food never drops out of a clear sky. when the sky is dark with clouds, it sometimes rains toads; that is different. i have yet to hear of a barbed iron hook being concealed in the flesh of a toad. insects and other morsels that float down the brook into the pool come to us in the regular course of nature, and may be swallowed without question.
—maxims of grandfather pickerel.
toots went back to the boulder by the river's margin that same afternoon, and resumed his observation of the pickerel family at home. reginald was taking a nap on the grassy slope of the river bank, and the princess was tenderly waving her handkerchief over his face to keep off the flies. on a rainy day not long afterward toots gave her the following account of his observations:
mother pickerel was worried. she expected company, and everything was at sixes [pg 108]and sevens. the little pickerels were quarrelsome, and were constantly getting in her way. she cuffed them with her fins, and asked them what they supposed their aunt bass would think of their conduct. the little pickerels loved their aunt bass, she was so amiable and entertaining. they chattered about her with their noses close together under the rocks where the brook entered the pool. aunt bass was not fierce and greedy like uncle pike. sometimes she came over to the pool at sundown, and amused them by [pg 109]leaping far out of the water to catch fireflies. and she would tell them such lovely stories of all she saw in the strange upper world, where there was nothing to swim in. she was delightful. the little pickerels disputed angrily about which of them should go to meet her. they chased each other about and blundered rudely into the corner where grandfather pickerel was trying to have a quiet nap. the old fellow grumbled so loudly at this interruption that mother pickerel [pg 110]had to leave her work again. she cuffed them right and left, saying:
"how often have i told you not to disturb your grandfather when he is taking his nap? and his stomach troubling him so! don't you know it rained last night? oh, you bad children, to worry your grandfather after a rain when his stomach hurts him so."
just then father pickerel came home. hearing what had happened, he went at once and apologized to grandfather pickerel. presently mother pickerel joined them. baby pickerel sneaked up near enough to hear what they were saying. after a little she rejoined her brothers and sisters, looking very important.
"what are they talking about?" demanded the other little pickerels, in a chorus.
"about big brother," said baby pickerel. "i just knew that was what was the matter. [pg 111]he's been gallivanting again after that ill-bred miss catfish. he can't be found anywhere. uncle pike's gone after him, and pretty soon there's going to be a regular picnic, i can tell you. all the relations are coming. i expect big brother's going to catch it this time."
miss pickerel turned up her nose [pg 112]disdainfully. "the idea of brother running after that catfish girl. what shocking bad taste! did you notice what a horrid big mouth she has?"
"and she hasn't got a decent suit of scales to her back," chimed in the next to the youngest pickerel.
"she actually eats mud," said baby pickerel. "i saw her do it only the other day. when she noticed that i saw her, she looked ashamed and sneaked away."
"i am very glad to hear that she is not lost to all sense of shame," said miss pickerel, with a toss of her head.
"for my part," said one of the little pickerels who had not yet spoken, "i'd about as lief be a low-bred catfish as a greedy, quarrelsome pike."
"s-s-s-h!" said miss pickerel, warningly, "the pikes are our relations."
[pg 113]
"i don't care if they are. uncle pike is perfectly disgraceful. he snatches the fattest tadpoles and gulps them down at a single mouthful before any one else has a chance at them. he has the most enormous appetite. it's unnatural, too, i'm sure. yesterday i saw him sneaking about after baby. do you know, i have an idea he could tell what became of little cousin bass last summer. it made me shudder to see him watching baby with his big, greedy eyes. i went and told grandfather, and they had some warm words about it."
as they listened to this gruesome tale, the other little pickerels turned pale and were silent. they did not recover their accustomed spirits until aunt bass bustled in among them, giving each a pat with her gentle fin. she was [pg 114]closely followed by uncle pike, who was driving before him big brother pickerel and miss catfish. big brother pickerel kept a protecting fin spread above miss catfish, and his bold features bore an expression of defiance. miss catfish was pale and trembling.
"if i were in her place," whispered miss pickerel to her brothers and sisters, "i should want the earth to open and swallow me up!"
the pickerel family and all the relations drew up in line and looked with severity at big brother pickerel, who continued his protecting attitude toward miss catfish. at length grandfather pickerel spoke.
