the illness of will took a bad turn. instead of being a mere accumulation of cold and fatigue, it developed into fever, and of the most dangerous kind. perhaps he had been bringing it on for a long time by his careless ways, by his long vigils and over thought; and that day of wretched wandering, and all the confused agitation of his mind had brought it to a climax. this at least was all that could be said. he was very ill; he lay for six weeks between life and death; and mrs. ochterlony, in his sick-room, had no mind nor understanding for anything but the care of him. aunt agatha would have come to help her, but she wanted no help. she lived as women do live at such times, without knowing how—without sleep, without food, without air, without rest to her mind or comfort to her heart. except, indeed, in hugh’s face, which was as anxious as her own, but looked in upon her watching, from time to time like a face out of heaven. she had been made to understand all about it—how her prayer had been granted, and the cup had passed from her, and her honour and her children’s had been vindicated for ever. she had been made to understand this, and had given god thanks, and felt one weight the less upon her soul; but yet she did not understand it any more than will did, who in his wanderings talked without cease of the looks his mother gave him; and what had been done? he would murmur by the hour such broken unreason as he had talked to mary the morning before he was taken ill—that he meant to injure nobody—that all he wanted was his rights—that he would do anything for hugh or for his mother—only he must have his rights; and why did they all look at him so, and what did nelly mean, and what had been done? mrs. ochterlony sitting by the bedside with tears on her pale cheeks came to a knowledge of his mind which she had never possessed before—as clear a knowledge as was possible to a creature of so different a nature. and she gave god thanks in her heart that the danger had been averted, and remembered, in a confused way, the name of old sommerville, which had been engraved on her memory years before, when her husband forced her into the act which had cost her so much misery. mary could not have explained to any one how it was that old sommerville’s name came back with the sense of deliverance. for the moment she would scarcely have been surprised to know that he had come to life again to remedy the wrongs his death had brought about. all that she knew was that his name was involved in it, and that hugh was satisfied, and the danger over. she said it to herself sometimes in an apologetic way as if to account to herself for the suddenness with which all interest on the subject had passed out of her thoughts. the danger was over. two dangers so appalling could not exist together. the chances are that will’s immediate and present peril would have engrossed her all the same, even had all not been well for hugh.
when he had placed his mother and brother in the rooms he had taken for them, and had seen poor will laid down on the bed he was not to quit for long, hugh went back to see mr. penrose. he was agitated and excited, and much melted in his heart by his brother’s illness; but still, though he might forgive will, he had no thought of forgiving the elder man, who ought to have given the boy better counsel: but he was very cool and collected, keeping his indignation to himself, and going very fully into detail. old sommerville’s daughter had been married, and lived with her husband at the border village where mary’s marriage had taken place. it was she who had waited on the bride, with all the natural excitement and interest belonging to the occasion; and her husband and she, young themselves, and full of sympathy with the handsome young couple, had stolen in after them into the homely room where the marriage ceremony, such as it was, was performed. the woman who told hugh this story had not the faintest idea that suspicion of any kind rested upon the facts she was narrating, neither did her hearer tell her of it. he had listened with what eagerness, with what wonder and delight may be imagined, while she went into all the details. “she mayn’t mind me, but i mind her,” the anxious historian had said, her thoughts dwelling not on the runaway marriage she was talking of, as if that could be of importance, but on the unbuilt lodge, and the chances of getting it if she could but awake the interest of the young squire. “she had on but a cotton gown, as was not for the likes of her on her wedding-day, and a bit of a straw-bonnet; and it was me as took off her shawl, her hands being trembly a bit, as was to be expected; i took her shawl off afore she came into the room, and i slipped in after her, and made rob come, though he was shy. bless your heart, sir, the captain and the young lady never noticed him nor me.”
hugh had received all these details into his mind with a distinctness which only the emergency could have made possible. it seemed to himself that he saw the scene—more clearly, far more clearly, than that dim vision of the other scene in india, which now he ventured in his heart to believe that he recollected too. he told everything to mr. penrose, who sat with glum countenance, and listened. “and now, uncle,” he said, “i will tell you what my mother is ready to do. i don’t think she understands what i have told her about my evidence; but i found this letter she had been writing when will was taken ill. you can read it if you please. it will show you at least how wrong you were in thinking she would ever desert and abandon me.”
