the ridge,
berkeley, california.
october 27, 19—.
do i still read my wordsworth on my knees? well, we may as well have it out. i have foreseen this day so long and shunned it that now i meet it almost with extended hands. no, i do not read my wordsworth on my knees. my mind is filled with other things. i have not the time. i am not the herbert wace of six years gone. it is fair that you should know this; fair, also, that you should know the herbert wace of six years gone was not quite the lad you deemed him.
there is no more pathetic and terrible thing than the prejudice of love. both you and i have suffered from it. six years ago, ay, and before that, i felt and resented the growing difference between us. when under your spell, it seemed that i was born to lisp in numbers and devote myself to singing, that the world was good and all of it fit for singing. but away from you, even then, doubts faced me, and i knew in vague fashion that we lived in different worlds. at first in vague fashion, i say; and when with you again, your spell dominated me and i could not question. you were true, you were good, i argued, all that was wonderful and glorious; therefore, you were also right. you mastered me with your charm, as you were wont to master those who loved you.
but there came times when your sympathy failed me and i stood alone on outlooks i had achieved alone. there was no response from you. i could not hear your voice. i looked down upon a real world; you were caught up in a beautiful cloudland and shut away from me. possibly it was because life of itself appealed to you, while to me appealed the mechanics of life. but be it as it may, yours was a world of ideas and fancies, mine a world of things and facts.
enters here the prejudice of love. it was the lad that discovered our difference and concealed; it was the man who was blind and could not discover. there we erred, man and boy; and here, both men now, we make all well again.
let me be explicit. do you remember the passion with which i read the "intellectual development of europe?" i understood not the tithe of it, but i was thrilled. my common sense was thrilled, i suppose; but it was all very joyous, gripping hold of the tangible world for the first time. and when i came to you, warm with the glow of adventure, you looked blankly, then smiled indulgently and did not answer. you regarded my ardour complacently. a passing humour of adolescence, you thought; and i thought: "dane does not read his draper on his knees." wordsworth was great to me; draper was great also. you had no patience with him, and i know now, as i felt then, your consistent revolt against his materialistic philosophy.
only the other day you complained of a letter of mine, calling it cold and analytical. that i should be cold and analytical despite all the prodding and pressing and moulding i have received at your hands, and the hands of waring, marks only more clearly our temperamental difference; but it does not mark that one or the other of us is less a dedicated spirit. if i have[pg 19] wandered away from the warmth of poesy and become practical, have you not remained and become confirmed in all that is beautifully impractical? if i have adventured in a new world of common things, have you not lingered in the old world of great and impossible things? if i have shivered in the gray dawn of a new day, have you not crouched over the dying embers of the fire of yesterday? ah, dane, you cannot rekindle that fire. the whirl of the world scatters its ashes wide and far, like volcanic dust, to make beautiful crimson sunsets for a time and then to vanish.
none the less are you a dedicated spirit, priest that you are of a dying faith. your prayers are futile, your altars crumbling, and the light flickers and drops down into night. poetry is empty these days, empty and worthless and dead. all the old-world epic and lyric-singing will not put this very miserable earth of ours to rights. so long as the singers sing of the things of yesterday, glorifying the things of yesterday and lamenting their departure, so long will poetry be a vain thing and without avail. the old world is dead, dead and buried along with its heroes and helens and knights and ladies and tournaments and pageants. you cannot sing of the truth and wonder of to-day in terms of yesterday. and no one will listen to your singing till you sing of to-day in terms of to-day.
this is the day of the common man. do you glorify the common man? this is the day of the machine. when have you sung of the machine? the crusades are here again, not the crusades of christ but the crusades of the machine—have you found motive in them for your song? we are crusading to-day, not for the remission of sins, but for the abolition of sinning, of economic and industrial sinning. the crusade to christ's sepulchre was paltry compared with the splendour and might of our crusade to-day toward manhood. there are millions of us afoot. in the stillness of the night have you never listened to the trampling of our feet and been caught up by the glory and the romance of it? oh, dane! dane! our captains sit in council, our heroes take the field, our fighting men are buckling on their harness, our martyrs have already died, and you are blind to it, blind to it all!
we have no poets these days, and perforce we are singing with our hands. the walking delegate is a greater singer and a finer singer than you, dane kempton. the cold, analytical economist, delving in the dynamics of society, is more the prophet than you. the carpenter at his bench, the blacksmith by his forge, the boiler-maker clanging and clattering, are all warbling more sweetly than you. the sledge-wielder pours out more strength and certitude and joy in every blow than do you in your whole sheaf of songs. why, the very socialist agitator, hustled by the police on a street corner amid the jeers of the mob, has caught the romance of to-day as you have not caught it and where you have missed it. he knows life and is living. are you living, dane kempton?
forgive me. i had begun to explain and reconcile our difference. i find i am lecturing and censuring you. in defending myself, i offend. but this i wish to say: we are so made, you and i, that your function in life is to dream, mine to work. that you failed to make a dreamer of me is no cause for heartache and chagrin. what of my practical nature and analytical mind, i have generalised in my own way upon the data of life and achieved a different code from yours. yet i seek truth as passionately as you. i still believe myself to be a dedicated spirit.
and what boots it, all of it? when the last word is said, we are two men, by a thousand ties very dear to each other. there is room in our hearts for each other as there is room in the world for both of us. though we have many things not in common, yet you are my dearest friend on earth, you who have been a second father to me as well.
you have long merited this explanation, and it was cowardly of me not to have made it before. my hope is that i have been sufficiently clear for you to understand.
herbert.
