells.

it may seem strange that madam liberality should ever have been accused of meanness, and yet her eldest brother did once shake his head at her and say, "you're the most meanest and the generoustest person i ever knew!" and madam liberality wept over the accusation, although her brother was then too young to form either his words or his opinions correctly.

but it was the touch of truth in it which made [276]madam liberality cry. to the end of their lives tom and she were alike and yet different in this matter. madam liberality saved, and pinched, and planned, and then gave away, and tom gave away without the pinching and saving. this sounds much handsomer, and it was poor tom's misfortune that he always believed it to be so; though he gave away what did not belong to him, and fell back for the supply of his own pretty numerous wants upon other people, not forgetting madam liberality.

painful experience convinced madam liberality in the end that his way was a wrong one, but she had her doubts many times in her life whether there were not something unhandsome in her own decided talent for economy. not that economy was always pleasant to her. when people are very poor for their position in life, they can only keep out of debt by stinting on many occasions when stinting is very painful to a liberal spirit. and it requires a sterner virtue than good-nature to hold fast the truth that it is nobler to be shabby and honest than to do things handsomely in debt.

but long before tom had a bill even for bull's-eyes and gibraltar rock, madam liberality was pinching and plotting, and saving bits of coloured paper and ends of ribbon, with a thriftiness which seemed to justify tom's view of her character.

[277]

the object of these savings was twofold: birthday presents and christmas-boxes. they were the chief cares and triumphs of madam liberality's childhood. it was with the next birthday or the approaching christmas in view that she saved her pence instead of spending them, but she so seldom had any money that she chiefly relied on her own ingenuity. year by year it became more difficult to make anything which would "do for a boy;" but it was easy to please darling, and "mother's" unabated appreciation of pincushions, and of needle-books made out of old cards, was most satisfactory.

to break the mystery in which it always pleased madam liberality to shroud her small preparations, was to give her dire offence. as a rule, the others respected this caprice, and would even feign a little more surprise than they felt, upon occasion. but if during her preparations she had given umbrage to one of the boys, her retreat was soon invaded with cries of—"ah! i see you, making birthday presents out of nothing and a quarter of a yard of ribbon!" or—"there you are! at it again, with two old visiting cards and a ha'porth of flannel!" and only darling's tenderest kisses could appease madam liberality's wrath and dry her tears.

she had never made a grander project for christmas, or had greater difficulty in carrying it out, than [278]in the winter which followed her visit to the seaside. it was in the house of her cousin that she had first heard of christmas-trees, and to surprise the others with a christmas-tree she was quite resolved. but as the time drew near, poor madam liberality was almost in despair about her presents, and this was doubly provoking, because a nice little fir-tree had been promised her. there was no blinking the fact that "mother" had been provided with pincushions to repletion. and most of these made the needles rusty, from being stuffed with damp pig-meal, when the pigs and the pincushions were both being fattened for christmas.

madam liberality sat with her little pale face on her hand and her slate before her, making her calculations. she wondered what emery-powder cost. supposing it to be very cheap, and that she could get a quarter of a pound for "next to nothing," how useful a present might be made for "mother" in the shape of an emery pincushion, to counteract the evil effects of the pig-meal ones! it would be a novelty even to darling, especially if hers were made by glueing a tiny bag of emery into the mouth of a "boiled fowl cowry." madam liberality had seen such a pincushion in podmore's work-basket. she had a shell of the kind, and the village carpenter would always let her put a stick into his glue-pot if she went to the shop.

[279]

but then, if emery were only a penny a pound, madam liberality had not a farthing to buy a quarter of a pound with. as she thought of this her brow contracted, partly with vexation, and partly because of a jumping pain in a big tooth, which, either from much illness or many medicines, or both, was now but the wreck of what a tooth should be. but as the toothache grew worse, a new hope dawned upon madam liberality. perhaps one of her troubles would mend the other!

being very tender-hearted over children's sufferings, it was her mother's custom to bribe rather than coerce when teeth had to be taken out. the fixed scale of reward was sixpence for a tooth without fangs, and a shilling for one with them. if pain were any evidence, this tooth certainly had fangs. but one does not have a tooth taken out if one can avoid it, and madam liberality bore bad nights and painful days till they could be endured no longer; and then, because she knew it distressed her mother to be present, she went alone to the doctor's house to ask him to take out her tooth.

the doctor was a very kind old man, and he did his best, so we will not say anything about his antique instruments, or the number of times he tied a pocket-handkerchief round an awful-looking claw, and put [280]both into madam liberality's mouth without effect.

at last he said he had got the tooth out, and he wrapped it in paper, and gave it to madam liberality, who, having thought that it was her head he had extracted from its socket, was relieved to get away.

as she ran home she began to plan how to lay out her shilling for the best, and when she was nearly there she opened the bit of paper to look at her enemy, and it had no fangs!