“i never thought she would desert and abandon you,” said mr. penrose; “of course every one must see that so long as you had the property it was her interest to stick to you—as well as for her own sake. i don’t see why i should read the letter; i daresay it is some bombastical appeal to somebody—she appealed to me last night—to believe her; as if personal credibility was to be built upon in the absence of all proofs.”
“but read it all the same,” said hugh, whose face was flushed with excitement.
mr. penrose put on his spectacles, and took the half-finished letter reluctantly into his hand. he turned it round and all over to see who it was addressed to; but there was no address; and when he began to read it, he saw it was a letter to a lawyer, stating her case distinctly, and asking for advice. was there not a way of getting it tried and settled, mary had written; was there not some court that could be appealed to at once, to examine all the evidence, and make a decision that would be good and stand, and could not be re-opened? “i am ready to appear and be examined, to do anything or everything that is necessary,” were the last words mrs. ochterlony had written; and then she had forgotten her letter, forgotten her resolution and her fear, and everything else in the world but her boy who was ill. her other boy, after he had set her heart free to devote itself to the one who now wanted her most, had found the letter; and he, too, had been set free in his turn. up to that very last moment he had feared and doubted what mr. penrose called the “exposure” for his mother; he had been afraid of wounding her, afraid of making any suggestion that could imply publicity. and upon the letter which mr. penrose turned thus about in his hand was at least one large round blister of a tear—a big drop of compunction, and admiration, and love, which had dropped upon it out of hugh’s proud and joyful eyes.
“ah,” said uncle penrose, who was evidently staggered: and he took off his spectacles and put them back in their case. “if she were to make up her mind to that,” he continued slowly, “i would not say that you might not have a chance. it would have the look of being confident in her case. i’ll tell you what, hugh,” he went on, changing his tone. “does the doctor give much hope of will?”
“much hope!” cried hugh, faltering. “good heavens! uncle, what do you mean? has he told you anything? why, there is every chance—every hope.”
“don’t get excited,” said mr. penrose. “i hope so i am sure. but what i have to say is this: if anything were to happen to will, it would be some distant ochterlonys, i suppose, that would come in after him—supposing you were put aside, you know. i don’t mind working for will, but i’d have nothing to do with that. i could not be the means of sending the property out of the family. and i don’t see now, in the turn things have taken, that there would be any particular difficulty between ourselves in hushing it all up.”
“in hushing it up?” said hugh, with an astonished look.
“yes, if we hold our tongues. i daresay that is all that would be necessary,” said mr. penrose. “if you only would have the good sense all of you to hold your tongues and keep your counsel, it might be easily hushed up.”
but uncle penrose was not prepared for the shower of indignation that fell upon him. hugh got up and made him an oration, which the young man poured forth out of the fulness of his heart; and said, god forgive him for the harm he had done to one of them, for the harm he had tried to do to all—in a tone very little in harmony with the prayer; and shook off, as it were, the dust off his feet against him, and rushed from the house, carrying, folded up carefully in his pocket-book, his mother’s letter. it was she who had found out what to do—she whose reluctance, whose hesitation, or shame, was the only thing that hugh would have feared. and it was not only that he was touched to the heart by his mother’s readiness to do all and everything for him; he was proud, too, with that sweetest of exultation which recognises the absolute best in its best beloved. so he went through the suburban streets carrying his head high, with moisture in his eyes, but the smile of hope and a satisfied heart upon his lips. hush it up! when it was all to her glory from the first to the last of it. rather write it up in letters of gold, that all the world might see it. this was how hugh, being still so young, in the pride and emotion of the moment, thought in his heart.
