lorraine, after a delirious round of pleasure in town, returned to porthkeverne quite tired out with festivities, but declaring that she had had the time of her life.
"it will be your turn next," she said to monica, who sat on the floor while she unpacked, and demanded a circumstantial account of every hour of the gay visit. "we shall certainly have you jaunting off to london some day."
"not till i'm seventeen, perhaps," the voice was doleful, "and that's just ages to wait. daisy phillips has been to london three times, and she's only ten! she crows over me dreadfully."
"poor old cuckoo! you're a badly-used child! see what i've got for you inside this parcel."
"a japanese pencil-box! the very thing i wanted! and such a lovely one! it's nicer than anybody else's in the whole form."
"then you'll score over daisy for once!"
"rather! lorraine, you're a trump! oh, and the ducky little blue knife inside, and pink pencils! i know everybody'll want to borrow them at once, but i shan't lend them to a single soul! they're [212]too nice even to use myself. do say i'm not to lend them, and then the girls needn't call me stingy."
"all right! i absolutely forbid them to be lent. where's rosemary? i've a parcel here that may interest her. no, cuckoo! you're not to peep inside. what a paul pry you are! go and call her, and i'll show it to her myself."
somehow lorraine felt as if the little visit to london had suddenly added years to her age. it had enlarged her circle of experiences so greatly that she had begun to look on life from almost a grown-up standpoint. she had gone away, older certainly than monica, but regarded in the family category as one of "the children", and she had returned to take her place on a level with richard, donald, rodney, and rosemary. she was allowed to read richard's letters from mesopotamia, instead of only having portions retailed to her; and she was not sent out of the room now, when father and mother discussed rodney's future for those halcyon times when peace should be declared, and he should leave the air force. she began in some measure to realize her mother's daily, hourly anxiety about these boys at the front, and to understand how behind all the happiness of her daily life stood a nightmare, with a spectral hand raised ever ready to fall on those three best beloved.
trouble, which mercifully spared their own family, struck nevertheless very near. a yellow envelope arrived one day at the barton forresters' house, and aunt carrie opened it with trembling fingers and a sinking heart.
[213]"there's no answer!" she said briefly to the waiting telegraph girl. then she sat down and tried to face what the short message from the war office really conveyed. only twelve words, but it meant the hope of a family trailed in the dust. lindon, their one treasured boy, had "gone west". well, other mothers had given their dearest and best! she would offer him gladly, joyfully, on the altar of britain's glory! but her face seemed to grow suddenly shrunken, and the high colour faded from her cheeks, leaving a network of little red veins instead.
"if only she wouldn't try to be quite so brave about it!" said mrs. george forrester. "it's such a terrific effort for her to keep up like this! why, the very next day she went to the red cross hospital just as usual. she hasn't slacked a single thing. the strain must be tremendous. she absolutely worshipped that poor boy! the girls hadn't an innings in comparison with him. i admire the way she's taking it, but i'm afraid some day it will be more than she can stand, and she'll just collapse. if it had been richard, i couldn't have borne to speak of him to anybody just at first, yet she talks quite calmly of lindon. it's too much for human nature!"
uncle barton, grown suddenly ten years older, went about looking small and stooping, with a reef of wrinkles about his kind eyes. he clung to betty, whose manner had softened under the blow. of the three girls she understood him the best, and, though she was still undemonstrative, her silent consideration comforted him.
[214]lorraine, in the sanctuary of the studio by the harbour, railed at providence.
"why should lindon be taken?" she asked bitterly. "lindon—the nicest of all our cousins! oh, carina, why should a splendid hopeful young life like this be sacrificed, and poor landry be left behind? i don't understand! it seems so futile—such a waste!"
margaret stroked her hand for a moment before she answered:
"it may seem so on the face of it, but then we don't see the whole—only one side of it. perhaps the splendid useful life is wanted for work and greater development in the next world, where it can spread its spiritual wings unhampered by physical disabilities. and poor landry may be needed here, as a discipline to purge somebody's soul, or to bring kindness to a heart that might otherwise have gone unenlarged. this world is a school to train character, and, if some of us are sent on quickly into a higher form, it is because there are other lessons to learn there. don't for a moment call lindon's sacrifice 'waste'! have you ever read these lines?
'a picket frozen on duty,
a mother starved for her brood,
socrates drinking the hemlock,
and jesus on the rood;
the million, who, humble and nameless,
the straight, hard, pathway trod—
some call it consecration,
and others call it god!'"