"i'm sure it was more than a sixpenny one," she sobbed; "i believe he has left them in."

it involved more than the loss of half the funds she had reckoned upon. perhaps this dreadful pain would go on even on christmas day. her first thought was to carry her tears to her mother; her second that, if she only could be brave enough to have the fangs taken out, she might spare mother all distress about it till it was over, when she would certainly like her sufferings to be known and sympathized with. she knew well that courage does not come with waiting, and making a desperate rally of stout-heartedness, she ran back to the doctor.

he had gone out, but his assistant was in. he looked at madam liberality's mouth, and said that the fangs were certainly left in and would be much better out.

"would it hurt very much?" asked madam liberality, trembling.

[281]

the assistant blinked the question of "hurting."

"i think i could do it," said he, "if you could sit still. not if you were jumping about."

"i will sit still," said madam liberality.

"the boy shall hold your head," said the assistant.

but madam liberality rebelled; she could screw up her sensitive nerves to endure the pain, but not to be coerced by "the boy."

"i give you my word of honour i will sit still," said she, with plaintive earnestness.

and the assistant (who had just remembered that the boy was out with the gig) said, "very well, miss."

we need not dwell upon the next few seconds. the assistant kept his word, and madam liberality kept hers. she sat still, and went on sitting still after the operation was over till the assistant became alarmed, and revived her by pouring some choking stuff down her throat. after which she staggered to her feet and put out her hand and thanked him.

he was a strong, rough, good-natured young man, and little madam liberality's pale face and politeness touched him.

"you're the bravest little lady i ever knew," he said kindly; "and you keep your word like a queen. there's some stuff to put to the place, and there's [282]sixpence, miss, if you'll take it, to buy lollipops with. you'll be able to eat them now."

after which he gave her an old pill-box to carry the fragments of her tooth in, and it was labelled "three to be taken at bed-time."

madam liberality staggered home, very giddy, but very happy. moralists say a great deal about pain treading so very closely on the heels of pleasure in this life, but they are not always wise or grateful enough to speak of the pleasure which springs out of pain. and yet there is a bliss which comes just when pain has ceased, whose rapture rivals even the high happiness of unbroken health; and there is a keen relish about small pleasures hardly earned, in which the full measure of those who can afford anything they want is sometimes lacking.

relief is certainly one of the most delicious sensations which poor humanity, can enjoy! madam liberality enjoyed it to the full, and she had more happiness yet in her cup, i fear praise was very pleasant to her, and the assistant had praised her, not undeservedly, and she knew that further praise was in store from the dearest source of approbation—from her mother. ah! how pleased she would be! and so would darling, who always cried when madam liberality was in great pain.

and this was only the beginning of pleasures. [283]the sixpence would amply provide "goodies" for the christmas-tree, and much might be done with the forthcoming shilling. and if her conduct on the present occasion would not support a request for a few ends of candles from the drawing-room candle-sticks, what profit would there be in being a heroine?

when her mother gave her two shillings instead of one, madam liberality felt in honour bound to say that she had already been rewarded with sixpence; but her mother only said,

"you quite deserved it, i'm sure," and she found herself in possession of no less than half-a-crown.

and now it is sad to relate that misfortune again overtook madam liberality. all the next day she longed to go into the village to buy sweetmeats, but it snowed and rained, and was bitterly cold, and she could not.

just about dusk the weather slightly cleared up, and she picked her way through the melting snow to the shop. her purchases were most satisfactory. how the boys would enjoy them! madam liberality enjoyed them already, though her face was still sore, and the pain had spread to her throat, and though her ideas seemed unusually brilliant, and her body pleasantly languid, which, added to a peculiar chill trembling of the knees—generally forewarned her of a [284]coming quinsy. but warnings were thrown away upon madam liberality's obdurate hopefulness.

just now she could think of nothing but the coming christmas-tree. she hid the sweetmeats, and put her hand into her pocket for the two shillings, the exact outlay of which, in the neighbouring town, by means of the carrier, she had already arranged. but—the two shillings were gone! how she had lost them madam liberality had no idea.

she trudged through the dirty snow once more to the shop, and the counter was examined, and old goody looked under the flour scales and in the big chinks of the stone floor. but the shillings were not there, and madam liberality kept her eyes on the pavement as she ran home, with as little result. moreover, it was nearly dark.

