at daybreak mlle de saint-geneix was awakened by the hens clucking and scratching around her. she rose and walked on, looking at the doors of the houses as they opened one by one, and saying to herself with reason that in a hamlet so small and stowed so close among the rocks, she could not stray far without finding the face she sought.
but here a difficulty presented itself. was she sure of recognizing this nurse, whom she had never seen since she was ten years old? she had justine's voice and accent in her memory far more clearly than her face. she followed the ups and downs of the road as far as the last house behind the rock, and there she saw written on the door "peyraque lanion." a horseshoe nailed over this sign indicated his occupation of farrier.
justine had risen first, as was her custom, while the closed calico curtains of the bed shaded the last nap of m. peyraque. the principal apartment on this ground-floor showed the comfort of a well-to-do household, and the mark of this easy competence consisted particularly in the garniture of the ceiling; which was trellised with racks of monumental supplies of vegetables and divers rural commodities; but the strict cleanliness, a rare deviation from the customs of the country, removed everything which might offend the eye or the sense of smell.
justine was lighting her fire, and preparing to make the soup her husband was to find smoking hot on his awakening, when she saw mlle de saint-geneix come in with her hood on, carrying her bundle. she cast a look of perplexity upon the stranger, and said at last, "what have you to sell?"
caroline, hearing peyraque snore behind his curtain, put her finger to her lips and threw her hood back on her shoulders. justine stood still an instant, suppressed a cry of joy, and opened her stout arms with rapture. she had recognized her child. "come, come!" said she, leading her toward a little break-neck staircase at the farther end of the entry, "your room is all ready. we have been hoping for you every day this year." and she called to her husband, "get up, peyraque, at once, and shut the door. here is news, o, such good news!"
the little chamber, whitewashed and furnished in rustic fashion, was, like the lower room, of irreproachable neatness. the view was magnificent; and blossoming fruit-trees came up to the level of the window. "it is a paradise!" exclaimed caroline to the good woman. "it only needs a little fire, which you are going to make for me. i am cold and hungry, but happy to see you and be with you. i must tell you something, first of all. i don't want it known here who i am. my reasons are good ones, and you shall know them; they will meet your approval. let us begin by agreeing on our facts; you have lived at brioude?"
"yes; i was in service there before i was married."
"brioude is a long way from here. is there any one from that country in lantriac?"
"no one; and strangers never come. there is no road except for ox-carts."
"i saw that myself. then you can pass me off for some one you knew at brioude?"
"very easily,—the daughter of my old mistress."
"no; i'm not to be a young lady."
"but she was not a young lady; she was a little tradeswoman."
"that's it; but i must have an occupation."
"wait a minute!—that's easy enough. be a pedler of small wares, like the one i am speaking of."
"but then i shall have to sell something."
"i'll see to that. besides, you are supposed to have made your rounds, and i shall have detained you here as a matter of friendship; for you are going to stay?"
"a month, at least."
"you must stay always. we will find you something to do, never fear. but, let's see; what shall be your name?"
"charlette; you called me that when i was a little thing; so it will not give you any trouble. i am supposed to be a widow, and you must say 'thou' to me."
"just as i used to. good! it is agreed. but how will you dress, my dear charlette?"
"like this. you see it's not luxurious."
"it's not very rich, to be sure; though it will pass; but this lovely blond hair of yours will attract the eye; and a city bonnet will be a wonder."
"i thought of that; so i bought at brioude one of the head-dresses worn there. i have it in my travelling-bag, and i'm going to don my costume at once for fear of a surprise."
"then i'll go at once and get you some breakfast. you will eat with peyraque, i take it?"
"and with you, i hope. to-morrow i mean to help you about the house and in the kitchen."