and mrs. ochterlony, by her boy’s sick-bed, knew nothing of it all. she remembered to ask for her blotting-book with the letters in it which she had been writing, but was satisfied when she heard hugh had it; and she accepted the intervention of old sommerville, dead or living, without demanding too many explanations. she had now something else more absorbing, more engrossing, to occupy her, and two supreme emotions cannot hold place in the mind at the same time. will required constant care, an attention that never slumbered, and she would not have any one to share her watch with her. she found time to write to aunt agatha, who wanted to come, giving the cheerfullest view of matters that was possible, and declaring that she was quite able for what she had to do. and mary had another offer of assistance which touched her, and yet brought a smile to her face. it was from mrs. kirkman, offering to come to her assistance at once, to leave all her responsibilities for the satisfaction of being with her friend and sustaining her strength and being “useful” to the poor sufferer. it was a most anxious letter, full of the warmest entreaties to be allowed to come, and mary was moved by it, though she gave it to hugh to read with a faint smile on her lip.
“i always told you she was a good woman,” said mrs. ochterlony. “if i were to let her come, i know she would make a slave of herself to serve us both.”
“but you will not let her come,” said hugh, with a little alarm; “i don’t know about your good woman. she would do it, and then tell everybody how glad she was that she had been of so much use.”
“but she is a good woman in spite of her talk,” said mary; and she wrote to mrs. kirkman a letter which filled the soul of the colonel’s wife with many thoughts. mrs. ochterlony wrote to her that it would be vain for her to have any help, for she could not leave her boy—could not be apart from him while he was so ill, was what mary said—but that her friend knew how strong she was, and that it would not hurt her, if god would but spare her boy. “oh, my poor will! don’t forget to think of him,” mary said, and the heart which was in mrs. kirkman’s wordy bosom knew what was meant. and then partly, perhaps, it was her fault; she might have been wise, she might have held her peace when will came to ask that fatal information. and yet, perhaps, it might be for his good, or perhaps—perhaps, god help him, he might die. and then mrs. kirkman’s heart sank within her, and she was softer to all the people in her district, and did not feel so sure of taking upon her the part of providence. she could not but remember how she had prayed that mary should not be let alone, and how major ochterlony had died after it, and she felt that that was not what she meant, and that god, so to speak, had gone too far. if the same thing were to happen again! she was humbled and softened to all her people that day, and she spent hours of it upon her knees, praying with tears streaming down her cheeks for will. and it was not till full twenty-four hours after that she could take any real comfort from the thought that it must be for all their good; which shows that mrs. ochterlony’s idea of her after all was right.