[pg 115]
"grandson," said he, "it is more in sorrow than in anger that we are gathered here. speak. do you insist on bringing that young person into this respectable family?"
"i do," answered big brother pickerel, firmly; "and as for the respectability of the family, i don't—"
"that will do, sir!" thundered grandfather pickerel, in a terrible voice. "so be it. miss catfish, consider yourself raised to our level. your apartment is under the seventeenth cobble-stone to the left of where the brook enters the pool. spare your protestations of gratitude, i beg of you. our feelings are too deep for words."
at this instant the proceedings were interrupted by a dazzling object that dropped into the water a short distance down the stream, and came glinting and whirling through the pool. big brother pickerel [pg 116]made a dash for it, but grandfather pickerel hit him such a slap with the flat of his tail that he fell back, dazed, to the bottom of the pool.
"idiot! look up and see what you were jumping at."
when the others looked in the direction indicated by grandfather pickerel, they saw a most amusing thing. a dapper young man was actually trying to deceive them with some scarlet feathers and a silver bangle at the end of a line. even baby pickerel knew better. big brother pickerel looked very much ashamed. he tried to explain that his nervousness over domestic matters had temporarily warped his judgment.
[pg 117]
grandfather pickerel rose cautiously toward the surface of the pool to see whether any more formidable enemy was in sight. he saw toots sitting on the boulder, but there was nothing to cause alarm in that. on the contrary, grandfather pickerel regarded toots in the light of a friend and sympathizer. he had only one reason to be at all doubtful concerning him. he sometimes came down to the pool with the terribly fascinating big man in the tattered straw hat. grandfather pickerel felt a dyspeptic twinge in the pit of his stomach as he recalled his experiences with the big man. as he sank back into the pool, the other pickerels noticed that he appeared grave and preoccupied. this meant that the head of the family was turning something over in his mind that he would shortly [pg 118]communicate to them. so they approached in a respectful semicircle, and waited expectantly. grandfather pickerel cast his eye over his audience, and asked:
"where is my son?"
"father has gone to see aunt bass home," answered mother pickerel; "he will return in a few minutes."
grandfather pickerel cleared his throat, and looking severely at big brother pickerel, said:
"i must again warn you of the necessity of using care and judgment in the selection of your food. i will pass over the humiliating scene we have just witnessed, simply reminding you that dazzling objects which seem to drop out of the sky should never be construed as food. my youngest grandchild would be ashamed to act as you have done, sir!"
[pg 119]
big brother pickerel hung his head, while baby pickerel swelled with pride to twice her natural size. at this instant the brilliant combination of scarlet and silver again came whirling through the water above their heads. the whole pickerel family gazed at it without the slightest evidence of emotion, whereat grandfather pickerel gave them a benignant smile, and continued:
"as a general rule, everything that drops into the pool is to be regarded with suspicion. food never drops out of a clear sky. when the sky is dark with clouds it sometimes rains toads; that is different. i have yet to hear of a barbed iron hook being found concealed in the flesh of a toad. insects and other morsels that float down the brook into the pool come to us in the regular course of nature, and may be swallowed without question."
[pg 120]
here grandfather pickerel stopped and reflected for a moment. presently he added:
"regarding objects that seem to drop out of the sky, i think of one exception—grasshoppers"—the little pickerels smacked their lips at mention of this delectable morsel—"which may either fly into the pool from a distance or leap in from the bank.
"i now come," said the patriarch, "to the most deadly danger with which we have to deal. i refer to the powerful fascination which seems to be exercised over us by those big two-legged creatures in tattered straw hats, carrying long, crooked poles over their shoulders, who come down to the pool and lure us to destruction with grubs impaled on sharp iron hooks. i don't know how to account for it," said grandfather pickerel, shaking his head and turning pale about the gills, "except on the theory of hypnotism—"
[pg 121]
"oh, here comes papa!" interrupted baby pickerel.
but the others were gazing in consternation at the patriarch, who was now white clear to the tip of his tail and shaking with terror. he was staring upward with wild, distended eyes. the others looked also and understood. the big man was there with his crooked pole. they felt themselves drawn toward him. he was throwing something into the pool.