"o, you may pretend to do that! i don't want you to spoil those little hands i used to take such care of. now i'm going to see if peyraque is up, and let him know what has been agreed upon; then you must tell us why there is need of all this mystery."
while talking, justine had kindled the wood already in the fireplace. she had filled the pitchers with pure cold water, which had trickled from the rock, coming through an earthen pipe to the toilet-table of her little chamber, and then down into the kitchen sink. this was an invention of peyraque's, who prided himself oh having ideas of his own.
half an hour afterward caroline, whose simple attire marked no particular station, put up her fine hair under the little head-dress from brioude, less scantily contrived, and more prettily curved than the round dish-cover—which, like it, is of black felt trimmed with velvet—worn by the women of velay. it was all in vain; she was still charming in spite of the weariness that dimmed the large eyes "green like the sea," formerly so bepraised by the marchioness.
the soup of rice and potatoes was quickly served in a small room where peyraque at odd moments did a little carpenter-work. the good man thought this an unsuitable reception, and wanted to sweep away the shavings. "on the contrary," said his wife, spreading the chips and sawdust over the floor, "you don't understand at all! she will think it a pretty carpet. o you don't know her yet! she is a daughter of the good providence, this one is!"
caroline made acquaintance with peyraque by embracing him. he was a man of about sixty years, still very robust though thin, of medium height, and plain-featured, like most of the mountaineers in this region; but that his austere and even stern countenance bore the stamp of integrity was evident at the first glance. his rare smile was remarkably genial. you saw in it real affection and sincerity, which were all the more unmistakable from the fact that they were never lavished demonstratively.
justine also had rigid features, and a blunt way of speaking. she was a strong generous character. an earnest roman catholic, she respected the silence of her husband who was of protestant descent, nominally converted indeed, but a free-thinker if there ever was one. caroline knew these circumstances and was touched to see the delicate respect which this superior woman knew how to weave into her love for her husband. it must be remembered that mlle de saint-geneix, the daughter of a very weak man, and the sister of an inefficient woman, owed the great courage she possessed first to her mother, who was of cévenol parentage, and afterward to the ideas justine had given her in early life. she perceived this very clearly when she found herself seated between this old couple whose precise language and notions caused her neither fear nor surprise. it seemed as if the milk of her mountain nurse had passed into her whole being, and as if she were there in the presence of types with which she had already been made familiar in some previous existence.
"my friends," said she, when justine had brought her the cream of the dessert, while peyraque washed down his soup with a draught of hot wine, followed up before long with a draught of black coffee, "i promised to tell you my story and here it is in few words. one of the sons of my old lady had some idea of marrying me."
"ah, indeed! that might well be," said justine.
"you are right, because our characters and ideas are alike. any one ought to have foreseen that, and i myself first of all."
"and the mother, too!" said peyraque.
"well, no one seems to have thought of it; and the son surprised and even angered the mother when he told her he loved me."
"and you?" asked justine.
"i—i—why he never told me of it at all; and, as i knew i was not noble enough or wealthy enough for him, i should never have allowed him to think of it."
"yes, that's right!" returned peyraque.
"and it's true!" added justine.
"then i saw i could not stay a day longer, and at the first angry word from the mother i went away without seeing the son again; but the son would have hurried after me if i had remained with my sister. the marchioness wanted me to stay a little to have an explanation with him, to tell him i did not love him—"
"that is what ought to have been done, perhaps," said peyraque.
caroline was forcibly impressed by the austere logic of the peasant. "yes, unquestionably," thought she, "my courage ought to have been pushed thus far."
and, as she still kept silence, the nurse, enlightened by the penetration of a loving heart, said to her husband, sharply, "stop talking there, you! how you run on! how do you know she did n't love him, this poor child?"
"ah! that, that is another thing," replied peyraque, bowing his serious, thoughtful head, which now looked nobler for the sense of delicate pity expressed upon his face.
caroline was touched in an unspeakable degree by the straightforwardness of this simple friendship, which with one word touched the sorest spot in her wound. what she had not had strength or confidence to tell her sister, she was impelled not to disguise from these hearts, so thoroughly true and so able to read her own. "well, my friends, you are right," said she, taking their hands. "i should not perhaps have been able to lie to you, for, in spite of myself, i—i do love him!"
hardly had she spoken the words, when she was seized with terror, and looked around as if urbain might have been there to hear them; then she burst into tears at the thought that he never would hear them.