it snowed heavily all night, and madam liberality slept very little from pain and anxiety; but this did not deter her from going out with the first daylight in the morning to rake among the snow near the door, although her throat was sore beyond concealment, her jaws stiff, and the pleasant languor and quick-wittedness had given way to restless fever.

her conscience did prick her a little for the anxiety she was bringing upon her mother (her own sufferings she never forecast); but she could not give up her christmas-tree without a struggle, and she [285]hoped by a few familiar remedies to drive back the threatened illness.

meanwhile, if the shillings were not found before eleven o'clock it would be too late to send to the town shop by the carrier. but they were not found, and the old hooded cart rumbled away without them.

it was christmas eve. the boys were bustling about with holly. darling was perched on a very high chair in the kitchen, picking raisins in the most honourable manner, without eating one, and madam liberality ought to have been the happiest of all.

even now she dried her tears, and made the best of her ill-luck. the sweetmeats were very good; and it was yet in her power to please the others, though by a sacrifice from which she had shrunk. she could divide her scallop-shells among them. it was economy—economy of resources—which made her hesitate. separated—they would please the boys once, and then be lost. kept together in her own possession—they would be a constant source of triumph for herself, and of treats for her brothers and sister.

meanwhile, she would gargle her throat with salt and water. as she crept up-stairs with this purpose, she met her mother.

madam liberality had not looked in the looking-glass lately, so she did not understand her mother's exclamation of distress when they met. her face [286]was perfectly white, except where dark marks lay under her eyes, and her small lips formed between them the rigid line of pain. it was impossible to hold out any longer, and madam liberality broke down and poured forth all her woes.

"i'll put my feet in hot water, and do anything you like, mother dear," said she, "if only you'll let me try and have a tree, and keep it secret from the others. i do so want to surprise them."

"if you'll go to your room, my darling, and do as i tell you, i'll keep your secret, and help you with your tree," said her mother. "don't cry, my child, don't cry; it's so bad for your throat. i think i can find you some beads to make a necklace for darling, and three pencils for the boys, and some paper which you can cut up into drawing-books for them."

a little hope went a long way with madam liberality, and she began to take heart. at the same time she felt her illness more keenly now there was no need for concealing it. she sat over the fire and inhaled steam from an old teapot, and threaded beads, and hoped she would be allowed to go to church next day, and to preside at her christmas-tree afterwards.

in the afternoon her throat grew rapidly worse. she had begged—almost impatiently—that darling would not leave the christmas preparations to sit with her, and as talking was bad for her, and as she [287]had secret preparations to make on her own account, her mother had supported her wish to be left alone.

but when it grew dusk, and the drawing-books were finished, madam liberality felt lonely. she put a shawl round her head, and went to the window. there was not much to be seen. the fields were deeply buried in snow, and looked like great white feather beds, shaken up unequally against the hedges. the road was covered so deeply that she could hardly have traced it, if she had not known where it was. how dark the old church tower looked amid so much whiteness!

and the snow-flakes fell like sugar-plums among the black trees. one could almost hear the keen wind rustling through the bending sedges by the pond, where the ice looked quite "safe" now. madam liberality hoped she would be able to get out before this fine frost was over. she knew of an old plank which would make an admirable sledge, and she had a plan for the grandest of winter games all ready in her head. it was to be called arctic discovery—and she was to be the chief discoverer.

as she fancied herself—starving but scientific, chilled to the bone, yet undaunted—discovering a north-west passage at the upper end of the goose pond, the clock struck three from the old church tower. madam liberality heard it with a pang. at [288]three o'clock—if he had had her shillings—she would have been expecting the return of the carrier, with the presents for her christmas-tree.

even as she thought about it, the old hooded waggon came lumbering down among the snow-drifts in the lane. there was a bunch of mistletoe at the head, and the old carrier went before the horse, and the dog went before the carrier. and they were all three up to their knees in snow, and all three had their noses down, as much as to say, "such is life; but we must struggle on."

poor madam liberality! the sight of the waggon and the mistletoe overwhelmed her. it only made matters worse to see the waggon come towards the house. she rather wondered what the carrier was bringing; but whatever it was, it was not the toys.

she went back to her seat by the fire, and cried bitterly; and, as she cried, the ball in her throat seemed to grow larger, till she could hardly breathe. she was glad when the door opened, and her mother's kind face looked in.

"is darling here?" she asked.

"no, mother," said madam liberality huskily.