"back! back!" shouted grandfather pickerel. "back for your lives!" but the warning was too late. father pickerel, approaching from the middle of the river, jumped at the white grub, and all was over. the bereaved pickerel family saw him dangling helplessly at the end of the big man's line, then disappearing into the unknown world where there is nothing to swim in.
[pg 122]
"back under the rocks, all of you!" thundered grandfather pickerel. "there is only one thing to be done. i must have that hook, or soon there'll be none left to tell the tale. thank heaven, i have two sound teeth in my head yet."
with bated breath and quivering fins the other pickerels peered out from under the rocks at the desperate struggle which immediately ensued. it was short, but decisive. the waters of the pool were lashed into foam. the little pickerels were half-mad with terror. all at once they gave [pg 123]a loud cheer. the victorious patriarch was returning. there was bloody foam on his jaws, but several inches of fish-line hung from between them. the aged hero paid no attention to the cheering, but swam dejectedly into the farthest corner of his den. mother pickerel followed him in silence. when she returned, her eyes were red.
"didn't grandfather get the hook after all?" asked baby pickerel.
"hush, dear," said mother pickerel, wiping her eyes with the tip of her tail. "yes, your grandfather has the hook safe in the pit of his stomach along with all the others, and it is paining him dreadfully."
the princess was still fanning the flies away from the face of reginald. john was cultivating corn on the high bank of the river. every five or six minutes he turned his team near by from one row into the next one. [pg 124]toots remembered john's extra pole and line concealed behind the old cottonwood. he went and got it. but how about bait? then toots had a second inspiration. he recalled grandfather pickerel's remark about grasshoppers. there were plenty of them all about. at that instant a fat one dropped out of the tree and lay with its long legs on the rocks at toots' feet. the boy, as tenderly as possible, stuck it on the hook and went back to the boulder. first, he would see what was going on in the bosom of the pickerel family.
mother pickerel was asking grandfather pickerel if he didn't think he'd better take a bite of something to stay his stomach till dinner-time.
"there's some nice tender tadpoles over in the mouth of the brook," she said. "do try half a dozen raw, dearie, won't you?"
[pg 125]
it was at that very instant that toots' grasshopper, with the hook through the small of his back, jumped out of his hands into the pool. before the boy had time to realize what had happened, the line and then the pole began moving of their own accord toward the water's edge. toots grabbed the pole and was nearly dragged into the pool. he looked around and saw john turning his team on the high bank.
"i've got him, john! come here quick!" yelled toots.
reginald awoke barely in time to seize the end of the pole before it and toots had been dragged into the water. john came tearing down the bank, shouting at the top of his voice:
"don't fight him yet. give him the line! give him the line!"
"he's got the line," said reginald, "and [pg 126]he seems to want the pole, too. now is the time when fifty yards of silk and a good reel—"
"here, give me the pole," said john; "we'll see who's master this time."
then followed a most exciting scene. when at last grandfather pickerel's nose appeared above the surface of the pool, john hadn't a dry rag to his back. the big man was amazed to see that the old pickerel made no attempt to bite off the line. when he had him safely landed, the first thing he did was to look in his mouth.
"well, i'm durned," said john. "the old sinner hasn't a tooth left in his head."
as toots gazed on the form of the vanquished patriarch, all his pride of conquest was swallowed up in a great wave of pity.
"he'll never swallow any more fish-hooks, will he, john?"
[pg 127]
"well, i guess not," said the big man; "the frying pan will stop all that nonsense."
"it seems a pity to fry the old chap," said toots. "he's lost all his teeth and can't do any more damage."
"that's so," answered john, good naturedly; "maybe you'd rather put him in the spring, and keep him for a pet?"
but toots was thinking of the grief of the pickerel family. how would mother pickerel be able to get along with both father and grandfather pickerel no more, especially considering the doubtful character of big brother pickerel, with his tendency to overturn the established order of society? when he had thought it all over, he said:
"no, john, i'd rather put him back in the pool, where he can continue to care for the little pickerels."
[pg 128]
and thus the patriarch of the pickerel family, wiser than any of his race, before or since, was restored to those who had such grave need of his guidance.