"courage, my daughter, the lord will aid you," exclaimed peyraque, rising.
"and we will aid you, too," said justine, embracing her. "we will hide you, we will love you, we will pray for you!"
she led her back to her room, undressed her, and made her lie down, with motherly care that she should be warm and not see the sun shining in too early on her bed. then she went down to apprise her neighbors of the arrival from brioude of a person named charlette, to answer all their questions, mentioning her paleness and her beauty that these might not strike them too forcibly. she took pains to tell them also that the speech of brioude was not at all like that of the mountains, so charlette would be unable to talk with them. "ah! the poor creature," replied the gossips. "she will find it very dull and tiresome with us!"
a week later, after having informed her sister, in the proper time and place, of her safe arrival, caroline gave her some detailed account of her new mode of life. it must not be forgotten that, hiding her actual sorrow, she was trying to reassure her sister, and to divert her own thoughts by affecting an independence far from being so complete or so real as it seemed.
"you can form no idea of the care they take of me, these peyraques. justine is always the same noble woman, with a heart like an angel's, whom you know, and whom our father could not bear to see going away from us. so it is saying more than a little to declare that her husband is worthy of her. he has even more intelligence, although he is slower of comprehension; but what he does understand is as if engraved on marble without spot or blemish. i assure you i am not weary a single moment with them. i could be alone much more than i am, for my little room is free from all intrusion of servants, and i can dream without being disturbed; but i rarely feel the need of this: i am contented among these worthy people, i am conscious of being loved.
"they have, besides, something of intellectual life, like most of the people here. they inquire about things in the world without; and it is astonishing to find in a kind of blind alley, among such wild mountains, a peasantry with so many notions foreign to their own necessities and habits. their children, their neighbors, and their friends impress me as active, intelligent, and honest, while peyraque tells me it is the same in villages farther still from all civilization.
"as an offset to this, the dwellers in the little groups of cottages scattered over the mountain, those who are only peasants, shepherds, or laborers, live in an apathy beyond all comprehension. the other day i asked a woman the name of a river which formed a magnificent cascade not more than a hundred paces from her house. 'that is water,' she replied. 'but the water has a name, has n't it?' 'i will ask my husband; i don't know myself; we women always call all the rivers water.'
"the husband knew enough to tell me the names of the torrent and the cascade; but when i asked for those of the mountains on the horizon, he said he knew nothing about them, he had never been there. 'but you must have heard that those are the cévennes?'
"'perhaps so! the mézenc and the gerbier de joncs [sheaf or stack of reeds] are over there, but i don't know which they are.'
"i pointed them out to him; they are easily recognized,—mézenc, the loftiest of the peaks, and the gerbier, an elegant cone, which holds in its crater reeds and swamp-grasses. only, the good man would not even look. it was all precisely the same to him. he showed me the 'grottos of the ancient savages,' that is, a kind of gallic or celtic village hollowed out of the rock, with the same precautions that beasts of the wilderness use to conceal their dens; for you can examine this rock and follow it without discovering anything unusual unless you know the path which penetrates this labyrinth and its habitations. ah, my dear camille, am i not here a little like those 'ancient savages,' who, for fear of intrusion, hid themselves in caves and sought their peace in forgetfulness of the whole world?
"at all events, the inhabitants of la roche impress me as being the direct descendants of those poor celts, hidden in their rock, and, as it were, bound to it. i looked at the woman, with bare legs and dull eyes, who conducted us into the grottos, and asked myself whether three or four thousand years had really passed away since her ancestors took root in these stones.
"you see i go out, for prudence does not require the in-door life, which you feared for me. on the contrary, having nothing to read here, i feel the need of strolling about, and my movements surprise the good people of lantriac much less than a mysterious retreat would do. i run no risk of meeting strangers. you saw me set out in clothing that would not attract attention in the least. besides, i have a black felt hat, larger than those worn here, which shades my face quite nicely. in case of need, too, i can conceal it entirely under the brown hood i brought with me, which the capricious weather gives me an excuse for wearing in my walks. i am not just like the women of the country; but there is nothing in my appearance to create a sensation in the places where i go.