these were but momentary breaks in the long stretch of pain, and terror, and lingering and sickening hope. day after day went and came, and mary took no note of them, and knew nothing more of them than as they grew light and dark upon the pale face of her boy. hugh had to leave her by times, but there was no break to her in the long-continued vigil. his affairs had to go on, his work to be resumed, and his life to proceed again as if it had never come to that full stop. but as for mary, it began to appear to her as if she had lived all her life in that sick-room. then islay came, always steady and trustworthy. this was towards the end, when it was certain that the crisis must be approaching for good or for evil. and poor aunt agatha in her anxiety and her loneliness had fallen ill too, and wrote plaintive, suffering letters, which moved mary’s heart even in the great stupor of her own anxiety. it was then that hugh went, much against his will, to the cottage, at his mother’s entreaty, to carry comfort to the poor old lady. he had to go to earlston to see after his own business, and from thence to aunt agatha, whose anxiety was no less great at a distance than theirs was at hand; and hugh was to be telegraphed for at once if there was “any change.” any change!—that was the way they had got to speak, saying it in a whisper, as if afraid to trust the very air with words which implied so much. hugh stole into the sick room before he went away, and saw poor will, or at least a long white outline of a face, with two big startling eyes, black and shining, which must be will’s, lying back on the pillows; and he heard a babble of weary words about his mother and nelly, and what had he done? and withdrew as noiselessly as he entered, with the tears in his eyes, and that poignant and intolerable anguish in his heart with which the young receive the first intimation that one near to them must go away. it seemed an offence to hugh, as he left the house to see so many lads in the streets, who were of will’s age, and so many children encumbering the place everywhere, unthought of, uncared for, unloved, to whom almost it would be a benefit to die. but it was not one of them who was to be taken, but will, poor will, the youngest, who had been led astray, and had still upon his mind a sense of guilt. hugh was glad to go to work at earlston to get the thought out of his mind, glad to occupy himself about the museum, and to try to forget that his brother was slowly approaching the crisis, after which perhaps there might be no hope; and his heart beat loud in his ears every time he heard a sound, dreading that it might be the promised summons, and that “some change”—dreadful intimation—had occurred; and it was in the same state of mind that he went on to the cottage, looking into the railway people’s faces at every station to see if, perhaps, they had heard something. he was not much like carrying comfort to anybody. he had never been within reach of the shadow of death before, except in the case of his uncle; and his uncle was old, and it was natural he should die—but will! whenever he said, or heard, or even thought the name his heart seemed to swell, and grow “grit,” as the cumberland folks said, and climb into his throat.
but yet there was consolation to hugh even at such a moment. when he arrived at the cottage he found nelly there in attendance upon aunt agatha; and nelly was full of wistful anxiety, and had a world of silent questions in her eyes. he had not written to her in answer to her letter, though it had done so much for him. nobody had written to the girl, who was obliged to stay quiet at home, and ask no questions, and occupy herself about other matters. and no doubt nelly had suffered and might have made herself very unhappy, and felt herself deeply neglected and injured, had she been of that manner of nature. she had heard only the evident facts which everybody knew of—that will had been taken ill, and that hugh was in liverpool, and even islay had been sent for; but whether will’s illness was anything more than ordinary disease, or how the family affairs, which lay underneath, were being settled, nelly could not tell. nobody knew; not aunt agatha, nor mrs. kirkman, though it was her hand which had helped to set everything in motion. sometimes it occurred to nelly that mr. hugh might have written to her; sometimes she was disposed to fear that he might be angry—might think she had no right to interfere. men did not like people to interfere with their affairs, she said to herself sometimes, even when they meant—oh! the very kindest; and nelly dried her eyes and would acknowledge to herself that it was just. but when hugh came, and was in the same room with her, and sat by her side, and was just the same—nay, perhaps, if that could be, more than just the same—then it was more than nelly’s strength of mind could do to keep from questioning him with her eyes. she gave little glances at him which asked—“is all well?”—in language plainer than words; and hugh’s eyes, overcast as they were by that shadow of death which was upon them, could not answer promptly—“all is well.” and aunt agatha knew nothing of this secret which lay between them; so far as miss seton had been informed as yet, will’s running away was but a boyish freak, and his illness an ordinary fever. and yet somehow it made hugh take a brighter view of everything—made him think less drearily of will’s danger, and be less alarmed about the possible arrival of a telegram, when he read the question in nelly askell’s eyes.