"then you may bring it in," said her mother to some one outside, and the servant appeared, carrying a wooden box, which she put down before madam liberality, and then withdrew. "now don't speak," [289]said her mother, "it is bad for you, and your eyes have asked fifty questions already, my child. where did the box come from? the carrier brought it. who is it for? it's for you. who sent it? that i don't know. what is inside? i thought you would like to be the first to see. my idea is that perhaps your godmother has sent you a christmas-box, and i thought that there might be things in it which would help you with your christmas-tree, so i have not told any one about it."

to the end of her life madam liberality never forgot that christmas-box. it did not come from her godmother, and the name of the giver she never knew. the first thing in it was a card, on which was written—"a christmas-box from an unknown friend;" and the second thing in it was the set of china tea-things with the green rim; and the third thing was a box of doll's furniture.

"oh, mother!" cried madam liberality, "they're the very things i was counting over in the bazaar, when the shopman heard me."

"did anybody else hear you?" asked her mother.

"there was a lady, who said, 'i think the little girl said the box of beasts.' and, oh! mother, mother! here is the box of beasts! they're not common beasts, you know—not wooden ones, painted; they're rough, something like hair. and feel the [290]old elephant's ears, they're quite leathery, and the lion has real long hair for his mane and the tip of his tail. they are such thorough beasts, oh, how the boys will like them! tom shall have the darling brown bear. i do think he is the very best beast of all; his mouth is a little open, you know, and you can see his tongue, and it's red. and, mother! the sheep are curly! and oh, what a dog! with real hair. i think i must keep the dog. and i shall make him a paper collar, and print 'faithful' on it, and let him always stand on the drawers by our bed, and he'll be darling's and my watch-dog."

happiness is sometimes very wholesome, but it does not cure a quinsy off hand. darling cried that night when the big pillow was brought out, which madam liberality always slept against in her quinsies, to keep her from choking. she did not know of that consolatory christmas-box in the cupboard.

on christmas day madam liberality was speechless. the quinsy had progressed very rapidly.

"it generally breaks the day i have to write on my slate," madam liberality wrote, looking up at her mother with piteous eyes.

she was conscious that she had been greatly to blame for what she was suffering, and was anxious to "behave well about it" as an atonement. she begged—on her slate—that no one would stay away from [291]church on her account, but her mother would not leave her.

"and now the others are gone," said mother, "since you won't let the christmas-tree be put off, i propose that we have it up, and i dress it under your orders, whilst the others are out, and then it can be moved into the little book-room, all ready for to-night."

madam liberality nodded like a china mandarin.

"but you are in sad pain, i fear?" said her mother,

"one can't have everything," wrote madam liberality on her slate. many illnesses had made her a very philosophical little woman; and, indeed, if the quinsy broke and she were at ease, the combination of good things would be more than any one could reasonably expect, even at christmas.

every beast was labelled, and hung up by her orders. the box of furniture was addressed to herself and darling, as a joint possession, and the sweetmeats were tied in bags of muslin. the tree looked charming. the very angel at the top seemed proud of it.

"i'll leave the tea-things up-stairs," said mother.

but madam liberality shook her head vigorously. she had been making up her mind, as she sat steaming over the old teapot; and now she wrote on her slate, "put a white cloth round the tub, and put out [292]the tea-things like a tea-party, and put a ticket in the slop-basin—for darling. with very, very best love. make the last 'very' very big."

madam liberality's mother nodded, but she was printing a ticket; much too large a ticket, however, to go into the green and white slop-basin. when it was done she hung it on the tree, under the angel. the inscription was—from madam liberality.

when supper was over, she came up to madam liberality's room, and said,

"now, my dear, if you like to change your mind and put off the tree till you are better, i will say nothing about it."

but madam liberality shook her head more vehemently than before, and her mother smiled and went away.

madam liberality strained her ears. the book-room door opened—she knew the voice of the handle—there was a rush and a noise, but it died away into the room. the tears broke down madam liberality's cheeks. it was hard not to be there now. then there was a patter up the stairs, and flying steps along the landing, and madam liberality's door was opened by darling. she was dressed in the pink dress, and her cheeks were pinker still, and her eyes full of tears. and she threw [293]herself at madam liberality's feet, crying,

"oh how good, how very good you are!"

at this moment a roar came up from below, and madam liberality wrote,

"what is it?" and then dropped the slate to clutch the arms of her chair, for the pain was becoming almost intolerable. before darling could open the door her mother came in, and darling repeated the question,

"what is it?"

but at this moment the reply came from below, in tom's loudest tones. it rang through the house, and up into the bedroom.

"three cheers for madam liberality! hip, hip, hooray!"

the extremes of pleasure and of pain seemed to meet in madam liberality's little head. but overwhelming gratification got the upper hand, and, forgetting even her quinsy, she tried to speak, and after a brief struggle she said, with tolerable distinctness,

"tell tom i am very much obliged to him."

but what they did tell tom was that the quinsy had broken, on which he gave three cheers more.