"then, too, i have a pretext for going out, which accounts for everything. justine has a little trade in small wares and gives me charge of a box whose contents i offer for sale, while peyraque, who is a farrier, busies himself with visiting sick animals. this enables me to go into the houses and observe the manners and customs of the country. i sell but little, for the women are so absorbed in their lace-making that they never mend for their husbands, their children, or themselves. here is the triumph of rags worn with pride. their devotion to their one occupation is so passionate as to exclude all material well-being and all cleanliness even, as a profane superfluity. avarice finds its account in this, and vanity also, for if justine gave me jewelry to sell i should soon have customers more eager for that than for linen and shoes.
"they produce all those marvellous black and white laces, which you have seen justine make at our house. it is wonderful to see, here among the mountains, this fairy-like work coming from the hands of these poor creatures, and the trifling sum they realize shocks the traveller. they would cheerfully give you for twenty sous what they ask twenty francs for in paris, if they were allowed to trade with the consumer; but this is strictly forbidden. under the pretext of having furnished silk, thread, and patterns, the dealer monopolizes and sets a price on their work. in vain you offer to supply the peasant-woman with materials and pay her well. the poor woman sighs, looks at the money, shakes her head, and replies that she will not risk losing the patronage of 'her master' in order to profit by the liberality of a person who will not employ her permanently, and whom she may possibly never see again. and then all these women are pious, or pretend to be so. those who are sincere have sworn by the virgin and the saints not to sell to individuals, and one is forced to honor their respect for a promise given. those who make religion a regular profession (and i see there are more such than one would suppose) are conscious of being always under the hand and beneath the eye of the priests, nuns, monks, and seminarists, with whom this country is literally sown and covered even in the most uninhabitable places. the convents have the work done; and here, as elsewhere, under conditions of trade still more lucrative than those of the dealers. you can see, in the vestibules of the churches even, the women from the village in a sort of community, sitting in a circle, making their bobbins fly as they murmur litanies or chant offices in latin; which does not, however, prevent them from gazing curiously at the passers-by and exchanging remarks, while they reply ora pro nobis to the gray, black, or blue sister who oversees the work and the psalmody.
"these women are generally kind and hospitable. their children interest me, and when i find those who are ill, i am glad to be able to point out the more simple attentions that should be given them. there is either great ignorance or great indifference on this point. maternity here is rather passionate than tender. it is as if they told you that children are created for the single purpose of learning how to suffer.
"peyraque's business, as his services are much in demand, leads us into some almost inaccessible places on the mountain, giving me a chance to see the finest landscapes in the world, for this wonderful country is like a dream,—and my own life is a strange dream also, is it not?
"our fashion of going in search of adventures is quite primitive. peyraque has a little cart, which he is pleased to denominate a carriage, because it has an awning of canvas, which somewhat ambitiously pretends to shelter us. he harnesses to this vehicle now an intrepid little mule, and now a pony, spirited but gentle, all skin and bone like its owner, but like him, too, never flinching at anything. so, while justine's eldest son, just returned from the regiment, where he has been shoeing artillery horses, continues his trade under the paternal roof, his father and i wander over hill and vale without regard to the weather. justine pretends this does me so much good that i must stay with her 'always,' and vows she will find some way for me to earn our livelihood without humiliating myself to serve any great lady.