but it was the morning after his arrival before he could make any response. aunt agatha, who was an invalid, did not come downstairs early, and the two young creatures were left to each other’s company. then there ensued a little interval of repose to hugh’s mind, which had been so much disturbed of late, which he did not feel willing to break even by entering upon matters which might produce a still greater confidence and rapprochement. all that had been passing lately had given a severe shock to his careless youth, which, before that, had never thought deeply of anything. and to feel himself thus separated as it were from the world of anxiety and care he had been living in, and floated in to this quiet nook, and seated here all tranquil in a nameless exquisite happiness, with nelly by him, and nobody to interfere with him, did him good, poor fellow. he did not care to break the spell even to satisfy her, nor perhaps to produce a more exquisite delight for himself. the rest, and the sweet unexpressed sympathy, and the soft atmosphere that was about him, gave hugh all the consolation of which at this moment he was capable; and he was only a man—and he was content to be thus consoled without inquiring much whether it was as satisfactory for her. it was only when the ordinary routine of the day began, and disturbed the tête-à-tête, that he bethought him of how much remained to be explained to nelly; and then he asked her to go out with him to the garden. “come and show me the roses we used to water,” said hugh; “you remember?” and so they went out together, with perhaps, if that were possible, a more entire possession of each other’s society—a more complete separation from everybody else in the world.
they went to see the roses, and though they were fading and shabby, with the last flowers overblown and disconsolate, and the leaves dropping off the branches, that melancholy sight made little impression on nelly and hugh. the two indulged in certain reminiscences of what had been, “you remember?”—comings back of the sweet recent untroubled past, such as give to the pleasant present and fair future their greatest charm. and then all at once hugh stopped short, and looked in his companion’s face. he said it without the least word of introduction, leaping at once into the heart of the subject, in a way which gave poor nelly no warning, no time to prepare.
“nelly,” he said all at once, “i never thanked you for your letter.”
“oh, mr. hugh!” cried nelly, and her heart gave a sudden thump, and the water sprang to her eyes. she was so much startled that she put her hand to her side to relieve the sudden panting of her breath. “i was going to ask you if you had been angry?” she added, after a pause.
“angry! how could i be angry?” said hugh.
“you might have thought it very impertinent of me talking of things i had no business with,” said nelly, with downcast eyes.
“impertinent! perhaps you suppose i would think an angel impertinent if it came down from heaven for a moment, and showed a little interest in my concerns?” said hugh. “and do you really think you have no business with me, nelly? i did not think you were so indifferent to your friends.”
“to be sure we are very old friends,” said nelly, with a blush and a smile; but she saw by instinct that such talk was dangerous. and then she put on her steady little face and looked up at him to put an end to all this nonsense.—“i want so much to hear about dear mrs. ochterlony,” she said.
“and i have never told you that it had come all right,” said hugh. “i was so busy at first i had no time for writing letters; and last night there was aunt agatha, who knows nothing about it; and this morning—well this morning you know, i was thinking of nothing but you——”
“oh, thank you,” said nelly, with a little confusion, “but tell me more, please. you said it was all right——”
“yes,” said hugh, “but i don’t know if it ever would have come right but for your letter; i was down as low as ever a man could be; i had no heart for anything; i did not know what to think even about my—— about anything. and then your dear little letter came. it was that that made me something of a man again. and i made up my mind to face it and not to give in. and then all at once the proof came—some people who lived at gretna and had seen the marriage. did you go there?”
“no,” said nelly, with a tremulous voice; and now whatever might come of it, it would have been quite impossible for her to raise her eyes.
“ah, i see,” said hugh, “it was only to show me what to do—but all the same it was your doing. if you had not written to me like that, i was more likely to have gone and hanged myself, than to have minded my business and seen the people. nelly, i will always say it was you.”
“no—no,” said nelly, withdrawing, not without some difficulty, her hand out of his. “never mind me; i am so glad—i am so very glad; but then i don’t know about dear mrs. ochterlony—and oh, poor will!”
his brother’s name made hugh fall back a little. he had very nearly forgotten everything just then except nelly herself. but when he remembered that his brother, perhaps, might be dying——
“you know how ill he is,” he said, with a little shudder. “it must be selfish to be happy. i had almost forgotten about poor will.”