[215]there was one person who, lorraine suspected, was grieving for lindon more than she would allow anybody to imagine. rosemary had always been fond of this particular cousin, and, between the day-dreams of dukes and generals who were to sue for her sister's hand, it had sometimes occurred to lorraine that a far more ordinary and commonplace romance might be enacted under her eyes near at home. lindon had been wont to come to the house far more frequently than elsie, betty or vivien; he had always enjoyed rosemary's singing, and had given her his photo in a locket before he went away. he had written to her often from the front, and though there had been no hint of such a thing as an engagement, it had been apparent to anyone not absolutely blind that they were interested in each other. it is perhaps much harder for a girl, in such circumstances, to lose her lover, than for one who is definitely engaged, and can claim open sympathy for her sorrow. rosemary felt that she could not talk about lindon to elsie, betty and vivien. they had always been rather jealous of his preference for her, and had resented his frequent visits to pendlehurst. they did not know about the locket or the letters. she kissed uncle barton, however, with extra affection, and he responded so warmly, holding her arm as they walked down the garden, that she somehow thought he understood.
so rosemary gulped back this trouble as she had borne her disappointment about the college [216]of music, and flung herself into that universal panacea for heart-breaks—work for the red cross. she slaved at scullery-duty three mornings a week at the hospital, and put in alternate afternoons rolling bandages at the depot. she would have given up her whole time to either, but that her mother would not allow.
"you're all eyes, child!" she commented. "you must get out into the fresh air this lovely weather, and put some roses into your cheeks. i shall give you a tonic. you look like a canary that's been moulting."
privately, rosemary felt as if her heart had been moulting, and she had not yet had time to grow her new spiritual feathers. the fact that anybody was noticing, however, made her brace up. she had no wish to pose as a sentimentalist. she swallowed the tonic dutifully, took the prescribed daily walk, and even, with a great effort, practised the piano. she could not yet bring herself to touch her songs—the remembrance of signor arezzo's verdict was still too raw.
one glorious beautiful afternoon saw rosemary wending her way up the hill to the castletons. lorraine had promised to send a paper pattern to claudia, but had been at home all day with a violent headache, so rosemary had volunteered to walk to windy howe after tea and take it. she went by a short cut through the fields, and approached the house by way of the orchard. the apple-trees were in full blossom; the lovely pink bloom stood out against the blue of the afternoon [217]sky in a delicate maze of colour too subtle for even the most cunning artist hand to reproduce. mr. castleton's sketch, left on its easel under the hedge, and splotched with dabs of rose madder and payne's grey, gave only the faintest impression of the fairy scene. clumps of primroses bloomed among the grass, and a thrush, on the tip-top of a hawthorn bough, trilled in rivalry with the blackbird whose nest was in the old pear-tree. they were not the only musicians, however. somebody had opened the gate from the garden and was walking leisurely down the orchard—somebody in a light cotton dress, with the sunshine gleaming on her golden hair. she came slowly, and sang as she walked, sang like the blackbird and the thrush, for sheer enjoyment of the glory of the spring day. the clear high notes went thrilling through the air with all the freshness and sweetness of the birds' tones.
rosemary, unnoticed, stood aside to watch and listen, as claudia, still warbling on high a, stopped under an apple-tree to feed a coopful of chickens with some bread she had brought. the girl's beautiful face and figure against the apple-blossom background and the blue sky made a picture worthy of the brush of an academician.
"heavens!" thought rosemary. "what a voice! if signor arezzo could hear that, now, he'd consider it worth training. it has all the glorious tone and volume that i lack. and so pure and high! i should think she could take c! the girl looks a singer. with that magnificent [218]chest and throat she ought to be able to bring out her notes. she has such a splendid physique. she's a lovely girl, too. what a sensation she'd make on a concert platform!"
aloud, however, rosemary simply said, "good afternoon!" presented the paper pattern, explained that lorraine had a headache, and asked if claudia were fond of singing. claudia flushed crimson.
"oh, i can't sing!" she stammered. "not really. only just to myself when nobody's listening. i didn't know you were there."
"you ought to take lessons," commented rosemary.
claudia shook her head. she was pinning back a yellow curl with a clasp.
"that's quite impossible, so it's not an atom of use thinking about it. it's beata's turn for music, and she's to begin the violin with madame bertier next term. don't look distressed! i'll just squall on to please myself. nobody else cares to hear me, i'm sure."
"it's a pity to waste a talent," said rosemary.
claudia shrugged her shoulders.