"alas! i never felt humiliated so long as i knew i was loved; and then i loved so sincerely in return! do you know it saddens me no longer to receive a blessing every morning from that poor old marchioness, and not only so, but i am quite uneasy, alarmed about her even, as if i felt she could not live without me? god grant she may soon forget me, that my place may already have been filled by one less fatal than i to her peace. but will she be cared for, morally speaking, as i cared for her? will her fanciful whims be understood, the dulness of her leisure hours charmed away, or her children spoken of as she loves to hear them spoken of? on my arrival here, i drank in the free air with long breaths; i gazed at this grand, rugged scenery which i had felt so strong a wish to know. i said to myself, 'here i am then free! i shall go where i please; i will talk as little as i please; i shall no longer write the same letter ten times a day to ten different people; i shall not live in a hot-house; i shall not breathe the sharp perfumes of flowers distilled by chemical processes, or of plants half dead on the windowsills; i shall drink from the breeze hawthorn and wild thyme in their real fragrance.' yes, i said all this to myself, and i could not rejoice. i saw my poor friend sad and lonely, perhaps weeping for having made me weep so much!
"but she chose this, and to all appearance, it was necessary. i have no right to blame her for a moment of unjust anger. the mother thought only of her son, and such a son well deserves all a mother's sacrifice. perhaps she calls me hard and ungrateful for not falling in with her plans, and i often ask myself if i ought not to have fallen in with them; but i always answer that the end would not have been attained. the marquis de v—— is not one of those men who can be sent off with a few commonplaces of cool disdain. besides, you have no right to act thus toward one who, far from declaring his passion, has surrounded you with respect and delicate affection. in vain i seek some language, half cold, half tender, which i might have used in telling him that i hold his mother's happiness and his own equally sacred: i do not find in myself the requisite tact or skill. either the real friendship i have for him would have deceived him as to my feelings, leading him to think i was sacrificing myself to a sense of duty, or my firmness would have offended him, as if i were parading a virtue whose aid he has never given me occasion to invoke. no, no! it could not be, it ought not to be.
"i have an impression that the marchioness hinted that i might tell him i had an engagement, another love. for heaven's sake, let her invent all she will now! let her sacrifice my life and that which i hold still more sacred, if need be. i have left the field clear: but, for my own part, i could never have improvised a romance for the occasion. and would he have been duped by it?
"camille, you will see him, you have doubtless already seen him again since that first visit, when you admitted it was hard for you to play your part. you say it made you very unhappy to see him; he was almost distracted—he is certainly calm now. he has so much moral strength, he will understand so well that i must never see him again? however, be on your guard! he is very keen. tell him my nature is a cold one—no, not that; he would n't believe it. but speak of my invincible pride. that is true; yes, i am proud, i feel it! and if i were not, should i deserve his affection?
"perhaps it would have been liked if i had become really unworthy of his regard,—not the mother; not she! no, never! she is too upright, too pious, too pure in heart; but the duke, i mean. now, i can recall a number of things which i did not understand, and they appear in a new light. the duke is excellent; he worships his brother. i believe his wife, who is an angel, will purify his life and thoughts; but at séval, when he told me to save his brother at any cost,—i think of it now, and i blush to think of it!
"ah, that i might be allowed to disappear, that i might be allowed to forget all! for a year i believed myself calm, worthy, happy. one day, one hour has spoiled the whole. with one word, madame de villemer has poisoned all the memories i had hoped to carry away unsoiled,—memories which now i dare not dwell upon. in truth, camille, you were right in saying, as you sometimes did, that one should not be too ingenuous, that i ventured out into life too quixotically. this will serve me as a lesson, and i will renounce friendship as well as love. i ask myself why i should not from this time onward break off all relations with a world so full of dangers and snares, why i should not accept my misery more bravely indeed than i have done. i could create some resources in this province even, remote as it is in point of civilization. i could not be a school-mistress, as justine imagined last year; the clergy have usurped everything here, and the good sisters would not let me teach, even in lantriac; but in a city i could find pupils, or i could become a book-keeper in some mercantile house.
"first of all, i must make sure of being forgotten there; but when this oblivion is complete, i must indeed take thought for our children, and i dwell upon this a little in advance. after all, be at ease. i will find something. i shall manage to conquer the malicious fates. i do not sleep, i cannot falter; you know this perfectly. you have enough to live on for two months more, and i need absolutely nothing here. do not worry, let us always trust the good god, as you, for your part, must trust the sister who loves you."