“oh, no, no,” cried nelly; “we must not forget about him; he could never mean it—he would have come to himself one day. oh, mr. hugh——”
“don’t call me that,” cried the young man; “you say will—why should i be different. nelly? if i thought you cared for him more than for me——”
“oh, hush!” said nelly, “how can you think of such things when he is so ill, and mrs. ochterlony in such trouble. and besides, you are different,” she added hastily; and hugh saw the quick crimson going up to her hair, over her white brow and her pretty neck, and again forgot will, and everything else in the world.
“nelly,” he said, “you must care for me most. i don’t mind about anything without that. i had rather be in poor will’s place if you think of somebody else just the same as of me. nelly, look here—there is nobody on earth that i can ever feel for as i feel for you.”
“oh, mr. hugh!” cried nelly. she had only one hand to do anything with, for he held the other fast, and she put that up to her eyes, to which the tears had come, though she did not very well know why.
“it is quite true,” cried the eager young man. “you may think i should not say it now; but nelly, if there are ill news shall i not want you to comfort me? and if there are good news you will be as glad as i am. oh, nelly, don’t keep silent like that, and turn your head away—you know there is nobody in the world that loves you like me.”
“oh, please don’t say any more just now,” said nelly, through her tears. “when i think of poor will who is perhaps—— and he and i were babies together; it is not right to be so happy when poor will—— yes, oh yes—another time i will not mind.”
and even then poor nelly did not mind. they were both so young, and the sick boy was far away from them, not under their eyes as it were; and even whatever might happen, it could not be utter despair for hugh and nelly. they were selfish so far as they could not help being selfish—they had their moment of delight standing there under the faded roses, with the dead leaves dropping at their feet. neither autumn nor any other chill—neither anxiety nor suspense, nor even the shadow of death could keep them asunder. had not they the more need of each other if trouble was coming? that was hugh’s philosophy, and nelly’s heart could not say him nay.
but when that moment was over aunt agatha’s voice was heard calling from an upper window. “hugh, hugh!” the old lady called. “i see a man leaving the station with a letter in his hand—it is the man who brings the telegraph—oh, hugh, my dear boy!”
hugh did not stop to hear any more. he woke up in a moment out of himself, and rushed forth upon the road to meet the messenger, leaving nelly and his joy behind him. he felt as if he had been guilty then, but as he flew along the road he had no time to think. as for poor nelly, she took to walking up and down the lawn, keeping him in sight, with limbs that trembled under her, and eyes half blind with tears and terror. nelly had suffered to some extent from the influence of mrs. kirkman’s training. she could not feel sure that to be very happy, nay blessed, to feel one’s self full of joy and unmingled content, was not something of an offence to god. perhaps it was selfish and wicked at that moment, and now the punishment might be coming. if it should be so, would it not be her fault. she who had let herself be persuaded, who ought to have known better. aunt agatha sat at her window, sobbing, and saying little prayers aloud without knowing it. “god help my mary! oh god, help my poor mary: give her strength to bear it!” was what aunt agatha said. and poor nelly for her part put up another prayer, speechless, in an agony—“god forgive us,” she said, in her innocent heart.
but all at once both of them stopped praying, stopped weeping, and gave one simultaneous cry, that thrilled through the whole grey landscape. and this was why it was;—hugh, a distant figure on the road, had met the messenger, had torn open the precious despatch. it was too far off to tell them in words, or make any other intelligible sign. what he did was to fling his hat into the air and give a wild shout, which they saw rather than heard. was it all well? nelly went to the gate to meet him, and held by it, and aunt agatha came tottering downstairs. and what he did next was to tear down the road like a racehorse, the few country folks about it staring at him as if he were mad,—and to seize nelly in his arms in open day, on the open road, and kiss her publicly before aunt agatha, and peggy, and all the world. “she said she would not mind,” cried hugh, breathlessly, coming headlong into the garden, “as soon as we heard that will was going to get well; and there’s the despatch, aunt agatha, and nelly is to be my wife.”
this was how two joyful events in the ochterlony family intimated themselves at the same moment to bliss seton and her astonished house.