"it isn't wasted; it comes in handy to croon the babies to sleep," she answered humorously. "and as i'm going to stay at home for the present it will most probably be wanted."
rosemary went home with her head in a whirl. a voice like that to be devoted to crooning children to sleep! it seemed wicked. her experience at the college had taught her enough to make her realize how much might be made of claudia's voice [219]with proper training. oh! if she could only have exchanged places with claudia! for a moment a flood of wild, bitter jealousy swept over her. this girl had all the qualifications for the want of which she herself had failed. why had not providence, who gave her the keen enthusiasm for music, also gifted her with that throat and voice?
"it's not fair!" raged rosemary, wiping away very salt tears. "some people have all the luck in life. i'd give worlds for a strong voice, instead of my wretched little drawing-room twitter."
from her sister she enquired whether claudia could dance.
"dance!" echoed lorraine eloquently. "you should just see her! i wish you'd been at the rhythmic dancing display last christmas. her forget-me-not dance was simply a dream. everybody said they never saw anything quite so beautiful. miss leighton was tremendously proud of her. she said that claudia was the only girl in the whole school who took to the poses absolutely naturally. she fell into them as easily as easily, while all the rest of us had to practise no end."
"she's a very graceful girl, as well as immensely pretty."
there was a terrific struggle raging in rosemary's heart. she knew that signor arezzo was always on the look-out for really suitable sopranos to train for opera. a girl who fulfilled his critical conditions would be awarded entirely free tuition, with a maintenance-scholarship in addition at the [220]college of music. if claudia could be coached a little in signor arezzo's particular method of voice production, so that no glaring faults should offend him, it was highly probable that, if she were to sing before him, he would decide to give her a training.
"after two terms with him, i know exactly what he wants," reflected rosemary. "i could teach someone else, though i could not do it myself. there are all my books of exercises and studies packed away at home; i'd made up my mind never to look at them again. oh, dear! it will be like opening a wound to get them out. shall i, or shall i not? the girl seems contented enough as she is."
it takes some qualifications for sainthood to hold open for another the door of a paradise you may not enter yourself. as rosemary's mind see-sawed up and down, her eyes fell on a quotation printed on a calendar which hung in her room.
"four things come not back to man or woman—the sped arrow, the spoken word, the past life, and the neglected opportunity."
"it is an opportunity," she mused; "an opportunity of helping such as probably i shall never find again in the whole of my life. rosemary doris forrester, you've got to buck up and not be an envious beast. you're going to unpack that music, and teach that girl all you know. i say so, the real i—not the horrid, mean, jealous, selfish, contemptible part of me. here goes! i'll write and propose it, and send the letter up at once by [221]lorraine, so as to burn my boats. i hope to goodness claudia will have the sense to snatch at such a good offer. i shan't tell anybody a word about it beforehand."
lorraine, who always went willingly on any errand to windy howe, handed over her sister's impulsive letter, quite unwitting of its contents. claudia read it, flushed, and caught her breath with a sharp little cry. she turned to her friend with eyes like two stars.
"do you know what rosemary proposes?" she asked.
"no."
"why, she actually offers to teach me to sing! and oh, lorraine! she hints that, if i try hard, she would write to signor arezzo and ask him to hear me, and perhaps he would be able to give me a scholarship for the college, and i could go and study."
it was lorraine's turn to assimilate the surprise.
"good old rosemary! she's a trump card! but i thought you didn't care about winning scholarships, claudia. i believe you missed sending in that application on purpose."
claudia blushed consciously.
"that was altogether different. i hated the idea of teaching kindergarten. but to study singing! i'd love it! you know how fond i am of music—as fond as morland is, really, only i never had his fingers for the piano. i shouldn't be much of a player, i know; but to sing! it's my ideal! i'll go and write to rosemary now, and say [222]i'm ready to be her pupil to-morrow. oh, it is good of her!"
so the exercises and studies came out of their retirement in the dark cupboard after all, and rosemary grew so interested in "putting claudia through her paces", as she described it, that her own bitter disappointment began somehow to soften and tone down. claudia was a pattern pupil. to begin with, her voice was such excellent material to work upon; then she had a very world of young enthusiasm, and was sufficiently modest to accept her teacher's dicta without argument. she practised diligently, and the training soon began to tell. in quite a short time there was marked improvement. rosemary, listening to her deliciously pure high notes, felt a vicarious satisfaction. they were so exactly what she had always longed to produce herself.
"i shan't write to signor arezzo till we're through book ii," she decreed. "if you go on at this rate, i think he'll be satisfied when he hears you. if he accepts you, i shall be proud!"
for answer, claudia flung her arms round rosemary's neck and hugged her.
"you're the sweetest, kindest, most unselfish darling in the whole of the wide world!" she blurted out.
